

I Did Everything You’re NOT Supposed To Do On My First Solo Travel Adventure
I looked back at the hotel, once, then twice, truly questioning if I was going to abandon all of the rules I had set for myself prior to leaving for my first solo trip. I had watched Taken, received countless lectures about the dangers of solo traveling as a young single woman, was fully aware that what I was about to do could backfire in my face, and yet, here I was throwing all of my self-preservation and home-training out of the window.
"Are you coming?" he asked, opening the car door for me.
"Sure!"
Let me preface this article by explaining that I'm typically not a reckless person nor do I advocate for intentionally putting yourself in harm's way, but an overwhelming amount of the research and "do's and dont's" I received prior to leaving for my trip seemed too stringent for this particular vacation. While most "rules" were grounded in ensuring my overall safety, I did not want to travel to a mainstream, touristy location. I did not want to solely interact with the guests in the hotel. I did not want to just stay by the pool the entire trip.
Whether I was going alone or taking others with me, I was going. I wanted an adventure! And, boy, did I have one. Here are 5 solo travel rules that I broke on my first trip to Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, that ultimately led to me having one of my favorite vacations so far:
“Stay on the premises around the resort.”
Courtesy of Lydia Lee
The funniest part about this first rule is that I actually believed I was going to stay put all weekend. Prior to my trip, I had researched the hotel spa and all of the wonderful amenities on the grounds and pictured myself relaxing and winding down from all of the craziness that is New York City.
Fast-forward one hour into my trip, I had already met someone by the pool and we were making plans to explore the Colonial Zone of Santo Domingo.
To me, the best part about solo traveling is that you have total autonomy over your free time. No more waiting for your girls to get ready. No more skipping museums because your friends don't like history. No more sharing a messy hotel room with multiple people. If you want to socialize and explore with others you can, but if you want to rest and relax by yourself, no one is stopping you.
Tip: As great as the hotels and resorts are, don't be entirely against exploring the local areas. The true culture of a city you're visiting often is not fully realized when solely staying in the hotel. If you're nervous about exploring by yourself or going with someone you recently met, try scheduling a walking, bike, or bus tour on Viator.
“Don’t leave the hotel with people you don’t know.”
Courtesy of Lydia Lee
The #1 rule I seemed to receive from most people prior to embarking on my solo trip seemed to revolve around the very real dangers of sex trafficking and date rape.
While not to be taken lightly, I met a guy from Toronto who was around my age, was in the DR on business, had a car, and also wanted to explore – all within one hour of arriving at the hotel. Conventional wisdom should have led me to decline exploring a foreign country with someone I barely knew, but for better or worse, his vibe seemed genuine. I trusted him.
Throughout the time I was there, we went onto explore the colonial ruins of the Santo Domingo, went shopping in local markets, listened to local music performances, and later drove an hour away to take a day trip to the beach in Boca Chica. Had our time together gone sour or I actually ended up in a dangerous situation, perhaps I would feel differently about interacting with men I don't know. But, for this particular trip, it made the difference.
Tip: Trust your gut. If someone or something makes you uncomfortable, steer clear. But, if you happen to meet someone and the vibe seems right, and most importantly, you feel safe, don't entirely discount leaning in.
“Foreign cities are dangerous. Avoid interacting with the locals.”
Courtesy of Lydia Lee
Particularly in regard to Santo Domingo, I read a lot on the city and reputation before this vacation. My decision to travel to Santo Domingo was primarily cost driven – my flight was only $240! But, unlike other cities in Puerto Rico and Costa Rica, the travel reviews I read on a number of blogs were less than favorable, especially in regard to safety.
This just might be me, but I feel like every city is "dangerous" in certain areas. Whenever I tell people from my hometown that I live in Brooklyn, they ask if I feel safe since it's supposedly "dangerous". As with any urban metropolis, I often ask people who actually live in a respective city to tell me where to explore and which areas to avoid. Using suggestions from Dominican staff and visitors at the hotel, I then tailored my list of places to visit in Santo Domingo, and it turned out great.
Prior to my trip, I wasn't expecting to love the local culture as much as I did. My family is originally from Jamaica and I felt a surprisingly comparable vibe between parts of Santo Domingo, DR and Kingston and Spanish Town, JA where my parents are from. Like Kingston, a large majority of the city is black or of some variation of black descent, and I really felt like I belonged (when I wasn't speaking Spanglish of course). I would ask questions, try different types of foods, and attempt to start up conversations with a number of people I met throughout my trip. Their warmth and overall friendliness really made a huge impact on my experience. Honestly, it might have made the whole trip.
