

Now, this is an interesting topic to explore. If you're checking this out while you're actually supposed to be finishing up a project at work, the Cliffs Notes version answer to if it's okay to love a man more than he loves you is "yes". But if it were as simple as that, this wouldn't be an entire article, would it?
Let's begin here. A couple of years ago, while standing in a wife's kitchen and complimenting her on how well her husband appeared to love her, she said something that came across to me like she had a tinge of arrogance mixed in with a dash manipulation—"The key to a happy marriage, Shellie, is to make sure your husband loves you, at least a little more, than you love him."
Is it? Is it really? I mean, I'm not married and she is, so maybe that (somehow) works for her household. Although, I can't help but wonder what her husband would've said had she not been whispering so that he couldn't hear her say what she said.
I've known this couple long enough that I remember them when they were dating. On some levels, she really did run him through the ringer as she kept raising the ante as a way for him to "prove" his love for her. *sigh* I dunno. A quote that I made up years ago is "Love should be a gift, not a bribe" and so, to me, when we're using the word "love" in the context of plotting, planning and strategizing, something feels a little…off.
That's why I say that if there's a man whom you love more than he loves you, no, I don't think that it's wrong. It's simply how you feel. However, at the same time, I think the better question, the one that really gets to the core of the issue is, "How should you act when you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you love a man more than he loves you?" When you are totally into him and either he's not into you as much (yet) or he's not into you in the same way as you're into him (because there are different kinds of love, after all).
Now that we've unpacked what we're really trying to get at, let's dig in.
As a woman who has loved and watched other women love, I absolutely, totally and unapologetically LOVE the way we do it! When a woman loves a man, it's fully. It's thoroughly. It's intensely and intently. On so many levels and for so many reasons, it's one of the most beautiful things to witness on this entire planet. Because it is so precious, sacred and powerful, I fully believe that it should be esteemed as the eighth wonder of the world—something that requires effort to be seen so that it can truly be appreciated for what it is.
Unfortunately, because the love that we give comes from within us, even we as the vessels of love, can take it for granted. Whenever we go above and beyond to express how we feel, we don't see it as potentially being too much (or too much too soon) because, like breathing, we're just doing what we know to do.
What's the problem with that? It's this: When we take our own selves for granted, it sometimes sends the message to others that they can mistreat, or at the very least underestimate, what we're offering them. As a result, the care, the time, the forethought that we put into making them feel seen, adored and valued, they don't always revere it. And when a person doesn't honor love while it's in action, they typically end up doing the opposite—abusing it. And since the love comes from us as a primary source, this ultimately means that, on some level, they end up abusing us in the process.
Believe you me, I know of what I speak. There is one man from my past that I loved. Love, love, love, love, LOVED. Although he told me that he loved me too and some of his actions, some of the time, backed his declaration up, because I clearly loved him more, he received the royal treatment while what I got was more like…a guest of the royal court. On special occasions, he would do some pretty over-the-top things, but that really was far and few between. However, because I loved him so much, I found myself living for those, what I call "blue moon moments" and then "rewarding him" for what he did by going above and beyond the rest of the time…until the next time.
It took me quite a while to catch on, but what I eventually came to realize was loving him more than he loved me wasn't the problem. Treating him like he loved me as much as I loved him was.
Shoot, I'll take it a step further—acting like I should overcompensate for his lack of expression of love until he caught up (or caught on) was even more of the issue.
So now that we're here, what's the difference between loving someone more vs. expressing it? And why is expressing it something that you really should reel back in?
Here's an example. I once knew a long-distance couple who both loved each other. I had heard each of them express the sentiment. However, I saw some red flags coming from a couple of miles away when suddenly, out of nowhere, the woman picked up and moved to be in the same state as the guy. Two years later, she resented him because he didn't propose marriage. In fact, their relationship didn't make any more progress than it had when they were living states apart. She eventually moved, broke up with him and met someone else. She's been married to the new/next guy for over 15 years now.
My point? She could've easily loved the first fella from the comfort and convenience of where she was originally staying. She didn't have to leave her job, friends and the city that she also loved. If it was on the table to do that at all, it needed to be once she and the guy discussed together that her moving was something that they both wanted, with the intentions of taking things to another level—not eventually but sooner than later.
See what I mean? The fact that she moved without getting clear on if it was something that she and he could both get excited about meant that she loved him more than he loved her. However, the issues really only arose out of her acting on her love before it was truly time.
So, to me, the bottom line would be this—if you love a man more than he loves you, don't beat yourself up about that. You feel what you feel and, whether he realizes it or not, he is in the presence of greatness. But until he expresses the level of love that you have for him to you—on his own without any prompting, nagging, manipulation or ultimatums on your part—pull back a bit on allowing your actions to show him just how big and deep your love goes.
He's already blessed that you love him at all. Let him appreciate that by displaying some reciprocity—first.
