I live in Nashville, TN. So, if you are aware of the tornadoes that we had in early March, you already know that those, on top ofthe coronavirus outbreak, have had us a little on edge—and slightly numb (understandably so, I might add). However, I'm pretty much an ambivert (which is kinda like the person folks might assume is an extrovert when they are actually more of an introvert) and an at-home writer. That pretty much boils down to the fact that self-quarantining is a lifestyle for me, even before Nashville's mayor issued a "Safer at Home" order to try and control the pandemic in my county.
The introverts in my world? Although the thought of being at home for weeks on end doesn't have them exactly turning backflips, at the same time, their attitude is more in the lane of "I mean, now is the time to work on a few projects and catch up on some reading." Oh, but the extroverts that I know? Bless their hearts. Literally. Some of them have expressed to me that they are on the verge of losing their minds, all because of how bored they are. I get it. A lot of their energy and inspiration comes directly from interacting with other people. That is being tested to the utmost these days.
It's another article for another time, how much we're going to need to tend to people's mental health once this storm passes because, as they say, no man is an island and human interaction is important. But while officials are trying to make sure that our physical health is the top priority (or at least some of them are; peep "Florida City Official Calls Out Mayor for COVID-19 Response". That commissioner is a hero. Straight up), if you are an extrovert—someone who is outgoing, hates to be alone, thrives in large groups, has lots of friends and is always up for a good party or event, etc.—who is trying your best to practice social distancing, yet, at the same time, you feel like you are low-key going insane without having some physical interaction, here are a few ways to make coping with this interesting time in our world's history a little easier to bear.
Talk Face to Face—Online or on the Phone
Because most of my counseling sessions are via the phone, I have a landline. It's also the number that my friends call me on. Matter of fact, the only time I do any real face to face chatting is when I'm speaking to my goddaughters. But whenever I do (in my case) hop onto Google Hangout, it really does feel almost like I am right there with them. I'm an Android kind of gal but, while I'm sure that most of you iPhone folks FaceTime often anyway, definitely amp the frequency up a bit during this time of social distancing. Also, when you're on your laptop or computer, hit up a platform like Skype (you can speak to up to 10 folks on there). It's not exactly like physical interaction, but in many ways, it's a wonderful alternative.
Use This Time to Host a Webinar
A webinar is basically a virtual event that is held online. A good example of one is the meeting some of the xoTribe recently had through our relatively new app recently. Basically, what happens is a speaker (or small group of speakers) makes a presentation to an online community who can then submit questions, answer surveys or interact with the speakers.
The cool thing about webinars is, not only can you hold events from the convenience of your own home, but it's an effective way to earn a few bucks in the process too.
If you're trying to build up an audience, you might want to do a few free webinars first. Then, once you've created a following, you can offer some exclusive content, some advance trainings or special product offers to those who are willing to pay for future webinars (by the way, you tend to make more money if you present paid webinars as a series and offer a bulk price). Webinars are a great way to "scratch the itch" of interacting with people while building your brand and (eventually) getting paid for it. If you'd like some tips on how to make your webinar one that really appeals to people, I've included some how-to videos here, here and here.
Download Some Extroverted-Friendly Apps
Apps. Lord, what would we do without them? Even if your smartphone is already loaded with a ton, I've got a few recommendations that were created with the extrovert in mind.
Meetup. If you want to use this time to meet new people or make new friends, Meetup may be the app that you've been looking for, perhaps without even knowing it. The features on the app make it possible for you to find local groups who have similar interests to you, whether it's books, yoga or cooking (those are just examples). Meetup makes connecting easier by letting you put in keywords to find exactly what you are looking for. You can use the app for personal or professional reasons—or both.
Tapebook. If you dig podcasts, then you will love Tapebook. It basically makes it possible for you to participate in social podcasting because you can either start of blog or vlog on your own via the app, or you can call up a friend and start recording the conversation that the two of you are having (with their permission, of course). You can then publish your tapes on the platform's Tapefeed for other members to check out. Since over 100 million people listen to at least one podcast a week, by downloading this app, you just might be onto something.
