

When we embark on our healing journey, we can experience a plethora of shifts and personal milestones that affirm our forward progression. But as we face our trauma and reach a deeper level of self-awareness, there comes a point in our journey where our momentum seems to be halted by a brick wall that we can’t seem to maneuver.
We feel stuck in a loop, lessons keep repeating, and elements from our past show up as roadblocks that hinder us from moving forward. Whether it’s a lack of confidence, self-sabotage, crippling anxiety, or an unhealthy addiction, overcoming these blockages may take more than traditional therapy to resolve. Fortunately, there’s an alternative approach to consider that can put your healing and personal growth on an accelerated path — that’s truly mind over matter.
"Hypnotherapy is a form of therapy that works on the subconscious mind,” Keylee Miracle, Master Hypnotherapist and creator of The Neurointuitive Method™, tells xoNecole. “Through inducing deep relaxation, we activate the parasympathetic nervous system to access beliefs, decisions, and feelings below our conscious awareness.”
Keylee's signature process, The Neurointuitive Method™, takes a loving and strategic approach to growth that's rooted in neuropsychology, hypnosis, and intuitive practices. She applies her expert knowledge of the psyche to translate into a human mindmap tailored to fit her client's best learning style (visual, auditory, read/write, and kinesthetic). "Hypnotherapy is highly effective and can be employed in cases of treatment resistance in traditional behavioral (talk) therapy," she says. "It is my favorite therapeutic method for overthinkers because it's inherently somatic."
While traditional talk therapy is beneficial in providing individuals with the space to express their feelings and emotions to spark self-reflection, hypnotherapy differs in its ability to induce positive changes in behavior and thought patterns through subconscious exploration. "With prolonged talk therapy, a person can mistake conscious understanding with progress," Keylee explains. "Talk therapy is very helpful for clarification and conscious reordering of thoughts; however, something may feel like it's missing on a deeper level. Hypnotherapy can help someone find that 'something.'"
If you've ever seen reenactments of hypnosis on television or in movies, you may be surprised to learn how similar a hypnotherapy session is to its on-screen portrayals. Many refer to the experience as being a deep, trance-like sensation of relaxation with an unexplainable return to your body. "I really don't want to refer to Get Out, but I really felt myself sinking into it…" recalls YouTuber Trinity Faith during an episode of her Without Guidance podcast. "I was pressing against the couch. Not falling back into it, but settling deep into it, and it did feel pretty nice."
Results from hypnotherapy can be felt in just one session, with the relief being almost immediate. While the number of sessions necessary is dependent upon the client's needs, Keylee notes that it usually takes a minimum of six weeks to cement new neural connections. "You can come to resolve a particular issue or overhaul your subconscious entirely," she says.
While some may come into the hypnotherapy experience spectacle of its effectiveness, it is important to note that a person's suspension of disbelief and suggestiveness can affect their ability to be hypnotized. "People often worry that hypnotherapy will not work on them or that they will be under someone else's control. Everyone has a parasympathetic nervous system, so if someone is open to the experience, it will work," Keylee assures.
She shares that hypnotherapists or hypnotists can be looked to as "tour guides" that help us explore the depths of our subconscious and uncover the truths we need to see. Because of their familiarity with the human psyche, they're able to identify common obstacles and help us to navigate them. "You may consciously have an idea of where your obstacles lie, but the roots may be obscured," she says. "As a hypnotherapist, I am there to guide you through those dark spots while you remain in control of your experience." Thus, remaining open is key to having an optimal experience.
One of the most common hurdles that her clients face is stagnation. When we feel stagnate, there can be a disconnect between us, our purpose, and our output to contribute to the world around us. However, Keylee's "neurointuitive" approach to hypnotherapy helps to rewire her client's brains to not deny their reality but help shift it in a productive direction.
"Reality is all about perception, and our perception is colored by our beliefs, decisions, and feelings. Our perception forms in response to our experiences; we develop our own strategies to move through the world. Hypnotherapy can be really useful for intentionally adjusting our perception, which translates into shifting our lives."
With the depths of trauma that we've experienced on a personal and intergenerational level, hypnotherapy can serve as a useful tool to uncover the underlying factors behind our traumas and point us toward their roots.
Because we've all formed coping mechanisms to protect ourselves and manage painful or difficult emotions, hypnotherapy helps by bypassing the conscious mind to remove resistance to healing. "We can also access different points in time which is helpful in resolving intergenerational trauma," she says. "This is hugely impactful for those who find themselves running into repeated obstacles of the same nature. Sometimes things begin before us."
While hypnotherapy may be deemed a non-traditional approach to healing, setting aside one's uncertainties aside to explore alternative methods to personal growth can prove to be beneficial in the long run especially if you want to see who you could become if self-sabotage and the effects of our traumas were finally confronted head-on.
