‘It’s So Much Power In Letting Go’: Lauren London Shares Inspirational Message About Dealing With Trauma
The world has watched Lauren London grapple with the loss of her love and younger son’s father Nipsey Hussle, and as she mourns, fans have continued showing her support and light as she transitions back into acting. Since Nipsey’s death, Lauren has been mostly silent, speaking here and there in interviews. But most recently, the beloved actress went viral on Twitter after she opened up about trauma and control in a clip from the On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast.
In the clip, she shared an inspirational message about how to deal with life when things don’t go as planned. “When you have this plan for your life as you should, if or when that gets derailed, and you have plan b now to go off that you didn’t plan on, it is the ultimate test of surrender,” she said. “Because at the end of the day, as much control as we think we have, we do not and it’s actually very powerful to surrender. We think that it’s a weakness, but it’s so much power in letting go and flowing with the river ‘cause life is gonna do what it’s gonna do and we are all gonna get chin-checked by life one way or another. So, I might as well focus on my enlightenment and roll with the river and not fight with the rocks.”
The ATL breakout star has slowly been making her return to the big screen after working alongside Michael B. Jordan in Without Remorse, Kevin Hart’s True Story, and she now will be starring in Kenya Barris’ Netflix film You People with Eddie Murphy and Nia Long. Elsewhere in the interview, she opened up about the time when she thought she would never return to Hollywood.
“What was stopping me was that life changed and so my perspective on life changed,” she said. “My field, the audition process, and the rejection and the politics of what came with what I do did not align with what I was seeking anymore. I didn’t want to have to politic, I didn’t want to have to do things that I felt weren’t in alignment with my truth and I just wanted to be myself fully.”
“If I could participate in a project wholly, I would do it. But if I could not, I didn’t want to be fake and not give of myself in a real way.”
The mother of two then revealed how Michael was the one that convinced her to give acting another shot with the Amazon Prime film Tom Clancy’s Without Remorse.
While she was still hesitant with taking on the project, she felt a connection to the character Pam after reading the script. Pam was married to Michael’s character John Clark and she was tragically killed in an attack against him.
“Michael was like ‘look just read the script’ and so I read the script and what drew me to it was that I can participate authentically. I can genuinely play this role because I really resonated with the fact that she passes and he has all these visions of her and that she’s still communicating with him just not physically, but spiritually and that’s exactly where I felt I was at the time.”
We’re glad to see Lauren doing well and getting back to her passion authentically.
Featured image by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images for The Recording Academy
How Content Creators Hey Fran Hey And Shameless Maya Embraced The Pivot
This article is in partnership with Meta Elevate.
If you’ve been on the internet at all within the past decade, chances are the names Hey Fran Hey and Shameless Maya (aka Maya Washington) have come across your screen. These content creators have touched every platform on the web, spreading joy to help women everywhere live their best lives. From Fran’s healing natural remedies to Maya’s words of wisdom, both of these content creators have built a loyal following by sharing honest, useful, and vulnerable content. But in search of a life that lends to more creativity, freedom, and space, these digital mavens have moved from their bustling big cities (New York City and Los Angeles respectively) to more remote locations, taking their popular digital brands with them.
Content Creators Hey Fran Hey and Maya Washington Talk "Embracing The Pivot"www.youtube.com
In partnership with Meta Elevate — an online learning platform that provides Black, Hispanic, and Latinx-owned businesses access to 1:1 mentoring, digital skills training, and community — xoNecole teamed up with Franscheska Medina and Maya Washington on IG live recently for a candid conversation about how they’ve embraced the pivot by changing their surroundings to ultimately bring out the best in themselves and their work. Fran, a New York City native, moved from the Big Apple to Portland, Oregon a year ago. Feeling overstimulated by the hustle and bustle of city life, Fran headed to the Pacific Northwest in search of a more easeful life.
