
Nothing says summer quite like a tropical background coupled with the turquoise hues of a Caribbean island. It’s a time when the days are longer, the clothes are fewer, and where many of us that crave an escape from reality instantly transport ourselves to beachy destinations, ideally where a passport is required. Curaçao is such a destination.
While I can confirm that most people I told about my trip to Curaçao started off with a question of, “Where is that?” or even more fondly, “Like the liqueur?” I can also assure you that with its 34 beaches, vivid colors, and rich culture, the dreamy sun-soaked location is working its way up the bucket lists of many, and with good reason.
The island is located in the Southern Caribbean Sea and is one part of what is commonly referred to as the ABC Islands. The three westernmost islands of the Carribean’s Leeward Antilles are comprised of Aruba, Bonaire, and Curaçao, respectively. The largest of the three, Curaçao has been touted as a favorite in the Caribbean and has 34 beaches, with each having its own personality due to much of the island’s untouched nature.
The sea is entrancing everywhere you look because of its three-toned appearance that occurs depending on how shallow the water is in its proximity to the shore. Its downtown locations of Pietermaai and Pandu offer vibrancy in another way through intricate street art and with buildings and homes that vary in shades, from bold yellows and pale pinks to deep greens and blues that rival the sky.
When I was invited to travel to Curaçao (pronounced cure-a-sow like ow) with Diamond PR, I was enticed by the itinerary’s emphasis on Curaçao as a “playground for wellbeing.” After engaging in a lot of inner healing work in the year so far, I wanted to tap into more experiences that gave me the opportunity to approach my healing work externally as well. The promise of relaxation, grounding nature, picturesque views, and slow-living laidback vibes assured me of the island’s potential to be a catalyst for being well.
After being immersed in all things Curaçao for a week, I can say without a doubt the country’s slogan, “Feel it for yourself,” has me singing a similar tune to anyone who'll listen.

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
I thought about it while indulging in a glass of merlot in Koral Bar, nestled on the cliffside of Coral Estate Luxury Resort, where I stayed for the bulk of my trip. It was my first day there, and I had arrived before the rest of my group. I felt a sense of calm wash over my body the second I exited the airport the day before. And at that moment, while seated at the bar of my hotel, feeling the breeze release gentle whispers against my skin and becoming mesmerized by the sunset, and how fluidly the lilac of the sky melted into the deep blue of the sea the bar overlooked, it was the perfect way to spend the evening and the relaxation my body called for after a long day of travel.
I thought about how everything I was feeling vibrationally at that moment was a result of my being there in person. But the vibe was only a taste of the magic Curaçao had to offer.
If you’re ready to tap into the island of Curaçao as a wellness escape, I rounded up the ultimate self-care itinerary that you should feel for yourself.
Day 1
Do a MOOD Table at Universal Alchemist
When it comes to providing the tools to get your vibrational healing and your aura all the way together, Elly Sambo is that girl. Alongside Universal Alchemist co-owner Femi Meaux, my group and I were able to bask in the shade of a decades-old mango tree before engaging in a guided group meditation. We shared stories and embraces. And the icing on the cake was the MOOD Table element created by Elly that focused on joy, the perfect segue to connect the other aspects of our workshop, which involved hacking happiness hormones. The feeling of being grounded by nature as well as using our hands to create DIY tools for our energy healing, like body oils and teas, was equal parts relaxing and energizing.
As an herbalist, alchemist, yoni steaming specialist, and more, Elly and the Universal Alchemist have an array of offerings that cater to one's vibrational healing and wellness lifestyle. Come for some healing, stay for the vibes.

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
Have lunch at Fresh. by Bluemaxx Fresh
After some homemade nut milk and the Universal Alchemist has your vibrations running high, now's the time to get your health fix at a local eatery. Fresh. by Bluemaxx Fresh is an extension of BlueMaxx Health Club & Medi-Spa, a fitness center located in Willemstad Curaçao. The concept of the restaurant is based on wanting to provide food options that are healthy but also taste good. And I must say, mission accomplished. We ordered some yucca and quinoa-battered onions for the table to share.
