
It Girl 100 Class Of 2025: Meet The Empire Builders You Need To Know
She's a boss, and she's minding the business that pays her. Literally and figuratively.
Whether she's launching her next business venture, turning passion projects into paper, or building her side hustle into a legacy, she's proof that visionary women don't wait for a seat at the table. She builds her own, then pulls up a chair for the next woman. The empire-builders of xoNecole's 2025 It Girl 100 lead with purpose and profit, spinning their "why" into wealth.
This year's It Girl 100 is a mosaic of brilliance, spotlighting entrepreneurs, cultural disruptors, beauty visionaries, and boundary-pushing creatives who embody the spirit of "Yes, And." This digital celebration honors the women who embrace every facet of themselves, proving you can chase the bag and still honor your desire to live life softly.
The women repping for the Business category are empire builders shaping the next generation of entrepreneurship, as founders, investors, and CEOs, shifting culture while expanding their brands and their net worth.
Here's the roll call for xoNecole's It Girl 100 Class of 2025: Business.

Artist and Founder of GROWN Media Kaya Nova
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Kaya Nova
Her Handle: @thekayanova
Her Title: Artist and Founder, GROWN Media
Who's That It Girl: Kaya Nova is the artist-entrepreneur whose voice bridges melody and empowerment as the founder of GROWN Mag and GROWN Media. We celebrate her for turning her artistry into activism, creating music and experiences that honor womanhood, vulnerability, and the beauty of becoming your full self.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm multitalented and I'm powerful beyond measure."

Founder and CEO of Vineyard Icon Erin Goldson
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Erin Goldson
Her Handle: @eringoldson
Her Title: Founder and CEO of Vineyard Icon
Who's That It Girl: We are inspired by Erin Goldson, brand marketer and founder of Vineyard Icon, a platform celebrating Martha’s Vineyard culture and creativity. She blends strategy and community building with effortless polish to turn ideas into impact.

Founder and CEO, My Happy Flo Necole Kane
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Necole Kane
Her Handle: @hellonecole
Her Title: Founder and CEO, My Happy Flo
Who's That It Girl: Necole Kane is a media mogul and entrepreneur who founded NecoleBitchie.com and xoNecole.com. She now leads feminine wellness brand My Happy Flo, advocating for women's hormonal health through plant-based supplements and holistic solutions.

FORVR MOOD Co-Founder and Content Creator Jackie Aina
Credit: Kirstin Enlow
Jackie Aina
Her Handle: @jackieaina
Her Title: FORVR MOOD Co-Founder and Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: A trailblazer who changed the face of beauty forever, Jackie Asamoah built a legacy on authenticity and advocacy. We love her for redefining luxury through inclusion and for reminding women everywhere that self-care is a radical, joyful act.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm owning my power and finding balance in it."

Founder and Investor Shannae Ingleton Smith
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Shannae Ingleton Smith
Her Handle: @torontoshay
Her Title: Founder and Investor
Who's That It Girl: Shannae Ingleton Smith is President and Co-founder of Kensington Grey, an influencer agency representing 200+ creators. A former media sales executive, she now invests in creator-led startups, including 12PM Studios.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I’m breaking ceilings and expanding the table."

Founder of LORVAE De'arra Taylor
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De'arra Taylor
Her Handle: @dearra
Her Title: Founder of Fashion Brand LORVAE
Who's That It Girl: We celebrate De'arra Taylor as the founder and CEO of LORVAE, an eyewear brand built on reinvention, confidence, and bold individuality. Her creative direction turns sunglasses into statements and community into a lifestyle.

Founder of The Lip Bar Melissa Butler
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Melissa Butler
Her Handle: @melissarbutler
Her Title: Founder of The Lip Bar
Who's That It Girl: Melissa Butler transformed The Lip Bar from a kitchen concept into a multimillion-dollar movement. We honor her for challenging industry norms and proving that boldness, beauty, and business brilliance can coexist unapologetically.

