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Exclusive: Tyler Lepley Shares His Definition Of Black Love & Why It’s Important To Give Black Women A Voice
Tyler Lepley first received acclaim for his roles in Baggage Claim co-starring Paula Patton and Tyler Perry’s The Haves and The Have Nots original series on OWN, which both premiered in 2013. Fast forward ten years later, the 80s baby’s acting receipts have extended to Katori Hall’s P-Valley as a series regular, and a role in Amazon Prime’s original series Harlem.
As Ian Walker, Lepley takes on the role of a passionate chef whose dreams drive him to make it in the Big Apple. Lucky for Lepley, his character’s aspirations are his day-to-day reality. The 35-year-old Philly-born actor spoke with xoNecole’s contributing features writer D’Shonda Brown for our xoMan series about his definition of Black love, the importance of putting Black female voices in the forefront of Hollywood, and love advice he would give his Harlem character.
“I think I would tell him that even though you run into obstacle after obstacle, following your heart is something that's worth following,” Lepley told xoNecole about relationship and love advice he would give his character. “Finding that love is something that is worth fighting for, even though it may feel negative at times. I think one thing that he would share with me is he would say, ‘You're right where you're supposed to be.’”
Seen in the media proudly as a partner to Miracle Watts and a father to their son Xi Lei Lepley as well as two other children from a previous relationship, the actor has been in the limelight for not only being a talented man but also one who wears his love for his new family unapologetically on his sleeve. But what does love look like to the episodic Tales actor? “To me, Black love looks like effort. When you love something, initially it can feel like it's a knee-jerk reaction,” he said.
“But soon, we'll figure out that the honeymoon phase in anything wears off initially. Then, we got to get into a place where we're committed to staying in a place that feels good. It takes effort. It takes time. It takes a higher emotional IQ.”
He added, “Again, it takes a lot of effort. It's something that's worth fighting for; something you got to be committed to. Not one foot in one foot out, just so you can bounce anytime. It feels hard, but truly to stay committed to it to see what it grows into.”
In the Tracy Oliver-written show Harlem, the heartthrob portrays Ian Walker and has been actively part of the cast alongside Meagan Good, Grace Byers, Shoniqua Shandai, and Jerrie Johnson since the first season debut in 2021. Now gearing up for the show’s highly-anticipated second season, Lepley reflected on how being part of the ensemble has allowed him to grow as a thespian and overall creative in the entertainment industry.
“I would say that the number one way that I have grown as a creative and also as an individual is to just understand how important collaborative efforts are when we're trying to get to a collective goal,” Lepley shared about the lessons he’s learned while being part of the Amazon Prime series.
(L-R) Mimi Valdes, Tyler Lepley, Jerrie Johnson, Grace Byers, Tracy Oliver, Meagan Good, Shoniqua Shandai and Juani Feliz
Arnold Turner/Getty Images for Prime Video
“As an Aries, as an only child, I'm very headstrong. I'm a leader. I feel like when a problem arises, I'll fix it, 10 [times] out of 10,” Lepley continued confidently. “However, in a family environment, family structure, in a group effort, you get some of that magic by listening to each other and helping each other, being the ear to listen to while also having something to say yourself. I would definitely say as a man and as a creative, understanding the dynamic of teamwork is definitely something I took away from being here at Harlem.”
With a show about a group of women navigating life, love, and personal growth in their 30s, and as a male protagonist in the show, Lepley gives flowers to the story arcs of Harlem for giving these strong Black female leads depth, strength, and interest throughout every episode that audience members can connect to. “One thing I've learned is that to have these Black women at the forefront is something that's not just welcome but something that's necessary,” he championed for the stories told in the show.
“I've been speaking about this time and time again, that I've never been more supported by anyone in life, more than a Black woman. The sense of strength, the sense of being able to feel safe in that space is something that's not only beneficial but something that's necessary and something that I really took away from being in this family that we call Harlem and something that I'll forever be grateful for.”
