September is bringing things full circle. This year has had a lot of ups and downs. There have been some major wins in the start, but there have also been a lot of moments of growth, some more uncomfortable than others. With September beginning in Virgo Season, with Mercury retrograde in Virgo, and Venus retrograde in September, there is a balance needed to be had with what is falling away and what is coming in.
The insights are powerful in Virgo Season, and there is also an underlying energy of pressure to get it together. Remember this time is not about overworking or overthinking and that the energy of the month is more about bringing things together and coming to positive conclusions.
September 2023 Horoscopes: An Overview
Venus officially goes direct in Leo on September 3rd and will remain direct in this fire sign until October 8th. Venus in Leo is inspiring, creative, and bold. Take what you have learned in love, especially about yourself in love, and use this energy to create more abundance and happiness in your life.
Jupiter goes retrograde in Taurus the following day, facilitating a different set of areas of growth and influencing finances as well as love. Jupiter will be in retrograde until December 30th, so the rest of this year is really about planning thoroughly financially while also setting your intentions and believing in miracles for yourself here.
On September 14th, there is a New Moon in Virgo, and this New Moon is bringing a fresh perspective. This is a time of harvest, and many will be seeing the manifestations they have been working on since springtime, bloom for them now. This Virgo Moon is here to create divine order and stabilize blessings.
With Mercury moving out of retrograde and going direct in Virgo the following day, the Virgo energy this month is creating impactful change, a new beginning, and much-needed closures of what wasn’t working. This is a month of turning a new leaf and standing in your power.
Finally, before the month ends, the Sun moves into air sign Libra, and Libra Season officially begins. Libra Season is different from Virgo Season as in Virgo Season, we are inspired to work, get it together, and take care of everything we have been putting off. In Libra Season, we are inspired to love, tend to our relationships, and create beauty and art in the world that Virgo Season helped us build and manifest.
On the last day of the month, there is a Supermoon in Aries, and just when you thought the energy was settling, some big changes and closures occur.
Keep reading to learn what September has in store for your zodiac sign.
September 2023 Monthly Horoscopes for Each Zodiac Sign
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
In September, you are being reawakened, Aries. This is an eye-opening month for you and a time when a big impact is being made in your life. You are seeing things in a new light, and you are spiritually evolving. Jupiter goes retrograde at the start of the month and highlights your financial zone. This month is the starting point of a four-month-long journey of defining your values, your integrity, and planning for the future.
Toward the end of September, the Sun moves into your 7th house of love, and you get some more time to spend on your relationships, your pleasure, and your heart. You are getting redirected this month and putting yourself on the path that is going to serve you and your goals the most. Before the month ends, there is a Supermoon in your sign, and you are truly breaking free and stepping into your power.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
September is a much-needed reality check, Taurus. You are getting the answers you are looking for, but it’s taking some time to adjust to new perspectives. What you thought was put in the past is being brought to your attention again, and thankfully, you are ready to put down the defenses and come to some important conclusions. Venus moving out of retrograde and going direct on September 3rd will be helping you facilitate that new beginning, especially in the home.
The most important transit happening for you this month is Jupiter in Taurus going retrograde from September 4th until December 30th. For the rest of this year, you will be unpacking, processing, and getting to know yourself better. Jupiter wants to open your eyes to more of who you are, and this time is all about showing up, using your voice, and honoring your multi-faceted, growing self. Surrender to the unknown, knowing the universe is supporting you every step of the way.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
A chapter is closing in your life this month, and you are ready for a change, Gemini. This transformation you are moving through in September couldn’t have come at a better time because you are tired of the emotional stagnation you have been feeling. Jupiter goes retrograde in your house of endings, healing, and closure this month for the rest of this year, and this is helping you heal. You are making sense of the patterns and stories that have been playing out in your life and are moving on.
