15 Super Random (& Weird) Facts About Sex
Sex fascinates me. I make absolutely no apologies for that fact. We got here because of sex. I'm a marriage life coach and sex is a big—HUGE—part of a marital union.
And, although I sometimes feel like the Church could stand to be reminded of this on the regular, sex is all up in the Bible—"be naked and not ashamed" (Genesis 2:24-25); "drink out of your own cistern" (look up what cistern means sometime—Proverbs 5:15); "Dear lover and friend, you're a secret garden, a private and pure fountain. Body and soul, you are paradise" (cue the song "Secret Garden" right here, y'all—Song of Solomon 4:8-15—Message); "do not withhold from your spouse" (I Corinthians 7:5) and, one of my personal favorites "There's more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact" (I Corinthians 6:16—Message)—these are all Scriptural references regarding copulation.
Due to all of this, if someone were to ask me what one of my passions were, sex—including sex education—would definitely top the list. And since I can't be good at educating anyone unless I study up on it myself, I try to spend at least a few hours a week seeing what's going on in the world of sex.
What do I have for you today, ladies (and gents who also enjoy the site) are some random and even semi-strange facts about sex. Some will make you laugh. Some will evoke a lift of the brow. Hopefully all will make you think—and then test a few of 'em out.
Ready? Sex ed class is officially in session, y'all.
Eating Apples Can Improve Your Orgasms
Some of you might've read this and thought, "Duh. It was the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden, after all." Yeeeah. I'm not quite sure where we got that from because Scripture doesn't say that (Genesis 3). But what research has revealed is women who consume more than one apple a day do not only increase in lubrication but are able to have more (including more intense) orgasms. Eat up!
Sex Is a Great Cure for the Common Cold
Gargling apple cider vinegar can reduce the duration of a cold. So can having sex. What they both have in common is they help to strengthen your immune system. When it comes to sex specifically, if your partner has the sniffles and you're afraid of getting it on with them, kissing is what will give it do you; sex won't. That's because colds (nor influenza) aren't transmitted via sperm or vaginal fluid.
Oral Sex Lengthens a Man’s Penis
I've penned an article on the site before about just how beneficial consuming sperm is (check that out here). Here's another oral sex gem. When it comes to penises, even though most of our nerve endings are in the first 1-2 inches of our vaginal opening (so no, technically size doesn't matter as much as a lot of us think), if you wish your man was packin' more than he is, fellatio can help him out. Although researchers are still trying to figure out the connection, one study reveals that a man getting oral sex ultimately lengthens his penis size. Hmph.
If You Use Emojis, You Tend to Have More Sex
The next time you send a winky face, some praying hands or, eh hem, an eggplant and whoever you text makes fun of you on using emojis instead of words, school 'em on what it really means. Believe it or not, a few years ago, TIME magazine published an article with this title—"People Who Use Emojis Have More Sex". Yep. You read that right. It even goes so far as to say that women who use kiss emojis have an easier time having an orgasm. Emoji away!
Sex Improves Women’s Memory
Got a test coming up? Something you can do to increase your chances of passing it is to get some the night before. Yep. What one study has revealed is direct penile-vaginal intercourse can significantly increase your memory and verbal recognition. Pretty cool, huh?
The Love of Music Will Help You to Have More Sex
If you love all things music, here's a good reason to listen to it more often. No matter how crazy or random this might seem, it would appear that people who listen to music out loud have sex 67 percent more than individuals who don't. By the way, if you're wondering what genre of music mentions the word "sex" the most, it's hip-hop and then pop with R&B holding (surprisingly) fifth place.
Weekly Sex Will Regulate Your Menstrual Cycle
Is your menstrual cycle all over the place? Something that just might help to regulate it is having sex on a weekly basis. The reason why is because the luteinizing hormone in your system is what helps to keep your period coming on the same day (give or take a couple of day), every month. When you have sex, it helps to balance this hormone out.
