Recently, I read an article on Reader's Digest's site. It was about the 'secret' shenanigans that happen in restaurants. Some included servers lying about broth being vegetarian or about a card being declined just to embarrass customers they consider bad. And it doesn't stop there. The eggs are oftentimes made from a powdered substance. Fish on Sundays and Mondays tend to be the worst (because a lot of restaurants order new fish for the week after Monday). If a diner asks for a complicated drink, a server might say they're out just so they don't have to spend time getting it made.
Those are just the tip of the iceberg. (There are 52 other things featured in the piece if you want to check it out). Yeah, these restaurant incidents are wack, but even with all of that warranted side-eye info, let's not act like we won't probably walk up into a restaurant within the next couple of weeks.
To tell you the truth, if there's something that irks me even more than the list that I read, it's how high a restaurant tab can sometimes be. So, in the hopes of helping you to keep a few extra dollars in your pocket, here are some simple ways to save money when eating out. Hey, at least there can be a silver lining to all of the other ish that sometimes goes down up in those establishments.
Easy Ways To Lower Your Food Bill At Restaurants
1. Look Online Before You Leave
There are benefits to following your favorite restaurants online. Sometimes they list last-minute deals and discounts---ones you wouldn't see elsewhere. About 30 minutes before you head out, check out their Twitter or Instagram to see if you can save a couple of bucks via one of their offers. While you're at it, visit discount sites like Retail Me Not, Eat Drink Deals and Restaurant to see if there are any coupons or promo codes that you can download. Don't be embarrassed to use coupons while eating out. You could literally be throwing money away, and why would you want to do that?
2. Have a Snack Before You Go Too
I'm pretty sure you've heard that if you don't want to spend more money than you should while grocery shopping, you should eat before you go. To tell you the truth, the same tactic applies before you go to your favorite restaurant, too. No one is saying to heat up leftovers or anything. But doing something as simple as munching on a banana, mango or even a little bit of popcorn can help to curve your cravings and prevent you from, as grandma used to put it, having eyes that are bigger than your stomach. (I wonder what you should do beforehand if you want to avoid overspending at Target or Walmart. If you've got a tip, please leave it in the comments).
3. Dine on Specific Days
Not too long ago, I penned a piece on how to make Monday your favorite day of the week. One thing that I suggested was going to happy hour at the top of the week rather than at the end of it. If you're down for a few 2-for-1 drinks early in the week, why not get dinner while you're there?
Typically, restaurants are a little slower on Mondays and Tuesdays which means you can oftentimes find a pretty good deal on an appetizer or even an entrée. Call ahead, just to be sure.
Speaking of days, you should avoid going out to eat on major holidays. Restaurants expect there to be more traffic, so they sometimes will roll out a fixed-price menu. Depending on how hungry you are, that can really start to stack up as opposed to ordering a regular entrée on other days.
4. Inquire About Status Discounts
Restaurants are a business, just like everything else. This means that, more times than not, your server isn't going to volunteer information when it comes to who automatically qualifies for a discount. But if you're a student (with valid ID), a teacher, a part of the military or a senior, sometimes that can earn you as much as 15 percent off of your total bill. (I wish I had known that back when I was in college. Applebee's would've been good and sick of me!)
5. See if the Restaurant Is BYOB
If you're the type of person who can't even imagine having a meal without a glass of wine or some other alcoholic beverage, avoid spending a mint at the restaurant's bar. You can save quite a bit if you head on over to a BYOB restaurant instead. It's not that hard to find one in your area. Use your favorite search engine and type, "BYOB restaurants", along with your city and state and—voila! Food is on them, drinks are on you, and extra money is in your pocket because of it.
6. Have Lunch at Dinner
Not all restaurants offer this option, but if the restaurant allows you to order their lunch portion at dinner, go ahead and do that. If you split an appetizer with a friend and have a drink or two, you're probably going to be fuller than you think. Rather than take a doggy bag home that you might not ever eat, how about spending less moola instead?
Speaking of menu items, pass on the so-called "chef special". More times than not, there's nothing "special" about it, other than the high price or the abundance of a particular item that is about to go bad if the staff doesn't get rid of it. Eww.
7. Look to the Left (No, Seriously)
A lot of times, the most expensive items on a menu are on the right side of it. Ain't this about a trip? Although we mostly read from left to right, what some marketing people have discovered is our eyes will automatically drift over to the right while looking at a menu. That's why some restaurants put the lower-priced items on the left.
You might've never given that much thought until now, but appetizers are typically on the left, right?
8. Nix The 'Extras'
Bottled water. Soda. Dessert. Not only can these kinds of items run up your food tab but—when it comes to bottled water, reading this article here about BPA should make you want to avoid ordering that at all costs. Soda? With all of the sugar and acid is in it, y'all know that it's the devil's drink. As far as dessert goes, you'd be better off foregoing it at the restaurant and picking something up at your local grocery store on the way home. That one slice of cake at your favorite eatery probably costs about the same amount as a whole cake at Kroger's or Publix's. Just sayin'.
