Bold statements allow us, as Black women, to affirm ourselves, be sure we are heard, and let the world know we are to be loved and acknowledged. They unite us, spark healthy discourse, and allow us to build community in a way only we can.
"I'm Black and I'm proud."
"Reclaiming my time."
"My Black is beautiful."
These are all rallying cries of pride and joy, and for entrepreneur Bianca Kathryn, one bold statement is helping to enhance the conversations around what it means to be a Black woman of richly diverse cultures and experiences. As an Afro-Latina whose father is African-American and whose mother is Mexican-American, she's adding her own unique perspective to the global narrative, telling the story of millions of other women who can tap into both their Hispanic and African heritage through Yo Soy AfroLatina, a brand that offers apparel, accessories and mugs.
The foundational premise of her company speaks volumes in the way of empowering Black women in the Hispanic community, with products that feature prominent sayings like, "Mija, I'm busy," and imagery that encompasses what it means to be a woman at an intersection of cultures.
Launched in New York in 2017 as a "passion project," Kathryn got serious about expanding Yo Soy AfroLatina into a viable e-commerce business in 2020. She's now been able to not only grow the company's community on Instagram to more than 16,000 followers, but also curate a website where she offers more products that are relatable, practical, and fun.
"I was on my journey of learning more about Afro-Latinas. It was just really learning more about my identity, especially as I was coming into myself as a Black Latina woman," she says. "It’s one thing to grow into your identity in having your parents around you, but as I left for college and left my home state [to pursue] my career, I was having all these new experiences, which really ignited something in me to learn more about my culture. I created this small collection of T-shirts, hats, and mugs and all of it was basically phrases or things that pertain to my culture in some way or another."
In the beginning, she adds, she had no intention of turning it all into a business, and she'd juggled her day job working in social media marketing for a major TV powerhouse while self-funding to scale. "I love mugs and I love coffee—and that’s a part of our culture—so, I wanted to come up with phrases and statement pieces that could not only spark conversation but empower you at the same time," she adds. "I was just having fun with it. When I realized the impact of what I was doing, I said, ‘Okay, I think I need to shift my gears a bit and I need to put on my business hat and transfer this passion project into a small business. I had that epiphany around the start of the pandemic and ever since then I’ve pivoted my approach."
Kathryn says many of her personal experiences related to culture and identity as an Afro-Latina have informed her passion for continuing to promote support and sisterhood for Afro-Latina women, starting from her roots in Detroit, to her time working in New York, to spending time in Los Angeles, to today, having a base in Houston. She's had the opportunity to navigate personal and professional growth in several major cities that have large, influential Hispanic communities. Along the way, she's flourished in that journey, one that includes seeing how stereotypes can be perpetuated and how oftentimes, people can create a certain vision of what they believe a Latina woman should be or embody.
“It’s interesting having those experiences with your own people," she says. "I have to remind some that the Latina community comes in so many shades and colors. We have different hair textures and body types that you really cannot tell me if I’m Latina or not simply because of what your family looks like or what you see on TV.
"We are not a monolith. I think with the help of social media, a lot of people have slowly learned what a true representation of a Latina looks like. And we’re still learning."
For Kathryn, continuing to represent, not only via her brand but through her speaking engagements and social platform, is all about remembering her mission to provide a space for Afro-Latinas to feel welcomed, loved, and seen.
"To be an entrepreneur in 2022 means you just don’t give up," she says. "I think to be an entrepreneur nowadays is staying focused and not easily getting distracted by what you see on social and what your competitors are doing—staying close to your brand and your vision as to why you created your business. That’s what I try to do every day."
For more of Bianca Kathryn, follow her on Instagram @biancakathryn_.
Featured image courtesy of Bianca Kathryn
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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