

During the 2024 Emmy Awards, Niecy Nash delivered an inspiring acceptance speech that left the audience in awe. She declared the best investment one can make is in themselves, leading to the greatest decision she ever made. This statement resonates with many of us as we strive to achieve our goals and dreams. As a Black woman in Hollywood or corporate America, navigating the workplace can be overwhelming. Like any journey, there are ebbs and flows. However, it's important to remember that you are not alone.
Women in the workplace face unique challenges that can make it difficult to lead in their most authentic way. Fortunately, there are individuals like Odessa "OJ" Jenkins, the CEO of Bonfire Women, who are taking on the challenge of cultivating a more inclusive, supportive, and winning workplace culture.
As a trailblazer for women in football and the founder of The Women's Football Club, OJ is a Hall of Famer, a 7x National Champion, a 2x USA Football Team captain, and a 3x Team USA Gold Medalist. The football champion spoke with xoNecoleto provide critical tools and insights for both aspiring leaders and experienced professionals. She emphasizes the importance of being paid your worth and establishing best practices to receive proper recognition, especially in the face of adversity.
Because remember, it's your season to win!
xoNecole: What three lessons would you impart to women who strive to redefine success in the workplace so it won't crush their souls?
Odessa Jenkins: First, remind yourself that success is within you, not something that gets defined for you. Once you can answer the question, 'What do I want?' defining success becomes easier. It's not what the world wants for you, but what do you want?
Secondly, lose fear and ask for what you need and want. I think the idea for many women is that we are afraid. We limit ourselves because we haven't achieved or don't see ourselves in certain positions. We're afraid to be the first. We're afraid to make mistakes. Just lose all fear and ask for what you need and want.
Lastly, to realize the power of a woman. Realize that you have, as a result of being a woman in the world, experienced adversity like no one else has. That you have the power to multiply like no one else does inherently. Lean in on those very real powers to get ahead in the workplace and the world.
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xoN: Have you ever been in a position that has crushed your soul?
OJ: I don't think I've ever had my soul crushed because I don't think I've ever let the world have that much of me. I have been disappointed, both disappointed in myself and in the system. I can think of moments in my career where I didn't go after something I knew I could have achieved because I didn't see a person like me doing it. I can admit there are times when I let someone talk me out of taking a risk because they were afraid and not because I was.
Then there are moments, and continue to be, where I can see progress in the system. I can see sisters getting opportunities at work and the face of work and industries changing. But I also see this war on inclusion happening because things are changing in the workplace, and opportunities are becoming more equitable. While I get excited about that, I'm also still very disappointed in it.
xoN: In a recent interview, you stated, "Nothing has prepared me for executive leadership more than my time as an athlete and coach." Why is that?
OJ: Adversity and resilience. When you are an athlete and grow up as a team sport athlete, you get reminded over and over of two things: your role and your responsibility. So you get transparent about accountability. But you also get challenged daily, build courage, and build resilience. You practice it. You practice what would happen if things got harder for you; how would you overcome them?
Sports is uniquely positioned in that. How often do you get to practice what happens if something doesn't go your way, and then you get to redo it? It's not something that most people get to do. Usually, you study, take the test, fail or pass, and then move on to the next test. Well, sports isn't that way.
Instead, you practice, learn, engage with your team, and learn how to communicate. You practice the failure, you practice the success, you practice what happens if you don't, you practice having a tie. I believe those things build resilience and courage in you that are useful as a woman in executive leadership. If you are going to be particularly a woman of color in the leadership ranks in today's workplace, you must have abundant resilience and courage because you are usually sitting in virtual rooms where you are the only one.
xoN: Absolutely! And how important do you think it is in promoting transparency and vulnerability in leadership?
OJ: Transparency equals trust, and gaining trust amongst your team is critical to success because you can't know what to do with your resources, wins, losses, or plans. It's a tool you must have and always use in your toolbox as a leader. The vulnerability comes in waves. You need to know when and how it's comfortable for you to be vulnerable. You have to know what the right level of vulnerability is for you. Generally, if you're vulnerable, other people are vulnerable too. It creates this very brave and safe space, and that's how you get stuff done as a leader.
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xoN: As an executive leader in coaching and helping equip women for success, what are some common challenges you've witnessed women overcome in breaking down the boys' club in corporate leadership?
OJ: One of the first things you must do to break down some of these work barriers and unlock opportunities at work is to start with yourself—the willingness to go outside your comfort zone. To know when and how to share your opinions and points of view to create influence and allyship, even when you're not in the room.
But then it starts with not going at it alone. How are you networking? How are you creating a community around you? What does the sisterhood and brotherhood look like for you at work? How intentional are you being about that? That is another way to unlock it. Also, unlocking the door is one thing, but propping it open and leaving a ladder when you get there is another. I'd be remiss not to say I think things would move faster for women in the workplace if some women would get out of the way. We have to be intentional about making space and creating equity for other women and be unapologetic about it.
xoN: Can you offer negotiation tips to help women reach their salary potential and minimize pay equity?
OJ: Do your research, and don't be afraid to ask. There are a lot of tools online, but there are also a lot of tools in your network. Also, know your number. A lot of people don't know what their number is. Please don't make it mathematical because it's not about asking for 10% more than you thought, than you were offered, or some arbitrary thing. If you are familiar with the work and have researched, then figure out the right number post-offer that will make you feel valued. Not right now, not yesterday, but for doing this job for the next 12 months.
And there's nothing wrong with negotiating. It is table stakes for having a conversation. It's something that should be expected. If you have an employer who finds it offensive that you've negotiated your salary or are willing to share your value, you're probably talking to the wrong employer.
