

Tracee Ellis Ross Is All About Self-Care: ‘It’s All About Me'
Tracee Ellis Ross’ timeless beauty isn’t just in her genes, she also takes self-care seriously. If you take one glimpse at her Instagram page, you will see the actress working out, doing beauty treatments, and sharing her hair solutions with her Pattern Beauty line. From drinking lemon water to wearing little to no makeup, the black-ish star unveils all her self-care secrets in an interview with British Vogue.
Tracee Ellis Ross On How She Wakes Up In the Morning
“This is going to sound strange but I use my tongue scraper before I drink any water or eat. Then I like to have a glass of lemon water and take my supplements. I will also usually go and work out, and beforehand will try and eat something – you’re supposed to eat a little sugar, like apple sauce or something, and then take a protein shake after. I’m not a coffee drinker, so I don’t have a major morning routine, nor do I have kids or a dog right now – so it’s all about me.”
Tracee On Her Wellness Routine
“I meditate. I haven’t been as diligent recently because the pandemic messed with my routine, but I am very much one of those people. I also do Gyrotonics and Gyrokinesis – it’s sort of a connection to the body. I really believe that staying connected to my body is where I gain a sense of wholeness for myself.”
Tracee On Rituals That Help Her to Relax and Switch Off
“My biggest is a bath – I love them. I will take a bath at 5:30 in the morning, before work. I put magnesium flakes in because I work out so much. A really hot bath is a great gentle start to the day, and I also do this thing where I stand up in the bath and do a full cold rinse with the shower. It’s really good for you.”
Tracee On Her Secret to a Life Well-Lived
“Joy, as much laughter as possible, good sleep. [Being around] as many trees as possible and eating as much whole and beautiful food and you can. Friends and family. Oh, and beautiful clothes!”
Tracee Ellis Ross On Her Own Hair Routine
“For me, personally, I don’t wear any make-up on my skin. It’s usually earrings, lipstick, and hair – they are my best accessories. I believe for both my skin and hair that it’s all about hydration, hydration, hydration – I focus on the water I put in [my body] and the moisture that I put onto my skin and my hair.”
“I wash my hair maybe once a week, but because I work out so much I do a co-wash. I’m really big on deep conditioning so I will pick one of the conditioners and fill my hair with it. Often I’ll put on the moisture mask and do house chores. My hair routine is pretty simple: I wash, condition, and use the Pattern shower brush, which is my favorite. It creates the curls, then I use our leave-in conditioner and either let it air dry or diffuse it – I like it when it gets really fluffy and big. I often make it even bigger once it’s dry by using our hair pick and really getting into the root of the hair.”
“My hair is usually best on day one, so I leave it out, and then that night, before bed, I brush it out with a paddle brush and put a little bit of our Jojoba Oil in my hair. I don’t sleep with a cap or anything on. Then towards the rest of the week, I either braid or slick back – I love a slicked-back look. I think it’s so elegant. I travel and work out in a slicked-back look, and use the styling cream in the front so it gets nice and shiny, like satin.”
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From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
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