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Featured image by Arnold Turner/Getty Images for Prime Video
These Newlyweds Found Love Thanks To A Friend Playing Matchmaker
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
Jason and Elise Robinson’s union is a reminder that kind people still get their happily ever after. The pair had their first date in October of 2021 and tied the knot on June 15, 2024. Both of them have dedicated their lives to celebrating and supporting Black culture so it was only fitting they get married in what's considered the Black Hollywood of America during the Juneteenth celebration weekend. From the florists to Elise and Jason's gown and suit designers to the table signage and so much more, everything was Black-owned. It's no wonder their love for Black culture was the jumping-off point for their love story.
When they met, Jason had just moved to Atlanta for a new job opportunity, and Elise was living happily in her career and had put dating on the backburner. But luckily, a mutual connection saw something in both of them and thanks to a yoga-themed baby shower and a chance text message, they found their forever. Check out their beautiful How We Met story below.
I’ll start with the easiest question. Can you both tell me a little bit about yourself and your background?
Elise: Sure, my name is Elise. I’m actually from Atlanta, GA – not a transplant. I grew up here and left right after college to pursue my career. Now I’ve been back going on eight years, and I’m in my early 40s.
Jason: And I’m Jason. I’m originally from Racine, Wisconsin. I went to school at Florida A&M University, so I am a rattler. I went back to the Midwest for a period of time, in Indianapolis. Now, I’ve been in the Atlanta area for a little over two and a half years.
Jason and Elise Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Wow, that’s nice because Atlanta gets a bad rap when it comes to relationships. So you have to give us the deets. How did you two find each other?
Elise: So I work in TV and I was on-air for a number of years and then transitioned into being a producer and then a manager. As a producer, I’d always have guests on. And there was a woman who came on frequently named Rosalynn (@Rosalynndaniels, often referred to as The Black Martha Stewart), and we connected instantly. Anyway, she got pregnant right before COVID and invited me to a “modern-day yoga baby shower.” I came to support, but was also just curious about that theme.
I had an amazing time. And when it was over a few of us stuck around and convos got personal. She ended up asking me the infamous ‘Are you dating’ question. When I told her no, she decided to set me up. So I should tell you, in both of my only two serious relationships, I was set up – so I was like no.
But she pointed at her husband, who was folding up chairs, and said that another friend set her up with him. Sometimes, it takes people outside of us to see what we need. A few months later, she reached out and said she had family relocating and thought I’d really like him. So she gave him my number, and I reached out with a text. He responded with a call, and that night, we talked for about 2-3 hours. So that’s how we met. I was a little nervous because me and Rosalynn were starting a friendship, and here I was, talking to her family!
Jason: It was new for me too. Remember, I was new to the area, and I had heard so many “stories” about how people have been done wrong in the dating world. Whether it’s by theft or scamming (laughs). Plus, I had just got a new job and wanted to focus on that. But I did want to be able to date someone in a more personal way and see where it led. I felt like who better than someone who I trust to connect me. Rosalynn knows I’m private, about business life, and my personal life is important to me.
So let’s get into your courtship. What was your first date like?
Elise: We had our first convo on a Monday, and he asked me out the next day. I didn’t have any plans, but I still said no. I was just playing hard to get (laughs). But we were talking every day, and he told me he wanted to take me somewhere I’ve never been. And I’m like, you’re in my city! But he sends me three options, and sure enough, two of the places I hadn’t gone to. So, our first date was October 1, 2021, and somebody was 45 minutes late.
Now Jason, why were you 45 minutes late?
Elise: It was me – in my own city. I just got turned around, and the traffic was horrible. I kept calling him and giving him permission to leave. Full transparency: I probably wouldn’t have waited if the shoe was on the other foot. But this was my first sign of what I now know and love the most about him. It’s his patience. When I got there, I was frazzled and everything, but he was just super calm. It ended up being a great first date.
Jason: I remember just waiting and being concerned for her well-being. Because I know how traffic can be, especially when someone is rushing. I was just scrolling through my phone and looking through the menu. It was cool.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Courtesy
That’s beautiful. Now let’s talk about the “what are we” convo? Did you have one of those and if so, who initiated it and how was it?