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Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Okay, so let's start here. Did you know that approximately 75 percent of Americans suffer from dehydration? And, while you might think that this article is running during the summertime because that is when we tend to be outside and perspiring the most, the reality is this could actually be published any time of the year. Why?
Because there is no time on the calendar when our bodies don't need a good amount of fluids running through them—you know, being that we're made up of around 65 percent water ourselves.
When your body has the right amount of fluids running through it, not only can that help to keep you nice and cool, but it can also keep your muscles and joints working at their optimal levels (you know, like while you're swimming or taking long walks along the beach 'n stuff). Plus, spending a lot of time out in the sun can definitely put you on the road to being dehydrated—quick, fast, and in a hurry.
If you're wondering if you already are dehydrated, but you're not sure what signs to look for to confirm it, here are 10 that tend to get overlooked, far more than they ever should.
1. Thirst
If you've ever heard the saying, "If you're thirsty, you're already dehydrated," there is actually a significant amount of truth to that. When there is a lack of fluid in our system (or too much sodium in our body), the amount of water volume that we need in order for our body to work correctly drops, which makes us want to drink more.
You can stay on top of this by drinking 2-3 cups of water per hour (when you're awake, of course). If you do that, you should avoid feeling thirsty or parched. And, when it comes to your body "flowing" smoothly, that's a good thing.
2. Fatigue
Word on the street is that when you're at the point of dehydration, you've already lost somewhere between 2-3 percent of your own body fluid. If that happens, it makes total sense that you would start to feel tired, drained, lethargic, and fatigued. When there isn't enough fluid in your system, your blood volume drops, and that keeps your brain from getting all of the blood (and oxygen) that it needs.
Plus, dehydration makes your heart pump faster than it needs to as well. So yeah, if you want an energy pick-me-up, drinking more fluids is a surefire way to go.
3. A “Pop Off” Spirit
If you feel like you're about to snap on somebody, drink something first. A couple of glasses of water, if you can. While it might sound crazy on the surface, another bona fide indication of dehydration is that you're in a bad mood. How do the two dots connect?
When your fluid levels are low, the neurons in your brain are able to easily detect that. As a result, they will signal to other parts of your brain what's up, including the area that regulates your moods. Hmph. Considering 75 percent of Americans are chronically dehydrated, it makes you wonder how many are irritable, short-tempered, and just plain mean, simply because they don't have as much fluid in their body as they should, huh?
4. Blurred Vision
Have you ever had moments when, while scrolling through your Instagram or trying to watch television, your eyes suddenly became blurry? Before you freak out, drink more. Our eyes need fluids in order to remain moist and comfortable. This means that when we are dehydrated and our body fluid levels drop, that can result in dry and irritated eyes. This is just one more reason why drinking more water is such a good idea.
5. Sugar Cravings
If you want to get a grasp of just how serious sugar addiction in this country is, check out Healthline's "America's Deadly Sugar Addiction Has Reached Epidemic Levels." But if you're typically not someone who is big on sugar, and yet, you find yourself having moments when you can't seem to get enough of it, this could be another sign that you're dehydrated.
Something that our organs need is a healthy amount of glucose. Well, when we don't have enough liquid in our body, that can make it difficult for organs like our liver to release glucose and provide our bodies with an energy boost. As a result, we might think that we need a sugar rush when really, all we need is to drink more. How crazy is that?
6. Unexplainable Breakouts
Whenever I get pimples that have nothing to do with my period, it's usually a heads-up for me that I need to drink more water. Something else that drinking more does is flush toxins out of our system and help to keep sebum from clogging up our pores. A lot of us are out here thinking that if we put everything under the sun on top of our zits that they'll go away. But the reality is, if we drank more good ole' H20, we probably wouldn't have so many pimples to deal with in the first place.
7. Bad Breath
There is someone I went to high school with who had the worst breath ever. Well, she and a guy I went to college with actually ran neck and neck with this particular "award." In hindsight, something that I realize they had in common is that I rarely, if ever, saw them drinking water. It was juice, soda—anything but. Here's the thing about that—when we don't get enough fluid into our system, that keeps us from producing the amount of saliva that we need in order to flush out oral bacteria.
When bacteria linger, not only does that create a breeding ground for tooth decay, but it can make our breath smell pretty damn tart as well. Just one more reason to drink more; more specifically, drink more water. For your sake and the sake of those around you.
8. Constipation
Quiet as it's kept, one of the leading causes of constipation is dehydration. We eat our food, it goes into our colon, and, if we don't have enough fluids in our body, our colon takes in the water from the food waste, making it harder for the waste to pass through us.
Constipation can ultimately lead to everything from hemorrhoids (from straining to having a bowel movement) and stomach aches to a lack of appetite and bad breakouts. All of it sucks. Avoid this by getting at least 6-8 glasses of water in on a daily basis.
9. Muscle Cramps
Do you ever get random Charley horses in your leg? Aren't they the absolute worst, especially if they happen in the middle of the night? That used to happen to me until I got more water into my system. What I discovered is that whenever I'm dehydrated, the lack of water (and sodium) that my muscles need can result in them tightening up in a way that oftentimes feels just like cramps.
This is really important to keep in mind, especially if you work out (and sweat) a lot or you plan on spending a lot of time outdoors where you'll lose a fair amount of body fluid.
10. Dry Skin
As we age, something that we definitely need to do is get more fluids into our system. When we don't, our skin starts to lose elasticity, which can lead to sagginess and wrinkles. Not to mention the fact that if our skin's pores don't get enough fluid, the natural sebum that we produce can decrease, resulting in our skin becoming mad parched and looking super dry.
So, if you want your skin to be soft, supple, and moist, you already know what I'm gonna say, right? Water will help to prevent your skin from looking and feeling parched, which can keep you looking younger than ever for longer than expected. Drink up, sis.
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Originally published on July 8, 2020