Director of Cultural Strategy & Innovation Denetrias Charlemagne
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Denetrias “Dee” Charlemagne
Her Handle: @dcharlemagne
Her Title: Director of Cultural Strategy & Innovation, Walmart
Who's That It Girl: A powerhouse behind purpose-driven partnerships, Denetrias Charlemagne bridges culture and commerce at Walmart with grace and innovation. We honor her for amplifying representation in retail and using her platform to build spaces where authenticity and excellence thrive.

Chief Brand Officer at Unrivaled Kirby Porter
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Kirby Porter
Her Handle: @kirbyporter
Her Title: Chief Brand Officer, Unrivaled
Who's That It Girl: Strategic, visionary, and driven by impact, Kirby Porter is building the future of athlete branding. We’re inspired by her as the founder of New Game Labs and Chief Brand Officer at Unrivaled, showing that strategy can be soulful and sport can be storytelling.

Founder and CEO of EveryStylishGirl Nana Agyemang
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Nana Agyemang
Her Handle: @itsreallynana
Her Title: Founder and CEO of EveryStylishGirl
Who's That It Girl: A journalist turned founder, Nana Agyemang built EveryStylishGirl to amplify Black women in media. We love her for opening doors, building pipelines of opportunity, and using her voice to change the face of modern storytelling.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm a boss and I'm still soft."

Vice President of Content at ESSENCE Nandi Howard
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Nandi Howard
Her Handle: @itsnandibby
Her Title: Vice President of Content, ESSENCE
Who's That It Girl: We are inspired by Nandi Howard, Vice President of Content and Editorial at ESSENCE. Her leadership elevates Black culture with clarity and celebration and shapes the stories and standards that move audiences.

Founder of Sisters In Media Oladotun Idowu
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Oladotun Idowu
Her Handle: @ola_idowu
Her Title: Founder of Sisters In Media
Who's That It Girl: We celebrate Oladotun Idowu, entertainment marketing leader at Campari Group and founder of Sisters in Media, for bridging brands and culture while championing women of color across media. Strategy and purpose guide her work.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes I'm walking into rooms with boldness and grace knowing that God has way more in stored for me."

Founder of Fortune & Forks Krystal Vega
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Krystal Vega
Her Handle: @krystalvega
Her Title: Founder of Fortune & Forks, Multimedia
Who's That It Girl: Krystal Vega’s work lives at the intersection of innovation and influence. We celebrate her as a next-gen entrepreneur shaping digital spaces where women of color lead confidently, create fearlessly, and build legacies beyond the screen.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm that girl and so are you."

Founder of Fortune & Forks Naomi Wright
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Naomi Wright
Her Handle: @naomiwrighttt
Who's That It Girl: Naomi Wright leads with style, purpose, and power. We’re inspired by her for building platforms like Fortune & Forks that merge beauty, business, and bold self-expression, proving that influence can be both impactful and intentional.

Entrepreneur and Podcast Host Emma Grede
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Emma Grede
Her Handle: @emmagrede
Her Title: Entrepreneur and Podcast Host
Who's That It Girl: Emma Grede is CEO and co-founder of Good American, and founding partner of SKIMS. She's a podcast host and the first Black female investor on ABC's Shark Tank.

CEO and Founder of TFNA Entertainment & Sports Management Kia Brooks
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Kia Brooks
Her Handle: @kiajbrooks
Her Title: CEO and Founder of TFNA Entertainment & Sports Management
Who's That It Girl: Entrepreneur and mother, Kia J. Brooks leads TFNA Talent Agency, representing top athletes and creatives. She’s known for breaking barriers, negotiating record NIL deals, and empowering others to build generational wealth.

Sports & Entertainment Brand Manager Des Dickerson
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Des Dickerson
Her Handle: @itsurdestinee
Her Title: Sports & Entertainment Brand Manager and Media Strategist
Who's That It Girl: Des Dickerson is a sports and entertainment brand manager and media strategist who works with top athletes and entertainers to elevate their platforms. She is recognized for creating innovative partnerships and driving visibility in sports and entertainment.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I build opportunities for athletes and entertainers and I transform them into lasting influence."