9. Get It to Go
A lot of times, while I'm in the mood for a certain restaurant's cuisine, what I don't feel like dealing with is the wait to be seated or the crowds. The way that I avoid all that is to order something to go. If that's how you sometimes feel, you can oftentimes get more bang for your buck if you ask for a larger container for your order. For instance, if you order a small salad but ask for a large to-go carton, they will sometimes fill it to the brim. Or, if you get a burger and ask for a large container, you'll end up with a lot more fries. This might not happen 100 percent of the time, but many servers don't care to be so meticulous that they weigh your food, etc., so it doesn't hurt to ask. It's worked out in my favor many times over.
10. Don’t Forget to Look over Your Bill
There is one person, in particular, who I hate going out to eat with. She is so nitpicky that I feel bad for the server from the very moment they introduce themselves. But if there's one thing that I do appreciate is how thoroughly sis goes through her bill. While I don't think that servers are out here to jack us, they do tend to handle a lot of people at once, so you should never assume that what is printed is automatically right. Look through it, make sure your tab is correct, and then pay. There's no telling how much money we've all thrown out of the window because we failed to be more observant when it comes to this.
Bonus: For You Chipotle Lovers
Lawd, I can't even count how many people in my life are Chipotle fans. That's why I figured I'd do some of you a solid and add a few hacks before you go back to your favorite spot.
- First, more rice is usually on the house.
- If you skip the protein, guacamole doesn't usually cost extra.
- Most establishments won't trip off of you ordering from the kid's menu.
- If you ask for extra chips or taco shells, you've basically just made two meals out of your burrito bowl.
- You can get more meat by opting to have two proteins while placing your order.
- If you're really up for some tacos, order more than two; the unit price tends to go down when you do that.
- Ordering both styles of rice and beans will result in you getting about 90 percent more of both.
- Lastly, if you order a meatless dish, you can save around a dollar per order.
Oh, remember the discounts that I talked about earlier? If you sign up for the app that's on Chipotle's site, not only will they text you last-minute deals, you can also earn points for a free entrée with each order. No need to thank me, it's all good. Eat up and enjoy—for less.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at firstname.lastname@example.org. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
An author by the name of Alexandra Katehakis once said this about orgasms: “Great spiritual teachers throughout the ages have stated that orgasm is the closest some people come to a spiritual experience because of the momentary loss of self. Why is this true? Because with spiritual sex, you move beyond orgasm into a connection with yourself, your partner, and the divine — recognizing them all as one.”
If it’s counterintuitive to what you’ve ever thought about orgasms, believe it or not, there are even pastors who have said that climaxing is the closest comprehension of heaven on this side of it: it is an extreme kind of bliss that is indescribable and is best experienced between two people who share a sacrificial kind of love for one another.
Although this might seem like a heavy way to intro this particular topic, because the O Method is an orgasm-achieving technique that centers around housing energy, embracing the mental practice of manifestation, and the attempt to achieve the best climaxes ever — it all works together pretty well if you ask me. If you want to take your orgasms to the next level, it’s important that you get out of yourself (to a certain extent), that you see the spiritual role that manifestation plays, and that you are open to trying new things. No doubt about it.
So, let’s learn more about what the O Method is all about and how it very well could be just what you’ve been looking for…even if you didn’t know it.
What Is the “O Method” All About?Giphy
Question: When’s the last time you’ve had an orgasm? Not just any orgasm — I mean a really mind-blowing one (I’ll give you a second to think about it). Now, what if you could manifest that experience to the point where it wasn’t a rare occurrence but something that happened almost every time that you and your partner had sex with each other? How absolutely awesome would that be?
That is pretty much what the O Method is all about — helping you achieve the kind of orgasms (and sexual pleasure, in general) that you desire through the practice of manifestation. And since your biggest sex organ is your brain, it would make perfect sense that even with all of the tips and techniques that you might learn to do as far as your body is concerned, honing in on what you think about is super imperative to sexual fulfillment, too. And that’s just where manifestation comes in.
What If You’ve Never “Manifested” Anything Before?Giphy
Before we get into a quick lesson on manifestation, I think it’s important to mention two things. One, for the cynics, there is a lot of truth in the fact that it’s got some solid spiritual basis to it because even the Good Book says that as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). At the same time, that same Good Book tells us that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26). So, while it is always a good idea to focus on good, positive, and productive thoughts, just thinking about them isn’t enough — at some point, you’ve also gotta get out here and DO something (bookmark that).
Okay, with that mini-sermon out of the way, whether it’s in the bedroom or not, manifestation is basically about focusing on something tangible that you desire, harnessing your energy in such a way that your words and actions are directed towards that longing until what you want, well, manifests. For the record, aside from this having a spiritual backing to it, in many ways, science cosigns on manifesting, too. There is actually a scientific process known as neuroplasticity that consists of reframing your mind so that your actions ultimately end up aligning with your goals — and that is another way to look at manifestation.
So, what if you’re someone who has never set out to do a manifestation practice before? No worries. Something that’s awesome about it is there are several different approaches that you can take.
