Sometimes, things end so that better things can come together. Singer-songwriter, actress, and director Zoë Kravitz is a true believer in the bittersweetness of endings. It was something that she first opened up about in 2021, shortly following her divorce from actor Karl Glusman.
Back then, she was talking about projects she had in the works and detailing her thoughts about the beauty of breakups in a 2021 cover story with AnOther Magazine. "I got married. I got divorced. Separations, breakups are sad but are beautiful things too. It's about the bittersweetness, that beginning and that end. It's so complex, that space, when you're in between heartbroken and mourning the loss of something and excited for what's ahead of you," she told the publication.
Little did she know what was ahead of her was her directorial debut in a film she co-wrote called Pussy Island. One of the thriller's stars would be actor Channing Tatum, whom she'd meet in 2021. And there would lie her new beginning. Rumors of the pair dating started to circulate after they were spotted riding a bike together in New York City in August 2021. Kravitz and Tatum (who was also previously married to longtime love Jenna Dewan) seemingly found love and maintained a relatively low profile during their budding relationship.
Shortly after rumors of a romance between the collaborators swirled, an interview with WSJ was published where Kravitz was quoted saying about Tatum, "When you make things with people it's a very sacred space, and when you're compatible with somebody creatively it often opens up other channels, because you're kind of sharing all of yourself." She continued, "I'm really grateful that this movie has brought him into my life that way."
Fast forward to just last week, the couple announced that they were engaged after two years of dating. Kravitz, 34, and Tatum, 43, were spotted in matching Halloween costumes as Rosemary and Rosemary's "baby," respectively, and Kravitz was spotted sporting what looked like an engagement ring. Sources confirmed exclusively to PEOPLE that the couple is newly engaged, so big congrats are in order!
Channing Tatum and Zoë Kravitz are seen arriving at Kendall Jenner's Halloween party on October 28, 2023.MEGA/GC Images
On the heels of this exciting news, here's a look back at Zoë Kravitz's dating history and the "bittersweet" endings that led her to what might be her best beginning yet.
A Deep Dive Into Zoë Kravitz's Dating and Relationship History
Zoë Kravitz Relationship with Ben Foster (2007-2008)
Kravitz and Ben Foster dated between 2007 and 2008.
Dimitrios Kambouris/WireImage
It is speculated that Kravitz and actor Ben Foster dated between the years 2007 and 2008, though neither actor has ever publicly confirmed the relationship. Despite being spotted together at different events both on and off the red carpet, whether they were an item or not was kept private. Nevertheless, Ben Foster, whom she co-starred with in the movie Birds of America, seems to be her earliest Hollywood relationship.
Zoë Kravitz Relationship with Michael Fassbender (2010-2011)
Kravitz had a brief fling with older castmate Michael Fassbender during filming of 'X-Men: First Class.'
Dave Hogan/Getty Images
This relationship was never confirmed in the media, although the photos, which you can find through a simple Google search, can tell you that love was in the air for a time with these two. Kravitz and Michael Fassbender met in 2010 on the set of X-Men: First Class.
Their 12-year age difference might point to this being more casual than long-term, with Kravitz being 22 at the time of the fling and Fassbender being 34.
Zoë Kravitz Relationship with Penn Badgley (2011-2013)
Jamie McCarthy/WireImage
Yes, that Penn Badgley. Following his split from his Gossip Girl co-star Blake Lively, Badgley entered a relationship with Kravitz that lasted two years before losing its steam. For most of the relationship, Kravitz didn't speak much about the You star. He, however, was quoted referring to the love he shared with Kravitz as one that was "earth-shattering."
In a 2013 interview with Movie Line, he spoke of the way 22-year-old Kravitz changed him and inspired his portrayal of Jeff Buckley in Greetings From Tim Buckley, saying about their relationship, "At that time I was falling madly in love in a way that was changing me and opening me up." He added, "I was kind of going through what Jeff [Buckley] was going through emotionally in the movie in the sense that the worlds of music and love and women and art were opening up to me. Honestly, I needed it. It was like this cosmic intervention where, if you're going to play somebody like Jeff you've got to at least be in love, you know?"
"And being in love, real, true, earth-shattering love – even though it sounds hyperbolic I really was going through it — helped me be as good as I could be," Badgley continued about Kravitz and her influence on his performance.
The relationship reportedly came to an end in June 2013.
