
While I am someone who doesn’t think that we should fear getting older (with time, hopefully, comes wisdom and that’s always a good thing), at the same time, I also don’t think that we need to be out here looking older than we are, simply because we’ve been careless with some of our daily habits. Because y’all, as much as we all know that the extra melanin that we’ve got in our skin is a blessing beyond measure, that doesn’t mean that we should take it for granted.
And just how do some of us do that very thing? Check out these 12 random habits that can put a dent in the “Black don’t crack” narrative. It might just surprise you how much you do them and how stopping it can have you looking 5-15 years younger in absolutely no time.
1. Neglecting Your Neck
There is a particular Black celebrity woman who I’ve always found to be attractive. She also ages really well. Matter of fact, I still think she could pass for being about 15 years younger than she actually is — if it wasn’t for her neck. Her neck has a lot of rings around it which makes it look kinda old. She’s actually the reason why I make sure to pay closer-than-ever attention to my own, now that I’m in my 40s.
For me, that consists of applying some rosemary oil to my neck in the morning and at night. It hydrates it really well. That’s what works for me. As for you, just make sure, because the skin around your neck is thinner than the skin that is on your face, that you also moisturize it on a consistent basis and that you even apply sunscreen. Because if there are two spots that can age us, no matter what our face may look like, our neck and hands would definitely have to be it.
2. Constantly Wearing Acrylic Nails
Before the pandemic decided to totally show out, I would see my nail tech like clockwork. Although my nails were mine (no tips), I would get them powder dipped (which is lighter than acrylic and lasts longer) and because I like to switch my styles up, I would see her a couple of times a month (at least). But when the country shut down and I had to take a couple of hours to totally soak that dip off myself and then several weeks to get my nails back healthy and thriving? I’ve been really hesitant about returning to powder (especially now that new variants of COVID are upon us and things could possibly shut down again).
It might be a wise move too because I also read that something that can age our hands are acrylic nails. Why? Because the continuous process of applying, filling, and removing the product from our nails causes our cuticles to thicken over time which causes our hands to look older than they should. If you just read all of that and were like “whatever,” at least consider going on 3-6 month breaks sometimes; a lot of professionals say that’s the best way to keep your nails healthy overall.
3. Drinking Too Much Coffee
One of the most controversial foods (in the sense of the pros being about as much as the cons) is coffee. What I’ll say as it relates to this topic, in particular, is if you’re someone who can’t seem to get through a day without at least three cups, you should probably scale that back a bit. Aside from the fact that coffee can create somewhat of a diuretic effect which can lead to dehydration (which isn’t good for your skin), the caffeine that’s in it also tends to lower your dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA); that’s a hormone that helps to reduce inflammation and keep you looking younger. You know what that means, right? Even if you don’t do coffee but you drink anything that’s highly caffeinated, it’s probably working against you rather than for you on the anti-aging tip.
4. Eating Inflammatory Foods
Y’all probably aren’t going to like this very much but — sugar, refined carbs, dairy, trans fat, vegetable oil, processed meat, and (excessive) alcohol. Wanna know what these things have in common? They all have the ability to trigger inflammation in your system. The problem with that, when it comes to premature aging, is not only can that accelerate the aging process but sugary stuff can break down the collagen and elastin in your system too (which is never good). Life is too short to not enjoy some “fun stuff” every once in a while. Still, for the sake of your Black not cracking, always remember to consume inflammatory-prone foods in extreme moderation.
5. Always Sipping from a Straw
I like straws; especially since I adore some lip color and straws help to keep it from smudging or getting onto my teeth. Plus, straws can keep sugary drinks from getting too much on my teeth, not to mention the fact that I feel a lot better about drinking from cups and glasses in restaurants when I have a straw in hand. Yet as with most things in life, there are a couple of cons to them. For one thing, most are made out of plastic which definitely isn’t good for the environment. Also, the constant puckering that we have to do to suck through a straw can actually cause fine lines and wrinkles — not immediately but eventually. I guess the bottom line here would be to use them in moderation too. Oh, and to thoroughly moisturize that space in between your nose and lips. Sometimes it gets neglected more than it should too.