Elise: I initiated it. Jason was dating me – and still does. But by this time, we had been on a number of dates. We were on our way to a winery, and we had a bit of a drive. So I decided to state my intention. We were just a few weeks in, but we were spending a lot of time together and we are people of a particular age. So I told him, I know Atlanta can be a Black man’s playground. There’s so many beautiful professional women here. But I’m dating with intention. I don’t want to kick it or hang with a good guy even though he’s not my person. I was done with all of that. So I’m “laying down the law” in my eyes, and he didn’t flinch. He let me finish and basically let me know we were on the same page. He was not trying to sow his royal oats.
Jason: Yeah, I was not trying to be Prince Akeem. But also, it was more so about setting a tone and goal for myself. My mama always told me to set my goals. And having a family was always one of mine. I think the biggest thing of it all, was I felt blessed – in terms of moving for work and meeting Elise, now being married. There’s victories being placed in my life.
I love that you both shared that because sometimes I get feedback on these stories and it seems like sometimes we’re afraid to really voice what we desire, no matter what that looks like.
Elise: Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
Jason: I think her sharing those values resonated with me, and hearing her “lay down the law” was fine because I was there, too. I would say to millennial women, don’t be afraid to tell a mate what you want. You never know what that would lead to. Time is a precious commodity. Elise saying that early on showed me that she values both of our time. It showed her heart, character, and integrity, and I was drawn to that and the mature conversation. In the social media world, we don’t have those pointed conversations face-to-face. I would challenge readers to have those conversations in person, and you would get more from that convo than any post or reel. Because you see body language reactions and have deeper communication.
Yeah, I think sometimes women feel like they don’t want to put pressure on their partner. But it’s not pressure. Look, Jason and I are based in faith, and what is for us is for us. Being upfront and honest is best – and early makes sense. You don’t have to convince someone to be your person.
You both have mentioned time, family, and integrity. I’m curious what other core values do you both share?
Elise: Early on, our faith. Not just do you believe in God. It had to be deeper in that. I needed someone who would lead me, our home, and our family. I didn’t want to be in a push-and-pull relationship about prayer, church, or have conversations about being better people. Also, we discussed finances. That doesn’t just mean going to work. We chatted about ownership and what it looks like for us. How do we support each other individually and together? I know I like having my hands in a few different pots, and I needed someone who was supportive of that and likewise.
Jason: My background is that I was raised in the church. My father is a deacon and my mom is a deaconess. They've been married for 55 years. Faith was very important to me and it was crucial that my wife have that relationship as well.
Elise and Jason Robinson
Photo by FotosbyFola
Can we talk about challenges? Big or small, what are some things you had to grow through together?
Elise: I have never lived with anyone – not a roommate, a sister, friend, boyfriend or anything. Now, I’m in my 40s and I'm living with someone. When you’ve been by yourself for so long that was a challenge for both of us. We weren’t pulling each other's hair out but I’m a bit extreme. Things are color-coded in my closet. For me, working in news is chaotic so I want my home to be peaceful and organized.
Jason: I’m a man, and she’s a woman. That dynamic alone adds a flair to it. She wants things a certain way. She’s a Capricorn. But just in terms of how she wants to keep a home was a big adjustment for me. It took time.
On a smaller level, what are some of the things you disagree about day-to-day?
Elise: Cleanliness and systems. Like, he recycles and I do not. But sometimes I just have to decide if it really needs to be a thing or if I can just take care of it.
Jason: This is where my organization takes over (laughs).
What are your love languages? Do you know?
Elise: Jason’s is an act of service which works because I love cooking for him. It doesn’t feel like a chore to me. I love when I’m out, picking up his favorite juice. The other day I saw he needed t-shirts while folding clothes. So I just like doing small things for him that he doesn’t expect. He’s very much that guy that will ask to help so it doesn’t bother me.
Jason: I’d say Elise is all of them, but physical touch would probably be the biggest one. I had to get used to that. She’s taught me it in a number of ways. I remember we actually talked about love languages, and I sent her this song called “More Than Words” by Extreme. That explained to her how I felt.