Your ruling planet has been retrograde since late August and goes direct on the 15th of this month. With this breath of fresh air coming into your life in mid-September and a Supermoon in your 11th house of community and friendship the week following, you will have moments of freedom, connection, and acceptance that are profound. Even though you are moving through some changes that are, at times, uncomfortable, you can clearly see the good you are creating in your life as well this month.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
September is a month of happiness for you, Cancer. The Sun is shining, and you are elated with its beams shining on you. This is an inspiring month and a time when you are seeing the happy outcomes you have been wishing for. You deserve to feel good, to feel healthy, and to be in your power, and this month is reminding you of that. The New Moon, happening on September 14th, is a new beginning for you in regards to open communication, and you are liking what you are hearing this month.
Moving further into September, the energy shifts as the Full Moon occurs in your 4th house of home and family and helps you open your eyes to where you can gain more stability in life and where you can put more of your efforts. The key this month is to not let anyone steal your joy or your shine but to also give a helping hand and to use your newfound inspiration to help better the lives of others as well. Your life is expanding, and it’s beautiful.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
Your dreams are coming true, and it’s time to act as if it’s already so. Your belief systems are key this month, and your guidance is to focus on what you want and to believe and know that it’s yours. You have come so far and are reaching some important achievements and milestones this month, Leo. The month begins with Venus in Leo finally moving out of retrograde and allowing you more room to breathe in self-love rather than the self-criticism that has been more prevalent as of late.
Mercury is retrograde in your 2nd house of income and finances until September 15th, and once Mercury goes direct, you are seeing yourself in a better position financially than when you started this retrograde in late August. You are learning more about the importance of valuing yourself and your dreams this month and are overall seeing the positive progress that has come from you just believing in yourself and your vision for your life.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
Happy Birthday, Beautiful Virgo. The Sun is in your sign for most of September, and you are feeling the creativity, passion, and divinity in your life. New paths are opening up for you, and you are the perfect one to pave the way. You are inspiring others, shining your light, and creating experiences in your life that not only benefit you but those around you as well. The New Moon is in your sign this month on the 14th, and this further signifies the new beginning and magic you are personally bringing into your life this month.
September is a great time to manifest and focus on creating what works for you and what lights you up. With Mercury being retrograde in your sign for the past few weeks, you have had to deal with miscommunication, delays, and disagreements. Mercury goes direct on September 15th, and you are seeing things clearer than ever and communicating with more clarity and strength than before. Through the challenges you have been through, you have only come out of it stronger and more fierce.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
September is about protecting your energy and using your time wisely, Libra. You have figured out who and what you want in your life and what you don’t- and there is no going back now. The more you can choose yourself, choose your values, and choose self-love, the greater impact the decisions you are making can have. The energy begins to move into your sign this month, and the focus turns on you, however, it’s up to you what you do with it.
Libra Season officially begins on September 23rd this year, and you are done with moving mountains and are ready to enjoy the view at the top. You have shown yourself what is possible for you in life, and you have stood your ground on the things that are important to you. On September 29th, there is a Supermoon in your opposite sign, Aries, and you are coming full circle in love. What goes around comes around, and your good karma in love is coming around.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
September is a spiritual month for you, Scorpio. The month begins in Virgo Season, and you flow well with this earthly energy. You are focused on stabilizing your emotions and really understanding your thought processes and inner discoveries this month, and it’s serving you well. Jupiter has been in your 7th house for the past few months, opening your eyes in love and blessing your relationships overall. This benevolent planet goes retrograde at the beginning of the month, and you may be feeling more tested over the next few months to see if you have done the work here.
The decisions you have made and the paths you have walked have all led you to where you are right now, and you are making sense of it all this month in a more vulnerable way. You are lighting your way forward, and the New Moon on the 14th is inspiring you to new heights. Manifestations are appearing, and you are recognizing your power as a creator. Before the month ends, there is a Supermoon in your 6th house of health, work, and routine, and you are taking care of business as the month ends.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
This month is all about working smarter, not harder, Sagittarius. The potential for overworking or overthinking is likely this month, and you are being guided to take things one step at a time. You haven’t gotten to where you are now without your stamina and determination, and that energy isn’t going away now. With the Sun in your 10th house of career for most of the month, you are thinking about the legacy you want to lead right now.
