She Gets It From Her Mama: Tracee Ellis Ross On How Diana Ross Shaped Her Sexuality
Some will tell you that finding yourself in a box is an opportunity to paint it; others will tell you to break out of the box altogether.
Tracee Ellis Ross is that friend who demands you to break barriers that the world may try to place on you and live bold in your fullness. Tracee has consistently been a role model for self-love and sex positivity. Through her words and activism, we come to know that loving yourself is one of the greatest gifts you can give - not only to yourself but to those around you. In a recent profile with Glamour Magazine, we are able to take a look inside of Tracee's journey with radical self-love, sexuality, and ownership of the woman she is today.
As the daughter of super diva Diana Ross, it's only natural that you pick up on the feminine power rather quickly. Tracee reveals that her mother is the reason why she has always been so comfortable, and positive, with her sexuality.
"My mom is a sexy woman—that is part of her persona—and that is a delicious thing that has never felt scary to me. Recently I learned this wonderful term, sex-positive, and that is the way I feel. [For me] the answer to the objectification of women and black women in our culture is not to shut down my sexuality but to own it as something that is mine."
Having a superstar as a mother has its perks; however, to Tracee, the greatest aspect about her mother is her ability to love, not how talented she is. The down-to-earth personality that we all love about Tracee is rooted in the unconditional, prideful love that her mother shows for her family.
"The Diana Ross we all know kind of doesn't hold a candle to the mom that I have, in her extraordinary ability to love. What was most impactful about that moment to me was that my mother was receiving a Lifetime Achievement Award for her career, and the most important thing to my mom was to have her entire family onstage with her. My mom had my nieces and nephews—her grandchildren—dancing around her. Whenever we go see her show, that's what happens. That's the way I grew up, dancing onstage while my mom was singing. Just like walking on the stage and tapping her on the butt, and like, 'Mom, Mom.' My mom holds her family and a career and nourishes both things.
My mother has a deep heart for her children that I almost don't understand.… I have these memories, like I said, my mom is onstage doing her job, and as a kid, I would wander in during shows, like, 'Hey, Mom.' And she was not like, 'Get off the stage! Get out of my moment!' She's like, 'What's up?' I have never heard my mom say, 'Not now—I don't have time.' Even now, in the middle of the night, my mom will answer the telephone. It's incredible to know you are loved in a way that somebody is there for you.
That's something that I have used in my relationships with friends. My friends know: My home phone ringer doesn't turn off. You need me in the middle of the night? I am your girl. I will bring you to the hospital. I will call you if you are frightened."
From awards to front-cover editorials to critically-acclaimed TV shows - Tracee has done it all. And Diana is always in the first row to cheer her on, even if her choice of career sometimes scared Diana.
"My mom was in my first meeting with Wilhelmina, the modeling agency. She set it up. I did the Thierry Mugler fashion show because of her. Thierry Mugler had asked her to do it, and she said the only way I'll do it is if you let my daughter walk too. So, my mom never dissuaded it; although I will say, she was very big on saying things like, "You sure you don't want to be a doctor?" Her sister is a world-renowned doctor: Dr. Barbara Ross-Lee, the first black female dean of a medical school. So, we had all of those options open to us. But what I saw in my mother was a woman with a platform, who had agency in her life. I walked toward that."
Tracee has been working towards creating her own platform for years and it has paid off in major ways.
Not only in her work, but with her openness to discuss personal sentiments of her life - being in her 40s and single - does Tracee help give an unconventional angle to somewhat monotonous conversations. In her speech at the Women of the Year conference, she opened up about how others seem to pressure her to be boxed in to the norms of marriage and having children. Sometimes, it makes her feel "less than" despite all of her accomplishments.
Tracee is not in a rush to get married.
Cultivating self-hood is the prerequisite of any healthy union. When you cultivate love for self, you are filling up your glass to be able to water others with the extras. Tracee is a firm believer in becoming an advocate for yourself first and foremost. It is with yourself where you find home. It is with yourself where you are able to operate from a space of love.
"The key is you ask yourself, What do I need right now? I've cultivated a relationship with myself where I know I have choices…. I have a toolbox of ways I can find support; journaling is helpful, or meditation.
And I have had to really make friends with loneliness. And know the difference between choice-ful solitude and lonely. [I find comfort in] being able to name it, to say I'm feeling lonely, then to have a tribe of people I feel safe enough with to share: This is how I feel.
I don't have the luxury of not going to work when I don't feel up to it. Most people don't. On those days, I acknowledge I am feeling f-cking crappy, and I'm not at my best, and I still want to or need to keep walking forward. I have to do some of my best work on my worst days. I have to look pretty even when I don't feel pretty. There's a way to hold both things."