Whisper. Whisper is an interesting kind of app because you can speak as freely as you want with its 30 million members. Why would you take that kind of risk? Well, the true identity of people on the app is hidden. There are no friends or followers on the platform, but there is an open chat (it uses your location to help you bring others into your group). I know a lot of extroverts who like to get all kinds of random stuff off of their chest. If you're one of 'em, now you've got an app that'll let you do it. Anonymously.
Vero. If the ads and algorithms of apps like Instagram are driving you up the wall, you might want to give Vero a shot. According to the creators of the app, vero means truth and their app is a place where you can share all of the things that you like without all of the "extras" (like ads and algorithms) so that you can more easily connect to people who share your interests. From what I can see, it is "cleaner" (meaning, it has a lot less clutter) than a lot of social media apps do too. That alone can at least make it worth checking out.
Houseparty. One app that has gained a ton of popularity as of late is Houseparty. It lets up to eight people talk together. When you feel like interacting with people, you simply log on to the app and, if any folks on your list are available, they can join you. Generation Z is all about this app. Oh, if you're concerned about safety, Forbes wrote a piece on that very topic. Check out "Houseparty: Is The Hit Coronavirus Lockdown App Safe?" (from what I read, the answer is "yes").
Thrive As a Remote Worker
Boy, this social distancing/quarantining is having domino effects in ways that truly boggle the mind. For instance, the weekend that my city went into "Safer at Home" status, the adapter to my main laptop went on the fritz. In my mind, I thought to myself, "No problem. I'll just purchase a new one." Five stores later, I still had no luck. Why? Because due to the coronavirus and the need for social distancing, thousands and thousands of more people are working from home which means that thousands and thousands of more people are upgrading their computer equipment.
Anyway, if you happen to fall into the work-from-home category, another way that you can shine as an extrovert is to put your best foot forward on the professional front. See if your company uses sites like Slack and Buckets to stay organized when it comes to communicating with one another. Recommend using Zoom to participate in video conferencing.
Speak with your supervisor or manager about possibly starting a small online group that offers support to other co-workers who are also working from home; maybe the group can meet for an hour after work via a video platform to have a glass of wine and share stories—it can be like getting a drink at work only, everyone's at their own house. Or maybe lead an exercise group where everyone can workout together in the mornings via the same video platform.
The key is to use your extroverted nature to bring more joy and interaction to others—even if, for the time being, you have to rely on technology in order to do it.
Cross Online Dating Off of Your Bucket List
There is a network of Black actors who live in Cali who I dig. One of them goes by Minks and, I promise you that he had me crying recently while checking out his skits "HOOD STUDIO SESSIONS" and "UBER CHRONICLES PT. 5". So, when one of his recent offerings "QUARANTINED", I just knew that I had to check it out. I don't know what was funnier—him getting into a dance battle with the actual movie You Got Served, him throwing dollars at some strippers that he found on a television show somewhere, him playing Twister with himself, or him having a romantic dinner with an "I Love You" balloon (LOL). Anyway, that last one is a reminder that if you are an extroverted and single, another option is to try a little online dating.
The reality is that, these days, three out of 10 people do it and, in America, more than half of all relationships actually start online. If you're a little skeptical, talk to some of your friends who've done it before to get a feel for what they think about you creating a dating profile. Also, check out video features like "Online Dating as a PoC", "Is Online Dating Really THAT BAD For Black Women? Mask & Chat", "How we met on Tinder!" and "ONLINE DATING WORKS! Story of how we met!". If you want to know what apps are people-of-color-friendly, Dating Advice has a list (although again, you might want to confirm it with some friends who have used the sites). I mean, it beats talking to a balloon, right? Chile, here's hoping so.
