

It really doesn't matter what book or article you read, what stats you pay attention to, or which counselor you ask—if you want to know what one ofthe leading causes of divorce is, all sources are going to put poor communication at the top of the list.
That makes perfect sense, right? Something that I tend to say often (because it's something that I think a lot of us typically overlook) is, in order to be in a healthy relationship with another individual, you need to pay attention to the root word of relationship. And that is "relate". To relate is to "to bring into or establish association, connection, or relation" and "to establish a social or sympathetic relationship with a person or thing". There's no way you can do that if you're not able to, well, communicate.
Communicate: to impart knowledge of; make known; to give or interchange thoughts, feelings, information, or the like, by writing, speaking, etc.; to express thoughts, feelings, or information easily or effectively; to be joined or connected.
As amarriage life coach, I think a main reason why a lot of peopleend up divorcing is because, making sure that they both are effective communicators, is something that is not focused on nearly enough prior to jumping the broom. There aren't enough conversations that start off with, "Wait? Can we both impart knowledge in a way that the other is able to receive it? Are we able to interchange and express our thoughts and feelings in a respectable way? After we're done talking, do we both feel more joined and connected than we did prior to having the conversation that we just did?" So if you're single—and to me, it's best to consider yourself single until your tax documents say otherwise; you can spare yourself a lot of unnecessary potential drama if you choose to look at it this way—I encourage you to check this article out along with the married folks.
There are a lot of couples who love each other. Still, they can't seem to make their marriage work or last because they haven't been able to figure out how to effectively communicate. And that's due to some of the communication missteps that I've listed below.
1. Nagging
OK, so which do y'all want first? The Word or a crazy article that's centered around this very topic? My gut says go with the Bible Scripture first so, here it is—"It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop [on the flat oriental roof, exposed to all kinds of weather] than in a house shared with a nagging, quarrelsome, and faultfinding woman." (Proverbs 21:9—AMPC) Listen, the only way to be triggered by a verse like this is if it somehow applies. I don't know about you, but I've been around nagging women; I've also had times when I've been one. Both sides of the coin are exhausting, so I get where King Solomon was coming from. Now the article. Ready for the title? "I was arrested and locked up for NAGGING my husband: Her marriage became national news when she was thrown in a cell after demanding her other half vacuum the house."
If there's one thing that husbands constantly tell me tops the list of irritants in their marriage, it's being nagged by their wife. I can see why too. Being nagged feels patronizing, condescending and low-key controlling. It's what makes someone feel like a child rather than an adult. And if what you're about to say in response to that is, "Well, when he acts like a child, I treat him like one", in the words of Dr. Phil, "So, how is that working for you?"
If you know nagging is something you could stand to do less of, gift your marriage with a copy ofLove & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and/or check outthis episode of the podcast How Married Are You? that touches on ways to show your husband respect. Although I get why nagging can sometimes be a temptation (like when your man doesn't do something in the time frame that you would like him to), if you stop and pay attention to yourself when you do it, it really is like a verbal version of Chinese water torture. Plus, it tends to breed resentment within your husband more than anything else. Trust me, I've heard that, from many men, more than once.
2. Making Assumptions
A wise person once said, "Don't assume your partner knows about everything you expect in a relationship. Let him know. A relationship should be based on communication, not on assumption." Something that I respect a lot about healthy marriages is the daily surrender that couples make to not try and turn their spouse into a version of themselves. A quote that I say often is by a professional drag racer (among others) by the name of Larry Dixon—"If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary." Translation—you didn't get married to be with a carbon copy of yourself; you got married to someone who will help you to mature and grow. Sometimes, that requires a complete opposite of you (if you're a Christian, some pastors speak pretty eloquently on that very pointhere).
What does all of this even remotely have to do with making assumptions? Well, when it comes to the assumptions that a lot of couples make, what is it oftentimes rooted in? Assuming that your spouse thinks in the same way that you do or that they will operate in the fashion that you do. They are not you. The only way to be sure that you and yours are on the same page is to voice your needs or concerns—and then to get clarity they agree with you.