6. Constantly Wearing Eye Make-Up
I wasn’t allowed to wear make-up while growing up. Matter of fact, I don’t think it was until my junior year of high school that I got to put on something that was more than tinted lip gloss. In hindsight, I’m grateful because, although my gene pool is pretty dope when it comes to aging well, I know that when people tell me that I don’t look my age, going without make-up (most of the time) has been a huge part of my saving grace (check out “8 Solid Reasons To Go Make-Up Free At Least Once A Week”).
This point was further affirmed when I read that another thing that can age a person is constantly wearing eye make-up and/or not removing it properly. The main reason why is because the thinnest skin on our face and body, period, is our eyelids. So, constantly manipulating that space wears it down and ultimately ages us. That’s why it’s a good idea to sometimes rock a “wake-up face”. And when you do wear eye stuff that you apply an emulsifier (something that has water in it that allows water and oil to easily mix) like Aquaphor to remove your eyeshadow, eyeliner, and mascara, so that your delicate skin is handled with some much-needed TLC.
7. Not Wearing Sunglasses
I recently went to the eye doctor. While we were discussing the fact that my mild astigmatism was healing (I had no idea it could do that), I got mildly reprimanded for not wearing sunglasses more often. I had no idea that it reduces my chances of getting cancer and cataracts (I just saw them as a way to make squinting in the sun less of an occurrence, to be honest). As a bonus, sunglasses also reduce fine lines and, since crow’s feet can definitely age a person, you can best believe I’ll be picking up a pair sooner than later.
8. Tight Ass Protective Styles
I’ll be the first to say that when I get my hair braided if there’s something that I want my stylist to do, it is to make sure that they get as much of my edges into those braids as possible. Between my braider being really good and my not getting braids back-to-back all of the time, my edges have survived my pseudo vanity. I do know others who can’t say the same because whether it’s their braids, twists, wigs, weaves, or high ponytails, the constant stress and strain that their hairline has had to endure have resulted in very thin or flat-out bald edges that have added a few years onto them.
A flawless hairstyle is top-tier. I get it. At the same time, it’s a little counterproductive to get a protective style that doesn’t protect ALL of your hair…right? By the way, if you want to take extra special care of your edges and nape right through here, check out “7 Tips For Getting The Edges And Nape Of Your Neck To Grow Faster."
9. Doing THE MOST with Your Face
I’d be surprised if you didn’t have at least one relative who, if they saw you cross your eyes when you were a kid, told you to stop because they could end up getting stuck that way. Hmph. Somebody needed to alert more of us about this when it comes to those totally over-the-top facial expressions that a lot of us put on display.
Constantly doing things like turning up your lips or furrowing your brows can also cause fine lines to set in. Yeah, I know a lot of us think that we’re doing nothing more than being “expressive” but exaggerating our facial expressions can age us faster than we want to. Don’t say that I didn’t warn you, chile.
10. Sleeping on a Cheap Pillowcase
I’ll tell you what — the older I get, the more I am learning to respect my bedding more. Take pillowcases. While a lot of us know that a satin one can be good for our hair (because it helps to keep moisture in our locks), were you aware of the fact that a silk one can help to reduce wrinkles? Sometimes, it might seem like it’s a wise move, financially, to go with cheaper sheets but when you’re rolling around for 6-8 hours a night on a set of rough pillowcases, that can start to put tiny marks on your face that can result in premature wrinkles or even sagging. So, if you haven’t been investing some good money into your bedding, this is a solid reason why you should.
11. Not Having Enough GOOD Sex
I write about sex, basically all of the time. That’s why I know that I can easily provide you with literally dozens of reasons why having as much sex as possible is beneficial. Matter of fact, in the article “10 Irrefutable Reasons To Have An Orgasm A Day,” one of the things that I touch on is the fact that orgasms can make you look younger. The long-short of it is, orgasms help to decrease stress and elevate estrogen levels — both are great because stress triggers premature aging and estrogen helps to collagen and elastin production.
