
Meet The Holistic Approach To Periods That Can Transform Your Cycle

With more than 84% of women experiencing painful periods, there’s no wonder why “that time of the month” is filled with negative connotations. As someone who doesn’t fall into the 84% percent noted in that study, I can still attest to factors like age, stress, and lifestyle affecting my menstrual cycle and the way I experience my periods. Gone are the days when my symptoms peaked at salty and sweet cravings, and in its wake, I’ve been introduced to cramping, low estrogen levels, and a heavier flow than I’ve experienced in all my years of having a period. Where I used to look at my periods as a time of the month when was indifferent, I am now feeling the effects and I can only imagine how the other 84% of women reporting period pain go through (more power to y’all, for real).
Two things changed the menstruating game for me. One, the conscious decision to look at my cycle for the full 28 days that it is (anywhere between 21-40 days is considered "normal.") instead of just the 5-7 days I am actually in the menstruation phase of my cycle. And two, looking into cycle syncing as a holistic way to change my relationship with my period and my cycle overall. You see, instead of acting in opposition to what I experienced during my periods, I could lean into it and restructure my life in a way that aligned with the different phases of my cycle, and therefore the different “seasons” I was in. When it comes to all that cycle syncing entails, ladies and gentlemen, this is just scratching the surface.
Berrion L. Berry, founder of Optimize Your Flo and menstrual health educator, explains, at its core that cycle syncing “is aligning different aspects of your lifestyle such as fitness, nutrition, wellness, and even business with the phases of your menstrual cycle.” And although the results could vary from person to person, it is still something she recommends to women and menstruators to see if it positively affects the way they experience their cycles. She adds that not only can cycle syncing transform your periods, but it can also evolve the way people with periods work.
“As more and more research is being conducted we’re finding things that are so unique. Did you know that there are times throughout the cycle perfect for brainstorming new ideas like during the menstrual phase?” Berry continues, “When practicing cycle syncing and understanding changes that happen, people can actually work more effectively and I think that’s incredible. Especially if you’re someone who’s looking to go from feeling burnout to embracing the soft life.”
Keep reading for the phases of the menstrual cycle and how to optimize each phase for ultimate alignment as well as potentially less painful periods.
The Phases of the Menstrual Cycle
Phase 1: Menstruation (Winter)
Phase 2: Follicular (Spring)
Phase 3: Ovulation (Summer)
Phase 4: Luteal (Fall)
Cycle Syncing During the Menstruation Phase (Days 1-7)
Menstruation is the “shedding of the uterine lining and when your period happens.” Berry notes that since the hormones are in an 'off' position during this time, your overall energy can feel low. Nourish the body with unprocessed, nutrient-rich foods and filtered water to keep your blood sugar and energy levels steady.
The Optimal Way to Nourish the Body:
"A good mix of lean proteins, healthy fats, and low GI carbs such as root vegetables, whole grain, and legume-packed stews, can support the energy-intensive process of menstruation."
The Optimal Way to Move the Body:
"Since your body is physically releasing, the best thing you can do is rest or active recovery. The reason you want to do this is so that you don’t apply additional stress (increased cortisol) to the body and create an inflamed, exhausted, or overwhelmed environment within the body.
"Light jogs, long hikes, a nice yoga flow for most people. If you’re someone who likes to train a lot, one of the best things you can do during this time is a low-intensity workout like Pilates as well, preferably mat Pilates.
Cycle Syncing During the Follicular Phase (Days 8-13)
The follicular phase is “the time between the end of the period and ovulation” and can be viewed as the “spring” season of your cycle. To prepare for ovulation, the body's hormone levels are on the rise as your egg follicles mature, Berry explains. In contrast to the low energy levels you might have felt during the menstruation phase, during the follicular phase, you may start to feel more energized.
The Optimal Way to Nourish the Body:
"Supporting your gut aids the body in processing estrogen and potential toxins that may be in your body. The more micronutrients you focus on getting during this time, the better. This is a good time to incorporate light, fresh and vibrant foods, such as salads and fermented foods like kefir, probiotic yogurt, or sauerkraut, which support gut health and detoxification."