For the main event, I ordered a steak bowl and a side of fresh pineapple juice. Everything we ate was the definition of fresh and flavorful.

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
Do a breathwork session at The Space
What I loved about The Space was the inviting atmosphere. We were immediately greeted by warmth and the shining presence of founder Caroline Kolk who also gave us complimentary water. We removed our shoes and prepared to relax, relate, and release. The Space's approach to healing is holistic as they believe everything about the mind, body, and spirit is connected. When I thought about a yoga class right after lunch, my thought immediately went to yoga postures, and I was pleasantly surprised that our guide for that day was intentional about meeting us where we were, so we did a practice focusing on the breath instead.
The Space offers a range of classes, from basic Pilates to restorative yoga, as well as meditation circles, prenatal yoga, treatments, and even yoga teacher training.

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
Explore Willemstad Kaya Kaya
Although you can definitely explore the very walkable area of Willemstad by yourself, I highly recommend booking a guided tour with Kurt Schoop, a local born and raised on the island. He also is one of the owners of a business in the neighborhood of Ser'i Otrobanda called Bario and has lived there for 19 years. Through his storytelling, we were able to get another layer to the mix of art, culture, and murals that we were introduced to over the hour-and-a-half exploration.
Kaya Kaya is a yearly celebration that takes place on September 2nd and is the biggest party on the island. The Ser'i Otrobanda neighborhood went from being an area of the island that wasn't really visited but since has been restored. It was incredible to hear how influential the beautification efforts had been as a tool for community building. Implementing various art projects throughout was a way of "changing the narrative" of the neighborhood and to see how much has changed through restoration in a matter of years was remarkable. So were the pastel-colored homes.

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
Afterward, since you're already literally in the neighborhood, visit the Bario Hotel's on-site restaurant, Bario Urban Street Food. My favorite was the fried calamari dish, but I absolutely loved the drinks from the specialized cocktail bar.

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
Day 2
Nature walk at Hofi Mango
The best part about the island heat is finding little respites where you can cool off. The 800 or so mango trees forming the shady center of the park felt like a cool drink of water on a hot day. The trees were mighty, they were lush and vividly green. The sounds of parakeets and other birds provided a soundtrack to our time there. Once a plantation in the 1700s, Hofi Mango has been transformed to be a playground for wellness. Though open to the public for walking and even lounging, the park is still in its development stages, but the hope is for it to be "a place in nature used for cultivating food but also as a space for gathering," which is what the Papiamentu word "hofi" can be loosely translated to.
The concepts for gathering in the park so far have been built with the intention of striking a balance between nature and development. As Bernice, the park manager who guided the tour for us, stated, "Nature doesn't compete, they coincide." And it is her intention that the people who visit Hofi Mango learn to coincide with the nature around them.
The walk is a pretty easy one, and at its mirador, you can see Santa Cruz (one of the island's many beaches) in the distance, closely neighboring the island's highest peak. The west side of the island is known for its beauty, and the views and landscapes you are introduced to during your time at Hofi Mango will highlight that even more.

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
Do a spa day at 8 Experience Curaçao
I can confidently say that the spa experience at 8 Experience Curaçao is a luxurious slice of relaxation heaven everyone should partake in at least once in their lives. The massage I had there was the things dreams are made of, and it's considered one of the best spas on the island. Go there for a facial or a massage and enjoy the facilities for the day. The spa itself is immaculately designed with stunning attention to detail. In addition to a sauna, they also offer a steam room infused with aromas and an ice room kept at 5 degrees Celsius. The connection to nature can be felt throughout the luxe facility, especially when it's time to get your massage.
The rooms have huge windows that open up to the Caribbean Sea by way of wooden shutters. So the picturesque views are literally framed, and while you are taking in the aromas of your oil of choice during your massage (special shout out to Nilitsa, who did the damn thing), your sensory experience opens up even more with the help of the sounds of the water against the cliffside, the birds, and even the wind. The emphasis is on wholeness, and every service offered at the spa delivers a taste of that.
In addition to spa and salon services, you can opt to lounge by the pool or one of the two jacuzzis nestled right on the cliffside, overlooking the sea. Oasis doesn't even begin to cover it.

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
Enjoy dinner on the beach at Karakter
Notably, Karakter is a restaurant known for being located in quiet and unique locations and chose Curaçao to be the home of their second restaurant. With the white sand and the blue sea and a special appearance of the sunset acting as our backdrop, we enjoyed the most decadent meal at this chic restaurant. There was careful care and consideration placed on incorporating the flavors the chef wished to highlight, like cauliflower, pumpkin, and dark chocolate, which went together seamlessly with some of the other elements of the dishes. Altogether, the elements provided a sensory experience to remember.

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
Day 3
Dip your toes into the clear waters of Mambo Beach
If you haven't found a beach yet, take in the crystal blue waters of Mambo Beach, one of the island's most popular and trendiest beaches. While the tropical lagoon is man-made, it's one of the calmer beaches of Curaçao, making it perfect for kids and non-swimmers as well. I am always mesmerized by the undeniable beauty of the sea and the image of palm trees swaying in the wind. Lounge by the water, have a drink from the beach bar (Rileks Beach Bar comes highly recommended), or enjoy a swim.
Just off the shores of the far-reaching white-sand beach are a lot of amenities and shops the downtown area has to offer. Mambo Beach Boulevard has a plethora of bars, restaurants, and of course, shopping. So whether you want to relax, dine, or play, Mambo Beach has a little something for everyone.
Explore downtown Curaçao
Prepare to be blown away by the breathtaking beauty of a different variety with the sights and sounds of downtown Curaçao. The brightly colored houses lining the waterfront and cobblestone streets populate an area of an island that has strong Dutch influences. In search of the Kura Hulanda Museum, we stumbled upon the brightly colored Kura Hulanda Village that opens up to a little pavilion with local shops to peruse. In addition to making a pit stop at Rustiq, we were introduced to a local artist there whose work is featured quite prominently in the area named Bagira. You can also visit Punda for some of the higher-end shopping if that's your fancy.

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
Have tapas and cocktails at Soi95
Asian-inspired tapas served with a Caribbean twist are what you can expect at Soi95. We spent our last night dining on the scenic rooftop terrace, sharing light bites and sipping on unique crafty cocktails. The presentation was incredible, especially with the drinks that were sometimes served with flames or another element that upped the ante on its uniqueness. The flavors were eclectic, and every single bite had you yearning for more. A great dining gem worthy of a stop during your trip to Curaçao.

Sheriden Chanel/xoNecole
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Featured image by Getty Images
Your December 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Surrender & Alignment
December is about letting go. We end the year with the need for more peace, reflection, and rejuvenation, and that is exactly what December is providing for us. The Sun is in Sagittarius, and anything is possible. This is the month to believe in that and to know that the universe is supporting you. With a Supermoon in Gemini as we begin the month as well, we have an opportunity to gain the closure we have been looking for this year and to wrap up old projects, ideas, and communication breakthroughs.
This is the month to make your peace the priority and let go of trying to control the way the tides are turning. Trust in your new beginning, and give yourself time to prepare for it this month.
A big part of the clarity that is coming through this month is due to Neptune going direct in Pisces on December 10, after being retrograde here since July. With Neptune now direct, we are able to see our inspiration and creativity a little more clearly, providing the perfect energy for dreams and manifestation to be built upon. The smoke is clearing, and it’s up to you to decide what you want to do with this newfound clarity that this transit is bringing. Mercury also moves back into Sagittarius on December 11, which is great for communication and clarity, and the adventures you were trying to see through at the beginning of November come around for you again with greater purpose and support.
On December 15, Mars enters Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and this is the extra push we need to make important changes and to be on the path towards greater abundance, stability, and prosperity. Mars in Capricorn takes care of business, and we have extra energy at our disposal during this time to do so. This transit is an ideal time to focus on your career or financial goals for next year and to start putting some of these plans into motion now. A few days later, we have the New Moon of the month, which will be in Sagittarius on December 19, and this is the perfect New Moon to manifest.
The energy is high, magic is in the air, and it’s all about moving forward with the new beginnings that are inspiring you and bringing you joy to think about right now.
Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21, and this earth sign energy is how we heal, gain closure, and build new foundations in our world. With Venus also moving into a Capricorn a few days later, there is something about peace, prosperity, and security that we are gaining in life and in love as we close out the year, and this is what we need right now. This month is about reflecting on what was, letting go of old hurt, and renewing. December is an ending and a new beginning in one, and there is magic in this space to be created.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what December 2025 has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
December is a full-circle moment for you, Aries. You are seeing the gifts in your world and have a lot of gratitude for the way things have come about for you as of late. There are culminations in your world that are providing you with more abundance, stability, and community, and you are exactly where you are meant to be this month. With the Sun in a fellow fire sign and in your 9th house of travel for most of the month, December is a good time to get out of your comfort zone, explore the world around you, and get your body moving.
Mars, your ruling planet, also makes a change and moves into Capricorn on December 15, which will fuel your inspiration and power in your career space. You are making a lot of professional progress as we close out the year; however, make sure to be more mindful of your competitive drive right now. The New Moon on December 19 is the perfect opportunity for you to create some new plans and goals when it comes to traveling, education, and where you want to gain some new inspiration in your world. Overall, this is a month of things coming together for you serendipitously.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
December is about trusting your intuition, Taurus. You have a lot on your mind this month, and it’s best to delegate, communicate, and allow yourself some relief by opening up to someone and not feeling like you have to hold everything in. As we begin the month, we have a Supermoon in Gemini happening in your house of income, and the plans and projects you have been building here come to fruition for you now. This is the time to gain clarity on your financial world and to take a look at what spending habits you want to let go of here as well.
With Venus in your 8th house of shared resources for most of the month, you are doing a cleanse on your commitments, partnerships, and business ventures. You are taking a look at what you want to dedicate yourself to in the future, and what commitments you may need to let go of now in order to be in the space you truly want to be, both financially and within some of your relationship dynamics. Before we end the month, we have a New Moon in this same area of your chart, and it’s time to look at the opportunities that are presenting themselves and to trust your internal guidance system to lead you forward.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
You are moving forward fearlessly this month, Gemini. December is your month of love, passion, and dignity, and you are owning the light that you shine. We begin the month with the last Supermoon of the year, happening in your sign, and you are stepping up to the plate. You are showing up, owning how much you have grown this year, and allowing yourself to heal while also acknowledging that you have done your best and you deserve to have fun in the midst of the changes you are creating.
Mercury, your ruling planet, is officially out of retrograde, and you can use this energy to the fullest potential now. With Mercury in your 7th house of love, it’s time to speak from the heart and to talk about the things that matter and that are inspiring you right now to your loved ones. You never know what kind of epiphanies you may have when you open up the conversation to others. Before the month ends, you have a New Moon in this same love area of your chart, and this New Moon is all about manifesting romance, commitment, and abundance in your world.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
December is an opening for more love, more joy, and more freedom in your life, Cancer. You have come to a place where you hold so much gratitude in your heart for where you are today and where your heart is shining, and things come together for you with more ease right now. With the Sun in your 6th house of health, work, and daily routines for most of the month, you are getting your ducks in a row while also putting more energy and effort into taking care of yourself, your priorities, and your well-being. This month surprises you in many ways, and it’s because you are showing up.
Mars and Venus both move into your house of love, relationships, marriage, and abundance this month, and you are making strides in your love life. You have both of these opposing forces on your side and are being recognized for the love you are while also receiving the love you want. This month, overall, is about focusing more on the positives in your world and letting your heart have its joy. Before December comes to an end, there is a New Moon in Sagittarius, and this is the perfect opportunity to create the plans you want to see through next year, especially when it comes to your work life, colleagues, business ventures, and health.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
The scales of karma are balancing, and they are balancing in your favor this month, Leo. December is your month of truth, and of seeing it clearly in your world. The Sun is in your house of romance, pleasure, and happiness for most of the month, and it’s time to relax, be in the present moment, and allow what is meant to be, to be. With a Supermoon in your 11th house of manifestation as December begins, this is a powerful month for seeing your dreams come to fruition, and for feeling like the intentions you have set this year are finally here for you now.