Zoë Kravitz Relationship with Karl Glusman (2016-2020)
Foc Kan/WireImage
Kravitz met actor Karl Glusman through a mutual friend in 2016 and began a relationship with him sometime after. By now, you might notice that the actress has a pattern of keeping things about her love life private, and her relationship with Glusman was no different. The Big Little Lies star quietly dated Glusman from 2016-2018 before announcing their engagement in October 2018 with Rolling Stone. It would later be revealed that she was proposed to in January 2018. She kept the news under wraps for so long by wearing her ring around her neck instead of on her finger.
The couple tied the knot in 2019 but would split 18 months later, with Kravitz filing for divorce. In a March 2022 interview with ELLE, she confirmed that there was no bad blood about their ending, even referring to her ex as an "incredible human being."
"It really is less about him and more about me learning how to ask myself questions about who I am and still learning who I am, and that being okay. That’s the journey I’m on right now," Kravitz explained to the mag.
Zoë Kravitz Relationship with Channing Tatum (2021-Present)
James Devaney/GC Images
The Magic Mike star and the Batman actress have been reportedly "inseparable" since his casting for the forthcoming film Pussy Island back in 2021. Though they crossed paths before in 2017 while voicing the animated characters in The Lego Batman Movie, Kravitz and Tatum (who were also in other relationships at the time) wouldn't connect until 2021, both divorced and happily single. A common thread between the pair seems to be a mixture of mutual admiration and creative compatibility.
Tatum sang Kravitz's praises for the work she was doing behind the camera for Pussy Island in a July 2022 interview with ET. "I'm in awe," he said of her directorial debut, adding that when he was at the helm for the 2022 film Dog as co-director he "barely survived" but that Kravitz was "killing it." He also said that with his role in her film being so different from others he has played in the past, it was nice to be directed by someone who "saw me."
He continued about Kravitz, "She's got a weird gift for that. She sees right through a lot of people's stuff and really, just who they are to her is really simple. She's one of the more intentional people I've ever met in my life."
Kravitz also gushed about Tatum in a GQ cover interview in 2022, calling the actor "a wonderful human." She told the mag, "He makes me laugh and we both really love art and talking about art and the exploration of why we do what we do. We love to watch a film and break it down and talk about it and challenge each other."
Additionally, the 34-year-old Kimi actress recalled for the mag how much of a saving grace Tatum was for her on the set of their film. She said, "Whether it was making me tea or pouring me a drink or going to whip someone into shape or whatever — he really was my protector and it was really wonderful and sweet."
"I think if you can do something like that together, it's a good test. And we came out even stronger," she added.
Congratulations once again to the happy couple!
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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1. Create a Budget. Stick to It.
GiphyBudgets, boy. I recently read that one of the reasons why they don’t work for a lot of people is because many folks don’t have a clue about how much money they spend on a monthly basis to begin with. SMDH. That said, at the end of the day, it’s important to remember that a budget is simply setting boundaries/limits on your spending — and being intentional about moving in this fashion is always a wise move; especially when it comes to this time of the year…especially being that it’s typical for half of all Americans to take on some type of holiday season debt with 17 percent needing six (or more) months to pay it off.
Know what can prevent this kind of financial chaos? A SPENDING BUDGET. Tips for how to create one of your own this year can be found here.
2. Never Shop When You’re Stressed or Pressed
GiphyYou know how they say that it’s not a good idea to go grocery shopping when you’re hungry? Although the holiday season can be a stressful time, avoid shopping for gifts (or décor or food for recipes) when you are feeling stressed out or pressed for time. More times than not, that cultivates anxiety which could cause you to either purchase things that you don’t really want or to spend money that you don’t really have (P.S. If you’re relying on credit cards, that qualifies as money that you don’t really have. Just sayin’).
3. Don’t Keep Up with the Joneses
GiphyKnow something else that can stress you out: trying to keep up with the Joneses. And y’all, now that we have social media, the reality is that envy is at an all-time high. That’s because it can be really easy to watch holiday engagements, holiday trips and folks bragging about the things that they’ve received in times past, only for you to find yourself wishing that you were them — or putting pressure on yourself and those in your world to keep up.
Listen, it is King Solomon who once said, “So are the ways of everyone who is greedy for gain; It takes away the life of its owners” (Proverbs 1:19 — NKJV) and “A sound heart is life to the body, but envy is rottenness to the bones” (Proverbs 14:30 — NKJV) and he’s considered to be the wisest man who ever lived (during his time — I Kings 4:30). Yeah, both of these verses are a spiritual reminder that whatever you are planning to do or give, do it out of the goodness of your heart — not so that you can low-key “outdo” the next guy.
