

Have you ever felt so much at one time that you can't feel anything anymore? If this feeling is familiar to you, you might struggle with anxiety, and you are not alone.
Anxiety disorders affect more than 40 million adults in the U.S., a large percentage of those affected are black women. Women of color are less likely to publicly confront or address their struggles with stress and anxiety because they fear being stigmatized. Luckily, as of late, more and more celebrities are speaking out and shifting the narrative and the stigma about mental health in the black community.
British model Jourdan Dunn is the latest to speak out about her struggles with her mental health. On the outside, Dunn lives a life similar to many other millennial women. What some people might not know is that she cares for her six-year-old son with sickle cell anemia, all the while maintaining a career as an international supermodel.
Recently, the model posted a tweet on her Instagram that read, "Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired [at] the same time. It's the fear of failure, but no urge to be productive. It's wanting friends but hate socializing. It's wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely. It feels [like] everything at once so it's like you numb."
Her caption read, "My life in a tweet."
Dunn's career jump-started when she was discovered by a modeling agency when she was 15. In 2014, she secured the #1 spot on the Forbes top earning models list, becoming the first black British model to earn a spot on the line-up. Though the 27-year-old superstar has lived a seemingly star-studded life, this isn't the first time Dunn has opened up about her struggle with anxiety. In January, the model penned an open letter that was posted on Instagram about her recent struggle with anxiety, depression, and self-doubt.
"My insecurities had me questioning myself everyday. What am I doing? Where am I going? Will I ever be hired again? My career has been a roller coaster of rejection and support. I've recently learned that vulnerability isn't a weakness it's a strength."
Women of color are becoming more transparent about their battle with mental health, and the movement is igniting the change that we desperately need to see in our community. I wasn't aware that many other women of color dealt with anxiety until I was bold enough to talk about it candidly with my peers.
My family calls me "Stormy" because I have a hard time controlling my emotions. I had come to the decision that I couldn't carry the weight of the world on my shoulders alone, so I sought help from my homegirls and discovered that many of them struggled with the same issue.
When I was 17, I started taking antidepressants and anti-anxiety medicine, and the dosage was way off. I felt like a zombie, and I didn't feel like I was making healthy decisions, so I stopped my prescription. When I was 18, I had my first panic attack. It was the first time my anxiety had gotten that bad, and it literally felt like I was going into cardiac arrest.
At times, it feels like there is no amount of positive self-talk that can pull you out of your funk. Even when you feel like you should be counting your blessings, you feel numb and disassociated with things you would normally be enthusiastic about.
Your battle with stress and/or anxiety can make the future seem bleak, but hold on to your optimism. There are multiple options available to help manage your nerves and create a better quality of life because we need your black girl magic at full capacity. If medicine isn't for you, there are more holistic approaches to coping with stress and managing your anxiety.
Here is a list of some things you can do to ease your anxiety without medication:
Yoga
Super cliche, I know, but practicing yoga has helped me find time in the day to be completely present rather than worrying myself to death with past or future experiences. Manage the chaos going on in the outside world by gaining control of your mind. Sometimes you just have to experience this moment. Right here, right now.
Manage Your Intake
Take the week to monitor what you feed your body. Does your diet include high doses of caffeine or sugar? Are you eating well-balanced meals that give you the energy to get through your day? What you eat and drink may be affecting how you feel. Add plenty of vitamin B and Omega-3s to your diet if you're feeling tired or anxious.
Exercise
Running has always been great for my anxiety because it gives my endless amount of jitters an outlet. If running isn't really your thing, studies show that any kind of aerobic exercise can be just as effective as antidepressants.
My experience with antidepressants was isolated and it was pretty likely that I was given a dosage that wasn't right for me, but, if you or someone you know is struggling with anxiety and these suggestions don't help, please contact a doctor.
Like Jourdan Dunn, we sometimes suffer in silence. With healthy coping mechanisms and a good support system your anxiety can be managed. Are you struggling with anxiety? Share some coping methods you use in the comments, they just might help a sister out.
Featured image by Getty Images
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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I’ve gotta say that, for the most part, my friends are pretty damn chill. There is one (major) exception, though — and it’s an odd one. Even after all these years and countless times of me giving them the same answer, if there is a time when they think they are my mama, it’s when they see an email come through at an odd hour of the night. Then, all of a sudden, here they come asking me when do I get sleep if I’m emailing at (say) three in the morning.
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
There is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
Something that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
Even if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
I saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
____
Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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Featured image by FG Trade/Getty Images