

Let's face it. Many of us aren't strangers to student loan debt. Black students in particular are disproportionately impacted by it, with the average carrying the burden of $7,400 more than their white peers. And sis, it's not just those of us making an OK salary or even those of us living check to check who have to consider how to pay off student loans. Even "well-off" adults are borrowing more.
More Black women are also completing degrees, so there's the added aspect of more borrowing among us, especially when we come from majority-Black communities. Let's face it: The numbers support the fact that we will definitely do whatever it takes to finance our education and those of our children.
With that being said, nobody wants to be in debt. There's always that shadow of wage garnishment lurking and just the heavy mental burden of owing somebody that sits well with no one. (I know I'm not the only one with that nagging voice of a parent or grandparent in their head, saying, "Don't ever let people hold money over your head. You better pay your debts and keep your accounts in good standing!")
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If you're among the thousands of us who have student loan debt, and you're trying to figure out the best plan of action, we've got you covered. Sonia Lewis, CEO of The Student Loan Doctor, started a coaching and consumer advocacy service after dealing with her own experience with debt. "I was broke, so I actually was just trying to help myself when I initially started. When I was going through my own journey, I took a financial literacy course at church, and I realized that everyone did not have the common knowledge of what to do about their student loans," she said.
After taking care of her debt, she began helping others, and word of mouth led to the growth of clients. The Philly entrepreneur, who spent a decade working in higher education and knew the ins and outs of admissions and financial aid, now has a network that includes six coaches and three admins. Below she offers the real tea on how you can set a plan for saying goodbye to student loan debt and hello to financial freedom.
Scenario 1: You're a new graduate and dealing with student loan debt for the first time.
Lewis: First, log into the student aid or private lender's Website and verify whether the information is correct. Did you borrow this amount? For example, there could be a duplication of loans for a certain semester, or let's say someone took a semester off [and they find that] they've still been charged. So, it's good to verify the information.
The second thing would be to look into your repayment options. What's really cool about the StudentAid.gov site is that it's been revamped recently. You can literally plug in your information and [find out your options]. A person could [consider], 'I make this much,' 'I take care of this many people,' 'I'm eligible for forgiveness,' or 'I'm about to apply for this type of job.' When we talk through these scenarios [with clients] it relieves stress because when calls start, everybody's shaking and nervous because [the debt] can be a lot of money. So just walking through it and letting them see what's available helps. It's really cool when the person feels comfortable to click through themselves via a Zoom call [and figure out] what they want to do.
At that point you're not pressured to do anything. If you want to move forward you can, but some may say, 'Let's pause here. I need to lower my bills first.' Some are really honest and say, 'Hey I can't afford [to repay]. I need to get another job.' And then they'll figure out how to navigate that process. So it just depends. Some have home-buying goals, and you know, your loan must be in repayment if you owe over $50,000. Sometimes that goal might fast-track the process because maybe they need a preapproval for a house they want. So now we're having a conversation of what to say to the lender and what type of letter they need to furnish to the lender.
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Scenario 2: You've been out of school for years and the debt—plus interest—has been piling up.
We have [clients] who have six-figure debt and they're like, 'OK, I have never paid my loan, and I'm really scared.' Interest has accrued, they may have more responsibilities like a mortgage or a car note, and now, we have to work backwards. We ask, 'How much do you have available to make a payment?' Oftentimes that starts with a budget. We can talk about payment plans all day, but if a person says, 'Hey, I only have $300,' now we have to figure out what can work and fit at that amount.
That payment plan might not be what I advise them to do because they might be paying for 25 to 30 years [at that rate], but let's say they could've made a $500 payment and got rid of the debt in 10. If you're able to cut expenses or increase income, we definitely advise people to consider that.
That makes people feel a little more empowered because they have the money to do something and they know where they can begin in order to afford to pay off the debt.
Scenario 3: You've been offered a settlement.
For a federal loan, at that point, 9 times out of 10 the loan was sold to a third-party collector, [however], the collection agencies still have to report back to the federal government. With a private loan, if [the debt is] sold to collections, it's [usually sold to] a separate agency. If you receive a settlement offer, make sure that it's for the full amount because you don't want them to try and come back and sell the difference to another collection agency—federal government or not.
