This article is in partnership with STARZ.
Lights, g-strings, and dolla, dolla bills y'all. From the moment the DJ announces Brandee Evans' character Mercedes taking the stage, prepare to be beguiled. Stripping is about more than the tease, instead it's a lesson in athletics as the women treat the pole like the instrument to their musician. As Mercedes' heel-clad feet plant themselves firmly on the ceiling and she defies gravity mid-twerk, it's clear to all who are lucky to be a witness that the way she and the other women leave it all on the stage is nothing short of art. It was my very first taste of STARZ's hit show P-Valley, and I quickly understood what the hype was about.
This year has been a lot but one thing's for certain, 2020 is the year of women empowerment. Women have been elevating to new levels in every space. We are reclaiming our time, our bodies, our sexuality, our standards of beauty, and the lens in which those narratives are told. We are no longer standing for the disrespect and erasure of our identities and we are assuming our rightful places in this world through equality. Not only are we advocating for ourselves, but we have found the power in numbers to garner support. Women are showing up for women in the best of ways while also demanding that Black women be protected. In current times, we have seen too many examples where women are characterized as objects in the storyline.
Now we are rewriting those stories to show our power balanced with our femininity. Whether it is music, politics, education, business, sex work, women are creating safe spaces for other women to rise.
In its premiere season on STARZ, P-Valley has masterfully taken the theme of women empowerment and displayed it in the most complex of places: the strip club. When you think of strip clubs, the focus of the business is generally concentrated around the men who frequent them. Typically in strip club culture, the male patrons' level of pleasure is centered in most storytelling of the industry. Acclaimed playwright Katori Hall brings her special sauce to P-Valley, showing that the intricate lives of the women are where the real story of strip club culture lies.
P-Valley is based on Hall's play Pussy Valley which is set in the Mississippi Delta. On a panel discussing the inspiration for the show, Hall talks about being from the south, visiting strip clubs, and admiring the women's skill and athleticism which made her feel empowered. Hall decided to take a pole dancing class a few years later, which is where she found her connection to strip club culture. This propelled Hall to research and speak to the women of the industry to find out what their experiences were like and create a brand new viewpoint.
"I wanted to create a story an actual story platform beyond the stage they grace… so people could understand," Hall says. "Their story deserves to be heard."
The organizing principle of episode 2 “Scars” is “fantasy.” It’s all about subverting the male gaze. Switching power roles. Fantasy Friday’s, what Uncle Clifford WANTS to go down in the Paradise Room. And then...there’s Andre 👀 #PValley pic.twitter.com/yxc4Bf96bM— Katori Hall (@KatoriHall) July 20, 2020
Hall wanted to tell this story with the female gaze centered and destigmatize the male gaze to the strip club. That is to say, the show is not all boobs and butts, but instead, it humanizes the women to show a complete portrait of who they are on- and off-stage. This is how Hall transports us down to the valley where the girls got all the drama.
So, let's catch you up! (Caution: Mild spoilers ahead!)
So far on P-Valley, we have been introduced to a complex cast of characters who, in various ways, have found or are new to the local strip club in the fictional Chucalissa, Mississippi. The Pynk is owned by one of the most dynamic characters on the show, Uncle Clifford (she/her), played by Nicco Annan. Uncle Clifford is a non-binary, gender-fluid character who has a strict policy of no-nonsense. She is the embodiment of both masculine and feminine energies that are on full display when she steps in the room. She literally is the glue that holds not only the club together but also the delicate lives of the women who headline every night. Whether you are a current employee of The Pynk or an alum, Uncle Clifford has in one way or another came through for you in the clutch. In the first few episodes, we learn that The Pynk is in serious debt as Uncle Clifford has not been so wise with her money.