Her cross-country move is the backdrop for her new campaign with Meta Elevate— a perfectly-timed commercial that shows how you can level up from wherever you land with the support of free resources like Meta Elevate. Similarly, Maya packed up her life in Los Angeles and moved to Sweden, where she now resides with her husband and adorable daughter. Maya’s life is much more rural and farm-like than it had been in California, but she is thriving in this peaceful new setting while finding her groove as a new mom.
While Maya is steadily building and growing her digital brand as a self-proclaimed “mom coming out of early retirement,” Fran is redefining her own professional grind. “It’s been a year since I moved from New York City to Portland, Oregon,” says Fran. “I think the season I’m in is figuring out how to stay successful while also slowing down.” A slower-paced life has unlocked so many creative possibilities and opportunities for these ladies, and our conversation with them is a well-needed reminder that your success is not tied to your location…especially with the internet at your fingertips. Tapping into a community like Meta Elevate can help Black, Hispanic, and Latinx entrepreneurs and content creators stay connected to like minds and educated on new digital skills and tools that can help scale their businesses.
During a beautiful moment in the conversation, Fran gives Maya her flowers for being an innovator in the digital space. Back when “influencing” was in its infancy and creators were just trying to find their way, Fran says Maya was way ahead of her time. “I give Maya credit for being one of the pioneers in the digital space,” Fran said. “Maya is a one-person machine, and I always tell her she really changed the game on what ads, campaigns, and videos, in general, should look like.”
When asked what advice she’d give content creators, Maya says the key is having faith even when you don’t see the results just yet. “It’s so easy to look at what is, despite you pouring your heart into this thing that may not be giving you the returns that you thought,” she says. “Still operate from a place of love and authenticity. Have faith and do the work. A lot of people are positive thinkers, but that’s the thinking part. You also have to put your faith into work and do the work.”
Fran ultimately encourages content creators and budding entrepreneurs to take full advantage of Meta Elevate’s vast offerings to educate themselves on how to build and grow their businesses online. “It took me ten years to get to the point where I’m making ads at this level,” she says. “I didn’t have those resources in 2010. I love the partnership with Meta Elevate because they’re providing these resources for free. I just think of the people that wouldn’t be able to afford that education and information otherwise. So to amplify a company like this just feels right.”
Watch the full conversation with the link above, and join the Meta Elevate community to connect with fellow businesses and creatives that are #OnTheRiseTogether.
Featured image courtesy of Shameless Maya and Hey Fran Hey
This Is Your Sign To Try The 75 Soft Challenge
They say it takes 21 days to start a habit and 90 days to make it a lifestyle, but there’s a popular internet challenge that’s meeting us in the middle to form new habits and hit the reset button to our daily routines. It’s called the 75 Soft Challenge.
Derived from the popular 75 Hard Challenge that took off on TikTok in 2020, the 75 Soft Challenge got its gentler alternative from TikTok creator Stephen Gallagher, which still promised to change your life through improved mental toughness and self-discipline.
We all have our reasons for needing a reset. At times life can get to such a place of monotony and stagnancy that we start to realize that we’re moving on autopilot. With the 75 Soft Challenge, individuals who take part in the daily routine are encouraged to go outside the comfort of their normal routines in order to build new habits that promote physical and mental well-being. While the rules can seem strict, they require a level of discipline and consistency to be tapped into, which can be a benefit to those looking to improve their self-esteem and confidence while feeling a sense of accomplishment once it’s completed.
For Dresden Davis, creator of the Curlie Cook, starting the 75 Soft Challenge was a way to kickstart a new beginning after an 18-month season of depression. Having not been in the best mental space, Davis began to see her weight fluctuate over time, which sparked her interest in taking on the 75-day challenge. With the goal to focus on her discipline, get back to herself, and restore her mental fitness, Davis tells xoNecole, “I was looking to restart my discipline.” She continues, “75 soft, in general, is about fitness and health, but it's more about discipline: can you do something that you say you're going to do for 75 days?”
