CURLS Founder Mahisha Dellinger Went From Poverty To Penthouse
If you are a big fan of the OWN network, you might have seen Mahisha Dellinger's face around recently as the new host of the television show Minding Your Business with Mahisha.
Or, if you are a product junkie that indulges in the best of the best for your natural, you might be an unknowing supporter of her hair care empire, CURLS.
In fact, Mahisha built an astounding $15 million brand and owes it all to her risk-taking ambition and disadvantaged upbringing. Mahisha was willing to take chances where others saw risk and with knowledge obtained through her 9 to 5, she single-handedly paved the way for natural hair care.
The 45-year-old womanpreneur recently spoke with xoNecole about her career journey and shared the secret of how she went from poverty to penthouse.
Born in South Sacramento in an area dubbed "Danger Island" to a young single mother, it's safe to say that the cards were never dealt in Mahisha's favor. "I was my mother's second child by her second boyfriend. The first was a pimp. The second was a college educated Tuskegee University graduate who deemed her unworthy to marry," she told xoNecole.
Mahisha learned self-dependency at an early age. With her mother often working or away from home, the CURLS founder was tasked with taking full responsibility for herself at only 7 years old. "I witnessed everything from drive-bys (my home being a target on multiple occasions due to my brother's gang activity), home invasions, and murders, pimps and prostitutes… Friends pregnant by 15, while some of their brothers didn't make it to see 18. My first sexual experience wasn't by choice, [it] was by gunpoint at the age of 14. I was a young single mother destined to be another statistic."
It was then she had to make the decision to be a leader, or to be inevitably led into poverty, and the young entrepreneur refused to fall victim to the latter.
Mahisha learned that growing up on the rougher side of the tracks was as much a gift as it could have been considered a curse. In her position, she saw personally how generational cycles of poverty plagued the community, neighborhood, and even her own family. From that point, she was determined to take control of her life and break free from the cycles that surrounded her, and she knew that there was only one way to make this happen.
To her, an education was the key to unlocking that freedom. "I took control of my destiny, my legacy, [and] my kid's legacy by finishing my education," she explained.
After finishing school, Mahisha had an idea that would fill a void for curly haired naturals, women of color in particular, and would change the natural hair game forever. In 2002, CURLS was born. It was a risky move, as this was the cusp of the naturalista wave and black women embracing their natural curls hadn't yet been widely accepted as it is today. Mahisha did her due diligence, researched her market and put her extensive chemistry background to good use. As a result, she was able to benefit from launching early, long before the wave hit.
As a seasoned vet, it is common knowledge that entrepreneurship isn't all it's made to seem on social media. After almost two decades in the game, Mahisha shared a few lessons with us that she feels every entrepreneur should know before jumping into the arena. "Your chances of failure are FAR greater than succeeding [because] 80% of businesses fail by year five. Don't let Instagram fool you into thinking the grass is greener on the other side, they just used a filter," she continued. "Entrepreneurship can be extremely lonely. You will have to sacrifice fun for funds if you want to grow your business."
Although African American female-based businesses are on the rise (up 300%), only 4% make it to the million-dollar mark, which is where Mahisha's new series Mind Your Business with Mahisha comes in to lend a hand to aspiring entrepreneurs.
She is proof that where you come from doesn't determine where you're going and is committed to taking up the torch and lighting the way to bridge the gap. Mahisha might have come from poverty, but thanks to her relentless faith and determination, she and her whole family are living it up in the Penthouse.
And she's still good on any MLK Boulevard.
For more of Mahisha, follow her on Instagram.
Originally published on September 10, 2018
Danielle Smith is a Toronto-based Personal Development Junkie on the gram @youbettaglowgirl. She keeps her hands full as a Writer, Speaker, Stylist & Non-Profit Founder, all while doing her most important job as a full-time mama of one. Marching to the beat of her own drum and a playlist of her favourite 90s R&B, she's blazed a path of her own.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images