One thing she has is a big heart and will do anything for her girls, even if that means falling into debt. The Pynk is not only special because of the talent that resides inside, but it is also prime real estate for a new casino that is coming to this small town with promises of money for the city and especially its Mayor, Tydell Ruffin (played by Isaiah Washington). There is a battle for the waterfront property that The Pynk sits on, bringing tensions out between some of the city's key players. With the possibility of a new casino moving into town closing The Pynk, a wrench is thrown into everyone's plans to level up. What's even more intriguing is the romantic relationship Uncle Clifford finds with one of the club's frequent visitors.
While Uncle Clifford is trying to hold on to her club, the ladies find themselves in troubles of their own. Mercedes, played by Brandee Evans, is the OG of The Pynk and knows the club and its patrons inside and out. She can spot a baller from a mile away just by looking at his watch and shoes. She is a money-maker and her skills on the pole are unmatched by most of the women in The Pynk. However, she is as smart as she is skilled, and has been stacking away her cash for years in the hopes to purchase a gym to train her teenaged dance team. Mercedes wants out of The Pynk and has a big motivation driving her to level up. However, an unlikely familial relationship threatens her possibility of achieving her dreams.
Hailey Colton, a.k.a Autumn Night (played by Elarica Johnson), comes into town on the heels of a disastrous hurricane that ripped everything from her life. Hailey is a newbie to stip club culture and is learning the inner workings of the club night by night. She is staying lowkey and trying her best to stay out of the way. Until she overhears a conversation with Andre (played by Parker Sawyers), the godson of the Mayor, and Corbin Kyle (played by Dan Johnson) about how The Pynk is right in the way of a major casino development deal and needs to be acquired. When she tells Uncle Clifford the tea, they form a plan for her to continue to get information to save The Pynk. This partnership is what helps Autumn to find friendship bonds inside of The Pynk, empowering her to take control of her life after the disaster. She begins to confront parts of her past while navigating The Pynk and finding herself again.
Keyshawn, played by Shannon Thornton, is a new mother struggling to find her identity while working at The Pynk. She is an amazing on-stage performer, but off-stage, her life is a wreck. She is constantly showing up late for work with her baby in tow and we soon find out that she is in a physically abusive relationship. With Mercedes leaving, Keyshawn has a chance to become the new headlining act at The Pynk which empowers her to become bolder in her life. However, her relationship still leaves its physical marks on her life and she struggles to maintain. Diamond, played by Tyler Lepley, the super handsome and quite mysterious bouncer at The Pynk, keeps a watchful eye over Keyshawn from a distance. Recently, Keyshawn learns of a secret relationship happening inside of The Pynk and makes an unlikely business partner.
It's the storytelling for me! This show is revolutionary in its handling of women's empowerment through the lens of a female-centric voice in the gentlemen's club. Each character is deep and textured in their own right. You get wrapped up in each of their lives and root for them to find their way. As the season comes to an end, the fate of The Pynk and its beautiful ladies is decided. Each one of their stories will culminate and decide what their legacies will be. It has been one helluva ride for the characters and The Pynk has been the real "ride or die'' hero.
One lesson learned at The Pynk is that legacy and your story matters.
In honor of P-Valley's weekly homage to female empowerment, we asked a few women what unapologetic female empowerment means to them. Here's what they had to say.
"It's a marathon, not a race."
"Unapologetic female empowerment is understanding that 'it's a marathon, not a race' and that applauding another Queen takes absolutely nothing from you. As women, we all have something unique within in us that no one can take away. We all deserve a seat at the table in our own right. Celebrating your sisters is liberating and it looks good on you. Unapologetic female empowerment brightens you up."
"I tap into a sisterhood that supports me and uplifts me daily. It is such an exhilarating feeling to be surrounded by a circle of women that continuously pour into my creativity and cheer me on. Those are the moments that I remember when I'm having tough times. The womanhood around me is solid and loving. I love collaborating on projects with my friends and being able to assist with bringing their visions to life. When I'm winning, they are winning and the level of support is literally a revolving door. I practice unapologetic female empowerment by highlighting and supporting black women-owned businesses. By sharing kind words and inspiration to sisters. I practice listening without inserting myself or personal experiences; giving a safe haven for my sisters to be heard with no interruptions.
