It's no secret that money is the most popular reason couples split, but what is it about money that causes such a major rift that we're willing to say goodbye to someone we thought we would be with for life? Why isn't it infidelity or even religion a reason?
It's just something about money and the motives behind it that are enough to cause this huge divide more than anything else. It's a powerful thing, that dollar bill, and most of us just want to be able to have control over the money we've worked so hard to earn. So when it looks like someone is infringing on that, there's an issue.
From being raised differently to keeping secrets, money alone isn't the reason people are going their separate ways. It's clearly deeper than that. Read on to learn more about how money comes between an otherwise thriving relationship.
You Were Brought Up Differently
Thankfully, I can say that my husband and I were raised the same way concerning money, and any lack thereof. So we're definitely on the same page when it comes to how important it is to save and spend money in ways that we see as smart. Still, whether you were raised learning about money or it was a topic that was never discussed in your home, there's still a reason you see money the way that you do; much of it has to do with the household you grew up in.
Whether you're the girl who came up from poverty and made a promise to yourself to never look back, or you were raised never having to worry about money and want to keep that lifestyle, one way isn't better than the other. But if your partner was brought up differently, it only makes sense for there to be some friction there.
You Have Different Views Of Money
Our upbringing has an influence on how we view money, but having different perspectives about it is only asking for there to be some serious issues. I was literally just talking to my friend this week who is all about saving, planning, budgeting, and all that responsible jazz. Her boyfriend on the other hand has the motto YOLO when it comes to finances. Because of their differences, among other things, she doesn't feel comfortable doing anything serious with him when it comes to money and wants to keep it all separate for as long as possible. Again, one way isn't necessarily right or wrong, and balance is the major key. Having different opinions about money and refusing to budge will create inevitable problems that you might not be able to bounce back from.
You Keep Secrets About It
This one is kind of hazy because at what point does your financial status become anyone else's business? Of course, you want to make sure someone has the same financial values as you do before things get serious, but when do you actually have this conversation? I think most of us have different perceptions on this one. And then there's the whole question of, what if that person isn't completely honest? This can include lying about everything from their credit score to how much they make, or even downplaying a serious financial problem that's bound to be exposed at any given moment.
Having a secret account for "a rainy day" is nothing out of the ordinary, and I don't even think it's wrong. But this issue goes further than just lying about money. Like most of the points in this article, the question is why? Why lie, or keep it a secret? My thought would be that trust is a major issue, which goes way deeper than the dollar bill.
You Make More
Look, despite the current political and racial climate in this country, we don't live in the 1950s anymore. Still, there are plenty of men (and women) out there who have an issue if their partner makes more than they do. Clearly I'm not a man, but what I do know is that for some, it can trigger their insecurity and cause them to question their status as a provider in the home. So while the issue on the surface is going against tradition, the real problem could be how he feels as a man. If you find yourself constantly battling with your guy over money because you make more, maybe try to find other ways to show him he's still man enough for you.
You Want To Adopt The Control Factor
One of the first things I had to learn when I got married was that when it comes to money, we're a team. I had my own way of doing things and so did he, but ultimately, we had to somehow compromise if we were going to work it out. I'm not against having separate accounts and ish, but that just wasn't the track we wanted to take.
This was really difficult for me because I can be really controlling over money. I have that "It's my money and I want it now!" mindset from those J.G. Wentworth commercials, but we eventually came to the compromise that I had just as much control over our money as he did. It was really hard for me to let go because I felt like he was kind of irresponsible, but in reality, it was just different and not as frugal.
Even though it's still tempting to take the reins because I think I know what's best, seeing our finances as a joint venture is what has helped us to not disagree on money. There are plenty of other things to argue about.
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Here are some of my favorite takeaways from three standout panels featuring Jordan Chiles, Marsai Martin, and Kandi Burruss.
Leveling Up Your A-Game with Jordan Chiles, Morgan Shaw Parker, Chelsea Fishman, Laura Correnti, and Tabitha Turner-Wilkins
Jordan Chiles
Paras Griffin/ Getty Images for Power Play
Olympic gymnast Jordan may have medals and magazine covers to her name, but her mindset is refreshingly grounded. “The day I finally feel pressure,” she said, “will be the day I know there’s still more for me to learn.” For her, joy—not pressure—is the fuel. Her confidence isn’t performative; it’s rooted in family, self-worth, and authenticity.
