Here’s How High-Profile Wardrobe Stylist Germanee Gerald Finds Balance In Her Life
In xoNecole's Finding Balance, we profile boss women making boss moves in the world and in their respective industries. We talk to them about their business, their life, and most of all, what they do to find balance in their busy lives.
If you haven't heard of Germanee Gerald, well, thank us later. Her Instagram alone may give you all the feels, but you can easily walk away with a new sense of fashion inspiration simply by seeing how she does WHAT she does.
Gerald is not only a wardrobe stylist responsible for dressing down many of Silicon Valley's C-suite and industry professionals, but she's also had a long career working in merchandising, retail management, and now, entrepreneurship. In 2015, she started GG+CO Styling Firm, where her entrepreneurial pursuits led her to create a customer-centric focus on fashion, and more importantly, style. Not to mention she also hosted her own events that bring together both men and women to learn all about dressing the part and feeling their best while doing so.
Germanee Gerald
Just because she's dealing with clothes and celebrity clientele doesn't mean that everything is easy for the Charlotte, North Carolina native. In fact, her days, weeks, and even hours are meshed with a lot of preparation, time management, and of course, big personalities.
For our latest installment of Finding Balance, we wanted to know how Germanee balances dressing some of today's hottest executives while keeping a bit of fly for herself:
What is an average day or week like for you?
My work week varies as GG+Co Styling Firm is a three-pronged business. My work as a stylist requires me to interact with clients at fittings in-person and virtually, and I also woo potential clients with pitch decks. I pivot from styling to planning with my team for our semi-annual 'Sip N' Style events, where we educate individuals on how to hone in on their personal style over cocktails all while supporting local retailers. When I've washed my hands from client and event work, I'm using the rest of my time to work my style course that I will be launching in January where I'll be teaching individuals how to curate their signature style.
What do you find to be the most hectic part of your week? How do you push through?
I don't think I can pinpoint one singular thing that makes my week hectic. However, I often find it challenging to juggle and balance my schedule from time to time with my hands being in so many things.
Germanee Gerald
How do you practice self-care? What is your self-care routine?
I practice self-care by giving myself space to pause, meditate, and collect my thoughts at the beginning of each week. Each Monday, I reset, catch up on Sunday's sermons (since I'm usually working on the weekends), meal prep, try to write out my to-do list so I know what's ahead of me, and treat myself to a mask.
How do you find balance with:
Friends?
It's hard, but my friends are important to me and I make an effort to show them that. For me, it's all about calendaring. I often schedule calls, FaceTime dates, or time to hang with them in person. I also make it a point to try to clear out my unread text messages I may have missed from them before I go to sleep at night.
Germanee Gerald
Love/Relationships?
At this point in life, I'm focusing on self-love. I'm making a point to be intentional about becoming the best version of myself before I allow space for someone else in my life.
Dating?
While I'm focusing on myself, I do try to go out on dates from time to time when I'm equally intrigued by a guy. These are also scheduled out in advance, so it's important to me that I spend time with a guy who can understand and be sensitive to my schedule.
Exercise?
Exercising and having it in my routine is important to me. I appreciate it not only for the physical benefits, but it also helps me to set my intention for the day and release stress. I try to workout at least four times a week in the mornings. My workouts range from three-mile runs to cardio and weightlifting.
Do you cook or find yourself eating out?
I typically cook my meals six out of the seven days of the week, and sometimes I even cook my cheat meals. For me, it helps cut down on spending, which is important as an entrepreneur. In addition, it allows me to have full visibility of what's going in my meals. However, I do try to treat myself to a meal out once a week.
Do you ever detox?
I've always found it difficult to detox and disconnect. Taking breaks makes me feel like I'm perpetuating listlessness and impeding my goals, so it's seldom that I detox from work. However, I've found it very beneficial to detox from social media; I compare myself less to other people's personal relationships, careers, physical appearances.
Germanee Gerald
"I've found it very beneficial to detox from social media; I compare myself less to other people's personal relationships, careers, physical appearances."
