When you hear a voice that moves you to tears, shouting, and standing ovation, you know you’ve got the makings of an entertainment phenomenon. Jekalyn Carr has already set herself on a path of icons, and she’s only 26 years old. Five Grammy nominations. Six Stellar Awards. Four GMA Dove honors. Two Billboard Music Award nominations. A Lifetime Achievement Award from President Joe Biden and AmeriCorps. An induction into the Women’s Songwriters Hall of Fame in Washington, D.C. There’s a clear path of connection, engagement, and excellence that can’t be denied.
Carr talked with xoNecole about what inspired her new self-titled album JEKALYN, the pre-concert self-care routine that sustains her and her voice, why she continues to pursue multiple passions while honoring her purpose in faith, and more.
xoNecole: What can fans expect from your new album, and what inspired the songs and vibe?
Jekalyn Carr: Growth and original Jekalyn Carr. It’s been four years since I recorded an album. Within that time period, I’ve been able to expand my mindset when it comes to music and understand that it is okay for me to tap into other styles. [The] message is still the same, and I love every bit of it.
With this album, I wanted to give people a bit of a different view of Jekalyn. Not just traditional but other things. Like we’re going to Jamaica on this album, gospel hip-hop, and other things. I really want them to see that and, most importantly, to give them the message that it is their time to stand on the mountain of victory and to declare their testimonies.
I think this is an album to reveal to you the heart of God for you and what He wants for you—even the song I released on pre-order, “God of War.” There are certain fights that God wants us to fight; however, when it’s beyond you, it’s on Him. And so, you have to understand he wants to go to war for you. Not only go to war for you, but bring you your victory. You just have to open up and allow Him to do that. In return, you are thankful and grateful.
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xoN: You have an amazing voice. When you chose to pursue entertainment professionally, what led you to gospel?
JC: I grew up in church, for one. And then No. 2, I just always loved it. I feel if I were to ever sing any song, I’m always going to just add, “Thank ya, Jesus!” [Laughs] I love singing this type of music that just really gives people hope.
xoN: And your songs are indeed inspirational and freeing! With a voice like yours and the success you've had, there must be a routine that grounds you. What are three must-do things you have to do before a performance, so you can get into worship and connection?
JC: Well, first, sleep. No. 2, definitely prayer. No assignment is the same. It’s always something different for each place where I am. And 3, hydrate. I gotta have a lot of energy going out on stage.
xoN: Your generation is revolutionizing how social is being used, and you have more than 830,000 followers on Instagram alone. As a gospel artist, what is your take on staying connected with fans using the platform? What’s your approach?
JC: It’s very important to stay connected. One of the biggest reasons is, I can’t go everywhere, however social media is everywhere. I’m able to stay connected to my followers all across the world. I think it’s very important. It’s also a sense of connection that you can’t explain.
You really feel like it’s your social media family. It hits differently. It helps you remain touchable, too.
Every now and then, I make sure I respond. I may not be able to respond to everybody, but [it’s about] just being open-hearted so that they know I am touchable.
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xoN: You’ve appeared in the Will Packer-produced film, 'Praise This,' you've launched Jekalyn Beauty, and you have your own radio show, 'Jekalyn Carr eFamily Affair Show.' Why did you choose to pursue these industries as well, and how do you balance it all?
JC: These are things I’ve always wanted to do and gifts that were in me. It was just a matter of time when I started to fully operate in them. I just believe in doing things at the right time. I started singing first, but it wasn’t until I started speaking that everything else fell in line for me, including my music, so that’s the same thing with fashion, with the TV, with radio. I love all things beauty, skincare, makeup.
I love all these things. It’s not that it hasn’t been there. I just like to wait for the right time to bring it to the world. It’s been going really great.
xoN: Specific to the beauty brand, what key things do you want it to be known for that stand out in the market?
JC: I was very involved in it. It’s bigger than having a product and just putting my name on it. I wanted a product that I can use, and that has helped me. I was using these products during the pandemic. Even when it comes to growing my hair and taking care of my skin, I wanted to make sure that this stuff works. We’ve been getting so much great feedback from it.
Anything I do, I like to be passionate about it.
Jekalyn's new self-titled album JEKALYN is out now.
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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