“Everything I’ve done in my career—tattoos, long nails, rocking my crew at the Olympics—that’s all me. It’s not because someone told me to do it. It’s because I felt confident doing it. And that’s where my ambition comes from: being my authentic self.”
For Morgan Shaw Parker, President & COO of the Atlanta Dream, the conversation around pressure went even deeper. “Legacy work” is how she described her mission—navigating male-dominated spaces, sometimes pregnant and pumping on NFL team planes. “After COVID and George Floyd,” she shared, “it became clear to me: vulnerability is power. You don’t have to show up perfect to lead.”
Chelsea Fishman, founder of Atlanta's first bar dedicated to women’s sports, Jolene Jolene, shared how the haters (especially the Reddit kind) were her confirmation: “All those comments saying it would fail—those were the signs that I was doing something right.” She’s hosted 25+ watch parties already and is building the very community they said would never come.
This panel also touched on ambition, authenticity, and owning your power—both in sneakers and in suits. One of the best mic-drop moments came when the moderator flipped the question: “What if we stopped making ‘power’ a bad word for women?” A nod-worthy reminder that we’re not here to play small.
Making Your Voice Heard with Marsai Martin, Carol Martin, Miss Milan, and Heather McMahan
Marsai Martin
Paras Griffin/ Getty Images for Power Play
This panel was a masterclass in staying grounded while growing up—or glamming up—on the global stage. Actress and producer Marsai talked about what it’s like to show up in high-pressure moments when your confidence is low but the world is still watching. From red carpets to long shoot days, she reminded us that even when you’re not at 100%, you still find a way to push through.
“There have been days where I wasn’t feeling the best, but I still had to show up on this carpet. Or it was that time of the month, but I still had to go on set. I just didn’t feel as confident—but it’s about how you take care of yourself in those moments and still keep pushing.”
Her mom and business partner Carol Martin dropped gems about motherhood and mentorship: “It’s like teaching your kid to ride a bike over and over again. Now the bike is a movie or a brand.” That balance between guiding and letting go? Not easy—but essential when you’re raising a mogul and running a company.
“There have been days where I wasn’t feeling the best, but I still had to show up on this carpet. Or it was that time of the month, but I still had to go on set. I just didn’t feel as confident—but it’s about how you take care of yourself in those moments and still keep pushing.”
Miss Milan, Grammy Award-winning DJ and Doechii’s right-hand woman, lit the crowd up with her no-nonsense energy. “I built my own table,” she said. “When you build it, they can’t tell you you can’t sit.” From journaling her dreams to manifesting Grammys, her story is one of resilience and intention—and a whole lot of faith in her own vision.
This panel didn’t shy away from hard truths either: the sadness that can come with success, the fear of fading relevance, the criticism that hits differently when it’s personal. But Marsai said it best: know your why. And let it evolve with you.
The Cost of Starting Your Own Business with Kandi Burruss and Nikki Ogunnaike
Kandi Burruss
Carol Lee Rose/ Getty Images for Marie ClaireKandi doesn’t sugarcoat the grind. From chart-topping songwriter to multi-business entrepreneur, she’s built her empire one risk—and one reinvention—at a time.
“Fear equals failure. If you don’t even try, you’ve failed automatically —and you did it to yourself. I’d rather take a risk and lose money than play it safe and never know what could’ve happened.”
She broke down the real costs of entrepreneurship: money, time, and emotional bandwidth. “You think you’re going to work less when you work for yourself?” she laughed. “You’re going to work more.” For Kandi, mommy guilt and financial setbacks are part of the package—but so is the satisfaction of seeing an idea through.
She opened up about scaling back on her clothing store and temporarily closing the original Old Lady Gang location. “It felt like failure,” she admitted, “but sometimes you have to step back to make things better.” Still, she’s not one to quit. She just pivots—with precision.
One of her most memorable reflections? How her music career hiccup led her to songwriting—ultimately writing the mega-hit “No Scrubs.” That song became the key to a new lane and legacy. “You may think you’re working on one dream,” she said, “but it could open the door to another.”
Also? Kandi wants you to stop emailing her from a Gmail. “You’re doing million-dollar business on a bootleg budget,” she joked. “Invest in yourself. Start with a domain name!”
The Marie Claire Power Play Summit was a powerful reminder that ambition, authenticity, and vulnerability aren’t separate traits—they work in tandem. Whether you’re building a bar, a brand, or a business from scratch, the key is to stay rooted in your voice, your story, and your why.
And if you need a sign to go for it? Consider this your green light.
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Feature image by Paras Griffin/ Getty Images for Power Play