
TV Host Zuri Hall On Winning An Emmy: 'I Was Broke But Willing To Bet Money On Myself'

If you're a fan of E! News, you may have noticed the series recently added some new brown faces to the mix in an effort to keep the network young, cool and diverse. Former MTV host, Zuri Hall, isone of three correspondents who are the network's super cute fresh faces.
So who is Zuri Hall, and did E! subscribe to the new age method of casting by discovering her on a reality show, Instagram or Vine? None of the above!
Hall is more than qualified for her new position at E! Her resume includes being an alumna of The Ohio State University and an EMMY award-winning journalist. Before E! she was the co-host of FUSE TV's pop culture show Trending 10. She's also appeared on VH1's Big Morning Buzz Live and Fashion Police.
At the age of 28, Zuri's accomplishments are mind-blowing. Somehow she's even found time to launch the women's empowerment movement, “AlphaBabes," and is a frequent YouTube vlogger, where she keeps the details of her life super transparent. You wouldn't just take out your weave for anybody, but she proudly flaunts her natural curls to her nearly 100,000 subscriberslike they're her girlfriends, and you definitely aren't talking about your man with just anyone but Zuri and her bae, professional soccer player, Mettin Copier, are most definitely on our list of #RelationshipGoals. The couple fearlessly answers questions via YouTube about their international long distance, interracial relationship and much more.
If you're not already an AlphaBabe or one of Zuri's loyal YouTube subscribers, come meet your new best friend!
In her interview with xoNecole, Zuri shares her tips for maintaining her self-confidence as well as an epic story of how betting on herself landed her an Emmy.
So many young professionals are using social media as a means to get discovered and get on television. Can you share how you transitioned from local news into a national role as a host on Fuse?
While I was working at a local news station in Dallas, Texas, I was looking to take that next step in my career. My goal had always been to be national by 25 years old. An agent that I was working with at the time submitted me for an on-air position at Fuse, but we never heard back. I couldn't stand to just give up on the opportunity. I dug into the rabbit hole of the Internet until I found the contact info for one of the behind-the-scenes employees on the Fuse team. Instead of a cold call, I sent a "cold e-mail" saying: "You don't know me, but..." And God bless her, she read the email and liked it and my demo reel enough to pass it along to her boss--who ended up being the man who decided they should fly me to NYC and test me out. He eventually became my boss when they offered me the job!
There was a sea of submissions, professional casting calls, and other talent flooding people's inboxes. But that random shot in the dark got me in the door! I felt like the stars were aligning, because that opportunity was meant for me. Other jobs weren't, and I was bummed every time. But when something is FOR you, I believe nothing can keep it away from you IF you do your part to the best of your ability. One of my favorite quotes is from The Alchemist: "When you [truly] want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." For me, I look at it as my faith in God's favor in my life. I'm truly blessed, and I'm so thankful and humbled by the ways in which He's worked in my life.
Congrats on your new gig at E! I'm sure the correspondent job wasn't just listed on LinkedIn! Can you give insight into whether opportunities of that caliber come about because of a manager or agent? And as you continue to rise in your career, how involved are you in seeking after and securing new opportunities?
It's definitely not a job I stumbled upon on LinkedIn (laughs)! Developing and utilizing professional relationships is a major part of any industry. Being represented by a well-connected agency is a major help. My agent knew the position was going to become available, and when she told me about it, I jumped at the opportunity. She's amazing and played an important role from start to finish with negotiations for my deal at E!.
However, I didn't start my career with an agent. You have to pay your dues, build a reel, and then you attract agents, managers, publicists, etc. that want to work with you and represent you.
An agent can get you into a room, but your talent is what keeps you there.
So you have to be sure you go after opportunities you truly feel you're ready for; have faith in yourself and own it.
What are #AlphaBabes, and what was your inspiration behind starting this movement?
The #AlphaBabe is all about strong, sexy, smart, millennial women. I looked out into the media and I saw examples of us. I absolutely feel like I embody what I think an #AlphaBabe is as well as women like Kerry Washington and Amal Clooney. It's all about celebrating women's creativity and smarts; I thought it was time for us to put those attributes on a pedestal. It's not always about who's the hottest or the prettiest or who's look of the day is killing it; that's fine, I love style, I love to get dressed and be a girl, but I also love to have meaningful conversations. I love to learn about other women's stories, where they've come from and how hard they've work because it was a struggle for me to be where I am today. For me the #AlphaBabe movement is about glorifying and glamorizing the grind. It's hard and you have to hustle, but there's something very attractive about committing to your craft, paying your dues, working hard, and being acknowledged for that and not only for being a pretty face in a cute dress or whatever frivolousness we tend to glorify in society these days.