When you are going through a bout of uncertainty, or feeling stuck, how do you handle it?
I usually lean on faith and friends when doubt arises. I pray, read scriptures, and ask for clarity. Talking to friends helps me get out of my own head and gives me a different perspective — they assure me that I'm on the right path, that I'm capable, and if I'm stuck they usually help me strategize and tease out my ideas. I also have to self-promote at times. Talking to myself in the mirror and speaking positive affirmations to tell myself I'm capable also helps.
What does success mean to you?
The concept of success, to me, means accomplishing a goal that I set and holding myself accountable to complete it. When I was in college, I promised my parents that changing my major from biochemistry to fashion would pay off, and upon graduating I landed a position at Gap, Inc. in the company's highly regarded Rotational Management Program — which promised a role at the company working at one of its subsidiaries upon graduating the program.
I said that I would work for myself, and now, I am. I created a plan, saved for two years, and on the day of my ten year anniversary at Gap, Inc., I was able to call myself a full-time entrepreneur. I created the Sip N' Style events to educate individuals on style, how to find it, and what works best for them. Now I do that, and the event has grown from five people in my living room to hosting 250 people at event spaces in the Bay Area. Finally, last year I created a vision board with ten of my 'ideal' clients, and I've had the pleasure of working with half of them. There's still work to be done there, but I know I'll secure the bag, as I've done with the other things I've set out to do.
Germanee Gerald
"I said that I would work for myself, and now, I am. I created a plan, saved for two years, and on the day of my ten year anniversary at Gap Inc., I was able to call myself a full-time entrepreneur."
What is something you think others forget when it comes to finding balance?
I think people forget the importance of it (myself included). It's imperative to have a healthy balance to show up and be your best self mentally, physically, and emotionally.
To keep up with Germanee, follow her on Instagram @germanee_g and visit her website GGandcostyling.com!
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Exclusive: Dreka Gates Talks Farm Life, Self-Mastery, And Her Wellness Brand
Dreka Gates is making a name in wellness through authenticity and innovativeness. Although we were introduced to her as a music manager for her husband, Kevin Gates, she has now carved out her own lane outside of music as a wellness entrepreneur. But according to Dreka, this is nothing new.
In an xoNecole exclusive, the mom of two opened up about many things, including starting her wellness journey at 13 years old. However, a near-death experience during a procedure at 20 made her start taking her health more seriously.
“There's so many different levels, and now, I'm in a space of just integrating all of this good stuff that I've learned just about just being human, you know?” Dreka tells us. “So it's also fun because it's like a journey of self-discovery and self-mastery. That's what I call it. So it's never-ending.”
Courtesy
If you follow Dreka, then you’re familiar with her holistic lifestyle, as she’s no stranger to promoting wellness, self-care, and holistic living. She even lives part-time on a Mississippi farm, not far from her grandmother and great-grandmother’s farm, where she spent some summers as a child.
While her grandmother and great-grandmother have passed on, Dreka reflects on that time in her life and how having a farm as an adult is her getting back to her roots. “So the farm was purchased back in 2017, and it was like, ah, that'll just be a place where we go when we're not touring or whatever,” she said.
“But COVID hit, and I was there, and I was on the land, and I just started remembering back to going to my grandmother's during the summertime and freaking picking peas and going and eating mulberries off the freaking tree in the bushes.
“And she literally had cotton plants. I know some people feel weird about picking cotton and stuff. She had cotton plants and I would go and pick cotton out of her garden. And she had chickens, and I literally just broke down in tears one day when I was on the farm just doing all the things, and I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh. I'm literally getting back to my roots.”
"I literally just broke down in tears one day when I was on the farm just doing all the things, and I'm like, ‘Oh my gosh. I'm literally getting back to my roots."
You can catch glimpses of Dreka’s farm life on Instagram, which shows her picking fruit and vegetables and loving on her animals like her camel Eessa. Her passion for growing and cultivating led her to try and grow all of her ingredients for her wellness brand, Dreka Wellness. However, she quickly realized that she might be biting off more than she could chew. But that didn’t stop her from fulfilling her vision.