A lot of marriages suffer due to one or two people who are constantly making assumptions rather than openly communicating. If you make a point to break this one habit alone, you'll be doing your relationship a world of good.
3. Giving the Silent Treatment
It's one thing to need some time to cool off after an argument or to even request a day or two to process a request or some information that you received. But if the silent treatment is all about pouting or grudge-holding, hopefully you just read that line and saw how childish that counterproductive approach can be.
Personally, I think one of the things that I hate the most about this "strategy" is 1) it wastes time and 2) it's also based upon a lot of assumption. While you're out here not speaking to your spouse for 3-4 days at a time, you're assuming that tomorrow is promised. Not only that but the silent treatment is a weird form of crying wolf because, if your partner gets used to you handling issues that way, sooner or later, your silence won't be jarring; it might actually become welcomed and preferred.
Using silence like it's a tug of war in a battle tends to be ineffective, for the most part. So, after cooling down, try and initiate conversation. The sooner things can be worked through, the better off your marriage will be.
4. Talking over the Other Person
I recently watchedan episode of T.I./Tip's podcast ExpediTIously featuring his wife Tameka "Tiny" Harris. Let me just say that the comments were about as interesting as the podcast itself. Although there were definitely moments in the episode that were entertaining, I've got to agree with the commenters—T.I. needed to let his wife talk more. He was cutting her off…a lot. My objective opinion is that he wasn't doing it intentionally or maliciously; he just seemed to really enjoy listening to his own self speak. A lot of us are like that—thinking we're out here having dialogues when they are really monologues.
When it comes to this particular communication faux pas, I'll be the first one to raise my hand in this class and say that God has been looking out for my future husband. How? By making sure that I remained single until I stopped being so eager to get out what I want to say that I also end up cutting off people in the process. I have learned—oh, how I have learned—that one of the best ways to be a good communicator is to listen to what others are saying and then allow them to complete their thoughts. It's even better to take listening up a notch by choosing to process what they shared before responding; if a response is needed/required at all.
When we cut someone off, it's pretty rude. We're basically conveying, "Shut up. What I have to say is far more important." Does that sound like the kind of approach you should take in order for your marriage to flourish?
5. Throwing the Past Up in Each Other’s Face
Not too long ago, I wrote a piece on here entitled "Are You A 'Bad Forgiver'? Read This And See." One sign that you are bad at forgiving is if you continue to live in the past. One way of living in the past is constantly referring to something your spouse did; something that you both already talked through and you've claimed to let go. When it comes to the couples that I have worked with, if there is something that has created quite the wedge between several of them, it's when one of them does something wrong (or even just irritating), their partner claims that all is forgiven, only to throw it up in their face the very next time they do something wrong (or irritating).
When you profess to forgive someone, a part of what you're saying is you're willing to release what happened so that trust can be restored. When you bring it back up, that means you didn't tell the truth and that can make your spouse feel uncomfortable and on edge around you. Why? Because all of us do things that we're not proud of. And, none of us can really heal and move forward, when someone keeps throwing that we've done back at us like it's ammo or something.
This is why I always say that if you're single and you suck at forgiveness, you've got absolutely no business getting married. Because if there is something that you will have to learn to master, almost on a daily basis, it's how to pardon offenses and let ish go. For real, for real go.
6. Being a Know-It-All
One of my friend's husbands. Ugh. He is such a know-it-all. He's that kind of guy who, when you tell him something that he doesn't agree with, he'll email you a long list of stats to disprove your point. Or, when she makes a decision that he doesn't agree with, he'll go behind her to see if she could've done it another way. She just recently told me that they had an argument about postage because he didn't believe what the post office told her. Know-it-alls come off as being mad arrogant. But if you scratch beneath the surface, more times than not, they couldn't be more insecure. They are out here trying to be a walking dictionary, encyclopedia, spiritual book, search engine and sensei, all rolled into one, basically because they need the validation that they are esteemed and valued.