You're very transparent about sharing your relationship with your boyfriend Mettin on your YouTube channel. Many celebs are open about their love life when things are great, but as soon as they break up, they want the public to "respect their privacy." Do you ever worry that being so open about your relationship might negatively affect it in the long run?
Nope! I've always been an open book in regards to my life. And that's a commitment that I knew I made as soon as I decided to share my life on YouTube. I uploaded my first video with my boyfriend knowing very well that if we breakup, it isn't coming down cause it's getting great views! You have to be able to be transparent about that. When you commit to vlogging and putting your life out there, you can't just decide to stop answering questions once the truth gets uncomfortable. My boyfriend and I talked about it and we decided it was something we were okay with doing. God forbid anything should happen between us but that's life. My HeyZuriHall YouTube channel is me sharing my life. Even the parts of our relationship that I'm open about, I never get too specific because at the end of the day, it's still a relationship and we want to keep that intimacy and some sort of sanctity. So we don't put everything out there, but if there's ever anything I need to address, I'll address it.
How did you meet your boyfriend, and how have you made your international long distance relationship work?
Mettin was a professional soccer player in the Netherlands. As fate would have it, he ended up playing in Ohio. We met one summer while I was working at a local news station. We hit it off and started hanging out. It was great, then we were like wait, you're not from here! He was going back to the Netherlands, which was the plan before he met me but we decided to keep dating because, why not. I was used to long distance relationships because I was always moving for work. No matter who I was with if we lasted longer than six months, it was going to become long distance because I moved to a new city every year. Mettin and I decided to give it a go and somehow it worked! We were long distance for a year and a half.
[Tweet "When you meet that right guy, you can't stop him from trying to be with you."]
He's going to make it happen and there's not going to be any excuses because he wants to be around you. Just as much as you're trying to meet him in the middle, he's trying to get there also. Was it tough not seeing someone I loved for months at a time, yes. But did we love each other enough that it was worth it? Absolutely. In the beginning, we were seeing each other once every couple of months, and now he's here! Well…he's in New York right now, but we're in the same country so that's progress! Relationships work when two people want it to work.
Looking back on your early 20s, what do you wish you would have known that you would share with other young professionals?
I would have told my younger self to stand up for the professional acknowledgement that I truly believed that I had earned or deserved. In my early 20s, I was definitely more meek and shy. When I felt like I deserved to be acknowledged and it didn't happen, I would go into my shell and mope about it but not articulate it.
[Tweet "People will only treat you the way you let them. You get what you deserve when you demand it."]
If I would have been able to set boundaries and say, "No, what you're doing is not okay and this is why…" I feel like I would have gotten the things I wanted much quicker and with a lot less heartache. It took me a long time to realize how to stand up for myself. I would encourage others to stand up for what you believe in, because no one's going to do it if you don't. Don't let people get over on you. Force yourself to step outside of your comfort zone, you may feel weird or awkward when you have to tell people, “I didn't appreciate it when you spoke to me like that" but in the long run, you'll thank yourself. Learn to say “no" early on because if you say “yes" your whole life, you're going to be very disappointed at the end.
Tell us about winning your EMMY!
It was the Indiana Regional EMMY for the Lower Great Lakes Chapter. It was for “Outstanding Talent" in the host category. The experience was an example of me really believing in myself. The way EMMY nominations work, someone has to pay for you to be considered for the nomination. It happens in that way so people aren't just randomly submitting. But just because you paid to be considered, it doesn't mean you'll get nominated which happens to the majority of the people that submit for the process. So my station only had an alotted amount of funds to nominate employee work, so I ended up submitting myself. I really believed in my work, so I put the money to have myself considered for the nomination, then I got the nomination and I won the EMMY.
I was broke, I was just starting out but I was willing to put money on myself.
It was one of those situations where I fought for that, and I banked on myself and if I didn't, then I would have never had that amazing experience of sitting there in the audience with a lot of other amazing anchors, editors and producers and hearing my name called. It was such a great life lesson; no one has to get the vision but me because at the end of the day, no one has to execute it but me.
