I don't know about y'all but when I was growing up, when it came to what I should eat vs. what I should avoid, I oftentimes heard folks say, "If it's white, it ain't right." In this context, what that meant was foods like white bread, white rice (except for jasmine rice), white pasta — none of these were considered to be very healthy because they tend to be so over-processed that there is minimal nutritional value to them. Because of that, eating them on a consistent basis can lead to health issues like obesity, type 2 diabetes, constipation, depression-related symptoms and even fatty liver disease.
What's the alternative? Whole grains. What makes them so much better is because foods that are made from whole grains literally contain all of the grain in them — all of the bran, germ, and endosperm. This helps you to get so many of the vitamins and minerals as a direct result. And just what kind of grains are considered to be "whole"? Some include oats, barley, rye, wheat, quinoa, millet and corn (including cornmeal and popcorn).
OK. Now before you head off to your local grocery store and fill up your cart with whole grain foods, it's important to remember the very wise words of Aristotle — the excess of a virtue is a vice. As it relates to this particular topic, it's relevant because, while whole grains are good for us on a lot of levels, overdoing it can result in some unforeseen health issues, if we're not careful. So, as you're making out your next grocery shopping list, take into account eight good reasons to eat whole grains and four reasons to consume them in moderation.
1. They’re GOOD for Your Digestion
On average, whole grains contain somewhere between 3-5 grams of fiber per serving. As I'm pretty sure you know, fiber is essential to a healthy diet because it helps to keep "good bacteria" in your gut which makes it easier for you to digest food and have regular bowel movements. And the more regular your bowels are, the easier it is to keep toxins out of your body. All of this is a really good thing.
2. They’re GOOD at Fighting/Preventing Chronic Inflammation
Just for the record, inflammation is what happens when your system kicks up its white blood cells and whatever else it needs to go overtime in fighting bacteria or viruses. The challenge is, some people have health issues (for instance, arthritis) where, when inflammation happens, when there are no "invaders". As a result, healthy tissues become inflamed and damaged. Something that whole grains do is lower your risk of experiencing unnecessary inflammation. In fact, they are on the list of many health-related articles that mention anti-inflammatory foods. That is, unless you are allergic to a protein in wheat known as gluten. If that is the cause, it could cause inflammation in your system. I'll touch more on that towards the end of this article, though.
3. They’re GOOD at Redistributing Fat and Keeping Your Weight Under Control
Do whole grains help you to lose weight? Eh, it kind of depends on who you ask.
What I will say is, from what I've read and researched, consuming whole grains is a wise move on this tip because it has the ability to reduce the amount of fat that is currently in your system while redistributing it at the same time. For instance, people who replace white foods with whole grains tend to notice a real change when it comes to the amount of belly fat that's stored up in their abdominal region.
Sounds like a win to me!
4. They’re GOOD at Lowering Bad Cholesterol and Your Blood Pressure
If you want to keep your cholesterol levels and blood pressure under control, whole grains are really good at doing both. However, it should go on record that as far as your cholesterol goes, it lowers your LDL cholesterol and TC, not HDL cholesterol or triglycerides. Also, whole grain oats are the kind of whole grains that are most effective for this. As far as your blood pressure goes, because whole grains are a good source of potassium and potassium helps to weaken the effect of sodium in your system, that's why whole grains work so well in this department.
5. They’re GOOD at Giving You Your Daily Source of Vitamin B
If you basically want to take a B-complex vitamin, eat some whole grain foods. The reason why I say that is because they literally contain all eight B vitamins. This is good to know because B-vitamins help to boost your energy level, promote good digestion, strengthen your cells as they develop, keep your nerves in good shape, lower your stroke risk, boost your immunity, keep your hormones healthy and so much more.