The Optimal Way to Move the Body:
"During this time, since your hormones are beginning to rise, it’s the perfect time to pick back up on your workouts and training. Exercises like reformer Pilates, boxing, spin class anything a bit intense and vigorous is perfect for this. You may also want to consider adding a bit of resistance training in."
Cycle Syncing During the Ovulation Phase (Days 14-21)
Berry refers to the ovulation phase as “the main event” of your menstrual cycle as it is when the egg is released from the ovary. "During ovulation, hormone levels are skyrocketing and estrogen is the life of the party. It aids in the ovulation process along with a surge in LH. Our basal body temperature also increases during this time, which can impact increased energy levels."
She also adds that “ovulation is not always day 14 of a cycle no matter what you’ve been taught in the past. Ovulation can actually change based off so many things, so just make sure you know your body.”
The Optimal Way to Nourish the Body:
"Consuming foods that are nutrient-dense, but also refreshing like a smoothie bowl or salad is definitely a must. See, excess estrogen can have a negative impact on our cycle, including breast tenderness and increased spotting, however, consuming nutrients that support the liver to remove estrogen is good to include and are found in foods such as kale, broccoli, onions, garlic, and radishes."
The Optimal Way to Move the Body:
"During this time, since your hormones estrogen, LH, and testosterone have surged, it’s the perfect time to do those higher intensity workouts and anything that will have you actively sweating and increasing your heart rate. Exercises like spinning, sprinting, and heavy lifting are perfect during this phase."
Cycle Syncing During the Luteal Phase (Days 22-28)
The last phase of your menstrual cycle is “the time between ovulation and before the start of menstruation when the body prepares for a possible pregnancy if the egg is fertilized.” Berry continues, "During this phase, there's a shift in hormones, and around day 23 of your cycle, your body begins to prepare for the shed of the uterine lining. You may notice your cravings are a bit more intense, and you just want to eat everything in sight."
The Optimal Way to Nourish the Body:
"With estrogen on the decline and progesterone on the rise, you'll want to make sure that you focus on nourishing your body with additional nutrients like iron, magnesium, and zinc as well as complex carbs."
The Optimal Way to Move the Body:
"Since your body is preparing to physically release, the best thing you can do is low-intensity workouts and active recovery. The reason you want to do this is so that you don’t apply additional stress (increased cortisol) to the body and create an inflamed, exhausted, or overwhelmed environment within the body. I suggest light jogs, long hikes, or a nice yoga flow for most people."
How to Start Cycle Syncing
If you want to start cycle syncing and optimizing your period health, Berry has the perfect method to start. In her teachings, Berry recommends beginning your cycle syncing journey through a process of habit stacking where you optimize cycle syncing by building on basic healthy habits you've already mastered. Berry sums this process up with the statement, "Standardize before you optimize." Her step-by-step process to standardize healthy habits is as follows:
The O.N.E method:
- O is for "organize your meals in sync with your cycle;"
- N is for "nurture your adrenals" which Berry says means working out in sync with your cycle, making time to meditate, journal, or pray at least once a day, and getting on a regular sleep schedule;
- E is for "execute daily" which Berry created a checklist to help people with this step (download the checklist here).
After utilizing her method to standardize your healthy habits, Berry advises looking at where you are in your cycle to optimize your lifestyle habits according to the recommended lifestyle habits according to the phase you are in. For more specifics, check out her guide on fertility awareness here. "Once you know where you’re at in your cycle, I like to recommend people start with nutrition, then add fitness and wellness, but ultimately people can start with wherever they want," Berry shares.
If you are starting your cycle syncing practice and don't wish to go the DIY route, Berry has a wealth of resources, including classes that she advises period havers to take if they are looking for a step-by-step plan with all of the details. Learn more about her classes here.
For more information about cycle syncing and daily tips, follow Berry on Instagram or TikTok @berrionlberry.
Featured image by Kevin Kozicki/Getty Images
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Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
As Told To: 'I Spent $10K On A Dating Coach & Now I’m Married To The Love Of My Life'
As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative, as told to a writer.
This is Shirley Williams' story as told to Sheriden Chanel.
When I decided to become the CEO of my love life, it cost me over $10K.
