

Million-Dollar Investor Match-Makers Talk Banking On Women And The Power Of Partnership
Dr. Tracy Timberlake and Vivian Olodun are living proof that when women join forces, major boss moves are afoot. Olodun, a serial entrepreneur, luxury real estate-industry vet and author, teamed up with Timberlake, an entrepreneur and strategist in her own right, to co-found Flourish Media Co., a boutique marketing firm, and the Flourish Media Conference, an event held annually in Miami, offering resources including investor matching for women entrepreneurs.
They have reportedly forged the path for raising $15 million for women-led businesses, a feat sparked by simple conversation and action.
Courtesy of Vivian Olodun
“We believe greatly that being able to have access to money and funds gives you freedom and flexibility and it’s something that we believe that people who look like us don’t necessarily have that luxury. It’s unfortunate because it is available to them,” Olodun says. “We believe in supporting women in business because investing in women helps communities, helps homes, helps children, and helps move and drive things forward.”
Timberlake echoes those sentiments. “When I was doing my study for my dissertation, which was primarily focused on women in business—online businesses in particular—and just looking at just the statistics and the economic benefit of having women-owned businesses succeed, economically for this country, it has been documented over and over again.”
Photo courtesy of Dr. Tracy Timberlake
The women have a passion for not only helping other women entrepreneurs succeed but promoting the power of finding your tribe, expanding connections, and opening doors for access to funding and resources needed to succeed.
“When a woman gets access to money, she tends to allow for more flexibility in the people she hires and to take into consideration the mental health and the overall well-being of her employees,” Olodun adds. “She tends to invest in other women and people who look just like her. We all know that there’s a significant gap in wages and earnings between men and women in our society and when women are supported, they tend to take steps to correct that. Again, women are just a smart investment.”
This is where true networking comes in. Both Olodun and Timberlake have been able to not only be an asset but build and keep solid relationships with investors and business advancement advocates who want to literally put money where growth and lucrative progress is evident.
“We make it our business to [put] ourselves in a money conversation, and that makes it possible to introduce people to those who need the funding,” Oloduon says.
“We have had lots of different kinds of businesses pitch to investors, from a wellness facility to a candle company, so it goes to every industry and every discipline. One of the most interesting parts of having these investors—personally Vivian and I had separate businesses and then came together to start Flourish Media–one of the investors actually invested in my business.
"Most people wouldn’t think that. I went through the entire process with the investors—-showing them the books, showing them the numbers, and what has happened is that it allows for us to have a better conversation with businesses coming to pitch.”
For young women seeking to find investors for their busineses, these co-founders recommend the following:
Be deliberate and take bold action in going for investment opportunities. “Don’t reinvent the wheel. Put dubs on that baby. Make it better. Open those conversations and put yourselves in rooms where you can connect with those people who are senior to you so you can learn from what they’ve done. Then do it better.”
Take steps to legitimize your business. “[Investors] are looking for you to have things like a team. We think that being a solopreneur or being able to bootstrap ourselves is some kind of badge of authority or that’s somehow attractive,” Olodun says.
“Being able to have the appropriate legal documents is very attractive. Go to your local authority and make sure your business is registered legally. Make sure you have a business bank account. These are basic things that give you a leg up when you’re talking to investors.”
Network across but balance those efforts by also networking upward. “While there’s value to comradery and people who are your peers, finding a room of people more successful than you is valuable,” Timberlake adds.
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Featured image via Flourish Media Co.
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From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
Featured image by skynesher/Getty Images