4. No Need to “Tit-for-Tat”
GiphyThis one might be a bit controversial yet I’m totally okay with that. I don’t care what the occasion is, no one is OWED a present. A gift is a voluntary token of one’s appreciation or affection. That said, if you decide to give someone a present this year, don’t automatically expect something in return. If you get something, cool. If not, if you were giving for the right reasons, it really shouldn’t matter (RIGHT?). On the flip side, if someone decides to get you something and you don’t have something to offer in return, also cool.
Other than going to someone’s home for a holiday dinner or party, for anyone to feel like they should have something in hand because someone else does…that’s not giving, that’s competing — and that absolutely should not be the spirit that you are in (or around) during this time of year.
Again, a gift is not an obligatory thing. If you’ve always thought otherwise, it’s time to do some serious reprogramming.
5. Avoid the Pressure to Buy for Lots of Adults
GiphyLast month, Newsweek published an article that said it’s wise to not spend a ton of money purchasing gifts for adults. A financial expert in the piece said that it’s best to buy for kids because, more times than not, you’re going to get adults something that they already have a lot of, they don’t really need or they’re not going to use (beyond maybe regifting) anyway.
If you’re not feeling that insight, my take would be to exchange names and set a price cap for the grown folks. I say that because, I don’t think that people ever outgrow wanting something over Christmas. It’s just that the over-the-top energy should be reserved for the kiddies — and even then, the “4-gift rule” (want, need, read, experience) is probably your best bet for them…financially and otherwise.
6. Go for Thoughtful over Expensive
GiphyIt’s kind of wild how much close-to-torture folks send themselves through to purchase gifts that, a good 6-8 months now, most folks aren’t even going to remember. That’s why it’s also a good idea to purpose in your mind to get something thoughtful over expensive.
Honestly, that’s a big part of the reason why Etsy continues to be a go-to for gifts (for every occasion) for me. It’s because you can oftentimes get things customized/personalized which ends up meaning so much more to people than something that you bought at a generic department store that might have a high price tag yet still lacks in sentimentality and deep meaning.
7. Use Coupons and Promo Codes
GiphyCoupons (and promo codes) are a slippery slope in the sense that…they remind me of when I used to go overboard while thrift store shopping. I say that because, just because I might find several bomb dresses for under $20, what am I going to do with 50 of ‘em (over time)? It’s just as much of a waste of money as buying couture if neither option gets much use.
And that’s kind of the thing about coupons and promo codes. Some people end up overspending because they rationalize that so long as there are discounts attached, it’s all good. At the same time, this doesn’t mean that you should forego coupons and promo codes altogether. The key is to put together your shopping list (and budget) and then use discounts specifically for those items. If you do this, you could save well over $1,000 annually (at least, depending on what you decide to buy).
8. Avoid Add-Ons
GiphyYeah. Dodge add-on expenses. Add-ons like what? The first thing that comes to my mind is a warranty. What’s the chance that someone is actually going to need that? Another example is paying for things to be “professionally” gift wrapped. Chile, throw that stuff in a gift bag with some tissue paper and go on about your day. All good.
9. Rethink Gift Cards
GiphyIf there is any time of the year when there is a noticeable hike in gift card purchases, now would be it. And although they are a convenient approach to gift giving, at the same time, many come with hidden fees, the full amount oftentimes goes unused (which ends up being a waste of money) and they do come with expiration dates that are oftentimes forgotten.
So, if you’re someone who likes to wait until the last minute to do your holiday shopping, resist the urge to impulsively pick up a handful of gift cards. Unless it’s to a place that you know someone is going to use within the next few months, they could end up in somebody’s kitchen drawer for the next couple of years. And what a waste that would be.
10. They’ll Get It When They Do. And That’s Okay.
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GiphyOne more. Although it is super thoughtful and proactive to get people their gifts in time for whatever occasion you purchased them for, if trying to reach that goal is going to require paying for rush shipping that is damn near as high as the price of gift or spending a lot of gas money that you don’t have at the moment to drive miles and miles away — take the pressure off to spend a ton of cash just to make sure that something arrives at December 25. Listen, through doing business with Etsy, I have learned that through this administration, there are all sorts of tariff issues going on and the USPS is slower than ever too, so paying more may not guarantee much.
The hack? Send a message that something special is coming…soon enough. The thought really is what counts (more times than not); plus, it builds anticipation of something good coming, even if it’s after all of the Christmas Day hoopla. And no one (with sense) is going to have a problem with that.
Now don’t you feel better? Happy Holiday Shopping, sis.
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