“Be wary of consuming local foods and drinks.”
Courtesy of Lydia Lee
Similar to the above point, local is not synonymous with unclean or unsafe.
I remember meeting a lady in the hotel who was complaining, going on and on, about how dirty she heard the fruits and vegetables were and how she only wanted to eat food prepared directly in front of her. While water purity can be an issue in some countries, I feel like it's a waste to travel thousands of miles away to a foreign country just to eat chicken nuggets and Cheerios.
I probably ate and drank my whole trip – fried fish on the beach, mangu and salami, papayas, guava, mangoes, rum punch, mojitos, piña coladas – you name it, I had it. And, it was glorious.
Tip: Don't be lame. Try new foods and drinks! If you have concerns about water purity and food sanitation, bottled water and beverages are easily accessible and avoid eating food that has been sitting out for a while.
“Try not to stand out.”
Courtesy of Lydia Lee
While my skin color may have allowed me to blend in most spaces, it was pretty apparent that I was a tourist (especially when taking pictures). But, I don't think being a tourist is inherently a bad thing.
I believe that there is a big difference between being a tourist who simply visits versus appreciates a new place. I have visited countries where tourists are blatantly rude and disrespectful, leaving trash everywhere and talking down to locals. I felt in my core that I loved where I was visiting, tried my best to speak their language, and projected positivity and appreciation overall.
This does not mean walking around naively, flashing money or behaving in ways to attract negative attention, but it does mean not being afraid to engage with those around you and to stand out.
Tip: Being street smart does not mean completely shutting yourself off from the local environment around you. If you feel it's appropriate, don't be afraid to take pictures or even ask someone to take pictures of you. Again, be aware and read the overall vibe, but don't let fear and misconceptions stop you from exploring the world.
Featured Image by Lydia Lee (@hello_lydia).
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Originally published on March 9, 2019
Lydia is a recent Ivy League graduate and lifestyle writer based out of NYC. Storytelling her way through her 20-somethings, her lens is all things career, self-care, and #BlackGirlMagic. Meet Lydia on Instagram @hello_lydia.
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'Queen Charlotte' Star Arsema Thomas Worked At The United Nations Before Landing Her Breakout Role
Actress Arsema Thomas (Arséma Adeoluwayemi Hamera) may be new to the acting scene, but the star's standout performance in Netflix's limited series Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story is already leaving a lasting impression among many.
Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story, a prequel to Bridgerton, follows the young queen's life as her marriage to King George of England sparks an epic love affair and a societal shift.
In the drama, Thomas portrays the role of a young Lady Agatha Danbury, a close friend and confidant of Queen Charlotte, and it also depicts Lady Danbury's journey.
The series showcases the struggles Lady Agatha Danbury experienced in her lifetime. The list includes being forced to partake in a loveless marriage to a former African king Herman Danbury, becoming a widow, and possibly losing her estate and title following her husband's death.
Since Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story debuted on Netflix earlier this month, it has dominated the streaming service's top ten charts and piqued fans' interest in the show's stars, including Thomas.
Although many may not know a lot about the Atlanta native, who goes by she/they pronouns, and how she became one of the breakout stars in Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story, still, with the recent promotional tour Thomas has been doing for the show, she has shared some shocking details about her life.
Thomas' revelations within the past several months include details about her educational pursuits, previous work experience, her African culture, the steps she took to prepare for her role as Lady Agatha Danbury, and many more.
Arsema On Her African Heritage
Thomas, who is Nigerian and Ethiopian, is the daughter of diplomats.
The 28-year-old's parents, consisting of an Ethiopian mother and a Nigerian father, worked in the government to improve Africa's economic development.
Due to her parents' professions, the actress moved around a lot and lived in various countries like Kenya, Benin, Comoros, Uganda, and India, which exposed her to social issues. In an interview with Teen Vogue, Thomas opened up about having conversations about politics and government at a young age.
"Dinner table conversations were about politics, about African governance. I realized that in a lot of the countries I lived in, the effects of colonialism and imperialism were so blatantly obvious. That became the driving force for what I thought I should be doing as an adult," she said.
