Charlamagne Tha God On How He Balances Being A Husband, Father And Executive Producer
Charlamagne Tha God has never been one to be politically correct. As one third of the popular morning show,“The Breakfast Club," the radio personality doesn't hesitate to ask any and everything that’s on his mind, which has admittedly gotten him into some trouble over the years. But despite having made more enemies than friends, he’s always honest and true to his brand--and it's definitely paid off. Off the strength of his name alone he's snagged roles in television (Empire) and film (Ride Along), not to mention a shout out from Drake in the Grammy nominated diss record "Back to Back."
But what most people don’t know is that off the mic, Charlamagne is a family man. The South Carolina native is a husband and father of two little girls, and he’s adamant about keeping his personal life off social media.
Before the 35-year-old graced the airwaves--hosting the “Brilliant Idiots” podcast in the afternoons and the MTV series, Uncommon Sense at night--he was running the streets, landing him a few jail stints before an internship at a radio station showed him that he could make a career using his mouthpiece. So he cleaned up his act, took the necessary steps to change his life, and began to make a name for himself as a tell-it-like-it-is radio host.
But the road to redemption wasn't easy. In the process of becoming who he is today, he had to be humbled. Four times, to be exact. Being fired from various radio positions allowed him to see the bigger picture in what seemed like constant setbacks. After his initial layoff he asked himself, “Was I doing everything that I was supposed to do?” He admits to initially “abusing” the fame and celebrity of being a radio personality, but has since decided to only use his platform to empower others.
xoNecolehad a chance to speak exclusively to Charlamagneabout his new book "Black Privelage", a new series that he’s executive producing and the importance of showing his daughters what love is by marrying his high school sweetheart. And let's just say that we’ve definitely discovered a different side of the radio personality, off the air.
You are currently juggling a demanding career with fatherhood. What will you tell your daughters (who are seven and four-months-old) about love, relationships, and knowing their worth?
You have to show your kids love. That’s one of the reasons why I wanted to get married. Me and the mother of my kids have been together since high school. When you have your seven-year-old daughter asking why you and mommy don’t have the same last name, that affects you as a man. It made me think, ‘Well, why don’t we? What’s stopping me from taking that next step?’
Love is something you have to witness. It’s good to see two parents living in the house, embracing each other, laughing and talking; you have to lead by example.
I spoil my daughter, not only is she growing up in a loving household, I spoil her so no man is going to be able to provide for her because she’s got me.
She also understands the value of a dollar, and how hard her parents work to provide the life she has. At seven-years-old, she’s sassy. She already has plans and goals and things that she wants to accomplish, and I’m not going to let anyone take that from her. I’m going to let her be a strong as she wants; I’m not going to let her be submissive to anyone. You have to really empower your children and teach them that they’re bosses, kings, queens and goddesses.
On set of MTV's "Uncommon Sense."
I’ve always said having two girls is “The Player's Curse.” Whenever you’ve broken a lot of hearts in your life or you’ve treated women a certain way, God will give you women to raise. Everyone says it’s a blessing, I believe that, but I also believe it’s a little bit of karma because it makes me think about how I deal with women. The way I treat any woman is how I would want someone to treat my daughters. I already know someone is gonna read this and say, “look what you did to Lil Mama” (referring to the infamous July 2011 interview on The Breakfast Club where he made the rapper and actress cry). First of all that was five years ago, and my daughters will be well equipped to snap back at jokes better than Lil Mama.
How are you able to keep your personal life with your wife and kids separate from your public persona?
First of all, I’m not raising my kids via social media. I never felt like that was a place for my family to be. I don’t knock anyone who does it, but I don’t want my family on Facebook or Twitter. That’s something I chose not to do. Some of my homies have told me that they wish they would have listened to me and not put their kids on social media because now when they’re out in the streets, strangers recognize their kids. We live in a creepy world where people want to take photos with celebrities family members and that doesn’t make sense to me. I see girls taking pics with Drake’s father and that’s just weird to me.