"I feel most connected with myself and my body as a woman when I'm roller-skating and embracing my most authentic self. I love expressing myself artistically through movement and tapping into my sexuality. I love wearing lingerie and dancing with my homegirls. I feel most connected with my womanhood when I submerge myself in moments of love and I'm patient with my journey. Whenever I'm taking care of my skin, exercising, or shaving my head bald I feel like a free woman." - Sydney Blaylock, writer, slayer, skater
"Saying how you feel is divine feminine energy."
"Unapologetic female empowerment means holding your head up high and not feeling as if you need to shrink yourself to make others feel comfortable. Black women are so apologetic. Saying how you feel or handling business without leading with, 'I'm sorry but...' is divine feminine energy."
"I have a retreat company where I curate spaces for Black women to release, relax, and unwind. During one of our sessions on the trip I had women write out what they loved about another woman on the trip, then we exchanged the papers. We each stood up and read what was on the paper. No one knew who wrote the compliment or who it was for which allowed each woman to find her own self in each of the affirmations. I say my prayers out loud. When I started to pray out loud, I noticed how powerful my words became. Because I knew they were powerful, I was more cognizant of what my prayer was. I began to say what I was thankful for more. I said thank you more in general.
"In praying to God, I was also affirming myself. We are essentially made in the image of the Almighty. Would you talk to God any old way? Not at all. By speaking words of empowerment and creating affirmations of thanks and positivity, I was able to be vulnerable in myself, in my womanhood to appreciate all parts of this journey."
"After having a baby, my body changed dramatically. I had to accept curves in certain places they hadn't been before. I also had to intentionally work out to not let those curves get out of hand! Ultimately though, one day I looked at my body and told her thank you. This body had birthed my daughter. This body was capable. This was the body of a mother, a grown woman. If I could look at other women and find their beauty, I had to find the beauty in myself." - Shanicia Boswell, writer, speaker, founder
"Fixing a woman's crown without letting the world know it was crooked."
"To me, unapologetic female empowerment means fixing a woman's crown without letting the world know it was crooked. It means covering my sisters with love, grace, and gratitude even when they can't see it in themselves. It means standing up to a world that tells Black women they aren't enough and reminding that woman of the fact that she's forever a queen in my eyes."
"I feel uplifted every time I step in the room with my xoTribe. I felt this way on a spiritual level during my first GirlTrek encounter. I found myself crying many times in many rooms with many women who knew and understood my pain. It was f*cking phenomenal. I've struggled with anxiety and depression my entire life and I'm finally learning to be OK with the things I haven't mastered––cleaning a home and making it spotless is one of them. Although I've always felt embarrassed and guilty for not being the best housekeeper, hiring one reminded me that I don't have to be good at everything. Coming home to a clean and organized house for maybe the first time in my whole life made me feel like I could take over the world.
"Thankfully, my job gives me an opportunity to uplift and empower women every single day. Between interviewing dope women and creating a space for others to publish their work, I'm constantly on the lookout for ways to help women shine their light on the world. To feel connected with self, I do my makeup. I take nude pictures of myself and save them in my camera roll for my own personal admiration. I take a bath with Ashwagandha- and Eucalyptus-infused bath salts. I moisturize my body from head-to-toe with a sweet-smelling lotion that is for the enjoyment of nobody but my damn self. I call the people I love so that they can remind me of who I am and I reminisce on old pictures to remember where I came from." - Pretty Honore, Senior Editor
"Meeting women where they are as who they are."
"Unapologetic female empowerment means standing in solidarity with women whose intersectional identity might not look like yours. It's ensuring that we extend the same hopefulness and encouragement to women (non-binary and binary) regardless of their sexual orientation, career path, or gender pronouns. It's thinking we all deserve more than the patriarchal violence we face on a day-to-day basis."