Trust, sharing that choice online came with a lot of opinions I didn’t ask for. $10K on a dating coach? Yeah, I did that. And less than two years later, I’m married to the man I prayed for. So if you’re wondering about the ROI... let’s just say it paid off in full.
But before all that, let me take you back to how this journey really began.
When I resolved to walk away from my 13-year relationship, admittedly, I wasn’t thinking about dating at all. My ex was a good man. He was kind, he was cool, but I knew he wasn’t my man. God knew that, too, even before I did.
We had reached a fork in the road: I was growing deeper in my faith, wanting to center God in every part of my life, including my purpose. He was walking a different path, and we were no longer aligned. Turns out, you can spend 13 years with someone and still be emotionally malnourished.
As our relationship came to its end, I learned that longevity isn’t proof of alignment. I learned that a man being “good” isn’t enough. A man can be kind but not called to walk beside you in your purpose. That being unclear about your values will always cost you time.
And delaying your desires in the name of comfort? That’ll cost you even more. I knew I never wanted to make that mistake again.
Still, even knowing it was right to let him go, walking away felt like mourning a death. I dated casually after that: flings and situationships here and there. But they took more than they gave. I was left depleted more than fulfilled, so I made a conscious decision to stop dating altogether.
Around the same time, my mother was diagnosed with a brain injury that left her unable to form short-term memories. My sister and I became her caregivers along with my dad. But just as I got her stabilized, my father was diagnosed with blood cancer. At one point, he was bedridden.
So no, I wasn’t thinking about love. I was thinking about survival.
For two years, I didn’t give out my number. Didn’t go on a single date. I was tired, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. But not just from dating. From everything.
Those two years weren’t about fear, they were about focus. I was caregiving, grieving, and building a startup from the ground up. I had nothing left to give romantically. So when my birthday came around in September 2023, I knew I needed stillness to replenish what I had lost.
I went to Joshua Tree alone, I booked a tiny home in the middle of the desert, and I told myself: “I’m going to be still.” For five days, I read, prayed, fasted, and listened to jazz and classical music. No distractions.
Courtesy of Shirley Vernae
On the drive back to LAX, it hit me like a ton of bricks, and I couldn’t unsee it: I had invested in every other area of my life, except my love life. I realized then that my love life deserved a strategy, too.
So, I did what I always do when I want to grow in an area: I found someone wiser. I found an expert who could guide me in the form of a dating coach, and I hired him. Because love is too sacred to leave to chance. And I was finally ready to build it on purpose.
To some, hiring a dating coach might’ve looked like desperation. But desperation doesn’t look like pausing for two years, it looks like settling for crumbs and calling it a meal. You’ll mistake attention for affection, and chaos for chemistry. Desperation doesn’t discern. It just consumes.
That wasn’t me. Not only was I not desperate, but I was a little too comfortable being single.
I didn’t invest $10K+ in a dating coach because I was desperate. I invested because I was done repeating old patterns. Strategy is getting honest about your desire and then building a pathway toward it with clarity, with guidance, and with God.
I had invested in every other area of my life, my business, my health, and my growth. Why would my love life be the one place I left to chance?
So no, I wasn’t desperate. I was ready. Ready to stop guessing. Ready to stop wasting time. Ready to become the kind of woman who could receive the kind of love I prayed for.
But before I could become her, I had to face the parts of me still holding on to old beliefs.
When I walked away from that relationship and got into therapy, everything shifted. My therapist helped me unpack my wounds, my conditioning, and the patterns I couldn’t see on my own. And when the fog cleared, I was 100% sure: God had given me this desire. And I was not going to let doubt, distraction, or misalignment steal it from me.
This wasn’t just about having a plan, it was about being in divine alignment.
Between 2023 and now, I’ve invested close to $12,000 in coaching. I joined Anwar White’s Get Your Guy program in October 2023. The program was $7,500 over six months—that’s $1,250 a month, less than some people spend on luxury items they’ll outgrow. And for me? It made perfect sense.
After starting the program, I met my now-husband that December. We became official in spring 2024, and he proposed in January 2025.
But the real shift wasn’t him. It was me. I no longer chased anything—not men, not clients, not friendships. I stopped striving and started trusting. I started existing, and I let what was aligned come to me.