Your ruling planet, Jupiter, goes retrograde this month and will be moving in retrograde motion in an area of your chart having to do with your daily life and well-being. Taking care of your health, planning thoroughly, and leaving room for growth in your working life is what this time is all about. A Supermoon is happening on the 29th before the month ends, and you are ready to focus more on love, your happiness, and the romance that you are being inspired by in your life right now.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
Success is yours this month, Capricorn. This is a dynamic, powerful, and abundant month for you, and your efforts are being acknowledged. Something is shifting in your life in September, and you are truly feeling appreciated for who you are. You are inspired by the beauty you see in others, knowing this is a direct reflection of yourself, and you are claiming your blessings in September. Own your power, own your purpose.
The New Moon happening this month is occurring in fellow earth sign, Virgo, and it’s creating a new sense of adventure in your life. You are not attracted to the norm right now and are ready to step out of the box, learn new things, and connect with people who support you. The Supermoon on September 29th will be closing a chapter in your life, and this chapter has to do with your home, family life, emotional well-being, and sense of security. This month is about balancing your home and personal life with your professional one and knowing there is a difference.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
September is all about patience, Aquarius. The work you have been putting in will show fruition, but more time and dedication may be needed this month. This is a good time to develop your skills and talents, expand your mind, and take intentional action on the things you are looking to grow in your life right now. With the Sun in your 8th house of commitment for most of the month, there is a lot on your plate, so remember to ask for help or support when you need it.
Mercury goes direct on the 15th in the same area the Sun currently is, your 8th house. With Mercury going direct mid-month, you are starting to see new developments, more ease, and greater balance in your close relationships. Intimacy feels like it’s blooming into something beautiful in your life, and you have been moving through an emotional transformation. Before the month ends, there is a Supermoon in your house of communication, and you can expect a message from the universe at this time. Listen to the guidance that is coming through for you this month.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
September is a month to take a step back, process, and gain some renewed energy before moving forward again, Pisces. Mercury is retrograde in your 7th house of love until mid-September, so for the first half of the month, you may be dealing with some communication challenges and a lack of understanding of the heart. Your love life is going through a change, but you need time to process and define what that is truly going to mean for you in the long run.
Jupiter, one of your ruling planets, is also going retrograde in September and will be moving retro in your house of communication until the end of this year. Jupiter overall will be helping you find your voice and encouraging you to take up space. Remember that sometimes being you is more important than being understood. There is a New Moon on September 14th, and this is a good time to set your intentions for where you want to see your love life and relationships head, where the support is in your life, and how you can grow with love.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
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- Venus Goes Retrograde This Summer, Here’s What This Means For Your Love Life ›
- Your August 2023 Horoscopes Are All About Release & Ushering Love Into The Forefront ›
- What Summer 2023 Has In Store For You, Based On Your Zodiac Sign ›
RELATED
Let me start this off by saying that of course, to a certain extent, the answer is subjective because it’s mostly opinion-rather-than-fact driven. However, I personally think that sex is hella impactful, which is why I hope that my personal breakdown will at least cause you to want to think about what you do, who you do it with, and why, more than you may have in the past.
Because although, at the end of the day, the physical aspects of making love, having sex, and f-cking are very similar, you’d be amazed by how drastically different they are in other ways…at the very same time.
Making Love
GiphyBack when I wrote my first book, I wasn’t even 30 at the time and still, one of the things that I said in it is, I pretty much can’t stand the term “make love.” Way back then, I stated that sex between two people who truly love each other and are committed for the long haul, when it comes to what they do in the bedroom, it’s so much more about CELEBRATING love than MAKING it. To make means “to produce” or “to bring into existence;” to celebrate means “to commemorate,” “to perform” or “to have or participate in a party, drinking spree, or uninhibited good time.”
The act of sex, standing alone? It can’t make love happen and honestly, believing otherwise is how a lot of people find themselves getting…got.