Later Thomas would ultimately reveal that her parents' work had inspired her to become a "doctor or something" because she wanted to make them proud.
Arsema Attended Carnegie Mellon University and Yale University
Prior to pursuing acting, Thomas revealed to Shondaland that she was a college graduate.
In 2016, she received her bachelor's degree in biophysics from Carnegie Mellon University. Following her graduation, Thomas interned at a mobile health clinic and a refugee camp in Kenya for over a year.
Around the same time, the star would continue her education by getting her master's in epidemiology and health policy at Yale University. Thomas disclosed that despite the educational success that she has achieved, acting became her main priority when she realized that this is something she could envision herself doing "100 percent of the time." This decision led Thomas to relocate to Paris, South Africa, and then to London to study drama.
"I packed up everything and moved to Paris because I wanted to do acting 100 percent of the time," she stated. "It was always something I had wanted to do, [but] I didn't think I would be able to. I thought it was going to be a hobby or a thing that I'd have to suppress in myself for the rest of my life."
Thomas would land her first role in 2021 as a guest star on the television series One Touch. Shortly after, she would participate in the 2022 film Redeeming Love as the character Rebecca. The rest would be history because, around that time, Thomas would receive the life-changing role of Lady Agatha Danbury in Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story.
Arsema On How She Prepared for Her Role In Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story
When the opportunity for Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story came along, Thomas took various steps to transform into Lady Agatha Danbury.
The actress, who has admitted to never seeing Bridgerton in the past, told Cosmopolitan UK's Up Close series that because she wasn't familiar with the fictionalized character, she decided to find things that she thought Lady Agatha Danbury would resonate with.
It includes reading books about women by well-known female authors who have made history in their own right, creating a Spotify playlist with music that Lady Agatha Danbury could listen to, and having waist beads made for her character.
"There was a lot of stuff I needed to get into this role because the character is fictional. So I read a ton of books about women or by women, that I thought that Agatha Danbury would resonate. So I read 'Ain't I A Woman' by Bell Hooks. I read Angela Davis' autobiography. I read Assata Shakur's autobiography, 'Tar Baby' by Toni Morrison, 'Eyes Are Watching God,' and 'Vaga Bonds' by Eloghosha Osunde. I made an extensive Spotify playlist, and I got waist beads made for Agatha," she explained.
Further in the interview, Thomas mentioned that she had waist beads made for Lady Danbury and wore them throughout the filming process because it helped ground her as she portrayed the character whom she described as entirely different from who she is as a person.
"It was a Nigerian woman threading these beads, and I asked her to thread beads specifically for this character, and I wore it throughout the entirety of filming," she said. "Because it was just kind of was a physical grounding point to this woman that is really, really actually far from who I am as an individual."
Thomas shared that talking to her grandmother, who had a similar background to Lady Danbury, such as having an arranged marriage at a young age, also helped her prepped for the role.
"I also talked to my grandmother a lot. I didn't realize how similar she was to this character. Because she was also married off when she was quite young," she revealed. "It was really interesting to kind of talk to someone in my life who I've known, who’s gone through something that is essentially the stripping away of their freedom, and someone who doesn't have any resentment or harbored anger towards the situation."
Arsema Worked At The United Nations
Thomas' work experience is an interesting one. Despite interning at three different health organizations, she previously worked at United Nations Population Fund, according to her Linkedin profile.
United Nations Population Fund's site states that the organization is part of the United Nation's "sexual and reproductive health agency." The gathered information on Thomas' profile says that she was an associate for the company from 2017 to 2018.
Some of Thomas' responsibilities included conducting "policy analyses" for United Nations Population Fund's sustainability and "supporting the regional desk specialist" in the program's division.
Arsema Speaks Five Languages
On top of Thomas' overwhelmingly impressive resume, the actress also speaks five languages.
According to the African publication Bella Naija, Thomas speaks English, Amharic, Yoruba, French, and Spanish. Although Thomas hasn't publicly talked about what inspired her to become multilingual, many can assume it is because of the various locations she has lived in throughout her life and her interest in learning.
Thomas may be a rising star now, but with the facts provided above, the actress has displayed through her work ethic and drive that she can soon become a household name.
Thomas' latest work Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story, is now streaming on Netflix.
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Feature image by Dominik Bindl/Getty Images