President of Collective Edge Management Shayla Cowan
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Shayla Cowan
Her Handle: @shayla_pc
Her Title: President, Collective Edge Management
Who's That It Girl: Shayla Cowan is an award-winning producer and President of Collective Edge. She's produced blockbuster films including Girls Trip and Beast, championing boundary-pushing storytellers and innovative artistry in entertainment.

Co-Founder & CEO of Fearless Fund
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Arian Simone
Her Handle: @ariansimone
Her Title: Co-Founder & CEO, Fearless Fund
Who's That It Girl: Arian Simone champions women of color in venture capital. She advocates for economic justice, investing globally in women entrepreneurs and addressing funding disparities rooted in racism and sexism through resilient, purpose-driven leadership.

Founder of Global State of Women and Seed, Valeisha Butterfield
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Valeisha Butterfield
Her Handle: @valeisha
Her Title: Founder of Global State of Women and Seed
Who's That It Girl: Valeisha Butterfield Jones is a globally recognized leader in tech, entertainment, and politics. This year, she created the Global State of Women platform, providing emergency grants to women facing high unemployment rates.
Founder and Content Creator Ava PearlCourtesyAva Pearl
Her Handle: @avapearl
Her Title: Founder and Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: Ava Pearl is the founder of Curly Culture and Curly Con LA, initiatives that champion natural hair and foster community within the beauty industry. As a beauty and lifestyle content creator, she is dedicated to creating impactful content that inspires authenticity, confidence, and self-expression.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I’m rooted in authenticity and rising with purpose."
Now that you've met the ladies about their business, see who else made our list. Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by xoStaff
They say you can’t heal in the same place that made you sick. And I couldn’t.
The year was 2019, and I knew I had to go. My spirit was calling me to be alone and to go alone. It was required in that season. A few months prior, I had quit my job. And it was late 2017 when I had met trauma.
I was completely broken, and every part of me hurt. I was no longer the lighthearted Camille that everyone loved and knew me to be. I remember a family friend saying, “You’re not the same.” And I wasn’t. I no longer recognized the girl looking back at me in the mirror. I needed major healing.
It was 2018 when I found the courage to seek mental health therapy. At that point, I knew there was nothing more that my friends could do for me. I was all cried out, and the silence was killing me. At the time, I was diagnosed with clinical anxiety, depression, and PTSD. How?
How did I let trauma take complete control of my life? But I had to forgive myself for all the things I did not know.
At the time, my therapist introduced me to journaling as a coping mechanism. Words ultimately became my best friend. In many ways, I would like to think that writing saved me. I am in love with words, and I always have been. My writing was and still is my safe space. It unlocked opportunities I never imagined – like writing for xoNecole.
And with this gift, I can now tell you a story about my own trauma, healing, self-discovery, and the journey to learning how to celebrate myself.
Starting a Healing Journey
In early Spring 2019, I was told by a Reiki healer that I was going to embark on a journey. She told me it was going to be lonely, but I was never alone. The thing is I never once mentioned to this woman my travel plans. It was August 2019 when I planned my solo trip to Europe. It was going to be 38 days alone on a continent I knew absolutely nothing about. By the end of summer and a nine-hour flight later, I touched down in London.
I fell in love with every single thing. I fell in love with everything I could see – colors, cobblestone streets, spiral staircases, adorned windows, architecture, garden terraces, nature, and people. I fell in love with everything I could hear – accents, language, history, and music. I fell in love with everything I could taste – wines, foods, and desserts. I fell in love with everything I could feel – ocean breezes, white sands, and well-designed buildings. I fell in love with everything that fed my soul. People, stories, and connections. I fell in love with myself.
I traveled to England, Portugal, Spain, France, and Italy. And with every conversation and every connection I made – I found healing.
I always say women have the ability to heal others naturally. It was here in my travels that I started to pay attention to the concepts of purpose, connection, energy, alignment, and universal signs. I began to truly realize not only my strengths and universal gifts but also how to use them too. I started to step into my authentic self. I began to realize who Camille really was. A free spirit with a heart of gold.