It takes a lot of insight into another person to be able to pick that up, though. And since know-it-alls are so exhausting, they require tons of tolerance too. Before long, folks stop listening and don't really want to hear anything that a know-it-all has to say. Hmph. Talk about a serious breakdown in communication. Besides, what kind of award is given out for being right all of the time? Wouldn't you prefer that your partner actually like being around you than you "winning" all of the time? If you don't,make an appointment with a therapist, quick fast and in a hurry. Your marriage is in a lot more trouble than you probably think that it is. Because it's hard to like a know-it-all; no matter how much you might love them.
7. Having Horrific Timing
Really. When does bad timing ever work? You know that your spouse is in a bad mood, but for some strange reason, you think that then is the time to talk about the problems in your relationship. Or, you know that your spouse has a big project coming up, but while they are working, you want to gripe about your in-laws. There really is no telling how many arguments could be spared if husbands and wives were simply more sensitive when it comes to timing. All timing requires is paying attention to your spouse's words and body language, and then applying patience when it comes to deciding when it is a good time to bring something up…or not.
Speaking of timing, something that I think men and women, in general, could stand to work on, is how they approach each other at the end of the work day. A husband once told me that a man has to mentally "shift gears" from work to home. I believe the same thing applies to wives. So, rather than hitting your spouse at the door with all that needs to be done, how about giving them 20-30 minutes of space in order to "recalibrate" from what was going on at the office to what is needed in the house? This is one tip that can be really effective when it comes to applying good timing in communication.
8. Not Being “Tone Sensitive”
Hey, take it how you wanna, but there are plenty of articles out in cyberspace that co-sign on the fact that men are quite sensitive to tone. Two that immediately come to mind are "No, Women's Voices Are Not Easier to Understand Than Men's Voices" and "Healthy Living: Study says guys naturally can't hear women's voices". If you're curious about why this is the case, according to science, due to our higher register and the more melodic tones in our voice (speaking and otherwise), men have to tap into a different part of their brain in order to fully decipher what we are saying. So, if while you're talking, your man asks you to repeat himself, there's a good chance that he's not ignoring you; he literally didn't pick up on all that you were saying.
Which makes this a good public service reminder that, when it comes to healthy communication, indeed, it is not just about what we say but how we say it. Yelling or screaming not only raises the tension in a conversation but it can cause an even further breakdown in relaying thoughts, ideas and needs. Like it or not, science says so.
9. Talking to Others Before Each Other
I know it's such a controversial topic. "It" being if your spouse should be your best friend or not. But let me offer up a perspective for why my vote is "yes". Do you remember that scene in the movie Brown Sugar when Dre quit his job and he told Sidney about it first? Not his wife Reese; his best friend Sidney. Do you also recall how offended Reese was about that? Remember how, when she finally confronted Sidney about her and Dre's intimacy that she said that she had to fight for all of the information that Sidney already knew? Reese didn't imply she thought that Dre and Sidney were having sex. No, she was threatened by something else—emotional intimacy.
Now, please hear me when I say that I am not the person who thinks that, once you get married, your spouse should be your all and everything. That's not a partner; that is an idol. Of course, you should have friends (if there are healthy boundaries and mutual respect, this includesfriends of the opposite sex). But when you signed up for marriage, you signed up for your spouse to be a true partner and confidante. This means that, unless you are going to someone else first about a marital issue so that you can get a clear and healthy perspective, you really should talk to your spouse before anyone else when it pertains to things that are about them or things that will directly impact y'all's relationship.
No one gets married in order for their spouse's friends to be all up in their business. Anyone who believes otherwise is setting themselves up to either have a partner who doesn't share everything or ends up building up walls due to a lack of trust. Neither of these are good outcomes.
10. Hitting Below the Belt
To me, one of the most beautiful things about marriage is you've committed your life to someone who knows the good, bad and ugly about you. The challenge in marriage is being mature enough to not weaponize the bad and ugly, just to prove a point or "win" an argument. Bottom line, whoever came up with that "sticks and stones" statement is a liar. Words do hurt, and sometimes the wounds last much longer than we think that they will.
