Upon first glance of Raye Raye's Instagram, one might mistakenly conclude the obvious--that she's just another pretty face who also happens to be really good at doing makeup, and that those two popular facts alone are the foundation of her Insta-fame. And then, more than likely, you'd find yourself scrolling down as far as 16 weeks deep into flawless selfies and product promos before dismissing Raye as “just another beauty blogger" whose 800K followers helped land herself at the heart of your Explorer page.
But trust us, you'd be wrong. Well, not about the pretty and popular part.
Raye Raye is not just another MUA. Take away the makeup and she'd still more than likely be able to sell you off her heart and humor alone. Which in all honestly, has probably helped with branding herself in a now saturated industry as “beauty blogging."
“It's funny and probably no one believes me, but before all this Youtube stuff, or before people knew my name, I didn't like to be the forefront. I'm shy."
I believe it. The humble ones usually are. When I had the pleasure of speaking with 25-year-old makeup maven Raye Boyce, I'd already did my research. Between her Instagram clips of infectious laughter and cutesy pranks on her husband and manager Eric, to her 500,000+ viewed video decoding the secrets behind a “flawless selfie" (hint: it takes like 50 filters and five apps), I knew Raye was different from her fellow beauty peers. She was refreshingly personable and unapologetically honest.
"My first time dabbling in makeup was when I was a junior [in high school]. I always played with it but never wore it out. It wasn't until senior year of high school that I started wearing a little bit of mascara, eye shadow and lip gloss.
I was always a tomboy. And it's funny because growing up, I don't know if my mom wanted a boy and that just never happened, but she used to give me cornrows like Queen Latifah in Set it Off and I'd have sneakers on. It was crazy. I didn't start becoming a girly-girl until senior year."
That might explain a few things. But Raye, real name Raytifa — “My father's name is Ray. My mothers's name is Tiffany. They like to make up names!" — doesn't just have another “ugly ducking" story to tell or sell (although ironically, she admits she was made fun of for her "duck lips" growing up).
Nope. She actually confessed that her success in the beauty industry, which has now afforded Raye the luxury of self-employment by way of huge advertising bucks, sponsorships, and even features in Elle Magazine, didn't come without tons of doubt and was indeed by way of accident. The Boston native, who moved to New York in an attempt to find herself while most of her friends were off to college, admits that her bad anxiety kept her indoors most of the time and, as a result, on social media.
"I would post pictures [on Facebook] like, 'Hey I got this $1 lipstick from the beauty supply store in New York,' etc. So another YouTuber- she was already in the game and she's an OG- she approached me like, 'Have you ever been interested in doing Youtube?' And I was like, 'Well, that sounds kind of stupid!' Why would I sit there and be all into myself on camera, putting make up on?' She was like, 'Just give it a try. Just do one video and if you don't like it, whatever!'
So I gave it a try and posted it. It was my 'Everyday Makeup' video and people liked it. And it got a lot of views for how small my following was. Then from there, it just blew up and people kept watching and I just kept posting. I didn't intend on becoming a [beauty] 'YouTuber,' I didn't even know what the heck that was.
Raye Raye Nicki Minaj Inspired 'Feeling Myself' Make Up Tutorial
And as the followers continued to amass, Raye would continue to post videos in her free time, steadily picking up traffic as she found herself flourishing in the online beauty industry. However, with the mini-fame also came the price to pay for it- the negative comments. Which was almost enough to drive a zen-like, carefree Raye Raye to call to log off for good! The biggest obstacle for me was putting myself out there.
"When I first got my little group of negative comments, I wanted to quit. I was like, 'I don't have to deal with this. This [doing make up] is a choice that I have. I don't have to put up with crap like this when I can be around people who love me and respect me and not deal with negativity from people that I don't even know.'
But at the end of the day, that's what [naysayers] want you to do. They want you to quit. And it's just not going to happen. (Mimics Mary J. Blige) 'Don't need your hateration and holleration' over here."
And thank God she didn't stop. Raye-Raye, who admits that she got into the online beauty business while it was still transitioning into the lucrative industry that it is today, has now moved to L.A. and lives entirely off her profession as a makeup guru. She also humbly broke down how one is able to bank off beauty.
"I realized I could do this full time like a year and a half ago because I started getting sponsors. It's funny because now and days, the girls that are coming into the YouTube game and blowing up, they are getting sponsors immediately. So like me, I wasn't part of the beginning era, but I was somewhere in the middle, and I didn't start really getting big sponsors that I could actually make a living off of until I had about 300,000 subscribers. So it had to get to that point for me to actually be full-time and make a living and be able to take care of myself.