Courtesy of Camille Ali
A New Season
By the time I had returned from Europe, it was late Fall 2019, and I was a completely different person.
I spent most of my time pouring into myself. Self-development and self-love became key. Everything that I previously settled for in family, friends, and relationships – I went and gave to myself. Read that again. I became completely in love with who I was becoming, and I still am. I had let go of tradition, conditional beliefs, people pleasing, and living my life to make my parents proud.
I had let go of being a “straight arrow,” and the idea of having it all figured out. I outgrew tradition and cultural norms. Sometimes, those things can be so blinding.
I began to shift. I adopted and altered the things that aligned with my purpose and values.
I became risk-tolerant instead of risk-averse.
I canceled my fears.
I welcomed uncertainty, knowing I would always land on my feet.
This newfound level of confidence came out of nowhere. It was no longer a question of if I can do this. The question became, how can I do this? I stayed open to possibilities and opportunities in whichever form they came to me. I became selective and intentional with my time and energy, too. I went from being a 9 to 5 government employee, then a corporate consultant, to a small business owner not once but twice by 2021.
If you ask me who I am now, I would say I am authentically a creative. I write from my heart, and I speak from my core. My voice is my power, and my words hold weight. By trade, I am a paralegal and a business consultant.
How Trauma Shows Up in the Body
Even though I was able to heal my heart, my mind, and my spirit, I wasn’t quite done healing. And I didn’t even know it. In the last seven years, I gained weight. This was a direct result of a broken heart, emotional trauma, mental health issues, stress, and poor lifestyle choices. I was a good 50 pounds overweight, too. I knew something was wrong with my body when it stopped responding to my dietary and lifestyle efforts.
I started to advocate for my health in the winter of 2022 to get clarity and answers. I sought the care of medical specialists, asked the right questions, requested second opinions, and tested and retested my blood. Not one doctor could properly diagnose me, either.
When Western medicine failed me, I chose holistic medicine. What I learned and what I understood was that my physical health issues were a straight-up trauma response. I cried. I was always conscious about my health, and now I’m sick with Hashimoto’s thyroiditis. Yes, PTSD triggers and is linked to autoimmune diseases.
I remember thinking, “I did this to myself, and I have to fix it.”
I spent the majority of 2023 detoxing with Chinese herbs, making every lifestyle change possible. My body was holding on to dead weight – it had to go for me to continue to become.

Courtesy of Camille Ali
Celebrating Myself
Summer 2023 couldn’t come any faster. I completed my holistic detox with sacrifice and ease. While everyone saw just a “body transformation,” for me, it was an emotional release.
I was no longer reminded of what transpired. I cried again.
There were so many days, months, and years that I thought I would never get me back. And I believed it. I mean, who wouldn’t? Medical experts adamantly told me that there was nothing wrong with me. All I wanted was to feel like myself again. I missed me so badly.
I looked for me everywhere. I couldn’t find her until I paused and did the inner work.
I wouldn’t change one thing about my healing journey. It all had to happen so I could be in this current moment. And this girl right here – I know exactly who she is. I know what she stands for through and through. And I’ll never stray from that.
I’ve grown so much, yet in some ways, I’m rediscovering who this girl is again. It’s so intoxicating.