"I have more recently manifested a lot of great relationships that are budding sisterhoods but the connection has yet to grow strong enough for it to tap into my sense of womanhood. I'm hopeful that many of them will though, I simply believe there is more inner work that is required on my end. I recently felt the opposite of empowered in dealing with men. There is one guy who minimally sexually harasses me every time we speak. Each time I simply I ignore him, and I feel as though I have failed for not speaking up for myself.
"However, in sifting through my feels and my discomfort around telling him his actions were inappropriate, I further understood (in a way that I think will allow me to genuinely hold them closer moving forward) how difficult it has been for every woman who has been sexually assaulted and asked, 'Why now?' when they come forward in their own time. It's because the patriarchy, at times, snuffs the empowerment out of us and replaces it with fear bound by paralysis. And I have come to find that pulling back those layers of patriarchy and unlearning the ways we've been taught to hate other women by questioning their choice, autonomy, and voice is empowering.
"If there is ever a moment where my thoughts or actions don't align with my mission, I stop and ask myself why that is. There are times when this tough love mentality that so many Black women inherit gets in the way of genuine empowerment! And overall, my day-to-day acts of empowerment is meeting women where they are as who they are, which I cannot do if my first instinct is to always criticize or withhold love because it was withheld from me."
"A lot of my connectedness to self comes from spending time with myself. Sometimes this looks like having engaging dialogues with myself, about myself and the room for growth. At other times it looks like me spending quality time with myself, may it be a movie date (obviously pre-covid) or sex. I've been single for quite some time, so I've learned not to be embarrassed by my desire to have certain needs met and as often as possible fulfilling them on my own. I slap my own ass, make passionate love to myself with the help of my Hitachi, and sometimes lazy love myself while preparing for a nap. In a nutshell, I feel most connected to myself when I'm listening to and honoring my needs." - Kiarra Sylvester, writer
Catch the season finale of P-Valley this Sunday night at 8PM ET/PT on STARZ and on the STARZ app.
Featured image via STARZ
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Jada Pinkett Smith is speaking her piece on the status of her marriage with longtime love Will Smith. On the heels of releasing her highly anticipated memoir, Worthy, Jada is gracing the cover of PEOPLE and sharing the truth about her mental health struggles throughout the years, the infamous Oscars slap, and her marriage.
According to the 52-year-old author, though she seemed to "have it all" in life - the riches, the fame, the love, the family, there was a part of her that couldn't escape her past traumas and depression that plagued her early on in her career. "While I was really living the dream, I hit a huge wall — a massive amount of depression. I think that I looked at having outside sources to supplement for the voids that I was feeling inside," she told PEOPLE.
By the time she turned 40, she had encountered her breaking point and spiraled so deeply that she saw no way out for herself aside from death. She went on to say that she heard voices in her head telling her to end her life and that told her of her unworthiness, pulling her deeper into her depression. "I started looking for places, cliffs where I could have an accident because I didn't want my kids to think that their mother had committed suicide.”
Jada credited friends of her son Jaden for putting her on to ayahuasca, a powerful and traditional plant-based brew used for shamanic and healing rituals known for its psychoactive properties. She said partaking in ayahuasca changed her profoundly and "the suicidal thoughts completely went away."
"Ayahuasca helped me, it gave me a new intimate relationship with myself that I had never had before," she told the outlet about her first time taking the psychedelic. Keep reading for more key takeaways from Jada's PEOPLE exclusive.
Jada Pinkett Smith on the status of her marriage to Will Smith:
In what might have been a shocking revelation to most, Jada revealed to the world that she and Will have actually been separated for the past six years, going on seven years. She explained the status of their 26-year marriage to PEOPLE:
“We’re still figuring it out. We’ve been doing some really heavy-duty work together. We just got deep love for each other and we are going to figure out what that looks like for us.”
Jada on how her relationship with Will Smith caused her to abandon her mental health:
As her star in Hollywood was rising thanks to starring roles in projects like A Different World, Jason's Lyric, and Set It Off, Jada revealed that she was taking Prozac and being treated for depression and suicidal ideation. Meeting Will would cause her to develop a false sense of not needing to take care of her mental health.