At first, you would bank off of your "Ad Sense." Google allows companies to buy ad space on your videos so when you click it, you're able to make money, but (the pay) can vary in range depending on your followers. It can range anywhere from a few dollars to $100,000 [in ads] and that's if you have like, a million subscribers. And then comes the sponsorships from the brands. Makeup brands, if they have a new lipstick or palette coming out, they'll contact you, they will give you 'X' amount of money for YouTube placement in your videos. So that is where most of the money comes from too!"
So to put it humbly, she's living. With a combined social media following that ranges in the millions, as well as over an impressive 40,000,000+ YouTube views, the young makeup maven has not only been sponsored by some of the top beauty brands (Makeup Forever, MAC and Smashbox just to name a few), she has also been featured in a Pantene Pro-V hair commercial for her luscious curly locks as well. All of this thanks to makeup and of course, her fanbase of loyalists who Raye-Raye affectionately refers to as her "Bay-Bays" (Babies!), who she is 110% loyal right back to. So loyal that the makeup expert recently decided to get deeper than skin-deep when she revealed she had anxiety, in hopes of helping others deal with it.
“I would bring it up in my previous videos but it would be more like a joking matter. Like I'd say, 'Oh, I could never do that, with my anxiety, I'd go nuts…' But people actually caught on to it. They were tweeting me and emailing me like, 'I have anxiety and I have depression too- can you talk about it?'
Raye admits that the pressures of keeping up with social media, a huge following and a demanding posting schedule can be the source of her anxiety and spurts of depression, and it times she feels guilty for letting her 'blessings' get her down:
[Being in the public can] trigger it. And that's why anxiety, it's like a funny little thing. Because sometimes you'll think you're fine, until months and months pass, and time passed, and then you realize you were suppressing your feelings. And that whole time you thought you were fine, you were actually ignoring [depression] while still dealing with it.
It was like, every time I got a break from [anxiety] it was like, 'Nope! Here is another trigger!' And it was getting worse. But then I thought, 'I have some nerve to be complaining when I have all these things. I could be on the street right now in the rain, sleeping on the concrete and not have any food…I have health, I have a roof over my head, I have a husband, I have food and my family.' But it gets to the point where you keep suppressing it and you keep ignoring it and you help other people with their issues while ignoring yours, until you get to your breaking point. And that's what happened!
Luckily though, Raye admits that she has sought some self-help through plenty of prayer, self-awareness and the advice from trusted loved ones, which just so happens to be her mother in law as well as that of her boyfriend of eight years and husband of three years, Eric Boyce --“He was my first real boyfriend." After meeting on Myspace, the two decided to do the long distance thing for a while (Eric lived in New York while Raye was still in Boston), before finally meeting in person and as the fairytales go, "it was love at first sight."
“When we finally first met, there were a lot of laughs… I am such an awkward person! I'm that person that leans in to give you a hug and they head-butt you. That's me! But there was no awkwardness. We just had a lot of laughs and we ate a lot. I just knew from there he was the one.
[Tweet "We just had a lot of laughs and ate a lot. I knew from there he was the one."]
Raye humorously refers to Eric as the "Martin" to her "Gina," and it's clear to see why. All over her Instagram and YouTube, when the two aren't cracking jokes on one another, the adventurists are riding four-wheelers, helicopters and even recently, sky-diving.
So what could possibly be next for the girl who at 18 felt hopeless but by 25, managed to seemingly figure it all out?
"In 5 years, speaking it into existence as a business woman, I will have my own make up brand and it will be sold in stores and it will be successful. As well as other brands. And I also hope to get into real estate so hopefully I'll own some property. And as far as my personal life, probably some little kiddies running around. Some little Raye-Raye's playing in makeup, just a good future with my husband, with [our little] family. Me and my husband have spoken about moving out of the country. We really like Thailand… Maybe Japan or Hong Kong. We'll see!"
She came. She saw. She contoured!
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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If, while on your continual journey to get the best out of your own tresses, you’d like to learn how to get them healthier than it’s ever been, I’ve got seven acids that are typically known for skin use that can be just as beneficial to your hair as well.
1. Salicylic Acid
When it comes to your skin, salicylic acid is beta-hydroxy acid that is great for your skin if you’re looking for something that will exfoliate it, clear out your pores and dissolve dead skin cells. In fact, this is why it’s an acid that is quite popular when it comes to treating acne.
Your hair will enjoy salicylic acid because, if you’re looking to remove product build-up, you want to soothe an itchy or irritated scalp or you’ve got some dandruff flakes that are totally driving you up the wall, salicylic acid has the ability to treat all of this. Either purchasing a shampoo that contains this ingredient or adding it to your favorite scalp scrub is probably the most effective way to get the most out of it.