Do Something Nice for Someone Else
A historian and playwright by the name of Howard Zinn once said, "Small acts, when multiplied by millions of people, can transform the world." Since, as an extrovert, you get a lot of your fuel by others, use this time of crisis to lend a helping hand.
If your city lets you go to the grocery store, offer to purchase something for the person in front of or behind you. If there is a senior on your block, ask them if there is anything that you can get for them while you're out. When you are ordering food for delivery, be intentional about giving a larger than usual tip to the driver who delivered it to you. You already know that the world is wearing the hell outta streaming platforms. Why not get a couple of friends an online gift card to their favorite one? Send someone you care about an email or text about how much you love and appreciate them. Play a few games on Free Rice; when you do, they donate rice to hungry people through the world (the site is free; so are the games that are on it).
Donate some of your time or talents and abilities to help someone get an idea off of the ground. If a customer service person who works for your electricity, cable or water company was especially nice and professional, ask to speak with their supervisor to let them know (because customer service people are hearing A LOT of complaints right about now). If you want to help an entrepreneur out, Kiva lets you give or lend money to ones all throughout the world. These are just some examples that, even if you can't directly interact with others, there are still ways to profoundly touch their lives. Like the rest of us, you'll survive this as an extrovert. It just takes thinking a little outside of the box. That said, please feel free to post comments if you've got other suggestions on how extroverts can survive social distancing as well. We'd love to hear 'em! In the meantime, remain safe, healthy and totally you!
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
5 Ways To Overcome Depression As An Extrovert
Make Your Personality Type Work FOR You
How To Build A Personal Brand Based On Your Personality Type
Did You Know Certain Personality Traits Get More Sex Than Others?
Feature image by Shutterstock
- What happens to your body and brain when you're quarantined, and ... ›
- The Extroverts Guide to Quarantine: How to Survive Social ... ›
- How to Survive Social Distancing as an Extrovert | Her Campus ›
- Tips to survive social distancing for extroverts and introverts ... ›
- Survival Tips For Extroverts Committed Social Distancing | Seattle ... ›
- Social Distancing Is Business as Usual for Introverts ›
- Even With Social Distancing, People Are Finding Ways To Connect ... ›
- Extroverts: How to Survive Social Distancing {Secrets From an ... ›
RELATED
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock
If, while on your continual journey to get the best out of your own tresses, you’d like to learn how to get them healthier than it’s ever been, I’ve got seven acids that are typically known for skin use that can be just as beneficial to your hair as well.
1. Salicylic Acid
When it comes to your skin, salicylic acid is beta-hydroxy acid that is great for your skin if you’re looking for something that will exfoliate it, clear out your pores and dissolve dead skin cells. In fact, this is why it’s an acid that is quite popular when it comes to treating acne.
Your hair will enjoy salicylic acid because, if you’re looking to remove product build-up, you want to soothe an itchy or irritated scalp or you’ve got some dandruff flakes that are totally driving you up the wall, salicylic acid has the ability to treat all of this. Either purchasing a shampoo that contains this ingredient or adding it to your favorite scalp scrub is probably the most effective way to get the most out of it.
Just make sure that if your scalp is sensitive or dry that you approach with caution. In these instances, it could end up irritating your scalp more than helping it out, so use a very little bit in the beginning to make sure that it vibes with you.
2. Lactic Acid
Lactic acid is an alpha hydroxy acid that can help to even out your skin tone as well as slow down the signs of aging. The properties in it help to do this by reducing hyperpigmentation and boosting collagen production in your skin as well as keeping it hydrated.
Why is it great for your locks? For one thing, lactic acid is considered to be a humectant. This means that it pulls water from the air so that your hair is able to remain moisturized.
Another thing that makes it a winner is the fact that lactic acid breaks down dead skin cells on your scalp (so that your hair follicles are able to flourish), it can help to soften and detangle your hair (making it a helpful addition on your wash days) and it also helps to protect your tresses from heat styling tools and UV damage. Applying a hair rinse that’s made up of part lactic acid and part water can work wonderfully (so long as you apply it once a month, tops; more than that might be too “intense” for your hair strands).
