Ari Lennox Sheds Light On Her Sobriety Journey And The Positive Effects On Her Life: 'Having Help Is Ok'
Ari Lennox is courageously sharing her sobriety journey, shedding light on its benefits and why she deliberately abstained from consuming alcohol.
The singer shot to fame in 2015 after becoming the first female artist to sign with J. Cole's Dreamville record label. The following year, Lennox made her mark by collaborating on various projects and releasing her debut EP Pho. Lennox's success only grew from there.
In 2019, Lennox's career soared to new heights after the release of her debut album Shea Butter Baby, featuring the hit songs “Whipped Cream,” “BMO,” “New Apartment,” and many others. To date, Shea Butter Baby has been certified gold after selling 500,000 records worldwide. Since then, the 32-year-old has released an album and an EP, respectively, titled Age/Sex/Location and Away Message.
In addition to her professional achievements, Lennox has provided insight into her personal life and the steps she took to become the best version of herself, from attending therapy and exercising regularly.
Most recently, the "Pressure" vocalist took to Instagram to discuss why she became sober and how her journey has been these past seven months.
Ari Lennox On Being Sober
In the July post, which included numerous photos of the star posing in front of what appears to be her home, Lennox revealed that becoming sober has been a life-altering experience and that she can't "imagine" returning to her old habits.
"7 months sober. That's a lot of sober flights. A lot of sober conversations. A lot of facing things raw and head-on. Honestly, I don't know what will happen when I reach a year sober." she wrote while mentioning if she plans to extend her sobriety timeline. "Don't know if sobriety is forever or not but I can't imagine going back to how things were. "
Further into the caption, Lennox disclosed the events that motivated her to start her sobriety journey, including heightened emotions and passing out in public places.
"Passing out in the airport or having my emotions more heightened than needed smh s—t was bad," she said, sharing some of the benefits she encountered from no longer drinking alcohol.
"I feel more in control of my emotions. More stable. More happy. More alert. More safe. More accepting of things I can't control and more responsible with things I can. I have less anxiety socially, and when I'm ready to go, I go. I recognize my threshold with things and implement boundaries. I don't find interest in partying anymore, maybe I'm changing, and that's deeper than alcohol."
Ari Lennox On What Sobriety Has Taught Her
Toward the end of the post, the "Waste My Time" singer explained that since becoming sober, she has been able to identify her weaknesses and ask for help.
"Accepting help and realizing I'm not the best traveler on my own has been a game changer. So now I have help and that helps. Having help is ok," she stated. "I like waking up with no hangover or embarrassment. I like waking up with no night terrors and panic attacks from liquor. I'm so raw feeling everything in this world and my coping mechanisms are only healthier now. It's nice to remember events as they are happening."
Lennox added another advantage she experienced was enjoying the present, not choosing alcohol to escape any problems that may arise, and finding more productive solutions.
"It's nice to be present. Sobriety is a very present experience...But yea sure there's the fantasy of wanting to escape all the intense stress of the world with alcohol cause boy does it work temporarily. But there's the moment the liquor stops numbing and you're chasing that feeling to no avail and you wake to see the problems of life still there," she said.
The star's recent testimony can inspire others to seek ways to take care of their health by eliminating harmful habits and taking back control of their lives.
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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