6. They’re GOOD at Regulating Your Blood Sugar Levels
Here's another awesome point. While white foods (refined ones) can spike your blood sugar levels, whole grain foods are able to prevent this from ever happening. The main reason is because fiber has a way of assisting with insulin insensitivity. This means that the more whole grains you have — especially over white foods — the better you are at decreasing your chances of experiencing type 2 diabetes.
7. They’re GOOD for Your Oral Health
I bet you never thought that a bowl of oatmeal or some spaghetti that's made with whole wheat pasta could be good for your teeth; however, that is exactly the case.
The B-vitamins, iron, zinc, magnesium and antioxidants in them all help to keep your gums and teeth nice and strong. Also, since whole grains are good at keeping blood sugar levels in their place, this can promote good oral health overall.
8. They’re GOOD at Promoting Longevity
After reading all of the benefits that I just shared, it probably comes as no surprise to you that consuming whole grains is good for your overall longevity too. In fact, I read a study that said eating whole grains can lower your risk of heart disease by as much as 15 percent and overall death rate by 9 percent. Every little bit helps, right?
Now let's tackle just a few reasons why you should definitely balance how many whole grains you eat on a regular basis.
1. Eat Them in MODERATION Because They Can Trigger Bloating
Something that's interesting about whole grains is, although they're considered to be a pretty good source of fiber, the challenge is they're also an indigestible carbohydrate. When it comes to whole grains, specifically, this doesn't mean that they are bad for you. What it does mean is since your gastrointestinal tract lacks the enzymes to break them all the way down, they end up turning into a gummy texture in your system which slows down your digestive process which can ultimately lead to bloating. That said, the takeaway here is not that you should go without whole grains altogether, you just need to not have a ton of them in one sitting.
2. Eat Them in MODERATION Because They Can Also Trigger Autoimmune Diseases
First of all, let me say that if you've ever wondered what an autoimmune disease actually is, the short long of it is, it's when your body mistakenly attacks your immune system. OK, so remember how I said earlier that we would come back to gluten? Again, gluten is a plant-based protein that exists in a lot of different grains. Personally, I'm not big on the whole gluten-free diet for all because not everyone is allergic to it. However, if you are and you keep on eating it anyway, it can trigger the autoimmune disease known as Celiac disease. Also, if you've got some sort of a whole grain allergy and you battle with lupus, type 1 diabetes, multiple sclerosis, psoriasis, inflammatory bowel disease, etc., it can definitely cause the symptoms that are related to these health issues to flare up. In other words, whole grains and autoimmune diseases don't exactly get along.
3. Eat Them in MODERATION Because They Can Cause Kidney Stones
Recently, I was talking to my landscape architect about the reason why he had been MIA for a few weeks. "Have you ever had a kidney stone before? It's hell," he said with a miserable look on your face. Fortunately, I have not. I do know some folks who have, though, and they all express his same sentiment. If you can relate to where they are coming from, this is one more reason to watch how many whole grains you eat.
Something that whole grains have in them is an organic plant compound known as oxalic acid. While this acid is typically flushed out whenever we urinate, folks who are highly susceptible to kidney stones should be careful because this acid sometimes has a way of connecting to the calcium in our system which can ultimately create a kidney stone (ouch).
4. Eat Them in MODERATION Because They Could Reveal an Allergy
One more. I know a few people who are pretty healthy eaters and yet, for years, they were dealing with a lot of inflammation and bloating that they couldn't seem to get a handle on. That is, until they took an allergies test and realized that they were allergic to wheat and/or gluten. If after consuming whole grains, you notice that your skin feels itchy, you've got some bloating or inflammation going on, you have a headache, you feel nausea and/or you're going through an eczema breakout, it could be that you are allergic to a particular kind of whole grain. The only way to know for sure is to make an appointment with your doctor or to take a food allergy test. Everlywell is one company that offers food sensitivity/allergy tests that you can take from the comfort of your own home. The sooner you know, the better you'll feel about the kind of whole grains you eat, how much you consume them — and why.
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Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."
Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
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She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
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Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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