Second, consider that a settlement can really hurt your credit. For example, there are some people who may have a strategy where they default on the loan just to get a settlement because that's the only time the government will offer one. I don't recommend that. It's going to really damage your credit, and particularly if you're a millennial or younger, you may not want that damaging mark on your credit in case in the future you want to get jobs that require certain security clearances [or other requirements]. If you take that settlement, that's you committing to a default on the loan.
This happened to a good friend of mine. He [took a settlement on a student loan balance] for $50,000. His parents helped him pay it. Years later, he went to get a contract job with a tech security company. They were going to pay him $300,000 [annually], but they got to the last stage and had to withdraw the offer because [he could not get] the highest security clearance he needed because he defaulted on that federal loan. He was about to go from making $60,000 to six figures, in one day.
This is why we have to be careful about proposing settlements and really coaching clients through that because we don't know what fields they might want to enter into. A settlement is just something that can't be reversed.
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Scenario 4: You've defaulted on your loans. Now what?
They can either pay in full, settle (which we just discussed), or [agree to] a consolidation if they're eligible. A consolidation is the act of putting all your loans together and the interest is the average sum total of all of your loans. You'll have one payment, one new loan. Another option, which is what we really tell people to consider first, is to rehabilitate.
The default rehabilitation program allows you to make, in good standing, 9 out of 10 payments, and those payments allow you to have the collection agency see and determine what you can pay. Most times, especially during this pandemic, we've seen people get a $5 payment.
The thought might be 'Well, I want to pay more on my loan,' but we don't want to pay a collection agency more. We want to pay the minimum in which we agreed to, because, if you were to default or stop [paying according to] the agreement, all the money you paid, until your debt is returned to a lender, goes back into [covering] the collection fees.
So, people are quick to pay more but that money is a threshold that goes to the fees first. The fees get removed once you're out of rehabilitation [which is after the 9 consecutive on-time payments that were agreed upon]. So, you definitely want to stay on top of it.
Let's say you're enrolled in the program to pay $5 on the first of every month. Be sure you set an alarm to look into your account and make sure the amount was indeed taken out. Some collectors are slick, and in the agreement, it says it's your responsibility to [keep track] of your payments. You're thinking because you're on auto pay for $5, what's the worst that can happen? They'll take their money. No, sometimes they don't.
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'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Yes, Spring Fever Is A Very Real Thing. I've Got Some Tips For How To Manage It Well, Tho.
Now that the spring season is officially here (can you believe it?!), let’s talk about something that tends to come up quite a bit yet you may have wondered if it’s just a saying or popular myth: spring fever.
I don’t know about you but when I heard it while growing up, it was always in the context of a relationship — you know, “Shellie, you’re just thinking about that boy because you’ve got ‘spring fever.'” However, because I enjoy knowing the origin story of hell, just about everything, I’ve discovered over time that not only is spring fever an actual phenomenon, although it can affect your romantic life (as well as your libido), it has the ability to impact you in a few other ways too.
So, before we look up and — boom — we’re just a few weeks away from summer (because that really is how this year is going, y’all), take a moment to learn more about spring fever and how you can actually make it work for you in ways that you may not have ever even considered before.
Spring Fever. What Is It All About?
A fun fact about me is I was born in Lincoln, Nebraska. If you add to that the fact that my mother is a New Yorker, perhaps that is why my favorite times of the year are fall and winter (check out “There Are Actually Scientific Reasons Why So Many Of Us Adore The Fall Season”) — including the fact that, yes, I like it cold and dark. Oh, I so enjoy cuddling up in cable-knit blankets in a room that is filled with candles. It is absolutely my thing.
In fact, I hate that I didn’t plan better this year, so that I could take a vacation to Colorado during this month since, reportedly, March is when a lot of the state tends to have the most snow. And if you add to that the fact that I am a bona fide ambivert — listen, if anyone is perfectly content with spending most of my time indoors (my house, specifically) with a cup of hot chocolate and a book or a good movie…she is I and I am her.
Still, that doesn’t mean that, over the past week or so, I haven’t felt the urge to get out more than I typically do. And from what I’ve read, that is probably due to, yep, spring fever — a time when many people feel more restless and/or like they have more energy than usual. And although it’s not technically a medical condition, many experts on the topic say that spring fever should be taken quite seriously.