Some people manifest what they want in their lives via:
- Visualization/Creating vision boards
- Writing down their desires before going to bed (so that they can “download” them into their dream state)
- Creating mantras and affirmations
- Applying the 369 Manifestation Method (you can learn more about that here)
- Learning more about what you want to manifest (which brings forth clarity)
This is important to keep in mind because, when it comes to manifesting the types of orgasms that you want to have, as you can see, you can try different manifestation methods until you find one (or ones) that you are truly comfortable with. One that can ease you into the entire process rather smoothly is something known as sex journaling.
How Sex Journaling Can Actually Help You to Have an OrgasmGiphy
As a writer, I’m a big fan of journaling. Mostly because it’s a way to get out some of your deepest thoughts and feelings so that you’re able to really process what is happening inside of you in a private setting. And when it comes to sex journaling, specifically, it’s all about centering yourself on the things sexually that you want to “unpack,” get clarity on or come to some revelations about. For instance, if there’s only been one partner from your past who’s been able to help you achieve the type of orgasms that you wish to manifest, journaling about what makes him different from the other guys can provide you with some solid ah-ha moments.
Or if you need help getting as specific as possible about the sexual experiences that you’re after, journaling can help to make that happen for you — because one thing that manifesting reminds us all to do is be as specific as possible.
Yeah, simply saying, “I want to have better sex” isn’t detailed enough when you want to get your energy to match with your desires — instead, describe how all of your senses should feel in the experience, along with why, that can get you so much closer to achieving your goal. Once those things are documented, you can segue into creating mantras and/or meditation that are based on them. Yeah, sex journaling really is an underrated superpower on a lot of levels (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”).
5 Tips for Making the O Method Work for YouGiphy
Now that you know more about what the O Method is and how manifestation plays a direct role in its process, let’s talk about five ways to make the O Method truly effective in your own (sex) life.
1. Focus, FULLY, on your feminine energy. What do rose quartz, amethyst, moonstone (which is a Gemini birthstone as well; yes, I’m a Gemini), selenite, and rhodonite all have in common? They’re crystals that help you to go deeper into your divine feminine energy. Traits that are associated with this include compassion, creativity, kindness, gentleness, and sensuality (feminine energy is also accepting and forgiving). If you were to study energy from a biological standpoint, it’s about producing change, responding to stimuli, and having the ability to do what needs to be done (work). So, when it comes to manifesting the kind of orgasms or sexual experiences that you want, using things like your creativity and gentleness in your thoughts and actions can play a role in bringing balance to your partner’s masculinity, which can create a profound sense of pleasure — after all, opposites do attract.
2. Don’t hold back on what it is that you desire. Whenever I interview sex therapists, something that they all say is, a huge mistake that people make as far as sexual satisfaction is concerned is, they have walls up — not just with their partners but even within themselves. Sometimes, there is intimidation, fear, or even shame around what they really want to happen during sex to the point where they aren’t able to channel their energy fully in those directions in order to manifest what they want. For the O Method to work, you can’t let those types of negative emotions hinder you; the more you are able to articulate what you want and how you want it, the better chance you have of making it happen. So yes, get graphic. As graphic as possible.
3. Make manifestation a daily practice. Repetition is important when it comes to manifestation. That’s because the more you declare what you desire (a mantra), get still and think on it (meditation), or look at the “art” that you’ve created surrounding it (visualization), the quicker it becomes a part of you. So yes, make manifestation a daily practice. For instance, if one of your mantras is, “I am going to have intensely passionate orgasms, one right after the other,” don’t just state that 15 minutes before sex is going to happen. Wake up and declare it. Then say it on your lunch break. And again before turning in. The more your thoughts are “streamlined” in this way, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. Share this practice with your partner. If you were to do even more research on the O Method, one thing that most of the articles will mention is it’s a practice that you can do alone or with your partner. Indeed. However, I just want to make sure that you get into your psyche that great sex is, in part, about good communication. And so, the more comfortable you are sharing with your partner what you are doing as far as the O Method is concerned and what you ultimately want to happen as a result of the practice, the easier it will be for him to “match your energy” — both in and out of the bedroom. And when your partner is on the same page as you? That definitely increases the chances of attaining your sexual desires — exponentially so.
5. Stay in the moment. While I was reading one article on manifestation, I really appreciated something that the author said: manifestation isn’t some supernatural power. In other words, while it can be beneficial, it’s not like you can just think of something, and it instantly appears out of nowhere. Manifesting is a discipline, and it must be accompanied by action, consistency, and patience — this means that you must also practice mindfulness. Meaning, now that you know better what you’re looking to achieve as far as sex is concerned, every time that it transpires, maintain a level of positive energy, remember what your end goal is, and then determine in your mind to enjoy the moments as they come. Remember, manifestation isn’t to add stress…it’s to cultivate clarity.
At the end of the day, the O Method is simply a way of reminding you that your mind plays a huge role in your sexual pleasure, and when you channel it and your energy exactly where you want them both to go, you’ll be amazed what your body is capable of doing…and accomplishing.
So, what kind of orgasm are you wanting to achieve? You’ve got a tool to get you there. USE IT.
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Featured image by Giphy