What do I mean? Tell me how in the world, you meet a guy, talk to him for a few weeks, don’t even know his middle name or where he was born and yet somehow, you choose to call the first time you have sex with him (under those conditions) “making love.” You don’t love him. You don’t know him well enough to love him. He doesn’t love you either (for the same reason). And yet you’re making love? How sway? Oh, but let that sex be bomb and those oxytocin highs might have you tempted to think that’s what’s happening — and that is emotionally dangerous. And yes, I mean, literally.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times before, that one of the reasons why I like that the Bible defines sex between a husband and his wife is by using the word “know” (Genesis 4:1) is because, well, I think that is what celebrating love is all about — we know each other well enough to know that we love each other, we know each other well enough to know that we aren’t going anywhere, and that knowing is what makes us want to celebrate that union by getting as close to one another and bringing as much physical pleasure to each other as we possibly can…as often as absolutely possible.
To me, that is what the peak of physical intimacy is all about — and the people who choose to use the term “make love,” it should be seen through this type of lens. When this type of mental and emotional bond comes together via each other’s bodies, they are amplifying love, enjoying love, embracing love.
Making it, though? Chile, the love has already been made. Sex is just the icing on the cake.
Having Sex
GiphyA few nights ago, I found myself rewatching this movie called Four of Hearts (which you can currently view on yep, you guessed it: Tubi). It’s about two married couples — one that is in an open marriage and another that isn’t although they somehow thought that sharing a night with the other couple would be a good idea (chile). Anyway, as one of the partners found themselves getting low-key sprung, the one they fell for said in one of the scenes, “It wasn’t a connection. It was just sex.” JUST. SEX.
Listen, when you decide to let a man put an entire part of his body inside of you at the risk of potentially getting an STI/STD or pregnant (because no form of birth control is 100 percent except for abstinence), it can never be “just sex” (somebody really needed to hear that too). At the same time, though, I got the character’s point because, if one or both people do not love each other or even deeply care for one another and/or sex is treated as an activity more than an act to establish a worthwhile connection and/or you and the person you are sleeping with have not really discussed what you are expecting from sex besides the act itself — you’re definitely not making/celebrating love.
Not by a long shot. What can make things get a bit complicated, though, is you’re doing the same act that “love makers” do without the same mental and emotional ties…or (sometimes) expectations.
You know, back when I decided to put all of my business out there via the piece “14 Lessons I've Learned From 14 Sex Partners,” now more than ever, I am quite clear that most of those guys fell into the “having sex” category. I wasn’t in the type of relationship with them where “making love” even made sense; however, because I was friends with most of them, we weren’t exactly f-cking (which I will get to in just a moment) either. We had a connection of some sort for the bedroom yet not enough to be together in the other rooms of the house.
We were really attracted and curious, so we decided to act on that. Oftentimes, the sex was good and so we rationalized that “having sex” was enough because if the friendship was, eh, “sound enough”, that we could justify the physical pleasure.
And y’all, that’s kind of what having sex is — it’s the limbo (or purgatory, depending on your situation) between making love and f-cking. The thing about limbo ish is it’s a lot like something being lukewarm: it’s not really one thing or another which means that it can completely blindside you, if you’re not careful (and totally honest with yourself as well as your partner(s)).
So, if you are contemplating having sex, I really — REALLY — recommend that you figure out how you feel, what you want (outside of the act itself) and if you are prepared for what “not quites” can bring. My mother used to say that the consequences of sex don’t change just because the circumstances do — and there is some solid “wow” to that, if you really stop to think about it.
GiphyAnd finally, f-ck. Although most experts on the word (and yes, there are some) agree that its origin is rooted somewhere within the German language (although some say that it might’ve come from Middle English words like fyke or fike which mean “to move about restlessly” or the Norwegian word fukka which means “to copulate”), you might have also heard that it is an acronym that once stood for “Fornication Under Consent of the King”; and there is actually some data that is connected to that as well.
Legend has it that way back in the day, in order to keep reproduction rates where a particular king wanted them to be, he would instruct his residents to have sex with each other — whether they were married or not (hence, the word “fornication” being in the acronym). However, because sex outside of marriage was taken far more seriously at the time, residents had to apply for a permit to participate so that the king could determine if things like their occupation and lineage would prove to be beneficial for the kingdom overall. F-ck: no love; just necessity. And although some believe this to be more myth than fact, what is certain is it was only over time that f-ck was seen as a profane/swear/cuss word — a word that was perceived to be so offensive, in fact, that between the years 1795-1965, it didn’t even appear in dictionaries.