Many might confuse self-love with egotism. It's not at all the same thing. Tracee's cultivation of self-love is the root of where she waters her support for other women. With her own accomplishments, she is able to recognize the queenship of other women in their awards. Her pride for other women and women of color is just another reason why Tracee's cultivation of love is thick like honey and sweet for everyone who indulges.
"There's the personal gratification: I have dreamt of moments like these since I was a little girl, accepting my Oscar in the mirror. So, it's a dream come true. Oh my God, I made it. Pinch me. But what has been way more impactful for me is the larger meaning…. When another woman or another woman of color has a win, I feel like it's my win. I feel like it's a ceiling breaking open. And so, the nominations, even the win, really feels like it's not mine. It's like something becomes more possible."
Read Tracee's Glamour feature in full here.
Olivia Jade is a writer and creative engineer, intersecting wellness, culture, womanism, and self-development. She waters the flowers in her mind so others can recognize their own internal garden. Link up: @akaoliviajade (Twitter and IG) oliviajade.co
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Summer Travel Guide: 9 Safest Vacation Spots For Black Women
When it comes to planning and choosing our international travels, there’s one question that is bound to come up: “Is it safe for Black women?”
At times, our travel plans can be halted by whether or not our desired destination is safe not only for solo travel but for overall protection as women of color. We want to have fun, go on excursions, taste the food, and let our hair down, so the last thing we need on our minds is navigating microaggressions and worrying about our safety.
According to a report by The Mandala Research Firm, 17% of Black Americans take one or more international trips and travel locally more than six times per year. Even more exciting, 42% of Black Americans said they would spend more in 2020 on travel than in 2019 (pre-Covid), and 50% of Black adults (16% more than the general population) are more likely to travel to locations associated with their ethnic or cultural heritage. All of this goes to show that we’re not afraid to pack our bags and book flights to our heart's desire.
Our passion for travel and exploration highlights a growing desire to connect with a wide range of cultures while discovering new fresh locales. By choosing destinations with positive reputations for safety and belonging, you can enjoy your next adventure with peace of mind. And to help, we’ve provided a list of the best vacation spots to add to our travel bucket list.
1.Havana, Cuba
Known for its vibrant culture and welcoming locals, Havana offers a unique travel experience for you and your girlfriends. Stroll through the historic streets of Old Havana and immerse yourself in the lively music and dance scenes that make this city unforgettable.
2.Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Famous for its Carnival, stunning beaches, and warm hospitality, Rio de Janeiro is a lively and safe city to explore all year long. Don't miss a visit to the iconic Christ the Redeemer statue and the bustling Copacabana Beach for a true taste of Rio's energetic spirit.
3.Belize
With its beautiful beaches, diverse wildlife, and laid-back Caribbean vibe, Belize is a safe and adventurous destination for travelers. Discover the underwater wonders of the Belize Barrier Reef and explore ancient Lamanai Maya Ruins.
4.Paris, France
Who doesn’t have Paris, the city of lights, on their travel list? Renowned for its art, fashion, and iconic landmarks like the Eiffel Tower, Paris offers a blend of romance and safety for travelers. Wander through the charming neighborhoods of Montmartre and Le Marais, explore the Louvre, and indulge in the city's exquisite culinary delights.
5.Lisbon, Portugal
Portugal's capital city, Lisbon, charms visitors with its historic architecture, delicious cuisine, and welcoming atmosphere. Enjoy breathtaking views from São Jorge Castle and savor traditional pastries at the famous Pastéis de Belém bakery.
6.Bali, Indonesia
We’ve all seen the viral photos off the Bali coast and Gates of Heaven, so why not make it a reality? Famous for its lush landscapes, vibrant culture, and serene temples, Bali offers a safe and enriching travel experience in Southeast Asia.
7.Tokyo, Japan
Recently, the value of the Japanese Yen has seen a significant drop, making it the lowest it has been against the dollar since 1986, which also means that there’s no better time than now to make your travel plans to the renowned cultural hub.
8.Accra, Ghana
There’s no FOMO like the kind felt from seeing all the beautiful faces enjoying their holiday at Ghana’s Afrochella Festival, so let this be your sign to start planning the trip now. Often referred to as a welcoming home for the African diaspora, Ghana offers rich cultural experiences and a sense of belonging. Explore the vibrant markets of Accra and visit the historic Cape Coast Castle to connect with the nation's poignant past.
9.Seoul, South Korea
You may be surprised to find this city on the list, but for Black travelers, Seoul is said to be one of the safest and most exciting cities to travel to. There will be plenty to eat, buy, and experience from this city’s rich history and culture.
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Featured image by Klaus Vedfelt/Getty Images