Sex Is About as Effective as Aspirin
One time, a husband told me that whenever he wants to have sex and his wife claims to have a headache, he tells her that his penis will do more for her than an aspirin ever will. Turns out that there's some truth to that. How sex works is, whenever you do it, it triggers endorphins into your system which soothes your nervous system and relieves your headache (even your migraines). Hey, don't knock it until you try it!
Women Are More Attractive During Ovulation
Procreation isn't the sole purpose for having sex (not by a long shot), but we all know that sex makes babies. That's why it comes as no shocker to me that women are more attractive to men during their time of ovulation just like women are hornier during that time of the month too. I'm pretty sure this all works hand in hand, actually.
A Top Three Favorite Sex Toy Among Women Is a Candle
Although I like to backlink sources as much as possible, because the sites connected to this random fact are NSFW, you'll just have to take my word for it (or Google it yourself when you get home). Anyway, something else I happened upon is next to vibrators and sex toys, what women enjoy masturbating with most are candles. Unlit ones, of course.
Cold Feet Can Hinder Climaxing
Personally, I hate sleeping—or sexing—with socks on. One reason is because I don't like being hot. Another reason is because I read somewhere that folks who keep socks on during sex have deep-rooted intimacy issues. However, what studies reveal is folks who keep their socks on when they have sex are able to have more orgasms than those who don't. Experts claim it's because it's easier to climax when our feet are warm.
Wyoming, Alaska and Vermont Have the Kinkiest Sex Sessions
Take it for what it's worth, y'all but the states where people have the kinkiest sex are not New York or even California; it's Wyoming, Alaska and Vermont. Maybe because there's not much to do there? If you live there, you tell me (LOL). As far as the places that have the longest sex sessions, that award goes to New Mexico, West Virginia and Idaho. The minute-man states are Vermont, South Dakota and Alaska.
Did you peep how two of the kinkiest states have the shortest sex sessions. Maybe kinky is connected to quickies.
Men with Belly Fat Last Longer
If you've been pressuring your man to get a six-pack, you might wanna pull back on that a bit. The truth of the matter is that men who have a bit of a belly bulge are able to last longer in bed than men who are constantly in the gym all of the time. According to an article I read, oftentimes as much as three times longer. Wow.
Fun fact: If you put on a combination of pumpkin and lavender essential oils, it can increase the blood flow that rushes to your man's penis by as much as 40 percent. (You're welcome.)
Female Night Owls Have Higher Sex Drives
If you're a night owl, you're probably having more sex than earlier risers. You might think it's because most people have sex at night out of convenience, but that's not actually the reason. The scientific reason is the longer a woman stays up, the more that the stress hormone cortisol will increase in her system. Cortisol is directly-connected to arousal and taking risks. Although, to be perfectly fair regarding the study, female night owls also tend to have a harder time getting into and maintaining the relationship. (Don't shoot the messenger!)
There Is No FDA-Approved Condom for Anal Sex
Last but not least, y'all. Last summer, our managing editor penned a beginner's guide to anal sex. Since 21 percent of women between the ages of 25-29 and 22 percent of women between the ages of 30-39, it's a relevant topic. At the same time, I do think it should go on record that there is currently no condom for anal sex that's been FDA-approved. This means, there is no condom that they are willing to, pardon the pun, back up. That's pretty serious when you actually think about what a condom is designed to do (protect you from transmitting and receiving STDs). The more you know, sis. The more you know.
Featured image by Getty Images
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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It was early spring 2023 when Joey Bada$ pulled up for a chat with us on love and relationships courtesy of our Dana Blair-hosted "xoMan Live." There, he clarified that though we felt the sizzling chemistry between him and singer/actress Serayah radiating off our screens in the music video for his single, "Show Me" and rumors were swirling of a possible romance, that they were just friends.
"We got a pretty cool friendship, and I think she’s gorgeous. I think she’s talented," Joey shared with xoNecole at the time. He would later dead the rumors even further by announcing his relationship status, "I'm single." But he'd leave the door open for the possibility of a thing, adding, "Things could happen."