You have been fired four times but you never gave up. What have you learned from those times you were let go, and how did it help you to grow personally and professionally?
On the set of hit show "Empire."
When I think about getting fired in radio, it never phased me because the extremes I come from before radio were much more harsh. [Over the holidays] I was literally back at home sitting on my mom’s porch looking back on the times where the police came here and arrested me. There was a time the police had my father and I sitting in the same cell for a weekend because they had this crazy idea that we were some kind of drug kingpins, which was so far from the truth. Those experiences were harsh, so in order to bounce back from that, I had to change my lifestyle. I moved myself out the hood and went back to night school and got my diploma. I said I wasn’t going to sell drugs anymore and I wasn’t going to hang out with the same crew. I worked at Taco Bell, in the mall and I work in telemarketing; if I could bounce back from all of those situations, getting fired was light. Every time I got laid off, God humbled me, showed me the responsibility that comes with having the power of the microphone. Once I learned that, the sky was the limit. Everything else was a learning experience. In life I feel you either win or you learn. When I think about all of the times I’ve been fired, I wouldn’t change anything.
You have several radio and TV projects in production. You seem to be in your prime right now, so do you take every opportunity that’s presented to you? How do you make sure you’re not burning yourself out?
[Tweet "I never do things for money. Everything I do is because I love it. I do things for purpose."]
I never do things for money. Everything I do is because I love it. I do things for purpose. When it comes to the Brilliant Idiots podcast, it’s a way for me to express myself more and go into detail about things that I’m feeling. I started doing it because I like creating content with my friend, Andrew Schulz, now we’re selling out shows in London doing the podcast live.
Radio is my love and my passion. I wake up everyday enjoying it and we’ve [The Breakfast Club] had tremendous success. iHeart Radio recently signed me to another five-year contract, that’s effortless.
As far as Uncommon Sense on MTV, I’ve always wanted to do a late night talk show. I used to watch Arsenio, Chris Rock, Bill Maher and Chelsea Handler, it was something I always wanted to do. I’m doing it because I love to do it and it’s an opportunity for me to give other voices a chance to be heard. It’s always meaning over money. I’m never doing things for a check.
I can’t burn myself out because everything that I’m doing is being fueled by love and that isn’t a resource that can get burned out.
I came from South Carolina to New York and worked for Wendy Williams for free for a year. Wendy and her husband told me they couldn’t pay me, but they gave me a place to stay. You tell me how many kids nowadays would recognize opportunity if there wasn’t a paycheck attached to it. I recognized the opportunity to do something I loved to do on a large scale and I took it.
On air with Patti LaBelle for "The Breakfast Club."
In the age of social media, people don’t necessarily have to have any talents or viable skills to land their own TV or radio show. What is your talent and how were you able to discern that this was your purpose?
Growing up I was always a radio junkie. As a kid I would turn on the local radio station’s “Top 9 at 9” I always knew who all of the radio jocks were and I would take my cassette tapes and record different songs on the radio. Initially, I wanted to rap because that’s every guy in the hood’s dream. You have to understand that a young black man just wants to be successful and when we see other people that look like us that are well off, they’re usually in entertainment or playing sports so I wanted to do that.
I have a tattoo of Wolverine holding a microphone on my arm because I thought I was going to be a rapper, but I didn’t realize that mic symbolized my radio career. I didn’t have any formal training, but I wasn’t doing what everyone else did cause. I used to sit back and wonder why radio personalities weren’t asking the most obvious questions or really giving their opinions on the music or the artists. I always wondered why they didn’t sound human. So if you ask me what my talent is, I would say the gift of gab. But I hate that people think this is so easy. I’ll go online and I’ll see someone say that such and such is “the next C. The God” and automatically I assume that they do radio, but I check them out and they’re just tweeting! That’s just words! Get on the mic and let's see if you can speak well enough to make people gravitate towards you. Keeping someone entertained for four hours is difficult. Wendy Williams has a gift--she can literally turn the mic on and talk for four hours straight, she doesn’t need a co-host or anyone else in the room; she can just find things to talk about and that’s hard to do, I’m still perfecting that. We’ve brought interns in the room on The Breakfast Club and we’ve had them read Angela Yee’s “Rumor Report,” and they sound terrible! Then they realize how hard it is to convey their thoughts to millions of people.