So, no matter how much your spouse gets on your nerves or totally pisses you off, never go so low that it attacks their vulnerabilities, self-image or fears. You are supposed to be a safe place for them. You are supposed to be the one who they can communicate any and everything without getting damaged in the process. Always remember that.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
The Signs Of A Truly Intimate Relationship
10 Married Couples Share The Keys To Their Totally Off-The-Chain Sex Life
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Luxury Hairstylist On Viral 'Hey Boo' Texts & Professionalism In The Hair Industry
As Black women, our hair is our crowning glory - whether we paid for it or not. We take pride in how we wear and take care of our hair. As with everything, hair care and hair styling have evolved over the years. Long gone are the days of Blue Magic (although I hear it’s making a comeback).
Now, we have a plethora of creams, oils, conditioners, shampoos, and stylists to choose from. Beyond wearing our natural curls, we have a range of options, from wigs and sew-ins to tape-ins, I-tips, and K-tips. So much choice! But you know what they say about too much of a good thing...
The Black hair industry has definitely blossomed in the last decade with a wave of new stylists and salons popping up all over the place. As much as I love that for us, many of these stylists have become the subjects of viral TikTok and Instagram tirades because of their alleged questionable behavior and bizarre rules.
Excessive policies, strange fees, long wait times, poor performance, and the infamous “Hey boo” texts. Beauty is pain, they say… xoNecole got to the root of these issues with luxury hair extensionist Dee Michelle, who’s been in the hair game for 20 years and runs a seven-figure business - all while being a mom of four.
Antonio Livingston
“I started my business with my career in the hair industry [at] very, very young age when I was maybe like eight...So, over the years, I've just built a very successful seven-figure business very quickly just by offering high-end services and creating great experiences for my clients, many of whom are high-profile professionals,” she said. “I'm also a mother of four, including a set of triplets, which inspires me daily to show what's possible with my hard work and focus.”
Dee’s business has gone viral on social media because of what many call outrageous prices for her invisible K-Tip installs.
“When I developed my invisible K-tip extensions technique, I made sure that it wasn't just about the hair or the style, but about providing a high-end experience from start to finish. So, my clients just aren't paying for the extensions or just the style itself, but they're investing into my meticulous, seamless craft and premium hair sourced from the best suppliers…I've spent so many hours mastering my craft, creating this seamless method that gives my clients long-lasting natural results, and my pricing just reflects that - the value of my expertise and the exclusivity of the service.”
The K-tip specialist stands on business when it comes to catering to her clients and giving them an experience worth the cost.
“And it's just important for me to also say that my clients are high-profile individuals who value quality, their privacy, and their time. They want a service that fits into their lifestyle and their time. They want things that deliver perfection. And I deliver that every single time.”
I’m sure we’ve all seen the various TikTok rants about people’s nightmare experiences with stylists and uttered a silent “FELT!” We asked Dee her opinion on a few nightmare scenarios that beg the response, “please be so forreal."
On stylists charging extra to wash clients’ hair:
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
“I think they should just include it in the price, to be honest. Because I feel like when clients go to a stylist, they're expecting you to wash their hair. Personally, if I see that washing is extra, I just wouldn't go to the salon because it just shows a lack of professionalism, in my opinion, and a lack of experience.”
On ‘deposits’ that don’t go towards the cost of the service:
“I think that's kind of weird, too, for deposits to not be like a part of the service. I've seen people have booking fees and I just don't understand it, to be honest. I disagree with that kind of policy…By all means, people should do what works for them, but to me, it doesn't make sense. Why does somebody have to pay a fee just to book an appointment with you? I don't get it. It feels like exploitation.”
On stylists charging extra to style (straighten/curl) wigs, sew-ins etc., after installing:
“I don't get it. Clients come to us to get their hair done, to get it styled. So why is it extra for you to style it? If you're going to charge extra, just increase your price. I feel like it could be just a lack of confidence in those stylists, feeling like people won't pay a certain price for certain things, or just their lack of professionalism as well, because people are coming to us to get styled.”
On the infamous “Hey boo” text stylists send to clients when they need to cancel/reschedule:
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
“Professionalism in any industry, especially the beauty industry, is everything. So texting a client the, “Hey boo” is so unprofessional, and it's damaging to the client-stylist relationship. Clients book their appointments expecting a level of respect and care, especially when they're investing their time and money and a service. And I get it, emergencies happen, we're all humans. However, it should be done with a formal apology and a clear explanation.”