Just make sure that if your scalp is sensitive or dry that you approach with caution. In these instances, it could end up irritating your scalp more than helping it out, so use a very little bit in the beginning to make sure that it vibes with you.
2. Lactic Acid
Lactic acid is an alpha hydroxy acid that can help to even out your skin tone as well as slow down the signs of aging. The properties in it help to do this by reducing hyperpigmentation and boosting collagen production in your skin as well as keeping it hydrated.
Why is it great for your locks? For one thing, lactic acid is considered to be a humectant. This means that it pulls water from the air so that your hair is able to remain moisturized.
Another thing that makes it a winner is the fact that lactic acid breaks down dead skin cells on your scalp (so that your hair follicles are able to flourish), it can help to soften and detangle your hair (making it a helpful addition on your wash days) and it also helps to protect your tresses from heat styling tools and UV damage. Applying a hair rinse that’s made up of part lactic acid and part water can work wonderfully (so long as you apply it once a month, tops; more than that might be too “intense” for your hair strands).
3. Glycolic Acid
Glycolic acid is a water-soluble alpha hydroxy acid that is actually made from sugar. Your skin will adore it because it smooths the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, improves the texture of your skin, gently exfoliates, clears your pores and brightens up your complexion overall.
The reasons why you should consider this acid for your hair is because it helps to keep your scalp youthful (and yes, there is such a thing; check out “Your Scalp Ages Six Times Faster Than Your Face. Why It Matters.”), removes excess sebum (that could be clogging up your hair follicles) and it helps to keep your hair moisturized. Your best bet here is to make it a part of your pre-shampooing ritual.
4. Succinic Acid
Succinic acid is an acid that is made from sugar cane and contains antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties. Although it doesn’t exactly exfoliate (like many of these other acids do), it can still be beneficial to your skin when it comes to reducing the kind of irritation that is associated with eczema, decreasing the bacteria that leads to breakouts and keeping your skin pretty hydrated.
As far as your hair goes, this is an acid that is worth trying out because it helps to balance the sebum that is on your scalp, remove dead skin and product build-up that can irritate your scalp and clog your hair follicles and, succinic acid is also beneficial when it comes to reducing dandruff and helping to prevent hair loss. Most people tend to apply this as a serum.
5. Hyaluronic Acid
I’ve officially sung the praises of hyaluronic acid on this platform before. One example is via the article, “Why Your Skin, Hair, And Nails Need Hyaluronic Acid Like...Yesterday.” On the skin tip, hyaluronic acid is great because it deeply hydrates your skin, contains anti-aging properties and can even bring relief to vaginal (including vulvar) dryness.
Your hair will adore this particular acid because it aids moisture to it (including your hair follicles), will help to improve your hair’s texture and it also soothes scalp dryness, nurtures the cuticles of your tresses and decreases frizz. Using a serum rich in this acid as a pre-poo or as a leave-in conditioner is recommended.
6. Azelaic Acid
If you’ve never heard of azelaic acid before, this is your lucky day. It’s a dicarboxylic acid that, when it comes to skincare (and hair care) products, is usually synthetic. Anyway, if you are looking for a way to reduce inflammation, even skin tone after a breakout or if you want to use an exfoliant that will improve the texture of your skin overtime, you might want to give this acid a shot.
This one makes the list as far as your hair is concerned because, if achieving more inches is your current focus, azelaic acid might come in handy. That’s because it is able to strengthen your hair, thicken your strands and also stimulate hair growth from within your hair follicles.
7. Glutamic Acid
Glutamic acid is actually a type of amino acid. Skin-wise, it’s great for deeply hydrating your skin as well as protecting it from pollutants and damaging UV rays. Also, if you’re looking for an acid that treats skin dryness or “tightness,” this could be the answer to your prayers.
Since glutamic acid is also considered to be a humectant, it’s another acid that can moisturize your hair. As a result, it can decrease breakage while helping your hair to feel smooth and look shiny.
BONUS: Amino Acids
Speaking of amino acids and hair, please try to keep some amino acids in your diet at all times. The reason why is because, since your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin, to be exact), amino acids are pretty darn effective when it comes to helping you to maintain the overall health and well-being of your hair.
Ones to prioritize include proline (it boosts collagen so that your hair strands can maintain flexibility); arginine (it increases blood flow to your hair follicles so that they can receive the nutrients that they need); cysteine (it helps to keep your hair follicles healthy); alanine (it helps your system to produce more collagen), and isoleucine (it strengthens the tissues that help to make up your hair strands). All of these are available in supplement form or you can use Google to see which foods contain them.
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Although it might initially seem odd to apply acid to your hair, as you can see, certain ones will work miracles for it. So, test them out to see which one tickles your fancy.
Hell, since they work for your skin as well — it’s a two-for-one deal that is worth every penny!
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