Lloyd Opens Up About How Fatherhood Changed Him As A Man: "I Cried For Three Weeks"
It's said that when a little girl is born, she has her father wrapped around her finger and R&B singer Lloyd, who recently welcomed a daughter into the world, is no exception. In a recent interview, he let the world know that the "Southside" singer that we knew before is long gone, and now, his new role as 'Daddy' is his most important job.
2017 was a big year for the now 33-year-old father of two. Not only did he make a comeback to the music game, releasing his first project in 10 years, but in September 2017, he and his girlfriend, Dehea Abraham, welcomed their first child together. Along with adopting a healthier way of living, the singer also had to make some major life changes. In an interview with Madame Noire, Lloyd shared:
"Fatherhood has changed me for the best. It has humbled me far beyond anything. It has also energized me and motivated me, not for anything pretentious, just to be the best person I can, the best man I can be."
In a recent interview with The Breakfast Club, the singer revealed that the birth of his son, River took a greater toll on his emotional state than he could have imagined, especially after losing a child in a previous relationship to an abortion. So much so, that he cried for three weeks straight. He explained:
"I cried every day for the first three weeks after having my son. It made me look at my mom different and respect her a great deal…especially with her raising me by myself."
He explained that the most amazing gift that fatherhood has had to offer him is the power of self-reflection. In the past, Lloyd has been transparent about his battle with anxiety and depression as well as overcoming turmoil after the death of his little sister. The birth of his children forced the entertainer to take a hard look at his life and choose happiness:
"It's also forced me to look myself in the mirror on a constant, daily basis, and be cognizant about the things I can fix. That's the dopest thing that fatherhood has given me. I don't have to search anymore for fulfillment, especially in any place toxic or far-reaching. It's always inspiration at my fingertips."
"I never felt like that before. It's truly because of those real-life experiences that I'm able to express the sentiment in music. I think it's making me a better person."
Lloyd explained that his mini-muses have also been an essential piece of the singer's creative process.
"I recorded the rest of the 'TRU' album with him in the studio. I played instruments for him every day as a kid and sang him to sleep every day, just really enjoying it."
"[I've changed] as a man, as an artist, as a human being, a neighbor, son and a brother. I look at everything different."
The Atlanta-born superstar shared that his relationship with his children has even played a part in molding his overall worldview.
"Being away from them causes anxiety, but I also look at people's activities a lot different. If I see someone acting a certain way, I'll say 'dang, where her daddy at?' [I realized] everyone is someone's daughter. Everyone is someone's sister. Those are the most special people in my life."
Check out the full interview below!
Lloyd Talks Fatherhood, Tour Life, Irv Gotti, Ashanti + Morewww.youtube.com
Featured image by Gilbert Carrasquillo/WireImage
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Another season of Love Is Blind has come to a close, and almost two months later we’re still unpacking the drama that is Clay and AD. The finale, reunion, and post-interviews with Clay and AD after season six of Love Is Blind left millions of people wondering - why couldn’t AD see the signs? Clay told her he had a fear of marriage, his parents experienced infidelity, and he seemed to have many doubts about saying, "I do."
After changing his mind at the altar and hearing AD question why she feels like she’s never enough, I was finished watching. I didn’t need to hear anything else because, at that moment, I realized this wasn’t about Clay; this was about AD feeling inadequate before she ever met Clay.
If I’m honest, I don’t watch much dating television. TikTok keeps me updated with the clips that I need to see in order to be kept in the loop, but it’s difficult for me to watch an entire season of dating TV because seeing Black women settle for less and questioning their beauty is a trigger for me. In many ways, there were points in my life where I was AD, settling and ignoring red flags because I wanted to be loved.
Now, on the other side, it doesn’t feel good to see Black women lower their standards on national television. There have been many hot takes on this couple and who was in the wrong. Did Clay play in AD’s face or did she not listen to the truth of what he told her from day one? Was his reason for joining the show to promote his business and not to find the one?
We’ll never know the truth, but what we can do is learn tactics to better our self-worth. Founder and CEO of The Self Love Organization Denise Francis shared her expertise with xoNecole on what tangible steps to take to improve feelings of worthiness. “Self-love blooms in a garden where self-worth is planted, nourished, and whole. However, when your self-worth is challenged, displaced, or broken, it could be difficult to rebuild," Denise explains.
How To Rebuild Self-Worth
During her self-love coaching sessions, Denise likes to walk her clients through the cornerstones of rebuilding self-worth: grace and self-compassion. To her, self-worth is never lost, it's only displaced, so practicing self-compassion and giving yourself grace is a must. "We tend to place our self-worth in entities and people of ourselves such as relationship status, physical appearance, material possessions, social media followings, what others think of us, and more. Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth.
"Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth."
"When we place our value into people or things, we tend to feel that we are not enough, worth it, special, or important when relationship status, job titles, friendships, and physical appearances are lost or changed. We then tend to feel lost within ourselves because we’ve placed our value outside of ourselves. Using grace and compassion, you can rebuild your self-worth by returning home to who you are at your core," she concludes.
How To Return Home To Yourself
Denise advises taking a step back and using self-reflection through journaling by answering the following journaling prompts:
First, ask yourself, "What do you tend to attach your self-worth to and why?"
Is it your relationships, your job title, your finances, your appearance, etc.? Why do you think you place so much emphasis on external status? How does it make you feel when you are defining yourself through these entities and/or people outside of yourself?
Then, ask yourself, "Without these things, who am I?"
Once you have your answers, show yourself kindness, remove the shame, and, as Denise says, "Redefine yourself by detaching your value from the things and people you have no control over and no longer serve you. Challenge yourself to define yourself outside of titles and societal values."
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person. You begin to find value in the way you love instead of your relationship status, your compassion instead of your popularity, your drive instead of your income/job title, and your heart instead of your physical appearance," she adds.
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person."
"Be intentional with healing your self-worth by leaning into the people and things that nourish your core values. Surround yourself with the people who love and cherish you, they will always remind you just how valuable you truly are."
It all goes back to self-compassion and grace. As Denise explains, leading with those two things as you heal and rebuild your self-worth allows you to reduce negative self-talk that might come up for you. "This weakens thoughts like, 'I am not enough... why am I never enough?'" she shares, "And 'I don't deserve this while strengthening thoughts like 'I deserve better,' 'I am enough,' and 'I am worth it.'"
Denise continues, "Once you return home and remember the irreplaceable person you are, you can rebuild your self-worth by placing it back where it belongs. It belongs to you."
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Featured image by LaylaBird/Getty Images