We know all too well what kinds of things will keep us from ever gracing certain hairstylists’ chairs with our butts again. So, what should hairstylists do to provide a good service to their clients? What is good hairstylist etiquette?
“For one, being on time is an important rule for stylist etiquette. It's just not okay to require your clients to be on time, and you're not on time. Also, communication. Being able to communicate clearly, respectfully, and professionally, whether that's in person, via text, or on social media. Style is etiquette. Appearance matters. So just maintaining a clean, polished, and professional look. Clients respect you more whenever your appearance reflects your work. There's just so many things, but another thing I would say is active listening. So, being able to pay close attention to what your client wants and also clarifying any questions that they might have. Just to ensure that they feel heard and to minimize any misunderstandings.”
Dee also shared some red flags to look out for when considering a new stylist.
“Even me as a client, if I'm booking somebody and they have a long list of rules, I don't even book with them. That's, for one, just such a huge turn-off. Also, stylists who have inconsistent or unclear pricing, that's a red flag. People who change their rates too much without an explanation. Poor communication. So, if a stylist is responding very slow or responding unprofessionally, or giving vague answers to questions, that can make clients question whether or not they are respecting their time and their needs.
Another red flag - an inconsistent or low quality portfolio. And I feel like, I see this a lot with stylists stealing other people's work, and their portfolio on social media is just very inconsistent.”
We couldn’t let Dee go without getting the tea on what styles she predicts will trend in 2025.
“I feel like people are going back to natural-looking styles. So, a lot of people are ditching the wigs, the lace fronts, things like that. People are still wearing them, of course, but it is becoming more of a trend to embrace your natural hair and something that's not looking too fake. That’s one thing that we're going to be seeing a lot. I would say a lot of layers are coming back, heavy layers. Those are becoming really, really trendy. And people are leaning more towards platinum-colored hair. I've been seeing lots of like blondes coming out. Also, jet black is always going to be a trend. But I would say more like natural colors, but natural colors that are still making a statement.”
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Feature image by Antonio Livingston.
One of my favorite things to do is kiss. In fact, kissing is so important to me that I once stayed with someone longer than I should’ve, in part, because he was such a good kisser (to the point where I can confirm that “kissing orgasms” are a real thing) and I also once broke up with someone because he absolutely sucked at kissing (ugh). Kissing is sexy. Kissing is sensual. Kissing is intimate.
And science says that kissing can boost endorphin levels in your body; reduce feelings that are associated with stress and anxiety; elevate your immunity; help to lessen allergy-related symptoms; soothe headaches and period cramp discomfort; make you horny (yes, literally), and even decrease your chances of getting cavities.
Yes, kissing is a good thing. A really good thing.
Oh, but as someone who is turning out to be one of my favorite philosophers (Aristotle) once said, the excess of a virtue can indeed turn into a vice — and as far as kissing is concerned, that can prove itself to be true in a way that some may have thought was nothing more than an urban myth: getting STIs (sexually transmitted infections)/STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) from doing it.
Yep, if you heard somewhere that you can get an STI/STD from puckering up, there is indeed some truth to that, so please take a moment to read more about it. That way, you can finally separate fact from fiction.
Bottom Line, Yes…You Can. However, the Risks Are Relatively Low.
Honestly, if you let it sink in that a kiss that lasts for longer than 10 seconds will result in about 80 million bacteria being exchanged, that alone should cause it to make all of the sense in the world that a kiss isn’t something that should be taken as casually as a lot of people do. And although, when it comes to STIs/STDs, it is far easier to transmit them through penetrative or oral sex, the reality is that there are some that can you get via saliva or the mucous membranes that are in your mouth (although infected saliva that is on something like a sex toy makes your chances much lower because STIs/STDs tend to “deactivate” once they are exposed to the air).
And since “low probability” doesn’t mean “absolutely not,” I think we should look into which STIs/STDs could become an issue whenever you go in for a smooch vs. the ones that you don’t really have to concern yourself with at all.
The STIs/STDs That You CAN Get from Kissing
So, here’s the deal: If you happen to have a cut in your mouth or you’ve got a cold sore, that can significantly increase your chances of being exposed to an STI/STD if your partner happens to have one. Which ones am I speaking of specifically?
