

As someone who has been a naturalista for many, many years now (minus when I took a break to rock a modified mohawk and so I relaxed it), I would argue with just about anyone who didn’t think that very few things in this life will teach you more about yourself, your level of self-discipline and patience and how to figure out what works best, no matter what everyone else is doing, than our hair.
However, sometimes, when our tresses are not cooperating in the way that we think they should, while it can be easy to simply chalk it up to having a “bad hair day,” the reality is there could be some underlying health issues going on. Yep, even though it’s not discussed a ton, your hair can actually reveal a lot to you as far as your health is concerned.
Let’s tackle that today. Below are seven things that, if you’re noticing about your own locks, you might want to tend to more than just what’s growing out of the top of your head.
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1. If You’ve Got a Lot of Graying Going on…
You might’ve thought that stress causing hair to turn gray was just a myth; it’s not.What science has discovered is not only does stress have a tendency to compromise your immunity, but it also elevates a neurotransmitter known as noradrenaline, which can lead to melanocyte stem cell loss (those stems play a role in the melanin that is produced inside of our hair follicles) which can ultimately cause gray hair.
Althoughsome studies also reveal that it’s pretty normal for people of African descent to start going gray in their 40s, if you’re younger than that or you’re seeing more silver strands popping up than usual as of late, pondering if you’re allowing yourself to get stressed out (which would also include not getting enough rest) is definitely something that you should put some real thought into.
2. If Your Hair Is Shedding More than Usual…
If you’re losing somewhere between50-125 strands of hair a day, that’s perfectly fine.Hair runs on life cycles (each strand has its own), so shedding is a part of the process. On the other hand, if you’re seeing a lot more than that in your comb, pardon the pun, but you shouldn’t simply “brush that off.” Gaining over 20 pounds, hormonal fluctuations, stress, and recently giving birth to a child can all be the underlying cause for why you’re losing more of your hair. Also, a reason that shouldn’t be overlooked or underestimated is being anemic (or borderline anemic).
The reality is that when there isn’t enough blood in your system, your hair follicles are not able to receive the nutrients and oxygen that they need in order for your hair to thrive. So, if lately, you’ve been feeling extra tired or weak, you’re dizzy or lightheaded, you’ve got headaches out of nowhere, and/or you’re experiencing a shortness of breath and you’re losing hair strands, make an appointment to see your doctor ASAP.
If you’re anemic, that’s nothing to play with (Black people are over three times more likely to have anemia than white people, by the way).
3. If Your Tresses Are Dry and Brittle…
Not drinking enough water, not deep conditioning your hair (along with using a leave-in conditioner on wash days), using hair productsthat contain harsh chemicals, and not applying hair productsthat contain sunscreen — all of these things can ultimately cause hair that is both dry and brittle.So, can scalp infections, hormone imbalances, hair shaft disorders (likeMenkes disease), anda side effect of prescribed medication.
Speaking of prescriptions, if you’re on the pill, it’s worth noting that going on or off of it can cause dry hairand/or scalp (due tohormone fluctuations). So, if your hair seems to be extremely dry, no matter what you do, and you do happen to be on an oral form of birth control, speak with your doctor; they might be able to switch up your prescription for something that will be “kinder” to your tresses in the long run.
4. If Your Locks Seem to Be Thinning Out…
Many things areconnected to hair thinning: stress, poor diet, hairstyles that pull at your hair follicles, and permanent hair dyes and relaxers. However, it should also go on record that a hormone disorder calledpolycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) could be the culprit, too. Long story short, PCOS is what happens when your body overproduces certain types of hormones to the point where it can lead to cysts on your ovaries,irregular periods, abdomen weight gain, really oily skin, and excessive body hair — only not on your head (wild, right?).
The way that hair thinning reveals itself when it comes to PCOS is your hair parts may be inexplicably wider or you could have a bald spot on the top of your head. Anyway, if more than one of these symptoms is popping up, see your doctor. PCOS isn’t something that only Google can fix.
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5. If Your Hair Is Dull and/or Limp…
Does it seem that no matter what kind of product you put on your hair, it’s not able to hold any shine or keep a style for longer than a couple of hours? It could bedue to a nutrition deficiency. Yeah, if you’ve been sitting in drive-thrus more than cooking over your stove, the reality is that your hair may be suffering because of it. That’s because when you’re not getting enough protein, iron, zinc, or fatty acids into your system, it can either cause your hair to not look healthy or it can ultimately result in hair loss.
