Everything You Need To Know About Mercury Haterade (I Mean…Retrograde)
Even if you only have an elementary understanding of Astrology, you've probably heard about the oh-so-dreaded Mercury Retrograde. About three times a year, the planet of communication, learning, and transportation goes retrograde, retracing its orbit. Although Mercury Retrograde has the ability to cause some annoyances in our lives, this regularly occurring transit isn't as bad as the masses tend to think. When we are open to truly understanding this energy (instead of perpetuating a fear-based narrative), we can make this transit work to our advantage.
Check out these 10 things you need to know about the transit we all love to hate:
1. Calm your tits, sis.
Mercury is retrograde for basically half the year. Before you knew anything about this transit, you were just living your life and Mercury has been retrograde on numerous occasions. You may have even been born during a retrograde like myself. Even if you aren't a Mercury retrograde baby, you probably know someone who is. These individuals tend to be more introspective, detail-oriented, and they have the potential to be extremely creative—even borderline genius.
2. Be patient.
The retrograde transit itself lasts for about three weeks but there is a two-and-a-half week pre-shadow and post-shadow phase. During the shadow phases, the effects of the retrograde tend to be felt more as Mercury prepares to retrace its orbit. With that being said, the entire Mercury Retrograde transit is about two months long (and yes, it can feel extremely drawn out depending on what zodiac sign this mutable planet is visiting).
3. Stick to the tried and true.
Mercury Retrograde is not a good time to start new projects, endeavors, or serious commitments. Instead, use this time to review and revise something you're already working on. This transit is best utilized for rolling up your sleeves and getting into the details. Finish up your business plan, prepare your marketing campaign for the big launch, and reassess existing contractual agreements that need to be adjusted.
4. Mindfulness is key.
When the planet that governs our thoughts and communication goes retrograde, we have a tendency to overanalyze things. When Mercury is direct, the energy is focused outwards towards our surroundings. However, when it's retrograde, the energy is more internalized. Although this transit can be effective in helping us get into the details, we can easily trail off the deep end where our inner critic becomes louder than our intuition. There are enough haters in the world. Don't be a part of your own downfall.
5. Maintenance check, please!
When's the last time you got your oil changed, sis? It's time to visit your local auto shop, especially if you plan on taking a road trip during the retrograde. Not only does Mercury govern our thoughts and communication but it also affects our transportation. If you've been holding off on getting those tires replaced or your radiator fixed, you may not be able to hold off for much longer. You can also avoid a much bigger problem later down the road by making sure your car is getting just as much self-care as you do.
6. Don’t text your ex.
You may be tempted to reach out to someone from your past due to the optical illusion that Mercury is moving backwards during a Retrograde (in actuality the speed of the planet's orbit is just slowing down). Each person's situation will be different but as the popular saying goes, "Exes are exes for a reason." Now you may feel like you've got some unfinished business to sort out with someone, and in some cases, Mercury Retrograde can help you clear the air in an attempt to get on the same page, heal, and even reconcile with the past. Just keep in mind that once Mercury goes direct, there is the possibility that someone pulls a 180 and decides to move in a different direction.
7. Leave 20 minutes early.
Mercury is a bit of a trickster and when the planet that governs our transportation goes Retrograde, it can throw some unexpected surprises our way. If you've got something important planned, or your boss keeps giving you a hard time for being late, give yourself plenty of time to get to your destination. You may notice an increase in accidents, traffic, and road work during the retrograde. With that being said, it's a good idea to leave the house a little earlier than usual to avoid the chaos.
8. Triple check your travel plans.
Traveling can already be a hectic affair. Once you add Mercury Retrograde into the mix, the process becomes 10x more annoying. There is a tendency for our thoughts to be a little cloudy during this transit which is why it's so important to pay attention to the details. As excited as you are to hit the beach in Cabo for Spring Break, make sure you've got all of your ducks in a row. Make sure your passport is up-to-date, your hotel room is secured, and stay on the alert for any flight changes.
9. Hold off on upgrading your electronics.
You may be tempted to get that new iPhone or buy that fancy MacBook Pro. Unless it's an emergency, you'd be better off waiting until Mercury goes direct. Not only does this planet govern communication and transportation but it's also associated with all of our modern gadgets. If you must make a high dollar purchase, make sure to save your receipt. You may even want to consider buying a warranty or some kind of insurance to protect your new gadget just in case something goes wrong.
10. Sharpen your expertise.
Although this isn't the best time to start a new endeavor, Mercury Retrograde does give us the opportunity to dive deeper into something we've been working on. If you need to brush up your skills or prepare for that public speaking event, this energy is useful for working out the kinks. As annoying as Mercury Retrograde can be, the regular occurrence of this transit serves to remind us that life is a lesson that is constantly refining us into a better version of ourselves.
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How To Tell If You're Disciplining Your Child Or Seeking Revenge
When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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