Running On Empty? How To Push Through Your Day When You're Just Not Feeling It
There will be times in life when you don't feel motivated to do something. It might be because you are burnt out and over-extended or because you are depressed and feel a lack of drive and energy to push through and tackle certain tasks or responsibilities. Either way, showing yourself grace and compassion when you're running on empty and having a low moment is essential for your healing, and if you are trying to figure out how you can do that, here are six practical tools to try:
Honor the space that you are in.
Being human means that you will have hard days, and one of the best things you can do to heal is to honor the space you are in. Sometimes we face difficult things in life, and our mood matches that. It's unrealistic to expect ourselves to always be on or happy, or full of joy. Growth looks like allowing yourself to be human.
Co-regulate with an emotionally safe person.
Co-regulation is when we use someone else's nervous system to regulate ourselves when in hyper-arousal (anxious, panicked, debilitating fear) and hypo-arousal (depression, numbness, empty). When we co-regulate, the neurons in our brain mirror the other person as it becomes in tune, and this helps cultivate a sense of safety and connection, enhancing our mood. Make sure you are co-regulating with an emotionally safe person.
Engage in healthy escapism.
Sometimes, checking in and investigating every feeling can be challenging, and sometimes you need a healthy distraction. Having a Netflix account isn't that bad, after all. Healthy escapism is when we engage in healthy practices that distract us from difficult and painful thoughts. The key here is to ensure you are distracting yourself with something that is nourishing for your mind and body.
An example of unhealthy escapism is drinking alcohol to cope with stress. Alcohol is a mood enhancer and can sometimes worsen symptoms of anxiety and depression. Make sure you expose yourself to things that bring you closer to healing, not further away.
Journal your thoughts.
Sometimes we need to clear our minds and get our thoughts out on paper; this is where journaling can be handy. When we are depressed or have a low moment, our minds might be filled with intrusive thoughts that need to be challenged. Writing them out can help you see clearer and work as a brain dump to help increase your mood.
Engaging with nature's healing properties.
This is your reminder to open your blackout curtains every morning when you wake up. We live in an isolated world where it's easy to become a homebody due to remote work, which means the more we are at home, the less we interact with nature. Exposure to sunlight can increase your vitamin D levels, and going for walks can help release endorphins, which in turn helps to boost your mood and energy levels.
Remember gratitude.
Gratitude is a beautiful, energetic experience that allows us to be present with ourselves and focus on what we can control and what makes us feel good. Did you know that 80% of our daily thoughts are negative? This means we are wired to focus our gaze on what's going wrong as a natural inclination, and we have to force ourselves to shift our mindset and see that everything in life is not as bad as it seems. Gratitude requires intentionality. Take time to reflect on daily things you are grateful for to bring greater purpose into your life.
Healing requires patience with ourselves, especially when we are having a low moment. Practice these tools daily, and remember to be compassionate toward yourself as you navigate the season of life you are in.
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This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
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The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Exclusive: After Focusing On His Career For So Long, David Banner Is Now Ready To Find A Wife
During the Fight Night: The Million Dollar Heistpremiere, David Banner, who stars in the film, opened up about his weight loss and his desire to get married and start a family. At 50, David has accomplished many feats, from rapping, producing, and acting, and now he's ready for the next phase of his life. "I want to get married," he tells xoNecole.
"I'm tired. I want to find my wife, have some kids. We chase all of these esoteric goals, and sometimes we look back, and we left the things that really matter. I looked up one day, I had all of them, the music accolades, the film accolades, not all the ones that I want, but a lot of them. I had accomplished my goal, had chased my goal so long that when I looked up, I saw that I ran off and left everything else."
He also shares how working in the entertainment industry can sometimes affect his life and relationships with others. "We forget to be human beings, and people don't allow us to be human beings," he continues. "So, that's the reason why I said what I said, because I know what y'all platform means, and I want people to know that there are still some human beings that's up on that camera, and sometimes we hurt too."
Back in 2016, the "Like a Pimp" artist released the single "Marry Me" and shared in an exclusive interview with us how he is working on becoming his best self for his future wife.
"I just want to be the man that most Black women want to marry. I want to be a Black man that stands strong," he said. "I'm not perfect, but [I want to be the man] women want to marry and that kids want to be their father. I want to be that man. [When I die] I want people to say that that's a strong African man, I am proud that he's a part of my culture."
During our most recent interview with the "Get Like Me" rapper, he also revealed that he lost 35 lbs and dished on how important it is to take care of your body. "I have this thing that I want to be our children's superhero on the screen and off, and people always talk about mental health, but part of your mental health is what you put in your body," he says.
"People always talk about God. People always talk about the church, but the real church is your body, your temple. So I am treating my body and my temple as if God is in there."
Fight Night is out now on Peacock.
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