Courtesy of Camille Ali
Returning to Europe
I have always wanted to go back to Europe. Europe is a magical place to be. It's the energy, the people, and the lifestyle for me. But the timing wasn’t right. It took the wedding of a close friend of mine to make my return happen. I returned to Europe in August 2023. This time to Greece.
At first, I didn’t realize the significance of the timing. But make no mistake, this was alignment, a full circle moment, and a testimony to myself. I started a healing journey in August 2019, and I returned as a completely different person this year.
Happy, whole, and healed. Resilient and confident.
I knew I was meant to share a pivotal moment in my friend’s life and celebrate myself. My word for 2023 was joy, and I wanted all of it. More importantly, I deserved it.
I fell in love with everything all over again. Everything that I can see, hear, smell, touch, and taste, that is. I created moments and memories. And I felt each moment and memory deeply in new places and with new faces. Greece owed me absolutely nothing. Europe will always and forever have a special place in my heart.
My five-year healing journey taught me to always choose myself. I am grateful because my entire journey brought me home to myself. And one thing about me is that when I am in the right environment — I thrive. Always.
The journey to self-discovery is worth the uncomfortable moments and ugly crying. It’s worth the undoing, redoing, and reprocessing to finally come to a place of happiness, peace, and being comfortable in your own skin.
Featured image by Shutterstock
Originally published on October 4, 2023
Whitney said it, right? She told us that if we simply learned to love ourselves, what would ultimately happen is, we would achieve the "Greatest Love of All." But y'all, the more time I spend on this planet, the more I come to see that one of the reasons why it's so hard to hit the mark, when it comes to all things love-related, is because you first have to define love in order to know how to do it…right and well.
Personally, I am a Bible follower, so The Love Chapter is certainly a great reference point. Let's go with the Message Version of it today:
"Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, doesn't have a swelled head, doesn't force itself on others, isn't always 'me first,' doesn't fly off the handle, doesn't keep score of the sins of others, doesn't revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. Love never dies." — I Corinthians 13:4-8 (Message)
Yeeeah buddy. If some of us were really real with ourselves, based on this definition of love, we'd admit that we've got a ton of work to do when it comes to how we love other people. But what about when it comes to self-love? Since the Word also tells us to "love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22:39), what does it look like to bestow such a powerful emotion on our own being? How can we all make self-love a way of life?
This is something else that I'm kind of figuring out as life goes along. But as I'm becoming more and more intentional about loving me, I do know that the following 10 things have started to resonate in stronger, realer, and more profound ways than ever. How do you check out on the following self-love checklist?
1. Self-Care Is an Absolute Must
If you've been hanging with us long enough, you know that we are BIG on self-care over here (see "5 Self-Care Gems To Keep In Mind On Your Professional Journey," "The Fundamentals Of Self-Care When You're Young, Black & Woke" and "Self-Care Isn't Supposed To Be Pretty"). The reason why we feel that self-care should be a top priority is basically found in the word itself. Care is all about consideration, affection, and regard. Since you're the one who you are around the most, why wouldn't you want to honor yourself in these kinds of ways?
I've got friends who will be the first to help someone else out, but then they will turn around and feel guilty about getting a mani/pedi or a massage. While that might seem like humility on the surface, what it actually means is they think others should get more from them than they should give to themselves. That's not a sign of self-love; that's actually an indication that some internal love is lacking. There is nothing irresponsible, selfish, or unnecessary about self-care. If it's not already a part of your life routine, take this as a sign that it should be. Take it as a step towards loving yourself, that much more.
2. Your Intimate Circle Is Safe, Loving and Loyal
If you watched Sex & the City as much as I did back in the day, you might recall a scene where Carrie declared that she was a masochist. As she was talking about the constant roller coaster that was her and Mr. Big, she said, "He might be the one beating me, but I'm the one who keeps tying myself up." (Metaphorically-speaking, of course.) Oh, how I can relate! I tell my "love nieces" (young women who are family through love, not blood) and my goddaughters that the only thing worse than a bad boyfriend is bad platonic female friends. The. Worst. They will have you out here doing all of the work, questioning your value, and never knowing exactly where you stand. In short, they will have you being your own masochist.