I have heard a few people say they don't know a successful person who doesn't read. As an avid reader, what books have impacted you the most?
I tell everyone go get as much education on Toltec wisdom. Don Miguel Ruiz has written a series of books: The Four Agreements, Voice of Knowledge, Mastery of Love, and The 5th Agreement, they even come in a boxed set. Those books have had so much impact on my life and have reinforced a lot of things I already knew.
Also, Robert Green’s, 48 Laws of Power, The 33 Strategies of War and Mastery. Sometimes books just reinforce how we’re already living and it just gives us the language for it. The Law of Attraction is something that I’ve always believed in. I’ve always believed that if I thought about something it would happen so I read something like The Secret by Rhonda Byrne or The Answer by John Assaraf, it just gave me a reference point to explain my thought process. All of those books shaped my mind into the way I think and move right now.
[Tweet ""A lot times people have dreams and aspirations, but they aren’t putting in the work." @cthagod"]
Since you’re in a coveted position to provide people with opportunities, how do you decipher who’s ready to be “put on?” What do you tell people who feel like they’re always overlooked for opportunities and no one wants to give them a foot into the door?
I believe the universe helps those who help themselves. Even the Bible says “faith without works is dead.”A lot times people have dreams and aspirations, but they aren’t putting in the work and create the opportunity to be seen. If you’re dope, I should hear about it and not just from you. If you’re really putting in the work and putting your feet to the ground the way you need to be, other people will speak for you and you will get noticed. When people see you building your own fan base then they do your research and they’re like “this guy or this girl; there’s actually something there,” of course they’re going to assist you and lend out a helping hand.
When I was doing radio in Columbia I started perfecting my craft, going to different websites All Hip-Hop or SOHH sending my interviews to them back in 2004; I started to get noticed and that’s when someone helped me because they saw me helping myself, and that person was Wendy Williams. She gave me an opportunity to sink or swim. That’s the other thing about opportunity people don’t realize, I can give you the opportunity, but that doesn’t mean that you’re going to prosper, all it means is that you get a chance and Wendy gave me a chance to prove myself and I think I did pretty okay.
What are you working on in the New Year?
I’m transitioning into executive producing shows because I know a lot of people that are talented and come to me with great ideas and I just happen to be in a position to make some of these ideas come to fruition. I’m the EP of two shows that have already been picked up. We just shot the pilot for one of the series with Rick Ross and Va$htie. I’m also doing another show with rapper Noreaga. He’s a foodie so we’re going to make him the black Anthony Bourdain and let him go to all these different places and eat.
[Tweet "I believe when you’re placed in positions of power it's so you can empower others. -@cthagod"]
I’m working and putting myself in a position to help others do the things that they want to do. My book is out now. I’m always working! I see Steve Harvey, Ryan Seacrest and Wendy Williams and I’m going to be that for my generation. In doing that, the biggest thing that I want to do is empower other people.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Between the rise of the creator economy and the gig economy, the window of opportunity to leverage your creativity for long-term gain has never been more potent.
For the last four years, I’ve worked as a full-time freelance writer and content creator. A year into this journey, I knew that if I wanted to create a sense of structure around my life outside of a traditional 9-5, I would have to create it.
To my surprise, that came in the form of social media.
Now, you might be wondering how someone might be able to juggle their work in a creatively-dominant career like writing while still having the mental capacity to produce ideas for their own personal brand, and well, that answer didn’t come easily.
In 2021, I hit a wall with writing and content creation.