In the meantime, while you're trying to exhibit some self-control so that you don't do more than you should, revisit the lyrics of one of my favorite DeBarge songs, "Love Me in a Special Way". It'll hold you accountable:
Love me now 'cause I'm special
Not the average kind who'd accept any line that sounds good
So, reach into your chain of thoughts try to find something new
What worked for you so well before for me it just won't do
Your love is special. Not average. Let him simmer on that for a while. If he's paying attention, he'll catch up…without you having to run after him (some of y'all will catch that later).
Featured image by Getty Images.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Feature image courtesy
Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Relationship Timeline
Sterling K. Brown and Ryan Michelle Bathe are one of our favorite Hollywood couples. We can't get over their adorable moments together on the red carpet and on social media. While they're both from St. Louis, they didn't meet until college, which they both attended Stanford. And the rest is as they say, history. Read below as we dive into their decades-long relationship.
Mid to Late1990s: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Meet
Sterling and Ryan met as freshmen at Stanford University. "We were in the same dorm freshman year...that's kind of how we met," Ryan said in an interview with ET. "I was mesmerized," she said after watching him audition for the school play, Joe Turner's Come and Gone. Sterling revealed that The First Wives Club star was dating someone else, so they started off as friends.
"She got cast in the play as well, and we would ride bikes to rehearsal, and we would just talk. We found out that we were both from St. Louis. We didn't know that we were both from St. Louis, like, our parents went to rival high schools. We were born in the same hospital. Like, we were friends," he said.
The first few years of their relationship involved many breakups and makeups. However, they ended up graduating and attended NYU's Tisch Grad Acting Program together.
Early 2000s: Sterling K. Brown Tells Ryan Michelle Bathe She's 'The Love Of My Life'
The Paradise star opened up about telling Ryan that she was the one. "We broke up for three and a half years before we came back into each other's lives," he said. "She was on the treadmill working out, and I had this epiphany, 'I have to go tell this woman she's the love of my life.'"
"I go to her apartment, I tell her, and she's like, 'Well, I'm working out right now,' and I was like, 'No, I can see that—I'll just talk to you while you're on the treadmill,' and she's like, 'Well, I feel like going outside. So I'm gonna go on a run,'" he continued. "So I'm like dressed [in a suit], and she starts running through Koreatown, and I start running along with her. Brother had to work, but it was well worthwhile."
2006: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Tie The Knot
The St. Louis natives eloped in 2006 and a year later held a larger ceremony. According to the bride, the best part of their wedding was the food. "The best thing about it was the food," she told ET.
"Can I just say, sometimes you go to weddings, and you get the winner-winner chicken dinner and you're like, 'I pay. OK, it's fine.' But I wanted people to remember their experience -- their culinary experience. So I was happy about that. The food was good."
2011: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Welcome Their First Child
In 2011, Sterling and The Endgame actress welcomed their first son, Andrew. In a 2017 tweet, Sterling revealed they had a home birth. "An unexpected home delivery is something my wife and I went through ourselves with our first born, so this was round 2 for me!" he wrote while referring to a scene involving his character Randall, in This Is Us.
2012: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Appear On-screen Together
A year later, the couple acted together on the Lifetime series Army Wives.
2015: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Welcome Their Second Child
In 2015, Sterling and Ryan welcomed another son, Amaré. Sterling shared an Instagram post about their latest addition to the family. "1st post. 2nd child. All good! #imoninstagram," the Atlas star wrote.
2016: Ryan Michelle Bathe Joins Sterling K. Brown On 'This Is Us'
Ryan guest appears on her hubby's show, This Is Us.
Sterling K. Brown Reveals Ryan Michelle Bathe's Mother Didn't Like Him At First
During their sit-down interview for the Black Love series, Sterling revealed that Ryan's mother wasn't a fan of him, which caused friction in their relationship.
2024: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Explain How Jennifer Lopez Once Broke Them Up
While visiting The Jennifer Hudson Show, Sterling and Ryan share their hilarious Jennifer Lopez break-up story. "We had just gone out, we were living in New York City, we were in grad school, and we had gone to see a Broadway play and we came back to my place and my roommate was playing the ["Love Don't Cost A Thing"] video on MTV," Sterling said.
"Now I'm a fan of Jennifer Lopez's dancing, and I was watching the video and I knew my young...21, 22-year-old girlfriend was looking at me watch the video. And I know I'm not supposed to have a reaction. In trying NOT to have a reaction, what had happened was, my eyes began to water."
Ryan jumped in, "Otherwise known as, TEARS! I turn around and my boyfriend is weeping, tears like big fat [tears]. And I'm looking and she's just a shakin' and a shimming, and he's just crying. I said 'Oh no, I got to go.' "
2024: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Launch Their Podcast, We Don't Always Agree
The couple launched their podcast, We Don't Always Agree, where they disclose more intimate details about their love story.
Feature image by Chelsea Lauren/Shutterstock