The main reason is because when daylight savings time “springs forward,” it gives us extra daylight. When that happens, it actually has an impact on your circadian rhythm (the pattern that your body experiences every 24-hour cycle). There are actually pros and cons to this because while, on one hand, “losing an hour of sleep” can up your stress levels (including when it comes to your heart) which is a con, more sunlight also has a way of increasing your serotonin levels which is a pro. You see, serotonin is one of the “feel-good hormones” in your body that causes you to feel happier; it also makes you want to stay awake for longer periods of time.
Something else about spring fever that has some science to back it: You do tend to take a bigger interest in dating and sex (even though fall is reportedly the best time of year for copulation — check out “Did You Know Fall & Winter Are The Best Times To Have Sex?”). There is actually a pretty scientific basis for why this is the case (that you can read here). For now, I guess the best way to explain it would be that sunlight hits your optic nerve which influences the part of your brain known as your pineal gland. When that happens, less melatonin is produced and, since melatonin can actually lower your libido — there you have it: suppressed melatonin can increase your interest in flirting, dating, and intimacy, and being out in the sun more helps to make all of this happen.
Not to mention the fact thatother reports have stated that spring is a time of the year when people tend to be more body image conscious too. Since layering season is gone and yet it’s not quite time to pull out a bathing suit (check out “These 12 Tips Will Make You Feel More Confident In Your Swimsuit”), springtime is a time of preparation. And since you’ve got all of that extra energy — and potential dating interest — spring fever can help to make you more focused on getting your body in the shape that you want it to be in over the course of the next few months.
A final thing about spring fever — it may causeyour moods to be a bit…erratic. That makes sense when you really stop to think about it because spring weather tends to be the same way with all of its roller-coaster ride temperatures, “April showers” and whatnot. So, more than usual, you may feel like you want to hang out for hours with friends one day and then not even want to answer your phone another — which is pretty much a reminder that spring is a season when you should really listen to your mind, body, and spirit to see what it needs.
5 Ways to Handle Spring Fever (So That It Doesn’t Control You)
Okay, so now that you know that spring fever isn’t just a saying, that it actually has some solid truth to it, here are a few tips that can help to keep it from throwing you off course:
1. Be intentional about stabilizing your moods. It’s not good enough to know that certain things will impact your moods in a random way and then do nothing about it. And since spring fever may have you a bit all over the place, eat foods that will help to make you feel better (check out “In A Bad Mood? These Foods Will Lift Your Spirits!”), look into supplements that will boost your moods (like probiotics, magnesium, and vitamin D), and do some meditating outdoors. The combination of sunlight and deep breathing can do wonders.
2. Get on a sleep schedule. More sun really can throw your sleep patterns off, so you might want to consider putting your body on a sleep schedule. Y’all, I actually read that spring is the season when heart attacks and strokes increase, in part, due to sleep deprivation — so please don’t be out here thinking that just because you may not feel like sleeping that you don’t actually need to. YOU. DO. (Check out “12 Monthly Sleep Habits To Transform Your Rest In 2025”).
3. Exercise…even if it’s in baby steps. There are a billion reasons why we all need to exercise, no matter what time of year it is; however, if the body image thing is really on your mind, there are so many ways to get your body toned up. Jumping jacks, lunges, squats, mountain climbers, bicycle crunches — these are all things that you can do from the comfort and convenience of your house. And walking around your neighborhood either before work or after dinner (or both), especially now that it’s warmer — that is a cool way to get some cardio in. Anyway, Healthline has a helpful article on this topic. Check out “30 Moves to Make the Most of Your At-Home Workout” when you get a chance.
4. Date with a “sober” mind. A wise person once said, “Feelings don’t have intellect.” Yeah, don’t get me to preachin’ up in here (again) about just how much I hate the saying “Follow your heart” when the Good Book clearly says that the heart is deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9-10). For now, let’s just leave it at this: You get that science says that your urge to, umm, entertain more, may increase right now. Just make sure that you don’t just “go with the flow of your feelings”. Bring some common sense, street smarts, and even patience to the table. Springtime is just one season. Make choices that will make the rest of the year awesome as well.
5. Put all of that extra energy to wise use. You already read that feeling restless is pretty normal these days; that doesn’t mean that you’ve gotta do reckless things, though. The way that I see it, extra energy can help you to make some plans, reach a goal (whether it’s long-term or short-term), or try something new that you’ve always wanted to do. Bottom line: just because spring fever may have you feeling like you’re all over the place, that doesn’t mean that you can’t cultivate some real direction. Use this time to make you end this year in a way that makes you smile. All because you used spring fever…instead of allowing it to use you!
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