When you grow up around a certain amount of toxicity, you tend to believe that dysfunction is normal, no matter how much you loathe it. That's how a lot of us end up in friendships and relationships that also mean us no good; they feel familiar even though we know we deserve better. But the more you focus on you and less on "them," the more you are willing to release what doesn't model the kind of love that you desire in your life. That leaves room for people who are committed, trustworthy, and safe. Yes, when you love yourself, your relationships reflect that love. There's no doubt about that.
3. You’re Not Addicted to Attention (Online or Off)
Although I'm not the biggest fan of the phrase "attention whore" ("whore" is a bit harsh, if you ask me), there is an article on Thought Catalog entitled "10 Signs You're A Social Media Attention Whore" that brings up some good food for thought. Some of its signs included buying followers, baiting shout-outs, pressuring your friends to like or comment on your posts, triggering folks and feeling like no picture is worthy of getting posted unless you don't have any clothes on in them.
Social media can be an awesome tool. Some of us wouldn't have been able to grow our brand or network at the level that we do without it. But it's one thing to use social media; it's another to be totally consumed by it (research reveals that 210 million people are social media addicts, by the way).
People who love themselves don't feel like the world is coming to an end if Instagram and Black Twitter were to shut down tomorrow. They can go a few days without putting up a selfie. They are able to go on social media fasts without having a nervous breakdown. And, when it comes to life, in general, they are not constantly conjuring up ways to get attention. They love themselves enough that all of the "extra" simply isn't necessary.
4. You Enjoy Spending Time Alone
On the heels of what I just said, another sign that you love yourself is you know how to be alone with you. Totally alone. That said, there's a married couple I know who hasn't been alone with one another, in their own house, for at least four years now. Whenever someone needs a place to stay, they let them stay at their home. While on the outside, that might appear to be altruistic, the couple also fights a lot, has a pretty sucky sex life, and the husband is ever rarely home. Now does it seem like a good thing? Sounds to me like the traffic in their house is a distraction from the cracks in their relationship. Single folks who don't know how to be alone may have cracks in their relationship with themselves.
People who always have to be at someone else's house or even at a club or in the mall, they could seem like an extrovert on the surface. But even healthy outgoing people will tell you that sometimes they prefer to recharge in the quiet and comfort of their own home.
The only people who don't really get how someone can spend a weekend at home without other folks being around are either the ones who've never tried it before or they are the ones who don't like, let alone love, themselves enough to sit in silence with their own thoughts. And you know what they say—"If you don't love you, why should you expect anyone else to?" I'll add to that and say, "If you don't want to spend intimate time with yourself, why should others seek it out?"
5. You Embrace Your Strengthens. You Know Your Weaknesses.
Where some people mess up in the self-love department is they lack self-awareness and/or self-compassion. This can manifest in all sorts of ways. One way is they may not know what their strengths and weaknesses are. As a direct result, other people are able to take advantage of the due to their lack of self-knowledge. For instance, I know that a strength of mine is how I give to others. A weakness of mine is not always being able to see a person's motives out of the gate. When I wasn't aware of this, I constantly found myself in codependent situations or giving more than I was getting in return. Now that I'm aware of my strength and weakness in this area, my discernment is much keener. Plus, I'm able to give more freely because I know the difference between giving to help a person out and giving to a friend who will hold me down in return.
Another benefit of knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are is you can manage your time more wisely. What I mean by that is this—a wise man once said that if you devote all of your time to trying to make your weaknesses better, you may end up only being "average" in those areas. But, if you spent that same amount of time developing your strengths instead, in those areas, you could end up being supernatural.
None of us are perfect. All of us have areas where we are phenomenal and areas where we are lacking. Self-love teaches us to embrace the strengths while still offering self-compassion (which means not beating ourselves up) as it relates to our weaknesses.
6. A Relationship Is Surplus. Not a “Void Filler”.
Some of y'all are not going to agree with what I am about to say, and that's totally okay. Hmph. Come to think of it, that actually is another sign that you love yourself—you don't need other folks to co-sign on your views and perspectives in order for you to feel good about them. That said, I'm not someone who sees anything wrong with a woman feeling like she needs a man in her life (or a man feeling like he needs a woman). In this context, a need is simply something that she wants or finds essential in order for her to be content in certain facets of her life.