And when he came, he came steady. Consistent. Intentional. Reliable. Joyful. He was deeply committed to my happiness before anything else. He doesn’t move unless it’s with care for my heart.
With him, there is no performance. No eggshells. No pressure. Just alignment.
We walk together, in purpose. I now have a partner who is in service to me, not in competition with me. A partner who lightens my load. Mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. He helps me think. Helps me build. Helps me breathe. He makes my life easier, and that is something I had never experienced before.
I still reinvest in my love life by continuing to work with Anwar. His programs have taken me from dating, to courting, to exclusivity, to engaged, and now to being married. Because each of those phases required a new version of me. Because I had never been here before.
@shirleyvernae I hadn’t been on a single date in 2 years. Met my fiancé last year and got engaged 2 months ago. You’re the CEO of your love life. It’s time to act like it ❤️ # CEO ##Fiancé##Engaged##Relationships##Dating##Engagement
Through Anwar’s program, I was gifted the most pivotal mindset shift of them all:
That love doesn’t have to feel like a struggle. And that’s my new standard.
One of the most powerful things Anwar said to me was, “You can’t do the wrong thing to the right guy.” And that truth set me free.
Before working with him, I thought love had to be proved. Performed. Earned. I thought I had to be perfect. Healed. Small enough to fit into someone else’s version of love. But that was never true.
There are men who are devoted to creating ease in your life. Men who see your softness as strength and your boundaries as beauty.
My now-husband, Ty, is one of them. He is steady. He is consistent. And no matter how much I struggled, no matter how I tried to self-sabotage, he stayed anchored in one mission: to bring ease, to bring peace, to bring safety.
So the shift? I stopped performing. I started discerning. I raised my standards. I stopped doubting. And I let myself be held.
Yeah, the biggest shift was realizing I am worthy of love that doesn’t come with chaos. Love that’s safe. Love that’s solid. Love that’s soft.
That’s what happens when you stop settling and start showing up with faith, clarity, and strategy. That’s what happens when you become the CEO of your love life.
Being the CEO of my love life meant I stopped outsourcing it to luck, fate, or vibes. I no longer left it up to chance or timing, or wishful thinking. Just like I build businesses with vision, strategy, and intentional partnerships, I built a love life that reflects those same values.
A good CEO doesn’t try to do it all alone. A good CEO casts vision, brings the right experts to the table, delegates with wisdom, and trusts the process. That’s exactly how I approached love. I partnered with God. I partnered with mentors. I aligned my actions with my desires. That’s not control, that’s stewardship. And that’s what changed everything.
I knew sharing my journey online was going to stir something up. And it did. Some people were inspired. Some were uncomfortable. But their discomfort wasn’t about me. It was about what my story confronted in them: scarcity, shame, old beliefs about what’s “worth it” and what’s not.
And I’m okay with that. I’m not here to be liked. I’m here to be aligned. That’s my assignment.
To the woman who’s feeling discouraged, let me say this: Time is a tool, don’t let it become your tormentor. You are not late. You are not behind. You are not disqualified. Your desire for love is not shameful, it’s sacred.
Don’t let what society says, what the media projects, or what a non-believer has spoken over you define what’s possible. The only thing that’s true is what God has said. And God has said, “All things are possible to him that believes.”
If you’re feeling stuck, let that be your invitation to do something different. You don’t have to do this alone. Ask for help. Get support. Find a coach, a mentor, a couple you admire—not the shiny ones on social media, but the ones who’ve walked through fire and still chose each other.
Date with intention. Choose love on purpose. Marriage is a gift from God, and it is never too late to receive it. There is strength in being seen, supported, and walking in purpose together.
And for my Black women especially, softness is your superpower. Discernment is your birthright. You are the prizeand the picker. Dating with intention isn’t about being aggressive, it’s about being aligned.
We are not desperate. We are divine. Even in your healing, even in your becoming, know this: you can never do the wrong thing to the right guy.
And the right guy? He’ll meet you right there: in your wholeness, and in your work-in-progress.
To keep up with Shirley Vernae Williams and her journey as a storyteller, producer, and love life CEO, follow her on Instagram @shirleyvernae and learn more about her work at williebstudios.com.
Featured image courtesy of Shirley Vernae