Zoe Saldaña is raising her sons to mirror her in the most incredible way.
The From Scratch star opened up to PEOPLE in an exclusive where she spoke about leading her household by example, the different seasons of parenthood, and teaching her boys to embrace their femininity.
The 45-year-old actress is a mother to three sons that she shares with her husband and longtime love Marco Perego-Saldaña. The couple have twin sons, 8-year-olds Cy and Bowie, and a 6-year-old named Zen. The working mom never hesitates to be transparent about the delicate balance that is headlining films while raising a family.
Zoe told PEOPLE that she regards parenthood as "the most amazing thing," but she doesn't take the impact she has in molding her sons lightly.
"We are here to set very big tones for them in life on how to be, how to react, how to regulate, how to repair, how to heal, how to stand up for yourself. So they're going to be constantly mirroring what you do, knowing that you're being observed at all times," she explained.
Zoe credited communication and teamwork as a saving grace for how she and her husband Marco are able to adapt and adjust depending on their busy schedules. The star told the outlet that they are "very honest with each other about what your bandwidth feels like it can be."
She continued, "Certain seasons, I'm the one that may be taking over all of the domestic operations so that my husband can mentally break away and focus on his creativity. And other seasons when I go completely back into work mode, then we're switching off. I don't think it's ever an even share of the load, which is why I think it's important to be absolutely transparent with your bandwidth and where you are and how you're doing."
Zoe has also been candid about her belief in not instilling gender roles into her boys. Instead of adopting a mantra of "boys will be boys," Zoe and her husband take their approach to parenthood as an opportunity to teach their sons "to honor and celebrate women." Just as important to Zoe is showing Cy, Bowie, and Zen how to also "honor themselves, their femininity, to celebrate their feminine self as well."
"We're very hard on our boys the same way we're hard on women. And boys are encouraged to be strong and to suppress their emotions. And then once you learn to do that so much for so long, you become completely excommunicated from your feelings," Zoe explained to PEOPLE.
She added, "We definitely understood the assignments and accepted it knowing that we were raising boys during a time when women's movements are so important."
This isn't the first time the Avatar star has touched on the importance of a strong female presence in her growing boys' lives. Back in 2017, the Marvel actress told Yahoo Style about her young sons' superhero obsessions at the time.
"My boys are obsessed with female superheroes. And we have to search high and low to find these toys. [My sons] are demanding a female presence as much as a male presence. I am accepting this ironic challenge that this universe has presented to me."
In the past, Zoe has also been vocal about the importance of a village when raising a child and dispelling the myth of "having it all" and instead embracing "compromise" and "sacrifice" in her reality as a working mom.
“Our assistant, our nanny, and our housekeeper. They are literally raising our children with us,” she told Yahoo Style in 2017. “It’s because of them I am able to rip myself away as long as I can, and my husband as well, to do what we do. They’re teaching us how to manage our pain as they’re raising our kids with us … When you’re away a little too much, it compromises a lot more things. It’s a sacrifice and a pain that will never go away. You take every day at a time.”
Featured image by Daniele Venturelli/Getty Images for Fendi
