Quantcast
5 Signs You're In An Emotional Affair And Don't Even Know It

5 Signs You're In An Emotional Affair And Don't Even Know It

Love & Relationships

I already know I'm gonna get some "push back" on this. That's fine. As a marriage life coach — and someone who has dodged a bullet myself in this area — I've seen emotional affairs happen enough to stand firm on my opinion, which is this: I think having your spouse be your best friend is one of the best ways to affair-proof your marriage.

By no means am I saying that when you get married, your husband or wife should be your everything, that's too much pressure for any human being to endure. I'm not even saying that you shouldn't have friends of the opposite sex. What I am saying is, if you esteem your spouse as being the closest and highest quality friend that you've got (and they see you the same way), you'll probably be more prone to respect, trust, and emotionally rely on them above all of your other relationships. And that? That is what can keep what I'm about to share from creeping up on you.

'Cause here's the deal. Emotional affairs are an epidemic these days. Reportedly, 45 percent of men and 35 percent of women (although I personally believe it's A LOT more than that) have had one; 60 percent of them being work-related.

HBO's Insecure

And if you're someone who happens to think they're "not as bad" as a sexual affair, think again. People in emotional affairs tend to share intimate details about themselves, and sometimes stuff their own significant other doesn't know. People in emotional affairs tend to constantly compare their spouse to the other person. People in emotional affairs tend to have the kind of connection where both individuals really understand and enjoy each other — sometimes above their own husband or wife. What's "innocent" or "not so bad" about that?!

The reason why a lot of emotional affairs go undetected is because while it's clear when something has gone too far physically, sometimes people don't (initially) know when they've crossed the line on an emotional level.

In order to keep you from being an emotional affair statistic, here are some signs that I've noticed can have you caught up in someone who isn't your spouse — whether you realize it or not:

They Give You Butterflies.

media.giphy.com

Think back to the people who've given you those butterfly feelings, down deep in your stomach before. When you were a child, they were probably a teacher or one of your older siblings' friends. As you got older, it was probably someone you ended up dating, or at least kickin' it with. My point? Either it was someone you had a crush on, or someone who became more than a friend.

If there is someone in your life who has you feeling the way those people in your past did and that person happens to be married or in a relationship with someone else? Spin it however you want to, but you are attracted to them and on a slippery slope.

Attraction is the open door (or gateway drug) to taking relationships to the next level. If someone is spoken for, there should be no "level" on the menus other than a platonic connection and involvement.

Featured image via Shutterstock

Next Page
A Cancer Diagnosis Before I Turned 30 Taught Me The Importance Of Surrender

I've spent the past five years of my life learning to love myself and striving to be at peace. After being in a constant state of learning and unlearning, I was ready to breathe. I was ready to be free and live. So, when I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer last July, I didn't know how to feel.

Keep reading...Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.
Queen Latifah Reveals The Woman Responsible For Her Laid Locks & Perfect Color

Queen Latifah has received many accolades over the course of her career such as a Grammy, BET Lifetime Achievement award, and an Emmy. But one category she continues to slay in is best hair, in which we can all agree she gets 10’s all across the board. Whether it’s a red carpet appearance, advertising, or acting in roles such as The Equalizer, Queen Latifah's, born Dana Elaine Owens, hair is always laid.

Keep reading...Show less
Style Forecast: 6 Spring Trends That Are Fresh From The Runway

New York Fashion Week has come and gone, but the fashion moments will remain forever. After getting an up close and personal look at a few of my favorite collections, I spotted an array of exciting spring trends coming down the runway. From emerging designers such as No Sesso to CFDA winner Theophilio and Luar, these were just a few that set the tone for what is soon to come.

Keep reading...Show less
Tia Mowry Is Reminding Us All About The Power Of Setting Boundaries And Self-Love

Tia Mowry is choosing self-love as a path to happiness, which may be the reason behind her glow. While she announced on Instagram that she was divorcing her husband of 14 years, Cory Hardrict, she is focusing on herself. In an interview with Access Hollywood, which took place days before she announced her divorce, the mother of two shared the secret behind her recent glow.

Keep reading...Show less
Tiwa Savage Shares The Foundation-Less Beauty Routine That Enhances Her Glow

Tiwa Savage is one of Afrobeats' biggest stars and with such a hectic schedule and being a mom, she managed to take time out of her day to share her skin care routine with fans. Check out her Beauty Secrets with Vogue below:

Keep reading...Show less
Exclusive Interviews
Latest Posts