3. Glycolic Acid
Glycolic acid is a water-soluble alpha hydroxy acid that is actually made from sugar. Your skin will adore it because it smooths the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, improves the texture of your skin, gently exfoliates, clears your pores and brightens up your complexion overall.
The reasons why you should consider this acid for your hair is because it helps to keep your scalp youthful (and yes, there is such a thing; check out “Your Scalp Ages Six Times Faster Than Your Face. Why It Matters.”), removes excess sebum (that could be clogging up your hair follicles) and it helps to keep your hair moisturized. Your best bet here is to make it a part of your pre-shampooing ritual.
4. Succinic Acid
Succinic acid is an acid that is made from sugar cane and contains antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties. Although it doesn’t exactly exfoliate (like many of these other acids do), it can still be beneficial to your skin when it comes to reducing the kind of irritation that is associated with eczema, decreasing the bacteria that leads to breakouts and keeping your skin pretty hydrated.
As far as your hair goes, this is an acid that is worth trying out because it helps to balance the sebum that is on your scalp, remove dead skin and product build-up that can irritate your scalp and clog your hair follicles and, succinic acid is also beneficial when it comes to reducing dandruff and helping to prevent hair loss. Most people tend to apply this as a serum.
5. Hyaluronic Acid
I’ve officially sung the praises of hyaluronic acid on this platform before. One example is via the article, “Why Your Skin, Hair, And Nails Need Hyaluronic Acid Like...Yesterday.” On the skin tip, hyaluronic acid is great because it deeply hydrates your skin, contains anti-aging properties and can even bring relief to vaginal (including vulvar) dryness.
Your hair will adore this particular acid because it aids moisture to it (including your hair follicles), will help to improve your hair’s texture and it also soothes scalp dryness, nurtures the cuticles of your tresses and decreases frizz. Using a serum rich in this acid as a pre-poo or as a leave-in conditioner is recommended.
6. Azelaic Acid
If you’ve never heard of azelaic acid before, this is your lucky day. It’s a dicarboxylic acid that, when it comes to skincare (and hair care) products, is usually synthetic. Anyway, if you are looking for a way to reduce inflammation, even skin tone after a breakout or if you want to use an exfoliant that will improve the texture of your skin overtime, you might want to give this acid a shot.
This one makes the list as far as your hair is concerned because, if achieving more inches is your current focus, azelaic acid might come in handy. That’s because it is able to strengthen your hair, thicken your strands and also stimulate hair growth from within your hair follicles.
7. Glutamic Acid
Glutamic acid is actually a type of amino acid. Skin-wise, it’s great for deeply hydrating your skin as well as protecting it from pollutants and damaging UV rays. Also, if you’re looking for an acid that treats skin dryness or “tightness,” this could be the answer to your prayers.
Since glutamic acid is also considered to be a humectant, it’s another acid that can moisturize your hair. As a result, it can decrease breakage while helping your hair to feel smooth and look shiny.
BONUS: Amino Acids
Speaking of amino acids and hair, please try to keep some amino acids in your diet at all times. The reason why is because, since your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin, to be exact), amino acids are pretty darn effective when it comes to helping you to maintain the overall health and well-being of your hair.
Ones to prioritize include proline (it boosts collagen so that your hair strands can maintain flexibility); arginine (it increases blood flow to your hair follicles so that they can receive the nutrients that they need); cysteine (it helps to keep your hair follicles healthy); alanine (it helps your system to produce more collagen), and isoleucine (it strengthens the tissues that help to make up your hair strands). All of these are available in supplement form or you can use Google to see which foods contain them.
___
Although it might initially seem odd to apply acid to your hair, as you can see, certain ones will work miracles for it. So, test them out to see which one tickles your fancy.
Hell, since they work for your skin as well — it’s a two-for-one deal that is worth every penny!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock