There are moments in life when it feels like things just won’t seem to look up. Disappointment strikes, rejections come from all directions, and you couldn’t find the “bright side” of your situation if you held a flashlight up to it.
This mental pit, known as a ‘downward spiral,’ is an occurrence that comes from life’s circumstances but can be difficult to spot until you’re deep within it. But in order for you to shift the direction of your spiral from a downward decline to an upward trajectory, you must first be able to detect the signs of when your mental health is headed in the wrong direction.
According to Dr. Jonathan Leary, founder of the Remedy Place — a social wellness club, downward spirals can manifest in many different ways, so it's important to be aware of the signs in order to prevent further decline. “A lack of social support and connection can negatively affect mental and emotional health,” he explains. “Pay attention to signs of withdrawal from social activities, decreased interest in hobbies or relationships, or a sudden change in social patterns.”
In addition to involuntary solitude, Dr. Leary shares that mental and physical health issues such as depression, anxiety, excessive stress, chronic illnesses, or conditions that are not properly treated can lead to a decline in one’s well-being. “These signs may include changes in mood, decreased motivation or energy, difficulty concentrating, or increased irritability.”
Being able to identify the signs of our rough patch is the first step to making a pivot out of these dark moments, and once the clouds clear, it might just be time for you to spark your upward spiral.
WHAT IS AN UPWARD SPIRAL?
“An upward spiral refers to a cycle of positive changes and experiences that contribute to an individual's overall well-being and happiness,” he explains. “It involves a series of interconnected factors that build upon each other, creating an upward trajectory in various aspects of life.”
Creating these cycles of positive momentum and growth can positively impact one's well-being, confidence, and overall outlook on life. That’s why Dr. Leary says that creating your own positive feedback loop can be the fuel you need to ignite tangible change in your life. “The positive changes in one area of life can spill over into other areas — for example, improved physical health can boost self-esteem and motivation, leading to increased engagement in social activities and personal growth,” he says.
Finding your spark can start with you setting small, measurable goals to reach, pursuing personal interests, and continuously learning and growing can foster a sense of purpose and accomplishment. “As individuals make progress toward their goals, they experience a sense of self-efficacy, confidence, and satisfaction, leading to increased overall well-being,” Dr. Leary explains.
Small, positive actions can lead to bigger changes, so implementing new habits and mindsets into your daily life can not only keep the flame of your upward spiral burning bright but also lead to bigger changes in wellness.
“Cultivating a daily gratitude practice by acknowledging and appreciating the positive aspects of life can shift focus toward the good and enhance optimism,” Dr. Leary shares. “Breaking down large goals into smaller, achievable micro-goals can provide a sense of progress and motivation, so celebrate small victories along the way, as they build confidence and momentum toward larger goals.”
He continues, “Remember, the key is to start small and gradually build upon these habits and mindsets over time. By consistently incorporating these positive actions into your daily life, you can create a ripple effect that leads to bigger changes, greater well-being, and an upward spiral in multiple areas of your life.”
HOW TO PRACTICE SELF-COMPASSION:
At times, hitting a downward spiral can seem unavoidable, but there are ways to prevent things from going bad to worse, and it’s all about being proactive about noticing the first sign of distress and regularly checking in with yourself to honestly assess your physical and mental well-being. If you are on the journey toward an upward spiral, remember that practicing self-compassion can be an invaluable resource along the way.
So if you’re looking for a place to start, consider the following strategies from Dr. Leary in the slideshow below:
4. Reframe Negative Thoughts:
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RELATED
The cast was filled with eye-candy like McKinley Freeman, Michael Ealy, and Sean Patrick Thomas (Morris Chestnut was added to season two), and a few love scenes that will make you clutch your pearls. xoNecole had the opportunity to chat with the show’s leading lady, Emayatzy Corinealdi, about what we can expect in season two and how she balances keeping her joyful spirit and body-goals physique.
McKinley Freeman, Emayatzy Corinealdi, and Morris Chestnut
Photo by Robin L Marshall/Getty Images for ESSENCE
xoNecole: First, I have to say I’m a fan of the show and your story. I know how you moved to LA 20 years ago to chase this dream, and that world can be so tough while navigating life and motherhood. So, my first question is, how do you balance it all and maintain your well-being?
Emayatz Corinealdi: Girl, it’s just my faith. It helps me by realizing that I'm not perfect. I can't do it all. I realize it’s okay to make mistakes. Giving myself that grace really helps because I used to feel like I have to keep all of the balls in the air and everything has to be one particular way. Now, I’ve learned that I’m almost dishonoring my faith by believing that everything starts and ends with me, and I can just do the whole thing. I can't - well, I can't without letting it go and letting God. That’s really the key.
xoN: So let’s get into the show. What was it like playing a character that is inspired by a real person (Attorney Shawn Holley from the OJ Simpson trial)?
EM: I've only played an actual person in another film. But this isn't truly her, this is just inspired by Shawn Holley. But at the same time, I still want to represent because she is one of the baddest to ever do it. I have so much respect for her and she’s also an executive producer of the show. I want to make sure that I represent not only her, but all the Black women who are attorneys and work in this field. So in that sense, yes, it's always in the back of my mind.
xoN: Okay, so you know, here at xoNecole, we talk a lot about love and relationships. And Jax was in a very interesting love triangle. But it seems like, ultimately, she chose her safe place. I'm curious, personally, what's your thoughts on passion versus security in relationships?
EM: I really think you could have both. I don't think you need to make a choice in that. Ideally, you want to have a relationship where you’re interested and invested - not just settling for the security of things. That’s the route I suggest - not settling. But people have all kinds of reasons why they do things, so I'm never judging.
Ideally, you want to have a relationship where you’re interested and invested - not just settling for the security of things. That’s the route I suggest - not settling. But people have all kinds of reasons why they do things, so I'm never judging.
xoN: Now, can we talk about one of our favorite MCMs over 40, Morris Chestnut? I heard he’s joining the new season. Can you tell us a little about how your characters will interact?
EM: Well, where we left off on season one, Jax had this traumatic experience, with Damon's character. So now, Jax is trying to pick up the pieces because everything is in a state of disarray. She’s trying to find herself again. She feels like, ‘How did I not see this coming? I'm usually on it. I'm sharp. Why did I allow myself to get into this situation, you know?’
So she's asking all these questions when her friend needs her. But then, probably for the first time, Jax realizes she may not be fully able to do what she needs to. So she reaches out to who can get the job done. And that's where Corey comes in, played by Morris Chestnut.
xoN: Speaking of Jax, I don’t know how she has time but that woman is always running. But obviously, to keep that physique, you must personally have a strict exercise regimen too. Can you share a health and fitness tip for the girlies?
EM: Yes, Jax runs, and she's in shape. But I love to run as well! That was one of my favorite things about the character. There’s a huge hill by my house, and I run it about three or four times a week when I’m able – otherwise, it's one or two. But that's a large part of my mental health as well, just feeling good in my body and keeping that going. And I generally like to work out outside. I'll even take my weights and mats. I don't really like gyms, but outdoor workouts help me keep it together.
xoN: You mentioned mental health, last season touched on so many necessary conversations. Themes like abuse and mental health were addressed. Are there any other heavy themes being explored this season that we should prepare for?
EM: Definitely. Domestic violence is going to be a huge theme. Dealing with Janelle’s character, we're going to find out a lot more details about their marriage and how things played out, and what she was really going through.
xoN: Wow, that can be taxing. I’ll close with this: how do you protect your mental health? Would you mind sharing a key practice?
EM: I generally start every day with a devotional. That helps me set the tone for the day… Outside of that, I just center myself multiple times. Instead of allowing things to get me stressed out, I recoup and take moments back. I’ve found that to be helpful, especially when a lot of things are happening. Nothing will fall apart while you take that one second. And if it does, that's okay. I recommend just giving yourself grace.
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