"Once I met Will, I completely abandoned my mental health. I was so intoxicated by him and our dynamic. I really felt like I'm cured," she said to PEOPLE. "He became the drug."
Albert L. Ortega/Getty Images
Jada Pinkett Smith on the self-acceptance her kids have taught her:
“They love every part of me. The level of love, unconditional love that they have for me and their dad. And it's one thing to want to be the person that gives that unconditional love. And then there's, to be the recipient of that.”
For the full cover story and photos, head over to PEOPLE here.
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Having a relationship where there is no sex refers to a romantic partnership where the romantic or intimate aspect of physical intimacy isn't happening. It's like when that spark or connection between partners in terms of sexual activity is absent. A relationship where there's no sex can happen for various reasons – maybe there's a lack of desire, communication issues, stress, health concerns, or even just a natural ebb and flow in the relationship.
Regardless, the level of physical intimacy and sexual activity between partners is significantly low or even nonexistent. However, it is important to note that every relationship is unique, and what might be considered a lack of sexual activity for one couple might work for another. The reality is, in the journey of any relationship, there are ebbs and flows, ups and downs, and moments of growth and change. For some couples, that might mean seasons where there is more sex and seasons where there is less sex.
'No Sex' in a Relationship Means What?
While it's common for couples to experience periods of reduced sexual activity, it's essential to approach this aspect with understanding, communication, and an open heart.
Navigating a Sexless Relationship
It's important to recognize that a decrease in sexual activity doesn't necessarily indicate a lack of love or attraction between partners. Life's challenges, stressors, and changes can all play a role in affecting one's desire and ability to engage in physical intimacy. Health concerns, work pressures, family issues, and personal insecurities can all contribute to shifts in this area.
Communication is Key
Just like any other aspect of a relationship, communication is paramount when it comes to addressing changes in sexual activity. An open and non-judgmental conversation is crucial for understanding each other's perspectives and feelings. Creating a safe space where both partners can express their desires, concerns, and emotions is essential for building trust and finding solutions together.
Exploring the Why
Delving into the reasons behind the decrease in sex can lead to a better understanding of the situation. For instance, is stress playing a significant role? Are there unresolved emotional issues that need attention? By identifying the underlying factors contributing to your lack of desire, you can work together to address them and find ways to reconnect.
While the physical aspect of intimacy might be diminished, there are numerous other ways to connect on another level that isn't rooted in sex. Emotional intimacy, for example, involves sharing thoughts, goals, dreams, and fears with your partner. Engaging in activities you both enjoy can create opportunities for bonding and rekindling the spark. For inspiration, check out articles from our site, "Alphabet Dating Is The Trend You Need For A Thriving Love Life" and "15 Date Ideas Based On Your Love Language."
Supporting Each Other
During periods where there's little to no sex happening in the relationship, it's crucial to provide emotional support to your partner. Understanding their feelings, validating their concerns, and offering reassurance can go a long way in maintaining a strong emotional connection despite the less-than-stellar physical connection faltering. Remember, intimacy isn't solely about the physical; it's about feeling close and understood. Use this time to show support, as this could be a source of stress and contention for both of you.
Seeking Professional Help
If the lack of sex is causing significant strain on the relationship and attempts to address it on your own aren't yielding positive change, seeking the guidance of a sex therapist or counselor might be beneficial. Professional help can provide tools and insights to navigate these challenges effectively.
Ultimately, relationships are an ever-evolving journey that requires adaptability and understanding. Seeing a dip in the frequency of sex doesn't define the entirety of a relationship but rather presents an opportunity for growth, communication, and finding new ways to connect on a deeper level.
By fostering emotional intimacy, engaging in open dialogue, and seeking solutions together, couples can navigate this "dry" phase with love and empathy, ultimately strengthening the bond they share. Instead of resisting, consider learning how to embrace this chapter of your relationship with patience, kindness, and a willingness to explore new avenues of connection.
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