"It's really important to change the beliefs we hold about ourselves and deal with the aftermath of traumatic experiences. If there's even a slight conflict in our self-perception, we can act in ways that are incongruent," Keylee says.
"This incongruence often comes out as self-sabotage. Self-sabotage is an ineffective strategy employed for safety. Hypnotherapy can help someone who has experienced trauma examine their experience from a place of true safety to resolve inner conflict."
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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You Don’t Have To Choose: How Black Women Can Care For Others Without Self-Sacrifice
One of the primary instructions we receive before a flight takes off is to prioritize putting on your life vest first if there’s an emergency, even before assisting others. It’s funny how this rule rarely translates to the daily routine of women.
As women we are taught, directly and indirectly, to put others first. Whether it’s our romantic partners, kids, parents, friends, or even our jobs. Mental health survivor and founder of Sista Afya Community Care, Camesha Jones-Brandon is challenging that narrative by using her platform to advocate for Black women and their right to self-care.
Camesha created the organization after her struggles with mental health and the lack of community she experienced. The Chicago native explains how she created Sista Afya to be rooted in “culturally grounded care.”
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“So at my organization, Sista Afya Community Care, we focus on providing mental health care through a cultural and gender lens,” she tells xoNecole. “So when we think about the term intersectionality, coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw, we think about the multiple identities that lead to certain experiences and outcomes as it relates to Black women.
“So in the context of culturally grounded care, being aware of the cultural history, the cultural values, and then also the current issues that impact mental health outcomes.”
Words like “strong” and “independent” have long been associated with Black women for some time and many of us have begun to embrace the soft life and are using rest as a form of resistance. However, some of us still struggle with putting ourselves first and overall shedding the tainted image of the “strong, Black woman” that had been forced on us.
Camesha shares that while there’s more and more communities being created around empowerment and shared interests like running, she still questions, “are Black women really comfortable with being vulnerable about sharing their experiences?”
Being vulnerable with ourselves and others play an important role in healing the instinctive nature of always being “on” for everyone. “I'm currently facilitating a group on high functioning depression, and yesterday, we talked about how when Black women may be struggling or have shared their concerns with other people. They may be minimized, or they're told to just be strong, or it's not so bad, or I went through something worse back in Jim Crow era, so you should be thankful,” she explains.
“So I think there's a challenge with Black women being able to be honest, to be vulnerable and to receive the support that they need in the same capacity as how much they give support to other people. So that is probably a very common theme. I think we've made a lot of progress when we talk about the superwoman syndrome, the mammy stereotype, the working hard stereotype, the nurturing stereotype. I think we're beginning to unpack those things, but I still see that we have definitely a long way to go in that area.”
I think there's a challenge with Black women being able to be honest, to be vulnerable and to receive the support that they need in the same capacity as how much they give support to other people.
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While we’re unpacking those things, we know that we’re still women at the end of the day. So as we continue to serve in various roles like mothers, daughters, sisters, and caretakers, we have to make caring for ourselves a priority. Camesha reveals four ways we can still care for others without abandoning ourselves.
Trust
First things first, trust. Camesha explains, “Some of the burdens that Black women have can be linked to not feeling like you can trust people to carry the load with you.
“It's hard because people experience trauma or being let down or different experiences, but one of the things that I found personally is the more that I'm able to practice trust, the more I'm able to get my needs met. Then, to also show up as my best to care for other Black women.”
Know Your Limitations
Another thing Camesha highlighted is Black women knowing their limitations. “The other thing that I would like to bring up in terms of a way to care for yourself is to really know your limitations, or know how much you can give and what you need to receive,” she says.
“So often, what I see with Black women is giving, giving, giving, giving, giving to the point that you're not feeling well, and then not receiving what you need in return to be able to feel well and whole individually. So I really think it's important to know your limitations and know your capacity and to identify what it is that you need to be well.”
Don’t Take On A Lot Of Responsibilities
Next on the list is not taking on so many responsibilities, sharing herself as an example. “The other thing is taking on too much responsibility, especially in a time of vulnerability.
“One thing that I personally struggled with was being so passionate about community mental health for Black women, and saying yes to everything and taking on so much responsibility,” she reveals. “That affected me to do well in serving Black women and then also impacting my own well being.”
Practice Self-Care
Lastly, she notes the importance of practicing self-care. “The last thing is really practicing regular self care, regular community care, so that it's embedded into your daily life. So for me, having prepared meals, going to the gym, getting eight hours of sleep, spending time with friends and family, all of those things are part of my self care that keep me at my best,” she explains.
“Then community care, leaning into social networks or social groups, or spending time with other interests or hobbies. That's a part of my community care that keeps me going, so that I can take care of my needs, but also to be able to show up best in care for others.”
Find out more about Camesha and Sista Afya Community Care at communitycare.sistaafya.com.
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