Reka Robinson Tells The Truth About The Beauty In Being Single
As a certified Life Coach aka the Single Girls Life Coach, Reka Robinson wants women to discover their worth. She is the host of Single You "The Podcast" and the founder of Single You Academy, an online community and resource for women. After experiencing a break-up from a toxic relationship in the year 2017, Reka was devastated. She wanted to find healing and made it a priority for herself to become more spiritually, mentally, and emotionally aligned. After doing some inner self-work, she realized that this particular break-up was something she needed to go through to tap into her purpose. It was a blessing in disguise.
"I want to emphasize that there is beauty in marriage, but there is also beauty in being single. Let's tell the truth, singleness is not a punishment."
Reka Robinson, now two years as a solo entrepreneur, understands what it means to use her story to help others. For Reka, finding balance is not about only focusing on the good, but using past pain to reach a higher version of yourself. Society likes to emphasize #relationshipgoals and tie it to your success as a woman, but what about #selflovegoals? It is important to remember that, as women, we are capable of accomplishing anything we set our minds to because we are more than enough outside of our relationships. Reka Robinson shows women that regardless of your relationship status, finding that balance in your life starts with YOU first.
For this installment of "Finding Balance", xoNecole had the chance to speak with 'Living Single' advocate Reka Robinson about embracing the beauty of singleness, tapping into her purpose from pain, and the power women have within themselves.
Courtesy of Reka
"I learned what God meant when he said he was going to use my story. God wants other women to feel seen from my story, just like I feel seen in other women's stories."
xoNecole: At what point in your life did you understand the importance of pressing pause and finding balance in both your personal and professional life?
Reka Robinson: It has definitely been a journey with figuring out the balance. After my break-up, I started my healing journey. During my healing, I was also working full-time doing morning radio. There came this moment when there was a shift in me. I was getting this feeling that morning radio may not be for me anymore. This feeling disrupted my sleep patterns and it came off in how I felt when I would show up to work. I just knew it was no longer fulfilling for me. So I prayed about it and made the decision to make a change. It was time to close a door and open a new one for what God chose me to do. My quote for this year is, "Obedience and execution of strategy is my job. The outcome is God's."
xoNecole: What is a typical day in your life? If no day is quite the same, give me a rundown of a typical work week and what that might consist of.
Reka: I get up at around 9:00 a.m. To start my day, I either put on a sermon or do bible study. I try to stay away from my phone and social media as much as possible in the morning. So the two most important things are to spend time with God and/or move my body. Going into the afternoon, I intentionally do not take any client calls until 1:00 p.m. So in the afternoon, I am in work mode, whether it is answering emails, speaking with clients, or working on social media strategies. I usually end the work part of the day at around 7:30-8:00 p.m.
xoNecole: How do you wind down at night?
Reka: I LOVE candles. I love the orange and yellow glow that candles bring to a room. I light my candles and I have a humidifier that I like to set up. Watching the steam is very therapeutic for me. But after that, I give myself a moment of gratitude. I thank God for getting me through another day and I celebrate myself for accomplishing what I wanted to get done for that day. Scratching things off of my to-do list is everything.
xoNecole: Do you practice any types of self-care? What does that look like for you?
Reka: I read A LOT. After my break-up, I became hungry for knowledge. I have been able to read up to 20 books within a year. So reading for me is really my best self-care practice. Because with knowledge, you can change your whole life.
xoNecole: What advice do you have for busy women who feel like they don’t have time for self-care?
Reka: There is this quote that I saw saying, "If you do not have 5-10 minutes for yourself a day, then you don't have a life." You have to find that moment in your day that is dedicated to you. When you are super busy and you are super stressed, our bodies harbor that. Everything is connected and when you find that time to sit and be still, you will see the difference in yourself slowly but surely.
Courtesy of Reka
"I give myself a moment of gratitude. I thank God for getting me through another day and I celebrate myself for accomplishing what I wanted to get done for that day. Scratching things off of my to-do list is everything."
xoNecole: How do you find balance with:
Friends?
Reka: Everything in my life, I feel is scheduled [laughs]. I have really good friends that are also solo entrepreneurs. So what we like to do is schedule meetups on Clubhouse to talk about different topics or we have COVID-safe girls' nights where we celebrate each other and catch up. I think it is important to be intentional with groups of women and I am really happy with my friendships right now.
Love/Relationships?
Reka: I am not actively dating right now. But this is what I have to say about this topic: I am focusing on my business and really enjoy my singleness. My prayer to God is, "OK listen God, your sons down here, they need your help [laughs]. I don't need any distractions, but if you want me to be with somebody, hide me from everyone else." I want to know the moment that I am presented to him, he was meant to be presented to me.
Health? Do you cook or eat out often?
Reka: I find no joy in cooking. That is not my ministry at all [laughs]. I honestly have spent so much money eating out. But recently, I started intermittent fasting and it was one of the best decisions I've made. I started using my fasting as a way to connect with God more and more clarity on what is next for me. I want to strengthen my spirituality and stay focused.
xoNecole: When you are going through a bout of uncertainty, or feeling stuck, how do you handle it?
Reka: The quality of your life is determined by the questions you ask it. Figuring out where this feeling is coming from and why you are feeling this way is so powerful. I talk to myself a lot and ask myself questions when I feel that anxiety. Getting to the root of why you are actually reacting to certain things, you need to walk yourself through that.
xoNecole: Honestly, what does success mean to you?/What does happiness mean to you?
Reka: Success to me is doing the things you said you want to do. I have my checklist and when I get to cross that line through a task, I am just so proud of myself. Like, YOU DID THAT GIRL [smiles]. I had to stop tying my identity to my job when I finally left it. I am so much more than my job. Me being able to complete the things I want to do in my own way is success, which also can tie into happiness. Happiness comes from that freedom to do exactly what you want to do and get things done.
