With the holidays fast approaching, I am sure I’m not the only person still in need of a quality gift for a friend or relative. Listed below is a holiday gift guide with all items for sale at The Sistah Shop. In case you are unaware, The Sistah Shop is a Black woman-owned shop that sells products sourced from Black women entrepreneurs. So, not only are you checking a name off your gift list, but you are financially supporting the longevity of a Black woman-owned business because Black businesses matter.
The Sistah Shop has two brick-and-mortar locations: The Mills at Jersey Gardens Mall in Elizabeth, New Jersey, and Atlantic Station in Atlanta, Georgia, or you can visit their online shop, SIBexposhop.com. The shop features twelve categories with collectively over four hundred items to choose from. The gift guide below is sure to offer products for any gender and age in your family or friend group. Happy shopping!
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Whatever the case, TikTok is making sure we have everything we need to "lock in" for the rest of the year. Heralded as "The Great Lock In," TikTok's latest wellness trend is the collective reset designed to transform your life by December.
If you've been seeing the phrase pop up on your FYP, here's a quick breakdown of The Great Lock-In and how you can make the rising wellness trend work for you.
What Is The Great Lock In?
The Great Lock In Wellness Trend, Explained.
TikTok creators define "The Great Lock In" as a 17-week journey, taking place from September 1 to December 31. Think of it as a not-so-distant relative to the wellness trend concepts of 75 Hard/75 Soft or last year's viral Winter Arc. The Great Lock In is all about re-programming your mind to reprogram your life.
As one TikTok creator, @_tatianaforbes explained in her TikTok, "It's all programming your mind to go hard for a sprint of time. It's not meant to be forever. But it's meant to be this time where you put forth immense effort in some area of your life."
That area could be your finances, fitness, sleep habits, or even your personal style. And while The Great Lock In is framed as a "sprint," the true W is establishing the powerful habits you build along the way, the ones that shift your mindset, setting the tone for your physical or mental transformation. The name of the game is focus. And what you focus on, you magnify, creating space for radical change that feels bigger than your average glow-up.
@_tatianaforbes/TikTok
The Great Lock In Rules
The Rules of Engagement
So how does one lock in to The Great Lock In? The concept itself might sound intense, but the rules of engagement are more straightforward than you'd think. If you're ready to commit, here are some of the most common "rules" TikTok creators like @silkx.co are swearing by during this end of the year sprint:
- 90 days of pure discipline
- Wake up by 5 a.m.
- Go to bed by 9 p.m.
- Work out 5-6 times a week
- Take 10,000 steps daily
- Read 10 pages of a book daily
- Drink 3 liters of water daily
- Max protein intake goals daily
- Write 3 things you're grateful for
- No fast food
- No sugar
- No alcohol
- No excuses
- Eliminate distractions
- Focus on yourself
@silkx.co/TikTok
How To Make The Great Lock In Work For You
You don't have to do all of the rules of The Great Lock In to see results by December 31. We want to level up and thrive, not burnout in survival mode. Yes, this is a 17-week sprint to transformation, but it doesn't mean you have to box yourself in self-improvement hell. Like author James Clear reminds us in the ultimate self-development book, Atomic Habits, "All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision. But as that decision is repeated, a habit sprouts and grows stronger."
TikTok creator @cloudsjoo echoes this approach to transformation, encouraging small, sustainable shifts versus a complete life overhaul from day one. Maybe you build toward 10,000 steps a day by starting off with a 30-minute walk per day. Or if you're rule is no fast food (physical) or no eating out (financial), a small step could look like cooking more meals at home each week and leaning more on meal prep.
The beauty of The Great Lock In lies in its flexibility. It's a framework for building systems that actually fit into your life long-term. Locking in doesn't mean perfection, it means commitment. It's choosing yourself through consistency and trusting that those small steps will lead to the glow-up you've been envisioning for your life.
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Oh, but women can get it too, though. First, whenever I see/hear a woman say that men don’t cry as much as they do because they lack emotional intelligence — umm, science says that men having more testosterone and less prolactin are the actual reasons. And men not being in a rush for marriage because they are low-key commitment-phobes? Well, it’s mighty interesting how an overwhelming amount of ladies don’t want to go 50/50 on bills, and yet they think it’s a red flag when a guy isn’t ready to be a full-time provider at 30.
And that last thing is what we’re going to tackle today. You know, last summer, I wrote an article entitled, “The (Dating) Delusion Calculator. Let's Discuss.” Why? It’s because, while an overwhelming amount of women dream of having a man who makes six-figures and is six-feet tall, only 15 percent of men in the US are 6’ or over and less than 20 percent make over $100K (check out “Okay, So Here's What You Need To Know About The '6-6-6' Man”)— and even to do that, you’d be amazed what age most of them have to be.
A poet by the name of William Langland once said that patience is a virtue — and y’all, if a wealthy man is what you so desire, you might have to put yourself in the mindset of “quietly and steadily persevering or diligent, especially in detail or exactness” and “bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, delay, hardship, pain, etc., with fortitude and calm and without complaint, anger, or the like" more or longer than you might think — or you may need to marry someone older.