What will garner major side-eye is if she is needy for a man. When you're needy, you feel destitute, and that tends to be one step away from desperation.
When you really and truly love yourself, you tend to look at a relationship from the standpoint of someone coming into your life to share all of the love that you already have. And, if that love comes tomorrow or five years from now, you're good because all a significant other will do is add to the already abundant life that you are already living. When a woman loves herself, a man doesn't fill any voids. He is coming into a space that is already overflowing. (Try not to drown in it, bruh.)
7. You’ve Got a Signature Style
Earlier this year, we did a feature on someone whose wedding I attended back when she and her husband lived in Nashville (they were both virgins, by the way. How cool is that?). Her name is Brandi Sellerz-Jackson. What we covered was Brandi's life as a doula. But what else she could've easily been interviewed on is her one-of-a-kind style.
Personally, I am a bigger fan of style than fashion. What I mean by that is I dig the kind of people who rock what they want to, regardless of what the industry says is in or out. I am drawn to the folks who are able to put things together in a way that is super-unique and then can walk with the kind of confidence that says, "I know I am an original. Deal with it."
When I say that loving yourself is about having a signature kind of style, I don't just mean when it comes to the clothes that you wear or make-up that you apply. One of my favorite definitions of style is "the way in which something is done". You've got a way that you go about doing you that is like no other. You are comfortable and confident in your individuality. And it resonates in just about everything that you do. If this ain't a form of self-love, what is?
8. You Are Envious of—and Threatened by—No One
Envy is evil. Full stop. I feel so strongly about it that I penned "5 Signs Your Closest Friends Are The Most Envious Of You" and "How To Stop Envying Your Favorite Celeb's Life." The main thing that I hate about envy is that it's all about wanting what (or who) someone else has. It's all about being discontent with your own life; so much so that you waste time, you become resentful, and you very well could end up not living out your own purpose because you're so caught up in what other people have going on.
Envy is also awful because, basically, it encourages you to act like God was looking out for others more than he was looking out for you. As if that's not bad enough, if you feed into it too much, it will have you feeling insecure, like everything is a competition and/or everyone is out here to get you. Envy is stifling. People who love themselves are intentional about avoiding it at all costs.
9. Aspiration—Not Desperation—Motivates You
I'm pretty sure we're all heard that desperate times call for desperate measures. But more times than not, I totally disagree. I'm more in a lane of another quote that says, "Don't let desperate situations make you do desperate things." To be desperate is to be "reckless or dangerous because of despair, hopelessness, or urgency". I have done all kinds of stupid things because I was desperate when it came to "love" (that's in quotes on purpose; true love won't require you to be reckless or dangerous), finances and sometimes, even when it came to so-called friendships.
But what's amazing about the word "desperate" is it actually reveals how to avoid it via the act of self-love. When you love yourself, you do not feel like you are in a state of despair or hopelessness; there is a positiveness and optimistic state that love brings out of you that keeps you from totally going there. Something else that I've learned self-love does is it slows you down. You don't want just anything, just to say that you have something. Because you know what you are truly deserving of—both professionally and personally—you can wait for "it". Because you are worth the wait. And that is what causes you to move based on what inspires you. Because of that, desperation isn't even on your radar.
10. You Celebrate Yourself. OFTEN.
Let's end this article with, "If you don't celebrate yourself, you don't love yourself enough." Think about it. Just by the mere fact that you are the only person who ever has been or ever will be just like you, is that not enough of a reason to honor, commend, and revel in yourself? I certainly think so. But if you need more inspiration than that, when you reach a goal, celebrate it. When you make a decision in the present that you know will be right for your future, celebrate it.
When you remove toxicity from your life, celebrate it. When you take a risk, celebrate it. When you see growth in a particular area, celebrate it. Celebrate by toasting yourself with your favorite bottle of wine. Or making plans to go on a trip. Or taking a private day to do nothing but whatever it is you want to do.
You will know that you've graduated to another level of loving yourself when celebrations become the norm. When you are so proud of the woman you are, that you can help but to relish in it. This is the kind of self-love that is precious. Make sure you get to a place where it's very familiar to you. You, my friend, are worthy.
Feature image by Shutterstock
Originally published on November 3, 2019