Mars also moves into your 6th house mid-month, and this is the perfect energy to have to move into the new year. You have extra energy at your disposal right now and are feeling fearless with what is possible for you and your daily routine. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in a fellow fire sign, Sagittarius, and this is a breakthrough moment for you and your heart. December, overall, wants to show you how loved and supported you are and will be doing so in magical, unexpected, and concrete ways.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
December is a month of victory, Virgo. You are showing up and experiencing some new successes in your world that move you forward on your path in life. With a Supermoon in your 10th house of career as we begin the month, the effort and intentions you have made this year come into full bloom, and you are being recognized for who you are and the good work you have done. This month is all about showing up and allowing yourself to be seen and loved, knowing that you deserve the support and opportunities you are receiving.
Mars moves into Capricorn on December 15, which brings the passion and excitement into your love life, hobbies, and little pleasures in life that light you up. You want to have fun this month and are going to be walking into the new year with this fearless, happy, and spontaneous energy within you. Before the month ends, Venus also enters Capricorn, and in this same area of your chart, you have a lot to look forward to and believe in right now. Overall, December wants you to be happy and will be doing everything possible to make that happen for you. This is your month to shine, Virgo.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
December is a month of opportunity for you, Libra. New doors open, and you are financially making breakthroughs this month because of it. December begins with a Supermoon in your 9th house, and you are getting a clearer view of where you have been making strides in your life and how it has all brought you here to this present moment of freedom. This month is showing you what happens when you are fearless with your purpose and when you believe in yourself and what you are worthy of.
Moving further into December, Mars moves into your 4th house of home and family mid-month, and you are closing out the year in your safe spaces. You are spending more time with your loved ones and taking the time to quiet your mind and listen to what your heart has been telling you. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, happening in an area of your life that deals with communication. This is a great time for getting the answers you have been looking for and for feeling more clear-headed and confident about the decisions you are making as you move into the new year.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
Patience is a virtue this month, Scorpio. December is all about remaining patient and vigilant with what you are creating in your world, and knowing that the universe has your back. It’s time to be reminded of the power of hope, and this month is an opening to greater clarity in your life. There is a lot of energy in your financial zones right now, and this is providing you with new opportunities and new insight; however, the speed at which things come about for you may feel daunting. Keep your head up and eyes focused on what you want and know that you are more than worthy of receiving it.
With Mercury in your 2nd house of income this month, December is a good time to plant new seeds and to think about where you want to be financially a month from now or even a year. This month is asking you to think bigger and to think more long-term so that you can set the appropriate plans into motion now. We also have a New Moon in your house of income before the month ends, and this is when you will see more of your dreams come to fruition in this area of your life, and have more opportunities to build. Overall, December will be teaching you a lot, Scorpio.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
Sagittarius Season is here, and there is a lot in store for you this month, Sag. December is all about what you are dedicating yourself to. It’s about setting your intentions and putting the work in to back up your dreams, and about getting things in order so that when the new beginnings come, you are ready for them. The Sun and Venus are in your sign for most of this month, and there are a lot of eyes on you right now. You have the potential to create a new beginning for yourself, and it’s time to invest in yourself, your love life, and your dreams.
Mercury moves into Sagittarius on December 11, and this is giving you another opportunity to see through some of the plans that you had initiated in November. Mercury was retrograde in your sign last month, and there may have been some disruptions to your vision and plans for the future, and now this energy is turning around for you. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in Sagittarius, and you are walking through new doors fearlessly. You are catching others by surprise by your growth this month, and you are thinking a lot about your purpose, future, and plans for the new year.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
December is all about the vision, Capricorn. You are moving through a lot of changes and transformations this month, yet they are giving you a chance at a new beginning in the process. You are focused more on the future and what goals you want to manifest for yourself right now, and are ready to let go of what hasn’t been working for you. With the Sun in your 12th house of closure for most of December, this is your time for healing, but remember, healing doesn’t have to be isolating or boring; you can thrive while you renew, and you are this month.