- Herpes (more specifically, HSV-1)
- Syphilis
- Cytomegalovirus (CMV)
- Human Papillomavirus (HPV)
Now something that’s important to keep in mind about three out of four of these (herpes, CMV, and HPV), is that, although they are very treatable, they currently don’t have a cure. As far as the one that does have one (syphilis), it’s important that it’s discovered and treated in its early stages; otherwise, it can lead to things like weight and hair loss, infertility and, if ignored for too long, it can even become life-threatening.
I don’t know about y’all but, to me, this all sounds like valid enough reasons to be cautious when it comes to who you share your mouth with.
The STIs/STDs That You CAN’T Get from Kissing
Okay, so what STIs/STDs does science say you don’t have to worry about when you’re kissing someone?
- Chlamydia
- Gonorrhea
- Hepatitis
- Trichomoniasis
- HIV
- Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID)
The reason why is because these are all things that are spread through oral, anal, or vaginal sex acts (however, they can oftentimes be asymptomatic, so if you are sexually active, please make sure to get tested no less than once a year). That said, if you do happen to have one of these STIs/STDs, please show courtesy and respect to your partner by letting them know — even if sex isn’t currently on the table for you.
Although research does indeed say that kissing doesn’t put them at risk, they still have the right to decide if they want to move forward with intimacy, of any kind, while these health-related issues are being treated.
5 Ways to Reduce Your Chances of Getting an STI/STD from Kissing
Okay, so now that you can confidently separate what you should actually know (and take to heart) from what you may have randomly heard that couldn’t be further from the truth, if you’re curious about what you can do to decrease your chances of getting an STI/STD from kissing, I’ve got a few tips:
Take kissing seriously. Grandma said don’t put your mouth everywhere and she’s right. In a world that continually tries to gaslight us into thinking that we can (and damn near should) just do whatever with whoever without consequence, as you can see, that’s simply not true — especially when you take into account how wild it is that most of the STIs/STDs that you can get from kissing don’t have a cure.
Moral to this story: Your mouth is as valuable as every other part of your body. It is a privilege to kiss it, so please act accordingly. Oh, and don’t be afraid to ask about people’s sexual health status before letting them put their tongue all up and in your mouth. You know what they say — an ounce of prevention is always gonna be worth a pound of cure (or treatment).
Practice intentional oral hygiene. Hopefully, brushing and flossing on a daily basis are a given. What I mean here is you should look for signs of cold sores, cuts, or lesions in your mouth (including a blister that you may get from a burned tongue) on a weekly basis. If any of these are evident in you or your partner, it’s best to wait to kiss (if you haven’t BOTH recently been tested).
Y’all be careful with all of the sexy biting. Speaking of open wounds (relatively speaking, anyway), although I once read that, according to the Kama Sutra, biting lips while kissing is a sign of strong desire and sexual arousal, it can also leave cuts that could make you more vulnerable to getting sick. So, on this one, enter with caution. Straight up.
Don’t kiss when you’re feeling under the weather. Mono, colds and the flu, COVID-19, stomach viruses — these are some of the other things that you and your partner can give to one another while exchanging a kiss. Since some of the symptoms that are related to these may mimic some that come from an STI/STD, it’s best to not kiss when you are sick — not until you can confirm what you have and (preferably) the symptoms have passed.
Get tested on a regular basis. The only way that you are going to know for sure that kissing is a low-risk behavior for you and your partner is if you both get tested. If you’d prefer to do it from the comfort, convenience, and privacy of your own home, there are STI/STD tests that you can have sent to you (like the ones here, here, and here). They aren’t necessarily the cheapest in the world, yet they are pretty darn accurate and can give you the peace of mind that you seek.
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Listen, I am Team Kissing just as much as the next person. However, whenever I stop to think about all that goes on in a mouth, I thought it was important that you become aware as well. As I said earlier, a good kiss is pretty incomparable. Let’s all just make sure that we leave kisses better and not worse off after experiencing them — literally and figuratively.
Amen? I’m sayin’.
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