Your strands are made up of mostly protein, so definitelyget some meats, lentils, yogurt, eggs, and almonds into your body. Also, don’t forget about dark leafy greens and quinoa (iron), dark chocolate and whole grains (zinc), and salmon and walnuts (fatty acids).
6. If Your Hair Is Breaking Off Rather Easily…
I promise that if you go to YouTube and put “long hair” and “4 type” in the search field, you’ll see all types of Black women with long ass locks (like these womenhere,here, andhere). In fact, a part of the reason why I penned, “Looking For Hair Growth? It Might Be Time To Bring 'Blue Magic' Back” a few years back was to showcase that no matter what hair type you have, if your hair is growing out of your scalp, you can have long full, super healthy tresses.
The reason why a lot of us struggle with length retention is because due to our hair being naturally drier than some other ethnicities (because our curly texture prevents natural sebum from getting to the tips of our hair shaft), along with how some of us are too harsh with styling — so, our hair ends up breaking off about as fast as it grows.
While deep conditioning and handling your hair like it is silk will probably remedy this issue, if you’re already doing that and your locks still seem to be snapping off like twigs, you might want to see your doctor. Believe it or not, hypothyroidism is another underlying cause of hair breakage and hair loss.
7. If Your Scalp Is Irritated…
Your scalp is the foundation of your hair; so, of course, making sure that it’s healthy at all times is paramount. Although an itchy and irritated scalp could be connected to a dry scalp or dandruff (check out “Stop Scratching: The Differences Between Dandruff And Dry Scalp”), it could be pointing tomore complex health issues including eczema, psoriasis, folliculitis (inflammation of your hair follicles), seborrheic dermatitis and the autoimmune disease lichen planus. Most of these things require an official diagnosis from your healthcare provider or a dermatologist; however, a healthy diet and a low-stress lifestyle can definitely help to bring some much-needed scalp relief.
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If there’s one thing that all of us desire, it’s healthy hair. So, if no matter how hard you try, you’re struggling with reaching your goal, before spending more money on hair products, speak with your physician. Ruling out any underlying health issues will get you just that much closer to the hair results that you seek.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
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Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Does hearing the phrase, “you’re such a good girl,” during sex turn you on? If so, you might have a “praise kink.” When I hear the term praise kink, the church girl in me wants to immediately play “The Lady, Her Lover and Lord” while riding reverse cowgirl. But that’s not what is meant by the term praise kink.
A “praise kink” is a sexual fetish that focuses on overt praise, exaggerated compliments, and an outpouring of verbal affection.
What Is a Praise Kink?
The concept of praise kinks isn't new, but thanks to TikTok, a lot of people are now realizing they might identify as praise kinksters. Currently, the hashtag #praisek1nk is trending with 568.9 million views, with tons of creators posting about their love for compliments and words of affirmation during sex. I, too, love a good compliment during sex. I once had a lover sing my praises about how good I was at a certain bedroom activity. His affirmations gave me WAP, but does that categorize me as having a praise kink?
How To Know if You Have a Praise Kink
Just because you love receiving praise doesn’t mean you have a praise kink. Someone with a praise kink experiences an intense level of sexual excitement from being praised or verbally affirmed by their partner during sex. You might have a praise kink if hearing your partner tell you how pretty you are makes you cum or if the thing that makes sex go from good to great is hearing your partner's thoughts about how good you are at giving head. And if, during solo play, the thing that gets you all hot and bothered is recalling the times your partner called you a good girl, it’s probably a praise kink.
Generally, a kink is a sexual activity that is needed for someone to enjoy sex. When it comes specifically to praise kinks, if you need reassurance from your partner that you're sexy, or good in bed in order to orgasm, you have a praise kink.
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Examples of Praise Kink Phrases To Try With Your Partner
If you’re new to the term and looking to explore, you probably have questions about what phrases to use. It may take a lot of communication and some trial and error to figure out what phrases work best for you and your partner. Ultimately, the best phrases to use vary from person to person and are based on what sex acts you and your partner enjoy, or what parts of their body they like complimented.
To get you started, here are some generic praise kink examples to try out with your partner:
Praise Kink Examples:
- You're such a good girl/boy.
- You're so good at [insert skill].
- You look so hot when you [insert activity].
- Your [insert body part] is irresistible.
- You taste so good. I can't get enough of you.
- You just have the perfect [body part].
- Just like that… you’re doing so good.
- Who taught you how to be so good at [something?]
While many examples of praise kink involve specific verbal affirmations, praise can also come in the form of brief words or phrases like “yes,” “keep going,” or simply a moan. No matter what type you prefer, praise kink is all about finding what feels good and exciting, and turns you and your partner on the most.
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Originally published on November 4, 2022