Mid-month, the excitement picks up for you, and you are feeling more energized than you have in a while. Mars moves into Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and you are being proactive with your goals, intentions, and passions. You are a force to be reckoned with this month, and you are making things happen for yourself with confidence. Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21 this year, and this is definitely speeding up your healing process. You are breaking free from what was, and with Venus also moving into Capricorn before the month ends, you are leaving this year in high spirits and with love opening a new door for you.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
December is all about community, creativity, and manifestation, Aquarius. This is the month to work together with others to help bring your dreams to life. You are in a space of inspiration, empowerment, and beauty, and are creating more of this energy around you and in your world. Look out for what support comes your way this month and know that you don’t have to do everything alone to succeed. With the Sun in your 11th house of manifestation and friendship, your intentions are coming to fruition, and it’s time to celebrate with the people you love and to own how far you have come this year.
On December 19, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, lighting up your life in all of the best ways possible. This is your New Moon of freedom, victory, and magic, and you are seeing new beginnings appear that you were once just hoping for. Before the month comes to an end, Venus moves into your 12th house of closure, and after an active and successful month, you are ready to relax, heal, and give your heart some of the attention it has been asking for. You are moving into the new year with the need to release and renew what hasn’t been working in your relationships, and you are finally ready to.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
December is a big month for you, Pisces. You are making some huge accomplishments this month, and are feeling like everything you have been through this year has been worth it for these moments that are coming to fruition for you now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career and reputation for most of the month, and this is where a lot of your focus is right now. You are claiming your successes and putting yourself out there in ways that not only serve you, but that inspire others as well.
Neptune officially goes direct on December 10, after being retrograde in your sign since July, and you are finally seeing things a little more clearly. You are feeling renewed inspiration and passion in your life, and your intuition is your strongest asset right now. Before December comes to an end, we also have a New Moon in your 10th house of career, and what happens now not only changes things for you in the present, but it also opens new doors and what is possible for you in the new year as well. Overall, you are on top of your game this month and are owning the joy and empowerment you feel.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
You're Over Him. Should You Wait Until After The Holidays To Say It?
When a client told me that she was seriously considering ending her relationship of 10 months before Christmas, I wasn’t surprised. That’s not a sneak diss on what she has going on with her man or anything; it’s just that I know that the holiday season (the month of December, more specifically) is a very popular time for folks to call things off. Between the pressure of bringing people around family and the urge to start off the new year with a clean slate — yeah, it makes sense.
At the same time, though, I do think that there is something to be said for ending things well — and when it comes to a break-up? During this time of the year? Before you make that official move, I just want to make sure that you’ve thought a few things through.
Things like what exactly? So glad that you asked.
How Serious Is the Relationship?
GiphyOkay, so if you’ve never heard of the “10-date rule” before, it’s basically the belief that after 10 consecutive dates with someone, it’s time to come to the conclusion that you are officially in a relationship with them. Personally, I have lived, observed and counseled enough people to say that when it comes to knowing where you stand with another person, you shouldn’t assume one damn thing — you should 1000 percent communicate your thoughts and listen to theirs in return.
That said, it is a bit different (wouldn’t you say?) if you’ve been out on a couple of dates with someone vs. if you’ve been with them for almost a year. So yeah, the first thing to ponder is how serious the dynamic is. Because honestly, if things are new and fairly casual, I don’t see how ending things, whether it’s the holiday season or not, is going to matter much — one way or another.
Remember, the holidays tend to be a very emotional time; however, if there isn’t a huge emotional investment going on, I don’t think anyone in a casual situation is going to look back and think that you are a villain (or Grinch), just because you’d prefer not to go on a third date with them. Good lord.
Next point.
Do You Want to Slow Down or End Things Entirely?
GiphyAre you totally over him or is it more like there are some things about the situation that you want to step back and ponder before making any major decisions about the future? If the answer is “B,” I recommend talking it over ASAP; especially if the two of you have been seeing each other for a while at this point. I say this because, whether you all are at the “meet the family” (or have already met the family) stage or not, when people are in a relationship, they tend to factor one another into their holiday plans — and it’s hella inconsiderate to not take this into account when it comes to the guy who you are seeing.
That said, I will say this: It’s mighty interesting that you are choosing this time of the year for this type of relational self-reflection — so, while you’re on this break, think about what it symbolizes.
