As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative as told to a writer.
This is Amanda Hampton's story, as told to Charmin Michelle.
My husband doesn't complete me.
Don't get me wrong—he is everything to me, I truly couldn't see myself without him. But life will never be a fairy tale.
I hate this misconception, and even expectation, of marriage. I've been to several weddings, and heard and listened to numerous vows where the overarching theme is always the bride and groom gushing that the other "completes" them. And that they plan to live happily ever after.
I cringe every time.
I've always had this notion, sure. But being on the other side now as a new wife, I know that girl…I was that girl.
These are my confessions of a nontraditionalnewlywed.
Getting Married Is Not An Accomplishment
Before my husband and I met each other, we were two, whole, single people. We met in college in 2005 and kept an eye on something blossoming into more than friends. We were young, wild, and free—simply enjoying growing up together. We eventually went our separate ways for years, and rekindled only three years ago (2017). Both of us desired to be married, but we never saw ourselves as unequal or half a person. We wed in January of 2020 and he has been my sanctuary from this crazy world since.
He shows up for me everyday, gives me love, support, and wisdom, and I do the same for him.
He pours into me and I pour into him. It's nothing special, that's what teammates do for each other. Our marriage adds to the motivation to be our best selves, but we both understand that marriage will never complete us. I, alone, solo dolo, am responsible for my wholeness. And yet ironically, I don't desire to be complete. Completion signifies an ending.
Marriage Is Not An SOS Button
The belief that it's some magical button that checks off everything on your warped societal "say-so list", is absurd. You have to put forth work in a marriage just like anything else you would want to be successful. Marriage is a beautiful thing, yes. But I truly believe that we simply cannot let it be our largest goal in life.
As women, we need to get real about this attitude that getting married is some sort of power move over single women. Again, marriage is not an accomplishment. Your matrimony did not make you some "all-knowing" being that can discredit or put down other women because you're married. Every woman has a different path to walk and her choices and struggles therein are not yours to judge.
Marriage takes a lot of work. But staying happily married is the true achievement.
My advice: enjoy the ride. I've learned in this short time that marriage is actually a beautiful union of two individuals and can spark intense personal growth and emotional development. But it's just a stop, not the destination.
Married Me Will Still Be A Boss
Finding Amanda and my role in my marriage is important, and always has been. This comes from wanting to give my household love and attention. But I am also working to find my professional purpose and maximize on it.
Married me is just as ambitious and fearless as single me, so no, I don't aspire to be just a wife.
I want it all—love, family success, happiness, health. Hell, dogs haha. Being a fierce, goal-oriented woman does not have to die when you say 'I do'. Can we throw away these outdated societal ideals? Let's stop telling women to put everything on hold or on the back burner once they get married or have a child.
Go raise the children and cater to your man.
Cook for your family every night and clean your house everyday.
You've been married for awhile, you should have more children.
Don't you want to be a stay-at-home mom and work for your family?
Nah.
Don't get me wrong, I don't mind doing or being any of these for my husband. But this wife's got goals! We live in a glorious time where women (especially black women) are the fastest growing demographic of entrepreneurs and graduates of in the country. So, we are allowed to have a career and happy home life.
Stop thinking you have to choose. You can have it all.
Marriage and motherhood are beautiful experiences and are to be celebrated, but never let it hinder the potential. Of course, there's nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home mother or wife. But if you have a sister, daughter, niece or friend who's only objective is to be married, maybe try encouraging them to start a business, get a degree, travel or take a job in another state and really find themselves before getting married. Then at least they know the options available to them. Times are changing and pivoting away from the idea that women should sacrifice their career for home life.
Sis, accept that position in another state and uproot just like men are afforded to do. Fight for that promotion without worrying if it would take too many hours out of your day. Accept that higher paying job that may make you the breadwinner. If these are career goals for yourself, wholeheartedly go for them. And not with the fear that you would somehow discredit or disrespect your spouse. Marriage and motherhood are to be celebrated but never let it hinder the excellence within.Your partner is a teammate. And sometimes you may have to lean on them, other times you may have to support them. But Married Amanda is just as fearless as Single Amanda. So, there's no plans for me slowing down anytime soon.