Watch below as Dreka talks more about her business, her wellness tips, breaking toxic cycles, becoming a doula, and more.
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It never fails. Whenever the topic of me and my super long bout of abstinence comes up in conversation, one thing that people ask me is how in the world was I able to pull it off? That is a book within itself, but what I will say, as it relates to this article and the 10 women who contributed to it, there is something very empowering about abstinence, especially when you enjoy sex as much as I do.
It teaches you about self-control. It teaches you how to learn (more) about what your needs are beyond the obvious when it comes to holistic self-awareness, relational connection, and even sensual pleasure. It also teaches you how to tap into deeper levels of your femininity — and spirituality — and all of this can cause you to feel good about yourself in a way that’s very different from any other decision that you may make as it relates to your overall health and well-being.
Hey, you don’t have to take my word for it, though. Take a moment to check out what these women had to say about what going without sex, for a season, did for them. It just might surprise — or even inspire — you.
*Middle names are always used by me so that people can speak freely*
1. Andrea. 29. Abstinent for Six Months.
“The sex with my ex had me so f-cked up. In a good way, kind of, and then in a f-cked up way too. The best way to explain is, we had been together for three years, and before him, I hadn’t had an orgasm before; with him, I had multiples, almost every time. A first orgasm is like a first hit of a drug — it’s so addicting that you’ll rationalize all kinds of reasons to stay in something that isn’t working otherwise. That was us. When we broke up, we still kept having sex, and that was making me feel worse about myself because I knew that I deserved more than just a sex high.
"So, I cold turkey stopped to get back to me — and I’ve needed more than a couple of months to do that. No more sex with him has made me get back to me: who I am and what I really want. It’s made me see relationships and sex differently. I’m still figuring it out, but to get back control of my heart and my body has been good because I know that next time, I will be in better control of how I feel about a man — and how he makes me feel. I won’t compromise either one. Not settling is sexy to me.”
"I won't compromise either one. Not settling is sexy to me."
2. Jameela. 44. Abstinent for Three Years.
“My husband was my first. A part of the reason why we divorced was sex-related — we just weren’t in sync that way. After six months of therapy to heal, I went on what I call a ‘sex adventure’ to see what I really wanted from intimacy. After I got the answers, I decided to be abstinent because I also wanted to see how my new understanding of my sexuality lined up with who I was after the divorce. The adventure lasted for about a year and a half. I’ve been abstinent for double that.
"It wasn’t on purpose, it’s just…once you know who you are, what you like, and what you need — when you know it for sure, you’re not anxious. My marriage had me anxious because I knew that something was missing. Now, I know what that was, and I can wait until the whole package comes along. I think men knowing that ‘I’m good’ is what they find to be really sexy. I know I would.”
3. Waylen. 37. Abstinent for Seven Months.
“The most attention that I would give my body was during sex. Yes, I’d bathe and do the basic stuff — I mean that I wouldn’t make the time to ‘love on me’ the way I would expect my partners to. That caused something to be missing during sex, so I decided to take a ‘time out’ to see what I was going without. Trying different scents, seeing what colors I like to see myself in, creating romantic evenings at home with nothing but me, some flowers and throwback R&B, exchanging cotton sheets for silk ones, giving myself vaginal massages — how do you expect someone to make love to you when you don’t even do it? Abstinence has been a sensual and satisfying experience.”
4. Leeyah. 50. Abstinent for 16 Months.
“I think all women should be abstinent at least once or twice in their lifetime. Our culture makes us feel like all we have to offer is a pretty face and a vagina a lot of times — we need to get off of the ride and remind ourselves that we have a lot of players and plenty to offer. My first year was about getting over an ex. This year has been about celebrating me. Some of it has sexual components to it. I’ve done vaginal mapping. I get facials for my vagina. I buy lingerie for myself. You’ve gotten me into doing sex journaling, and that has taught me a ton.
"I’m seeing someone now, and we do tantric breathing together, which teaches me how to release and restrain my sexual power. Abstinence reminds me that sex is a part of who I am, not all of it — and that the people who should have sex with me should treat me that way. That makes me feel like a sex goddess.”