But what are the rules to the 75 Soft Challenge?
- Eat well and only drink on social occasions.
- Train for 45 minutes every day for 75 days. One day a week is to be active recovery.
- Drink three liters of water a day.
- Read 10 pages of any book a day.
- NOTE: If you miss a day, you have to start over.
From January 1st to March 16th, Davis embarked on the daily challenge of mental and physical transformation, one that resulted in 11lbs lost over ten weeks and a mental and physical shift that she can attest to. As a way to track her progress, Davis shared her 75 Soft Challenge meals on her TikTok account and even went without telling her immediate circle that she was embarking on the journey.
There, she showcased different ways to eat fruits and veggies that were in season, shared delicious dishes like broccolini pasta, spinach pasta, and roasted Brussels sprouts, and presented ways to prepare one type of protein or vegetable in different ways. “I took the time each week to write out what I wanted to eat, and over the years, I've learned that for me high protein, veggies, and complex carbs work best for me,” she shares. Because the rules of the challenge don’t specify what “eat well” means, Davis recommends to "define what eating well means for you."
week 8 of 75 soft. less than a month left + whew. ate out twice this week + instantly regretted it so there’s that☹️ going to finish out these last few weeks strong! i’m 12lbs from my goals. i know i got this. #75soft #75softchallenge #mealsoftheweek #weekofmeals #healthyliving #healthyeating #weightloss #roadto30
Before starting the challenge, Davis researched the results of the 75 Soft participants to approach the challenge with realistic expectations and avoid the hasty temptation of comparison.
“I didn't want people to come and look at mine and be like, ‘Well, she lied,’ or, ‘That's unrealistic.’ So I decided that I needed to be honest,” she recalls. While results of the challenge may vary from person to person — depending on their body type and personal goals — Davis emphasizes the importance of listening to your body. “Do what works for you and not necessarily what works for everyone else,” she says.
“If weight loss is your reason for doing the challenge, healthy and sustainable weight loss is one to two pounds a week,” Davis shared. “If you are losing more than that, you could be doing something drastic that's not sustainable.”
“Always do what's sustainable, especially if you're doing this for a healthier lifestyle. A lifestyle is not a quick fix. It should be something that you can maintain for a long time,” she says.
What makes the 75 Soft Challenge unique is its connection to building self-efficacy within oneself. First cited by Albert Bandura, self-efficacy is an individual's belief regarding their ability to shape the outcomes of their life events. Unlike self-esteem, which often revolves around notions of an individual's value or merit, self-efficacy is founded on one’s confidence in their ability to navigate future situations. So while self-esteem is largely focused on the present, self-efficacy is more oriented toward the future.
“The mental aspect of when you stick with something, and you see the results and feel good about it, and you're not tempted to go back to those old ways,” she says. The results of the challenge go far beyond the physical, as her mindset has seen an even greater improvement post the 75-day commitment.
“It's not even about eating well or working out; it's the commitment to yourself,” she says. “I know people always say, ‘All you ever have is your word,’ and they always relate it to other people. But if you tell yourself you're going to do something, are you going to do it? For me, this wasn't about anyone else. I was trying to get back to feeling better about myself.”
Davis admits that there were mental roadblocks for her to overcome throughout the challenge, like waking up at 5:30 a.m. in the freezing weather to head to the gym or finding time to reach each day. “You're not going to be motivated every day. But you said you were going to do this. And if you don't do it now, when are you going to do it?” she says.
Looking back, the greatest reward was the mental fortitude that she gained in the process, and enjoyed the experience overall. Sometimes it’s not always what we think we can do, it’s what we do to prove to ourselves what’s possible.
But the question is, would she consider doing the 75 Hard Challenge? “Looking back, I'm kind of like, maybe that was a little easy. Maybe I can do a little bit more. Maybe I’ll try 75 Hard too.”
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