Michelle Young Is Set To Become One Of ABC's Next Bachelorettes And We Are Here For It
The Bachelor has aired its finale and we are shooketh, y'all!
Matt James, the first black "Bachelor" of the series, has officially selected Rachael Kirkconnell, leaving Michelle Young at the altar wondering what's next. And although the history-making James may have selected the lone racist girl on the show (allegedly), her disappointment didn't last long. Because our girl Michelle Young is slated to become one of the future bachelorettes, ABC officially announced.
If you're lost about what happened on 'The Bachelor' season finale, here's a brief rundown:
Matt narrowed his choices down to the final two ladies who could win his heart. Eventually, he selected Kirkconnell, who he didn't propose to, but instead said he didn't want to live without, thus making her his selected gal. This all took place prior to the surfacing controversy that surrounded her previous questionable behavior, which includes posing at a college plantation-themed party (yes, you read that right) and liking numerous pics of the confederate flag (a flag that historically has white supremecist undertones).
On the finale after show, a beard-ganged Matt told Kirkconnell he could no longer be with her due to her problematic past, and they broke up. Womp womp.
Soon after, it was announced that Michelle would be an upcoming 'Bachelorette', which we stannnnn because we loved her!
Michelle is a teacher and former basketball star from Minnesota, who is lowkey and beautiful inside and out. She is passionate about giving back to the community—and she's looking for a beau who feels the same way. Of Michelle, her ABC bio reads,
"Michelle has big dreams for the future and says she wants a man by her side that is supportive and driven to make the world a better place. She is looking for the superman to her superwoman and says that, together, she hopes that she and Matt can fall in love and change the world."
She may be new to social media and the fame that comes along with the show, but she isn't fazed. She truly is looking for love with her perfect guy. She writes on Instagram:
"And that's a wrap! My family and I have appreciated the overwhelming support that has been shown throughout the season. Thank you for accepting us with open arms. Time to relax, recharge, and trade in these gowns for sweatpants...! At least for a little while anyway [wink emoji]"
Young was a college athlete (like James, who played football for Wake Forest University) before starting her career as a teacher. She played Division 1 basketball at Bradley University. Currently, she works as an elementary school teacher and according to her ABC bio, the Bachelor contestant "focuses on preparing her students to be the next generation of community leaders." She even had her students video-call James on The Bachelor to grill him about his intentions, which is the absolute cutest.
During the "After the Final Rose" special, it was revealed that both Young, and Katie Thurston, a 30-year-old bank marketing manager from Washington state, will be looking for love on separate seasons of the dating competition show. Thurston's Season 17 of the show is set to air on ABC this summer while Young's Season 18 will air this fall.
We can't wait to watch her season, and see where this journey leads her! Congrats, Michelle!
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Featured image via Michelle Young/Instagram
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Charmin Michelle is a southern native and creative spirit who works as a content marketer and events manager in Chicago. She enjoys traveling, #SummertimeChi, and the journey of mastering womanhood. Connect with her on Instagram @charminmichelle.
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From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
Featured image by skynesher/Getty Images