Finally, can we end with the proposal? Tell us everything!
Jason: It was at a restaurant. And again, I was trying to find somewhere she hadn’t been. Also, I didn’t want to do it on our anniversary because that would have been too obvious. I contacted one of the restaurant’s staff and decided to change up the dessert menu. Each item was something special to us.
Elise: We go on so many date nights, so I just thought it was a regular night. We had finished eating, and I had to go to the bathroom. They had a nice mirror, girl. So I’m in there taking videos and stuff.
Jason: While she’s in the restroom, I’m getting everything in place with the waitress.
Elise: So as I’m reading the menu, I realize it’s telling our story and he eventually proposed. It was so special; I actually had the menu framed! It was so beautiful and thoughtful.
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Feature image by FotosbyFola
'ACross Generations With Tiffany Cross' Highlight Career Hardships With Melba Moore And Amari Marshall
ACross Generations with Tiffany Cross, the thought-provoking podcast featuring intergenerational discussions returns with a new episode exploring the realities of the entertainment industry.
This installment brings together host Tiffany Cross, Tony Award-winning actress and Grammy-nominated singer Melba Moore, and dancer extraordinaire Amari "Monster" Marshall. The dynamic trio engages in a compelling conversation, delving into the artists' financial struggles, the impact of social media, and the importance of mentorship in the industry.
A standout moment in the discussion came when Moore, who has been in the entertainment industry for over 50 years, shared how losing everything ultimately helped her conquer career-related fears.
“I think losing my whole life, losing my daughter, losing my family, losing my career, [and] being homeless,” she said.
To provide context for her past hardships, Moore recounted living in Central Park South in New York, an area described as unsafe at night due to crimes like mugging and assault.
“That’s where I used to live,” she added. “That’s when I realized I have to get a suitcase with wheels.”
When Cross inquired about how Moore, a successful Broadway actress and singer, ended up in such dire circumstances, the 78-year-old shared a shocking revelation. Moore explained that her husband, who also served as her manager, had forged her signature to transfer all their assets to himself.
“My manager/husband, behind my back, forged my name on divorce documents,” she said. “Divorced me. Signed all of our business and marital assets to himself.”
Moore revealed she discovered her ex-husband's actions through his family. Fearing for her safety and reputation, she decided to go public with her story. She explained that she wanted the press to be aware of her situation if something happened to her, ensuring her legacy wouldn't be tainted by false headlines.
Eventually, Moore regained her footing after starring in Michael Matthews' gospel Broadway productions, which led to other roles. Since then, Moore disclosed that despite the hardships caused by her ex-husband's actions, her family is now healing.
Following Moore's admission, Cross expressed disbelief at the actress's experience but noted that many people are going through similar situations and using social media to expose them.
“There’s so many incidents like this and now with Instagram, you see the mess,” she stated.
Further into the discussion, Marshall opened up about the struggles she faced as a dancer early in her career. She revealed a particularly challenging situation where an employer took most of her earnings, leaving her to survive on only $100 a month.
“Me and my mom lived in every part of Los Angeles before we were able to get our own studio apartment,” she shared. “It was a family of six. I’m traveling the world nonstop. Nobody would have known that I was still making $100 a month.”
Marshall explained that she didn't openly discuss her financial hardships, leading people to make assumptions. Because she worked with stars like Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Janet Jackson, and Beyoncé and toured the world, many believed that Marshall was earning a substantial amount of money.
Following that experience, Marshall learned the importance of navigating the business and budgeting effectively. Toward the end of the conversation, the star reflected on how challenging times can ultimately benefit one's life.
“If you don’t have those bad times, you’re not really learning,” she said.
The full episode of ACross Generations with Tiffany Cross, featuring this discussion and other compelling topics, is now streaming on the show's official YouTube channel.
Celebrating the Impact of Black Women in Arts with Melba Moore and Amari Marshall
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Feature image ACross Generations With Tiffany Cross/ YouTube