With the stress and uncertainty that came as a result of the pandemic, to being burned out from having to live off my creativity, I reached a breaking point. For me, writing was always a space to explore my thoughts, process heavy topics, and express concepts that only words could bring reason to. However, when I didn’t have the brainpower to write or create content, I knew it was time to set parameters around my hobby of content creation and my passion for storytelling.
In this case, the biggest challenge was finding the balance between the two by releasing the guilt and shame of taking a break from both in order to reconnect with them.
Through years of trial and error, the fog finally cleared, and I was able to hit my stride in 2023. From garnering over 10K followers on TikTok, building an Instagram community around lifestyle and creative encouragement, along with my wellness collective, Black Girl Playground, and writing for xoNecole as a lifestyle contributor, the creative juices have been flowing steadily.
And it all happened by creating a strategy that allowed space for planning, resting, and creating. Today, I’ll be sharing my top tips to help you find your balance between your side hustle and passions.
On staying inspired and motivated when working on various content creation and freelancing projects:
Early this year, I came to the bright conclusion that I needed to shorten the gap between ideation and execution — and it completely changed how I create.
Oftentimes, when we have an idea come to us, we let it sit for too long, and then before we know it, we’ve either lost the enthusiasm to put it into action, or someone else grabs it. If you want to stay in a flow of creativity, whether side projects or full-time work, it’s important to not get slowed down by self-doubt, procrastination, or perfectionism.
Give yourself permission to act on your ideas as they come to you. Even if they’re a little muddy or not “perfect,” you can always fine-tune them later.
@yagirlaley shrinking the gap between [ideation] + [execution] 🧠💡#fyp #creativeadvice
On the importance of choosing a niche:
If there’s one thing that has helped me balance my work as a writer and content creator, it’s putting each in its own niche (or category). By definition, a niche is a specialized segment of the market or a specific area of expertise.
When you are creating in the same niche that you’re also making a living in, that’s an easy way to get your wires crossed. And at times, this could lead to feeling as if you don’t have any ideas for yourself because you’ve given them to the other area you're juggling.
When balancing two, you want to have enough fresh ideas to give to your personal projects and your full-time work to avoid any overlap. This ensures that your personal creative vision isn’t compromised when working on client projects while still having some for yourself.
On the strategies that have helped to maintain a consistent workflow in both areas:
I can’t stress enough how important it is to create a workflow and structure for yourself as a freelancer — this applies to those with a 9-5 in the day and a 5-9 at night, too.
As someone who admittedly has ADHD tendencies, object permanence can sometimes create a block in time and project management. That’s why I encourage creatives and professionals to create systems that allow you to see the work that’s ahead of you.
Personally, I can’t live without having multiple calendars going at once. My Google calendar keeps track of interviews for articles and events, while my physical calendar helps me keep track of important dates. I also work out of an Excel sheet where I can log in ongoing stories and track their status from drafting to submission. I’ve also heard great things about the Notion app for planning and tracking.
When it comes to creating content, spending time doing bulk content days has been an asset to my creative workflow. When I complete the videos, I save them to my drafts and upload them as needed.
Credit: Amberita
Courtesy of the writer
On the best advice for someone who is considering pursuing both content creation and freelancing simultaneously:
Don’t be ashamed of taking a break and resting — because both are essential to the life of a creative. Last month, I returned to Instagram after taking 6 months off from posting. During that time, I worked on growing my TikTok page, using the platform to practice vulnerability and allowing myself to put the fun back into creating content. Without the time, I can’t say I’d be able to approach Instagram with the same ease and playfulness; but thanks to that time away, it was possible.
Resting, letting our minds wander, or simply doing nothing are all just as productive as creating. No one can produce at all times, we have to allow ourselves the space for new concepts and ideas to flow to us. In addition to that, when we take breaks from social media, it allows us to stop the wheel of comparison and consume more than we create. So if you feel like you’re in a creative rut with all you want to balance, it may be time to take a step back, unapologetically.
Your creativity will thank you for it.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Sir Taylor