Go DJ: How Olivia Dope Spun Her "5 to 9" into a Full-Fledged Career
From couch surfing to swag surfing, DJ Olivia Dope is everything in her name: "(D)riven (O)n (P)ositive (E)nergy"
Which of course for most is always easier said than done. Although many of us would love to live a life solely fueled off of daily mantras and positive affirmations, in the real world, staying focused is hard. And staying inspired sometimes feels impossible.
But for DJ Olivia Dope, being anything less than successful is unacceptable. For the Brooklyn-native who turned her "5 to 9" afterwork grind into her full-on dream job, success is measured in increments of happiness--and music makes her very, very happy!
“I knew I loved music; I really wanted to make this music thing happen and just be happy with doing what I'm doing. But it had to be music driven in someway shape or form.”
DJ Olivia Dope with Celebrity Stylist, Ty Hunter, at the "Legendary No Basics Brunch"
Prior to becoming one of the most in-demand female urban DJ's on the East Coast and the curator of the #LivDope movement, Olivia–real name Tamika–was a professional hip-hop dance instructor. Having had the chance to two step with the best of them (including Chris Brown and Shaggy), Olivia soon found herself fed up with the background politics of typecasting in the industry, and instead looked for new sources of inspiration.
Hitting up her “DJ friends from Brooklyn,” Olivia gave the DJ booth a shot and hasn't' looked back since.
“I was so used to being on the dance floor, but once I got behind the DJ booth and started seeing what they're doing I was like, you know what? Let me try it out and see what's going on here and try it out too. Just a hobby, nothing serious. But once I started doing that, people started asking "Oh hey. I see you DJ now. So could you DJ my little backyard party? My Bar-b-cue?' And four years later, we're here!”
And four years later, a musical star in the making was born. Olivia created a name for herself after drawing inspiration from Scandal's very own Kerry Washington, who plays "Olivia Pope" on the show. After a little wordplay on the name, it stuck. She'd spin her way from backyard parties to becoming a regular staple at major award and music scenes.
But don't get it twisted, she is as happy as she is humble, and as real as she is talented.
[Tweet "I'm not an overnight success, this took years for me to build where I am. And I'm still on the rise."]
Olivia tells me. She is sure to add:
“I haven't made it yet. So every accolade that I've gotten so far, I'm very humble about it. I'm very grateful for it. I make sure I remind myself, like hey, I'm blessed to have this so far. People recognize the real and they respect it.”
They sure do. And apparently, people reward the "real" too. Olivia notes that starting small was ironically the biggest thing she could've done for her career.
“Starting off small is so important. Because you never want to get ahead of yourself. You have to understand that everyone has their time. That's one of the main reasons why anytime someone asks me 'Well, how do you feel about competition?' No, there is no competition. Everybody has their own lane. Everybody has their own journey.”
True indeed. But before she was on the ones and twos, Olivia Dope had a regular 9 to 5.
It was just as recently as two years ago that the beautiful, mocha-hued disc jockey made the decision to quit her office job, and recently that very same decision finally started paying off.
“I was [still] working as a normal person should and I was absolutely miserable. So I had to make a decision. Do I actually want to follow my dreams full force? Or do I want to work on somebody else's dream because someone has me on their payroll? And I'm coming [to my day job] every single day and doing their work that they need me to do and not really taking what I want out of life seriously. So I had to make that decision and I quit. And two years later, I'm DJ'ing full time. Paying bills with it and everything.”
So much so that Olivia proudly points out that working as a DJ a convenient three to four times a week has finally afforded her a pretty comfy space in New York City (a seemingly unattainable dream for most considering the hefty price of rent), as well as more time spent with her daughter, Ava. This was especially a big feat for the single mother of one, considering that she was just in-between homes back in 2013. During this time, Olivia made her biggest career sacrifice to date–her daughter. Olivia allowed the seven year old to live with her father while she ultimately worked on their future.
DJ Olivia Dope with her Daughter Ava at the Essence Style Block Party
“[Ava's father] actually took her the two years when I was struggling. I was in no position to be couch surfing with a child. So he was a great support with that. And she was living with him when I was trying to make my dream happen.[My daughter] is my little best friend. One of my toughest critics. My everything. She is right along with me for the ride.
Working for somebody else and you really don't want to be there, that is rock bottom. Mentally. You're not happy. And if I'm at rock bottom right now, there is no place to go but up. So let me do what I want to do and if I die, at least I died trying. At least I died trying to make where I wanted to go happen.”
But of course the road to success doesn't come without some bumps in the road. She points out that although she is inspired by the stories of many Black women in the industry before her, “Like Necole [Kane], Taraji P. Henson and Oprah,” Olivia says that she is still underwhelmed by what she feels is a lack of support from her fellow sisters and spinners. Admitting there has been progress, Olivia reveals there is still a long way to go:
“The thing that I have a problem with is other Black women in the industry not [always] automatically supporting one another. We come into the same space as each other but we're not automatically embracing [one another].Like ok hey. I'm a Black woman. You're a Black woman. We're both trying to get the same goal here. Let's connect. And if you win, I'm going to be just as happy as if it were me winning. We're not doing that enough.
And I feel like that's one of the major qualms I have with being a Black female DJ's. We're not doing that to other Black female DJ's in our community enough.”
When I ask the ever so bubbly and bomb disc jockey and mompreneur what her ultimate goal is in life and her work, she makes it very clear that both are all about the pursuit of happiness.
“I don't even know anymore. People say 'Yeah, I want to get millions (of dollars)!' And if I do, great because I would love a mansion too (laughs). But I'm just all about finding happiness, that's the goal in life. Money doesn't make you happy. Having certain things aren't going to make you [necessarily] happy. And once you find that, skies the limit.I already obtained my personal goal which was to work, doing what I love full-time and paying the bills with it. So everything else is just an added bonus!”
[Tweet " I feel like I'm living my personal dream right now. I feel like I'm living THE dream right now!"]
GO DJ!
Keep up with Olivia on her Instagram and Twitter and the whole #LivDope movement!
A modest goddess who keeps it humble between mumbles. I'm a journalism graduate with a HERstory in digital media, print and radio. Roll the credits: Power 96, VH1, xoNecole, EBONY, SOHH. Deemed "Top 20 Women in Media" by Power 105. Bronx made me, Broward raised me.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images