For instance, are you slowing things down right now because you’re not sure if you want to go into a new year with him or are you doing it because spending the holidays together tends to represent that a relationship is far deeper than you want yours to be right now? Because really, you could’ve gone with the summertime (for example) not the holiday season to make this type of move…so, if your “pump the brakes” time is now, chances are, there is some subconscious subtext going on that you really should get to the root of.
Actual Holidays Are a DEFINITE No-No
GiphyYou would think that this wouldn’t need to be said yet since I once experienced a guy who decided to be a complete a*shole on my birthday some years back — yeah, let’s address it. Isn’t it interesting that one study revealed that during the first week of December, searches for how to break-up with someone go up by a whopping 60 percent? Then, if you add to that the fact that the holidays can sometimes be pretty stressful — well, while most folks with a heart and a conscience wouldn’t dream of breaking up with someone on an actual holiday, sometimes the pressure of everything can create the perfect storm for it to happen anyway.
That said, a super-duper throwback song by Neil Sedaka entitled, “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do” — and it absolutely is. Know what makes it worse: It happening on a holiday, so that every time the day rolls around, it’s bittersweet because you remember that someone broke up with you then.
Listen, just because you may not love or even like someone (in that way) anymore, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t treat them with some common decency and respect. Besides, don’t you also want your own Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day to be as unscathed and drama-less as possible?
Whatever you’re gonna do, you’re grown, chile. If you want my advice, though — put good energy into your future holiday seasons and avoid breaking up (or even having deep decisions) on actual holidays.
Definitely Keep the Golden Rule in Mind
GiphyProbably, until the end of time, there are going to be debates about whether karma is real (in the sense of it being scientifically proven). While quite a bit of data says that it isn’t and that it tends to be adapted and promoted by certain faiths more than anything — if you do believe that you reap what you sow (Galatians 6:7-8), at the end of the day, that is pretty much what karma is all about and, as I oftentimes say, karma (or sowing and reaping) don’t have expiration dates. In other words, what you have said and done can manifest in ways and at times that you never saw coming. A cautionary tale, indeed.
So yeah — even if you’ve been with ole’ boy for a while now, you’ve tried to make it work and you just don’t see a future for the two of you anymore, however you decide to end it, definitely keep the golden rule of doing unto others as you would want them to do unto you in mind.
Be as kind as you are honest. Be as empathetic (putting yourself in his shoes) as much as you possibly can. Avoid gaslighting him about how he feels about your decision. Be clear about how you’d like things to be moving forward (for instance, if you actually DON’T want to be friends afterwards, there’s no need to say it). And try not to do anything that will make him feel used — like waiting until after receiving a Christmas gift to end it (you’d be amazed by how many people do exactly that. SMDH).
The thing about break-ups is, live long enough, and you’re probably going to be on the giving and receiving end of one. So, even if you’re not really emotionally invested in your relationship anymore, be kind to your future self and be as respectful as possible throughout your…relational transition. Because even if you don’t feel like he deserves it, your feelings up the road, with someone else who may do the same thing to you…absolutely do.
Timing Is Everything
GiphyA bishop by the name of Fulton J. Sheen once said, “Patience is power. Patience is not an absence of action; rather it is ‘timing’ it waits on the right time to act, for the right principles and in the right way.” And while it might seem really challenging to figure out when the RIGHT time to break up with someone is — “right” is about using good judgment, right is about conforming to certain principles (like integrity and fairness), right is about doing things in order. Now with that in mind, is the RIGHT TIMING now or should it be later?
Only you can really answer that yet what I will say is if your mind, body and spirit aren’t on the same page — figure out why before making any moves. Oh, and if it’s simply about fear — girl, whether it’s November 30, December 9 or January 14…break-ups are always going to be uncomfortable. It’s about knowing what’s best for you and then ending things in a way that is as respectful, timing-wise, as possible (again, due to the whole karma thing).
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‘Tis the season and sometimes “out with the old” means leaving a relationship behind. Just make sure that you move with wisdom and discernment and not hypersensitivity and knee-jerking.
That way, you can look back on every holiday season with as little regret as possible.
Due to how you handled things. Including a (potential) break-up.
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