Ask Ayana Iman: I Feel Like a Waste of Potential
Ask Ayana Iman: I am 24 years old. I just graduated from college with my B.A. in sociology. I have many dreams, goals, and ideas that I can never see to fruition.
I'm really into social justice and policy. Ultimately, I'd like to have my 9 to 5 based in the field of social research for the purposes of policy-making. However, I don't have much experience. I did hold two internship positions throughout college but they're not adequate—at least not to me. Right now, I'm searching for a job that is not retail, so that I can feel better about spending all this time and money in college. I want to go back to school but my college career was not my best. I know I want to go to grad school and grad school is one of the best ways to increase my marketability in the job world, but my GPA from my undergrad years is extremely low, so I am very hesitant about even applying to any schools. And whenever I apply for a job sometimes, I see that they have a GPA requirement. And it just makes me feel even worse, because I know I am extremely competent and capable of doing whatever task that is put in front of me.
My GPA does not tell my whole story. I do better in the field than I do in a classroom. And now, I just don't know how to move forward.
I'm starting to feel like a waste of potential at this point because I have always been the smart one in the family. But things took a turn for worse when I entered college. School was "my thing," and when I started doing poorly I lost "my thing." My family had always put me on a pedestal and conditioned me to believe that I was the one destined to be so great and extremely successful. Now, I'm here and my life is not going as planned. What do I do now?
First things first, you are not a waste of potential sis; in fact, you are fully capable of achieving your dreams. You've done the hard work of identifying what you love, which is a career in social justice and policy. We need people like you to carry the torch. I suggest moving forward with looking for work in your desired field. Try the non-profit, healthcare, government sectors, there are plenty of entry-level positions available for recent grads, including paid internships. And don't discount temp agencies. Having work experience will create three opportunities:
- Help you build skills and open up new opportunities for your future.
- Possibly pay for school as part of your benefits package, help you personally fund your education, or give you time to apply to scholarships to defray the cost of attendance.
- Reflects positively with admission offices to show your work ethic, giving them greater reason to accept your application.
In addition, you have the option to look for schools without the GPA/GRE requirement. Also, try submitting a transparent admission essay chronicling your undergraduate experience and what you'd hope to gain from the program.
Here's how to maximize your job opportunities:
Fine-tune your resume
Take the time to research roles on LinkedIn and companies that you love to see the most commonly used job titles. This will help you gain clarity on the role and how it may vary depending on the company. Check out the skills section and make sure the keywords are used in your resume.
Get a recruiter
A recruiter can help you get access to positions that may not have been on your radar. Most recruiters prep you before interviews and give you pointers on how to leave a lasting impression. Ask questions and get feedback on how you can better yourself, it's crucial to your success. Just remember, there is never going to be one person that has all the answers, but their POV can give you an added perspective.
Build your social profiles
Unblock your pages and clean up your profiles. Utilize your posts to build your personal brand. Identify the issues you care about the most and align your thoughts with them. Just make sure you share fact-based information and it's not radical. The goal here to show potential companies your work ethic, not to eliminate opportunities.
Your network is your net worth
Issa Rae said it best, "We have a tendency of trying to network up, but it's really about networking across." Identify young professional networking opportunities, including group chats, and get involved. This is your chance to connect with recent graduates and people in mid-career that can share their insights with you. Take the discussions offline and meet up IRL to nurture relationships.
Leave the nest
Have you thought about looking for jobs in other areas? I know it can be scary, but experiencing new places is good for growth and expansion. You're in a great place to take some (calculated) risks.
No matter where you go, you take yourself with you. Listen to your self-talk and replace any negative thoughts with positive ones. You got this!
Do you have a question about love, life, career, wellness, etc. that you'd like for life coach Ayana to answer in a future Ask Ayana Iman segment? Submit your questions here for a chance to have your question answered! Click here for past Ask Ayana Iman posts to see if your question has already been answered!
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Ayana Iman is a certified life coach, professional speaker, and mama of one based in New Jersey. She's also known for her love of big hair, travel, and cooking. Find her across social @AyanaIman.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Crystal Renay Is Prioritizing Healing, Her Kids, And Her Coins Amid Divorce
Crystal Renay is reclaiming her time and her identity after dealing with heartbreak. The model was married to Ne-Yo for seven years and they share three young children together. However, after a cheating scandal that resulted in a baby outside of their relationship, Crystal decided to end her marriage to the “So Sick” singer. Now, she is focusing on her bag and her kids. She is co-owner of Johnny’s Chicken and Waffles, launching a lip kit line, and is back on TV starring in the new WE TV reality series Bold & Bougie.
But it wasn’t an easy road, especially with reality TV. From the beginning, Crystal and her castmates bumped heads due to misconceptions and alliances with her ex-husband’s former partner, Monyetta Shaw. However, the mother of three exclusively tells xoNecole that she doesn’t regret her decision to join the show.
Crystal Renay
Photo courtesy
“Honestly, being in that space, we had a– you know, when you're first getting to know people, sometimes it can be smooth, and sometimes it can be rocky,” she says. “In our case, it was a little bit rocky and just getting to know each other, and I like to call it growing pains. And I felt like we had a couple of moments, but all in all, like the experience was really good for me, and I would do it over again.”
Crystal describes herself as “career-oriented” and says she is in her selfish season because she is now prioritizing herself first. But she admits that she is still healing from her divorce. The reality TV star shares some tips for others who may be going through the same thing.
“I would definitely say pray, pray as much as you can. Try to take your emotions out of your reactions to things because it’s always going to be something that you don't like in the situation,” she says. “But we can't move off of emotion because 10 times out of 10, a few months later, you're not going to feel like that. So, I'm a firm believer in not doing things that I will regret later. So I would just say be patient with yourself and stay positive.”
While there may be an opportunity to find love again, that’s not Crystal’s focus at the moment. She is in the rebuilding phase of her life, emphasizing the importance of self-care, personal growth, and finding her own happiness. She has had her share of challenges, including dealing with negative emotions and the public's perception of her, but her priorities involve spending quality time with her children and running lucrative businesses.
“I would definitely say pray, pray as much as you can. Try to take your emotions out of your reactions to things because it’s always going to be something that you don't like in the situation.”
“With my kids, I'm very hands-on. I’m team mother with soccer kids, and they don't really make no goals because they like five years old, but I'm there cheering them on every week,” she jokes. “I want to travel, especially this summer, with my kids and take them somewhere internationally because they're at the age where they can handle a long flight. So, me just spending more time and more new experiences with my kids is my main focus with them and showing them all the love that I could possibly give them.”
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Photo courtesy of Crystal Renay