We must also be careful in how we go about presenting our journeys. Women, mothers, and wives: we must stop judging or lifting a nose to discredit a woman that has chosen a different path than us. The choices or struggles of another woman are none of our business.
Ladies, what I'm trying to say, is marriage is a beautiful thing. Children are a blessing. Being in a position to be a source of comfort to my husband is something I will always be. My husband is definitely my soulmate and I want to spend the rest of my days growing together. For always, I will be an amazing wife.
And I will also be a mother, soulmate, teammate, queen, boss, AND me, too.
To keep up and learn more about Amanda's approach to marriage, career balance, and maintaining it all, you may find her on Instagram at @_amanda_AF.
Featured image courtesy of Amanda Hampton
Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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After Decades-Long Career, Terri J. Vaughn Is Finally The Main Character: Exclusive
Terri J. Vaughn first captured our attention in the late ‘90s as Lovita Alizay Jenkins on The Steve Harvey Show. Decades later, she is starring in her very own series, She The People, which is now available to stream on Netflix.
The political sitcom, which she co-created with Niya Palmer and later teamed up with Tyler Perry Studios, is about a Black woman named Antoinette Dunkerson who runs for lieutenant governor of Mississippi. She wins and becomes the state’s first Black lieutenant governor. Now, she’s forced to balance working with a racist and sexist governor while also trying to keep her family from running amok.
According to the beloved actress, this project was a long time coming. “I’ve been trying to get my own television series for like 20 years, pounding the pavement, meeting with people, getting clothes, being lied to, just a whole bunch of stuff,” she says in an exclusive interview with xoNecole.
“But just keep going, because this is what I do. This is what I love, and I know how important it is for us to continue to show up and make sure that we are seen, make sure that our voices are heard. For several reasons. I just never give up. So here I am, 20 years later, finally sold my show.”
She The People is inspired by the true story of London Breed, who became the first Black female mayor of San Francisco, Terri’s hometown. And to help make the show more authentic, the Cherish the Day actress tapped former Atlanta mayor, Keisha Lance Bottoms to come on as a producer.'“I’ve been trying to get my own television series for like 20 years, pounding the pavement, meeting with people, getting clothes, being lied to, just a whole bunch of stuff."
After bringing the former mayor aboard, it was time to pitch again. And this time, the companies were pitching them. Ultimately, Terri decided to work with Tyler Perry on the series.
“We decided to do it with Tyler for several reasons. I love that. Well, most of the companies we met with were Black-owned companies, but he was the only studio,” she explains. “Tyler is like Walt Disney. That's literally what he is. He has the studio, he has the content. He operates just like Walt Disney.”
And thanks to the cast, the show is nothing short of laughs. The series also stars social media creator Jade Novah as Antoinette’s crazy cousin/ assistant, Shamika, Family Mattersstar Jo Marie Payton as Anotinette’s mom, Cleo, and Terri’s husband, Karon Riley, who plays Michael, her driver and love interest.
While we’ve watched Terri’s career blossom in various ways. From directing to producing, and playing diverse characters, the mom of two says her The Steve Harvey Show character will always be her favorite.
“Well, Lovita was definitely my favorite, especially for my time, the age and everything that I was. Now as a grown ass woman over 50, Antoinette Dunkerson is everything that I've wanted to play. She's everything. She's a mother of two teenagers. She's divorced, so she's co-parenting with her ex-husband. She has to wrangle in a very eclectic family,” she says.
“So I like playing characters that are really flawed and trying to figure it out and doing their best to try to figure it. And she's very flawed and she is trying to figure it out, and she fucks up sometimes. But her heart and what she's trying to do and what her vision is and purpose, it's all for the people. I mean, she the people. She’s for the people, she is the people.”
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Feature image by Jamie Lamor Thompson/ Shutterstock