Quantcast

5 Signs You're In An Emotional Affair And Don't Even Know It

Love & Relationships

I already know I'm gonna get some "push back" on this. That's fine. As a marriage life coach — and someone who has dodged a bullet myself in this area — I've seen emotional affairs happen enough to stand firm on my opinion, which is this: I think having your spouse be your best friend is one of the best ways to affair-proof your marriage.

By no means am I saying that when you get married, your husband or wife should be your everything, that's too much pressure for any human being to endure. I'm not even saying that you shouldn't have friends of the opposite sex. What I am saying is, if you esteem your spouse as being the closest and highest quality friend that you've got (and they see you the same way), you'll probably be more prone to respect, trust, and emotionally rely on them above all of your other relationships. And that? That is what can keep what I'm about to share from creeping up on you.

'Cause here's the deal. Emotional affairs are an epidemic these days. Reportedly, 45 percent of men and 35 percent of women (although I personally believe it's A LOT more than that) have had one; 60 percent of them being work-related.

HBO's Insecure

And if you're someone who happens to think they're "not as bad" as a sexual affair, think again. People in emotional affairs tend to share intimate details about themselves, and sometimes stuff their own significant other doesn't know. People in emotional affairs tend to constantly compare their spouse to the other person. People in emotional affairs tend to have the kind of connection where both individuals really understand and enjoy each other — sometimes above their own husband or wife. What's "innocent" or "not so bad" about that?!

The reason why a lot of emotional affairs go undetected is because while it's clear when something has gone too far physically, sometimes people don't (initially) know when they've crossed the line on an emotional level.

In order to keep you from being an emotional affair statistic, here are some signs that I've noticed can have you caught up in someone who isn't your spouse — whether you realize it or not:

They Give You Butterflies.

media.giphy.com

Think back to the people who've given you those butterfly feelings, down deep in your stomach before. When you were a child, they were probably a teacher or one of your older siblings' friends. As you got older, it was probably someone you ended up dating, or at least kickin' it with. My point? Either it was someone you had a crush on, or someone who became more than a friend.

If there is someone in your life who has you feeling the way those people in your past did and that person happens to be married or in a relationship with someone else? Spin it however you want to, but you are attracted to them and on a slippery slope.

Attraction is the open door (or gateway drug) to taking relationships to the next level. If someone is spoken for, there should be no "level" on the menus other than a platonic connection and involvement.

Featured image via Shutterstock

Next Page

While Issa Rae's HBO show Insecure is coming to an end, the star just celebrated a new beginning. The writer/actress got married to her longtime boyfriend Louis Diame in July in the south of France. The couple released the wedding photos on social media on July 26. And while many people expressed excitement for the 36-year-old, others were left confused thanks to Issa's sense of humor.

Keep reading... Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.

At the start of each season, I browse the net to get an idea of the latest styles and trends to look out for when adding to my closet. When shopping, not only do I love items that are hot for the moment but mainly those that I can keep in rotation year after year. I especially look for styles that are both modern and classic, giving off an effortlessly timeless vibe.

Keep reading... Show less

Minnesota Timberwolves star Karl-Anthony Towns has had to deal with numerous devastating losses over the course of two years due to COVID-19. On April 13, 2020, his mother, Jacqueline Cruz-Towns passed away from the novel virus. He had several close family members pass from COVID-19 as well. And, in the beginning of 2021, Karl also contracted the virus and ended up in the hospital.

Keep reading... Show less

Is it just me or does it seem like, these days, folks are used to just throwing words and phrases out without really understanding what they mean? Take being a free spirit, for example. While some people may be spontaneous (at times), like to take risks or even be a lot of fun to be around, that doesn't automatically or necessarily make them a free spirit. In short, a free-spirited person is someone who's considered to be a nonconformist. And, even with that said, it goes a little bit deeper.

Keep reading... Show less

Before Naturi Naughton captured audiences as Tasha in Power and even before she played Lil Kim in the Biggie Smalls biopic Notorious, the actress was in the girl group 3LW. The group 3LW, which stood for 3 Little Women, composed of Naturi, The Real's Adrienne Bailon and BET Presents: The Encore's Kiely Williams, and they had many hits including "No More (Baby I'ma Do Right)" and "I Do (Wanna Get Close To You)."

Keep reading... Show less
Exclusive Interviews

Adrienne Bailon Wants Women Of Color To Take Self-Inventory In Order To Redefine Success

"You can't expect anyone else to care about yourself like you do."

Latest Posts