Personally, when I think of this four-letter word, the first thing that actually comes to my mind is animals. Take a dog being in heat, for instance. That’s basically when a female dog is ovulating and wants to have sex the most. It’s not because they are “in love” with another dog; they are simply doing what instinctively comes to them — and since animals do not reason or feel at the same capacity that humans do, although they science says that many of them do experience pleasure when they engage in their version of sexual activity, it’s not nearly as layered or even profound as what we experience.
Let’s keep going. Another reason why f-cking makes me think of animals is due to the doggy style position. Hear me out. Ain’t it wild how, most of us pretty much know that the term comes from how dogs have sex, even though most animals have sex that same way — and think about it: Doggy style doesn’t consist of making eye contact or kissing while having intercourse. It’s “hitting from behind” without much emotional energy or effort at all. Just how animals do it. And so, yeah, f-cking does seem to be more about pure animal — or in our case, mammal — instinct. I don’t need to feel anything for someone, so long as the sexual desire is there. Hmph.
Something else that I find to be interesting about f-cking is how dictionaries choose to define it. Many of them are going to provide you with two definitions: “to have sexual intercourse with” and “to treat unfairly or harshly (usually followed by over)” and that definitely makes me think of another term — casual sex and words that define casual like apathetic, careless and without serious or definite intention. So, the dictionary says that while f-cking is about having sexual intercourse — just like making love and having sex is — it goes a step further and says that it can include being treated unfairly or harshly.
And although that can make you think of assault on the surface, for sure — sometimes being treated unfairly or harshly is simply feeling like someone had sex AT you and not really WITH you; instinct (i.e., getting off) and that’s about it. Yeah, the way this puzzle is coming together, f-cking seems to be more about lust and self and not much else.
Now That You Know the Difference, What to Keep in Mind
Y’all, this is definitely the kind of topic that I could expound on until each and every cow comes home. That said, here’s hoping that I provided enough perspective on each act to close this out by encouraging you to keep the following three things to keep in mind:
1. Before you engage in copulation, be honest with yourself about what you’re ACTUALLY doing — and that your partner agrees with you. You know, they say that our brain is our biggest sex organ and honestly, breaking down the differences between making love, having sex and f-cking helps to prove that fact. I say that because, although the sex act itself is pretty much the same across the board, you and your partner’s mindset can make the experience completely different. That said, if you think that you are making love and they think y’all are just having sex — stuff can get pretty dicey. Bottom line: communicate in the bedroom before attempting to connect outside of it. It’s always worth it when you do.
2. Yes, you can feel one way and do something else. I can just about guess what some of y’all are on: Shellie, we can love our partner and still just want to f-ck. If what you are saying is you can emotionally love someone and physically lust them and want to act sometimes on the lust without really factoring in the love — yes, I agree. Doggy style continues to be a favorite sex position for people, in general, and I’m more than confident that many of the participants polled are in a serious relationship. However, having lust-filled sex with someone who you know loves you is vastly different than doing it with someone who you have no clue what they think about you or you barely know at all. Y’all, please just make sure that you know…what you should know. Sex is too amazing to have a lot of regret after it.
3. Have realistic expectations about sex. Listen, so much of my life consists of writing and talking about sex that I will be the first one to say that it deserves a ton of props for what it is able to do, in a wonderful way, for people mentally, emotionally and physically. Yet again, I’m not a fan of “make love” because something that feels really good doesn’t always mean that it is good for you. Meaning, you’ve got to be real about what sex with someone will do to your mind and spirit — not just what it will do for your body. An author by the name of Gabriel García Márquez once said, “Sex is the consolation you have when you can't have love.” For no one, should this be a constant norm. Feel me? I hope you do.
____
One act. Three very different experiences.
It’s kind of wild that sex has the ability to create that — and yet, clearly, it does.
Please just make sure that you know which experience you’re signing up for.
So that you’re having sex (you know, in general) instead of sex having you. Real talk.
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Featured image by Giphy