Keep reading and I’ll explain why…
When Men Hit Their Financial Peak. It’s Later than Many Think.
GiphyNow, before we get into the technicalities of this thing, let me just say that even though damn near every woman on Kendra G’s online dating show says that they want a six-figure man, please don’t assume that automatically means that someone is rolling in the dough. In fact, earlier this year, I read an article which had this headline: “Where is six figures considered low income? Try Orange, Santa Barbara and San Diego counties” (SMDH). It’s also important to keep in mind that “hitting a peak” doesn’t automatically mean rich or wealthy — it’s simply the age when someone has the ability to earn the most money in their lifetime.
THAT SAID, from what I’ve semi-briefly read and researched, if you want to be with a guy once he is at the pinnacle of his earnings — dun, dun, dun, dun — you are looking for him to be in his mid-late 40s or early 50s.
A literal quote: “According to compensation research firm PayScale, full-time workers with Bachelor’s degrees tend to make the most money in their 40s and 50s.” Another article which backs it: “Men hit their peak-earning age 11 years later than women, at 55 versus 44…The PayScale study found that [B]lack men reach their peak earning at age 59 with a median salary of $80,000, while white men hit their peak four years earlier making $104,100.”
Oh, and then if you REALLY want a reality check, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics: “Median weekly earnings $1,227 for men, $1,021 for women, first quarter 2024.”
Okay, so if you put all of this together, seems to me that if you’re like I am and you prefer Black men (by the way, another FACT is Black men prefer us back), if you want someone who makes well over the average income, you would need to select a man who is in his 50s — because a man in his mid-20s to mid-30s makes around $46K, a man in his mid-30s to mid-40s makes close to $60K (on average). And you know what a lot of this comes down to? A man who does make it into the “$100K club,” he has to go above and beyond to make that happen.
This means that you should also keep in mind that peak finances speaks to earning potential more than anything else (which is why some reports state that the average peak salary for a man clocks at $95K by the age of 53 while the average peak salary for women is $61K around the age of 41).
So yeah, if a man in his 30s seems more interested in fulfilling purpose and stacking cash, he actually has science on his side for why that is a bigger priority of long-term commitment and marriage — at least as far as his finances are concerned.
Hey, but you don’t have to take my word (and news articles) on it…
5 Men Speak on How They Prioritize Financial Wealth When It Comes to Relationships
GiphyWhile I was in the process of creating this content, I decided to ask some men to share their thoughts on how money and relationships line up in their own world. Here’s what five of them had to say.
1. Daniel. 32. Single. “I think it’s wild how women will talk about how much men are scared of commitment and then turn around and say that they don’t want to go 50/50. Damn y’all, pick a team because, if you want a man to take care of you, that’s not cheap and it takes time. No amount of pressure on Instagram, from my mama or anywhere else is going to get me to get into something serious until I am ready. ‘Ready’ for me includes knowing that I can carry a household. That will take as long as it needs to.”
2. Rashad. 25. Dating. “My uncles have always told me that I shouldn’t worry about getting into a serious relationship until my 30s. I think that is solid advice because, right now, it’s about focusing on my career and figuring out what I want the rest of my life to look like. I’m not surprised that a man doesn’t make the kind of money that he really wants to until his 40s or 50s. What I think is crazy is how consumed a lot of women are with money and they don’t know that.”
3. Talon. 48. In a Serious Relationship. “I’ve been making six figures for about 12 years at this point. I don’t talk about it with the women I date because it’s none of their business. Not until I’m engaged should my finances be any of your concern and it wasn’t until I turned 45 that I made the decision to date seriously. It’s not just about how much money you make but if you’ve made investments, you have a good amount of savings and if you can handle life should you lose your job or your tax bracket changes. For me to feel confident in these spaces, it took me until I was about 40 — and then I wanted to enjoy it as a single man for a few years. Sue me.”
4. Creede. 43. Engaged. “My now-fiancée and I are both entrepreneurs. Anyone who’s one knows that it takes a lot of sacrifice. When I realized that I wanted her to be my life mate, I took a couple of years to invest into her company. Now that it is where it needs to be, I feel like we are both ready for marriage. I didn’t want to just have my finances in a good place — I wanted to be where we both weren’t stressed out and the moment that I knew that she was ‘the one,’ that’s when I made the decision to financially pour into her. By the way, she wanted that over an expensive engagement ring which further confirmed how much I wanted her to be my wife. She’s financially savvy just like I am.”
5. Faraji. 50. Married. “These kids know nothing about reciprocity. If you really believe that marriage is about partnership and two people building something wonderful together — get married early. There is nothing wrong with that. But yes, if you want a ready-made financial situation, these ladies are going to have to wait. Rome wasn’t built in a day and a man’s financial stability wasn’t either.
___
It was former President of the United States, John Adams who once said, “Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence” — and the fact here is, if you want to well-off man, he’s probably not gonna be that straight out of college or even at 35.
Either wait or adjust.
Yep, talk about a real reality check.
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