Long sessions can cause you to sweat which removes toxins and bonding with your partner increases oxytocin which is also stress’s enemy. Just make sure that it’s good sex because the more that it goes down, the more often you’ll want to “engage” and the better off your skin will be because of it.
12. Not Having a Pamper Day (At Least Twice a Month)
At the turn of every birthday, something that I commit to, more and more, is refusing to let any person, place, thing, or idea stress me out. For what? Stress is directly attributed to things like obesity, diabetes, headaches, depression, and heart disease (which continues to be the #1 killer among Black women). If you add to that the fact that accelerated levels of cortisol (the stress hormone in our system) can also break down collagen and elastin at an accelerated rate…why wouldn’t you see doing things like having a pamper day as a necessity in your life?
Massages. Mani/pedis. Facials. Take a bubble bath. Unplug from social media. Doing things that make you feel good and help you to relax is good for your mind, body, and spirit and can help to keep you looking younger for a longer period of time. That’s why you should definitely pamper yourself, at least a couple of times a month. You will adore it and your skin will adore it even more!
Featured image by Getty Images
This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Dreaming Of A White Christmas? These 7 Winter Wonderland Destinations Are Perfect For The Holidays
While most people opt for a tropical vacation during the winter months, there are still many people who want to fulfill their winter wonderland fantasies, which are more than likely centered on watching snow by the fireplace while sipping some hot cocoa.
With Thanksgiving vastly approaching and Christmas a little under a month away, there is still time to ditch the traditional Christmas home to visit family or friends.
Whether you’re looking to put a new stamp on your passport and keep things domestic with a destination in the States, xoNecole has you covered with a few hotspots for those itching to go somewhere cold (but with cozy vibes) this holiday season.
Aspen, Colorado
Our Christmas queen, Mariah Carey, has been taking an annual trip to this snowy destination since 1997, just three years after dropping the track that would make her the unofficial (but official to us) ambassador of the winter holiday.
Aside from being a key vacation spot for one of the culture’s greatest musicians, Aspen also offers travelers access to world-class skiing and snowboarding and four distinct mountains that provide the perfect backdrop for a winter vacation.
Whistler, British Columbia, Canada
Home to the largest ski resort in North America, Whistler Blackcomb, this destination is located in the Coast Mountain Range and is about 75 miles north of Vancouver.
From luxury spas like Scandinave Spa Whistler to Olympic Park, this is another top winter vacation spot that offers a unique experience for people who love snow and the thrill of a good adventure.
Western Massachusetts
Dubbed the place for a magical holiday escape, Springfield, Massachusetts, blends the warmth of small-town charm with unforgettable experiences like Grinchmas at Springfield Museums, Winterlights at Naumkeag in Stockbridge, Historic Deerfield’s Winter Frolic, and many others.
This destination offers something for all ages, and it’s close to home, making it all the more reason to place on your radar for a winter getaway.
Rovaniemi, Finland
If you want to really get into the Christmas spirit, this just may be the place for you. As the official home to Saint Nick himself, Rovaniemi, Finland offers reindeer sleigh rides, the opportunity to stay in a glass igloo, as well as an opportunity to experience the Santa Claus Village.
Lake Tahoe, California/Nevada
Who says that visits to the lake house are only reserved for summer vacation? A winter trip to Lake Tahoe is equipped with stunning lake views and top-notch ski resorts, including Heavenly and Northstar.
Chamonix, France
Sitting at the base of Mont Blanc, Chamonix, France, is known for its skiing and mountaineering. This destination is home to the Aiguille du Midi cable car, the charming Alpine village, and is also close to various other European ski destinations.
Northeastern Pennsylvania
This area of the U.S. state is home to the Poconos Mountains, whose renowned ski resorts include Camelback Mountain, Blue Mountain, and Jack Frost Big Boulder. Whether you’re a ski expert, a beginner, or just there for the vibes, this destination makes for a winter vacation that balances fun adventures and cozy getaways. Additionally, Pennsylvania is home to the Christmas Tree Capital of the world.
Feature image by Shutterstock
Originally published on November 23, 2024