Joey Badass Clarifies His Relationship With SerayahYouTube
Since then, things have indeed been happening between Joey and Serayah, who was previously romantically linked to Jacob Latimore, as their "just friends" status has seemingly blossomed into something more. The love they imitated in the name of art proves to be much more beautiful in real life. "I’m staying ready, so I don’t gotta get ready if that makes sense, you know what I mean," he shared in our interview about feeling "ready" for a relationship. "I don’t want to say that it’s anything I’m looking for, like I understand the way the law of attraction works."
These days, the look of love is undeniable and we are here for this couple showcasing their deep affinity for one another out loud whenever possible. Keep reading for a brief timeline of the love between Serayah McNeill and Joey Bada$$.
June 2023: Joey Bada$$ Flies Serayah Out for an Epic Birthday Trip
In what is regarded as their first hard launch as a couple, Joey took to Instagram to share a compilation of short videos they took while boo'd up on a birthday trip for Serayah's 28th in a tropical paradise. After previous denials of a romance, the Raising Kanan actor confirmed their relationship by captioning the post, "happy birthday my love."
A little over a week later, Serayah dropped her own version of a hard launch in a series of photos on IG showcasing some BTS moments of her and Joey.
August 2023: Joey Bada$$ Shouts Out Serayah For National GF Day
We stan! Joey took National Girlfriend Day as an opportunity to show love for Serayah, sharing on Instagram Story a series of never-before-seen photos and videos of some of the couple doing and enjoying life together.
January 2024: Serayah and Joey Celebrate His Birthday In St. Lucia
Birthday trips seem to be a welcomed tradition for this couple as they spent Joey's 29th birthday in paradise where they effectively brought the sand to the beach. "Celebrating you is something I'll always love to do," Serayah captioned her Instagram post to Joey and their tropical escape. Joey left in a comment of appreciation, "Aquemini," it read in a nod to the Outkast album, as well as the couple's sun signs.
September 2023: Joey and Serayah Pop Out at New York Fashion Week
Shareif Ziyadat/Getty Images
From New York Fashion Week to international trips to Tokyo for Joey's shows, September 2023 proved to be a booked and busy month for the Flutter vocalist and the "Passports & Suitcases" artist. Joey shared a carousel of highlights of street-style moments in their matching outfits for the fashion event with the caption, "NYFW FESTIVITIES."
Serayah posted some Tokyo memories to her IG that didn't skimp on the Black love, writing, "tokyo was a dream."
February 2024: Serayah and Joey Take Fashion Week
This year, Serayah gave a BTS look at her time during February's New York Fashion Week, and of course, boyfriend Joey Bada$$ was there to show love and support.
February 2024: Serayah Teases The Arrival of New Heat with Throwbacks Of Her and Joey
What better way to announce the debut of your latest EP of R&B-meets-rap influences than to drop archives of your own relationship mirroring those same influences? ARCHIVES is out now.
March 2024: Serayah McNeill and Joey Bada$$ Attend ESSENCE Black Women in Hollywood
Monica Schipper/Getty Images
Serayah was a vision in gold as she graced the red carpet of the 2024 ESSENCE Black Women In Hollywood Awards Ceremony arm in arm with rapper beau Joey Bada$$. In February, Joey professed his forever love for Black women in "A Love Letter To Black Women," in partnership with Bumble. The "Fallin'" rapper began in the video, "I don’t think I tell you this enough, but you are so sacred to me."
"Just know you got my heart. The only one I’m coming home to. See, I been in my heart and mind, trying to find the right woman and they say that love is blind, but you looking right to me," later adding, "Please never forget how truly blessed you are. I’ll cater to your visions and be there while I’m growing your purpose. Real love is our language. And a Black woman is a blessing in my life."
March 2024: Joey Bada$$ Responds to Viral Video of Him and Serayah Arguing
Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
In March, a viral video of the couple arguing and Serayah crying made rounds all over the internet and sparked speculation that Joey and Serayah had broken up. To squash the rumors, Joey assured inquiring minds that everything is good over here by posting a series of photos of the two of them loved up and enjoying a night out on the town, captioning it, "People all in our business they don’t even know the facts, they don’t see the shit we witness only what the cameras catch."
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Featured image by Robin L Marshall/Getty Images for ESSENCE