5. Jaya. 41. Abstinent for Two Months.
“Somebody should’ve told me how hard this abstinence sh-t was going to be. Damn! I’m only doing it because the past three sex partners I’ve had? The sex was trash, and they weren’t anything to write home about either. It’s easy to blame everything on someone else, but if I’m always choosing men I have to fake it with, what does that say about me? I’m using abstinence to show me that. What I’ve gotten so far is I don’t prioritize my pleasure like I should.
"Girl, I’ve had more orgasms with this damn rose in my nightstand than any d-ck this year. If I’m not faking it alone, I damn sure need to stop with these dudes out here. Let’s see what I learn next month. After that, I think I’m done. Ain’t no point in doing this if I’m gonna end up homeless from snapping at work and losing my job. [Abstinence] is showing me some things. I won’t lie.”
6. Raddix. 37. Abstinent for Two Years.
“My abstinence journey started out as a bet. One of my guy friends bet me that he could hold out longer than I could; the prize was a vacation on the other person’s dime. Are you surprised that he gave in after five months, and I’m still going strong after two years? It was on the trip that he paid for that I decided to keep going.
"I went to Hawaii and got pampered for 10 days. It made me see myself in a different way because pampering is such a sensual experience, and even though I’ve had good sex, I haven’t felt pampered during any of it. No sex makes me want to bring that into it. I’m ready to have sex again, but if you can’t make me feel better than a Hawaiian massage, even with your voice and words alone — I’ll pass. I've gone this long. I'll wait."
7. Brenn. 26. Abstinent for One Year. (Kind Of.)
“Abstinence is a fascinating topic because, shouldn’t we ask people what kind of abstinent they are? I’ve gone without intercourse because I needed a break from birth control. I have a latex allergy, so I do the shot. But don’t think that I’m not getting ‘munched on’. Are you crazy?! I don’t know why oral doesn’t get more props. Orgasms without the risk of pregnancy is next level! And girl, being ‘served’ like that? You are gonna feel sexier than ever!”
8. Milan. 33. Abstinent for Nine Months.
“Nine months is on purpose. I figure that the amount of time that it takes to create a child is a good amount of time to recreate myself. For years, I was the kind of woman who found validation in my sexuality because if there is one area where I know I am excellent, it’s there. But there’s more to who I am than that, and I needed to go without sex to come to this space.
"Having sex made me feel sexy. Not having sex tapped into a sensuality that I needed to explore by myself. Now that I think I’m ready to have sex again, partners will be with a woman who’s explored other areas of herself — they will experience parts of me that I’m just getting to see. It will be a deeper experience. I love that for me — and for them.”
9. Elizabeth. 39. Abstinent for Seven Years.
“You know when you told me that abstinence makes you pickier? Girl, you ain’t neva lied! If you had told me 10 years ago that I would be going without some good ‘D’ for multiple years, I would have been the first to cuss you out — but here it is, seven years later, and I’m still going strong. I can’t tell you that I haven’t had some ‘kisses down below’ or that I don’t enjoy ‘returning the favor,’ but I haven’t been ready to let another man inside of my body, in that way, yet. Self-restraint shows you that you really are the prize. You’ve got to earn this, baby — when the right man does, it will pay off.”
10. Michelle. 40. Abstinent for 3-6 Months. Annually.
“Something that I’ve been doing for the past six years is making sure that I go through at least one season a year of abstinence — season means spring, summer, fall, or winter. One year, I did it because I wanted to cleanse out everything while I was doing a detox, which I also do once a year. I just felt so purified that I decided to make it an annual thing.
"There’s something about purging all of that energy out of your system that’s so freeing to me because, when there is nothing in you but you, it creates a level of self-confidence that you can’t get another way. Seven years later, no regrets. Abstinence reminds me to prioritize me. Damn, it doesn’t get sexier than that…does it?”
Sis, I totally cosign. It really doesn’t.
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Featured image by Delmaine Donson/Getty Images