To learn more about Reka, you follow her on IG here. You can also check out the Single You podcast here.
Featured image courtesy of Reka Robinson
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'K' is a multi-hyphenated free spirit from Chicago. She is a lover of stories and the people who tell them. As a writer, 9-5er, and Safe Space Curator, she values creating the life she wants and enjoying the journey along the way. You can follow her on Instagram @theletter__k_.
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
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The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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There Are Actually Scientific Reasons Why So Many Of Us Adore The Fall Season
Chile, maybe I’m just biased, but when I read earlier this year that the majority of Americans prefer the fall season over any other one, all I thought was, “Duh.” There really is no telling just how many articles I’ve written for this platform alone that have mentioned how fond I am of autumn and especially the month of October. I like the temperatures (well, I mean, global warming excluded). I like the scenery. I dig the outfits. I like pulling out my blankets and sipping on warm cider — hell, when it comes to fall, I adore pretty much everything about it.
Know what’s wild, though? There are actually some science-based reasons why so many of us are such big fans of that time of the year — one that is steadily approaching. So, if you’ve been trying to talk yourself out of getting a new neutral-colored comforter for your bed or you’re wondering if you’ve already gone too far with the pumpkins that you’ve got on your porch — my answer would be that you haven’t done enough to officially ring fall in! I’m not the only one who thinks that, either. Quite a bit of research thoroughly agrees.
It Takes Us Back to Our Childhoods
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It’s very common for fall to create feelings of nostalgia.For instance, even though it’s the season that technically doesn’t happen until the third week of September, many of us associate it with the first day of school, high school games, new television schedule line-ups (gee, remember that?), some of our favorite foods and drinks (like ginger snaps and hot cocoa), corn mazes, carving pumpkins, going trick-or-treating, attending fall festivals and so much other stuff that made autumn such a special time while growing up. Yeah, I bet if you thought back to what fall was like back when you were a kid right now, at least a couple of memories would immediately bring a smile to your face. (See…I told you.)
The Aesthetic Is Cozy and Comforting
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Scented candles. Roaring fireplaces. Fresh chrysanthemums. Foliage art. Metallic branches in vases. Neutral throw rugs. Carved pumpkins. Warm hues. Big throw pills. Cable-knit blankets. All of these are things that say “fall is here” in the most cozy and comforting ways. I mean, can you think of another time of year that beckons you to stay indoors more than fall does? Yeah, me neither.
It Boosts Your Self-Image
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Listen, if there’s one thing that I’m gonna do during the fall and winter seasons, it’s layer my outfits. That’s actually one of the reasons why I like fall so much — it’s because the fashion and style takes tend to be super on-point. And yes, based on what I’ve read, that’s another reason why a lot of people like the fall so much…since layering is about adding additional articles of clothing on, you don’t have to worry (as much) about the condition that your body is in like you do in the summertime. And when your body image is elevated, so is your confidence overall.
The Landscape Calms Us Down
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You might’ve already been aware of the fact that when you spend time in nature, it can help to de-stress you. Well, were you also aware of the fact that the beautiful colors of fall foliage can keep you calm as well? If you know anything about color psychology, this makes a lot of sense, considering a lot of leaves are shades of red (love), orange (happiness), and yellow (hope). So, if you’ve had a really stressful day at work, take the long way home to check out some fall trees or even rake up a pile and jump into them like when you were a kid. It could end up giving you the feeling of much-needed relief that you’ve been looking for.
It Creates a “Temporal Landmark”
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If you’ve never heard of a temporal landmark before, the long short of it is it’s moments in time that stand out to you to the point that it creates the perceptions that you currently have, plus it influences how you use your time in real-time. Since the holiday season kicks off during the fall season, activities like football games and homecomings mean a lot to people, and for some of us, the fall season marks the beginning of a new year (Rosh Hashanah), that’s another thing that makes autumn such a wonderful time of the year — we enjoy the way that we spend that season…a lot.
It’s an Unexpected Motivator
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On the heels of what I just said, whether you observe Rosh Hashanah or the winding down of the year is simply when you choose to pause and reflect in preparation for the calendar new year that is to come, some people really like the fall season because it motivates them to set new plans and goals. In fact, when you get a chance, check out “Why Fall Is The Perfect Time To Prep For The New Year.”
Using the next couple of months to ease into the new year makes a helluva lot more sense than jotting something down on New Year’s Eve real quick and then pressuring yourself to follow through for the first month of January.
It Means More Time with Family and Friends
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There’s probably no other time in the year when you are able to spend so much quality time with your loved ones than during the fall season, especially if they live out of town. I mean, just Thanksgiving alone proves that. Plus, winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21, which means that if you take time off leading into Christmas to visit family as well — that’s two times in less than a month that you’ve been able to get in some family and friends bonding time. If you love being around your family, fall always gives you time with them to look forward to.
It Means More Fall-Themed Sex
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When you get a chance, check out “Here's How To Have Some Really Great Fall-Themed Sex.” A part of the reason why I wrote it is because, did you know that late fall/early winter are the best times of the year to get some nookie? If you don’t believe me, also read “Did You Know Fall & Winter Are The Best Times To Have Sex?”
Between it being darker for a longer period of time, science saying that rainy weather actually makes us hornier, and pumpkins being an aphrodisiac (among other things) — if fall wasn’t your favorite time of year before you read this, maybe it will convince you to change your mind. Enjoy your fall season, everybody! Oh, and read up on what the combination of pumpkin and lavender scents can do for your boudoir experience. Thank me later. #wink
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