That's so perfect that you say that because xoNecole was born out of Necole believing in herself and the vision of the new site. She was just tweeting all about “bet on yourself…"
It is so easy to hop on a bandwagon, but it takes a special person and a special team to see your vision before it's real. If you don't have that team or support system, that's okay because only you have to get it.
That's why I love Necole's transition; it's such a beautiful thing. I love that she's putting her heart and her soul into the new site because I can relate to that. I get chills just thinking about when I read her letterexplaining her thought process behind the change because that resonated with me.
Oftentimes, we want something, we feel it in our soul, we know that it's right for us, we know that it's what we should be doing, but outside influences make us second guess ourselves. Instead of executing, we wonder, “what if…?" or “it's just not going to work." How do you say no to all of those negative influences and keep all of that out of your mind when you're the only person that understands the six-month mark or your five-year plan? People who can do that are the most brave and courageous people. They're who I respect, admire and aim to be like.
You can read more about Zuri Hall by visiting her official website, ZuriHall.com, or subscribing to her youtube, HeyZuriHall
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Your February 2025 Horoscopes Are All About Self-Love & Soulful Alignment
Explore your sign’s 2025 horoscope predictions to learn what is in store for you this year in love, career, and more. Check out the love compatibility of each sign to learn more about zodiac pairings and all things compatibility.
February is a coming together, as a culmination of community and abundance is evident. Some significant planets go direct this month after being retrograde since this past year, and we can finally take a deep breath. We walk into the month in Aquarius season, and the focus during this time is on coming together with the people you resonate with on a soul level, opening your heart to love, and gaining perspective in the process. When the Sun is in Aquarius, everything feels more electrified and inspiring, and this is one of the best months of the year to manifest and set your intentions.On Feb. 4, Venus enters Aries, Jupiter goes direct in Gemini, and the energy and passion return. Venus in Aries is fiery, dynamic, and puts self-love first. While Venus is in Aries for the entire month, February is all about going after the things you want in love, and trusting that you will be supported here. Jupiter goes direct on the same day after being retrograde since Oct. 9, and we can see our blessings manifest more effortlessly now, especially regarding communication matters, networking, short travels, education, and the mind. Jupiter finishes its Gemini transit on Jun. 9, so over the next few months, this is a good time to expand your mind and your vision, get creative, and meet new people.
What February 2025 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
The Full Moon of February occurs in Leo on the 12th, and this is the Snow Moon of the year. This Full Moon brings emotions to the surface and creates self-clarity and honesty in the process. This Full Moon is a time to let go of old versions or ideas of yourself that don’t align with who you are today and to focus on what feels authentic and empowering for you right now.
On Valentine's Day, Mercury enters Pisces until Mar. 3, and the mind is on love right now.
While Mercury is in Pisces, we speak in words of poetry and spirituality, and mental connections turn into romantic ones. This is a beautiful energy to walk into on the day of love, signifying an urge to be around people who truly understand you right now.
Pisces season begins on Feb. 18, and we move into a time of closure, healing, creativity, and introspection. On Feb. 23, Mars goes direct in Cancer after being retrograde here since Jan. 6, and being retrograde in general since Dec. 6. With Mars now direct, there is more energy and direction at our disposal, and less confusion on where to go from here. Mars will be direct in Cancer until Apr. 18, and there is a lot of love, support, and intuition to be felt right now. Mars in Cancer supports others while also cherishing boundaries, and this is a good time to feel more stability in matters of the home and heart.
We end the month with a New Moon in Pisces on Feb. 27, and this is a time of magic, dreams coming to fruition, and romance in the air.
A New Moon in Pisces reminds us that what has been lost always comes back around in a new form, and helps us see what our heart is grateful for right now. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for the future and to dream the dream. Overall, February is an inspiring and enlightening month, and your heart is the one leading the way right now.
Read for your Sun and Rising Sign below to see what February has in store for you.
ARIES
February is all about love for you, Aries. You are thriving within relationship matters as Venus is in your sign for most of this month. Venus moves into Aries on Feb. 4 and will be here until Mar. 27, however, Venus will be going retrograde in your sign on Mar. 1. So, use February to walk into some new beginnings in love, but remember to take your time with things here as well. You are overall feeling more reciprocity, support, and positive recognition now, and self-love is key this month.
On Feb. 12, we have a Full Moon in fellow fire sign Leo, and this Full Moon occurs in your 5th house of romance.
This is a beautiful Full Moon for seeing love bloom and for experiencing a sense of fulfillment that brings you closer to another. Before the month ends, Mars goes direct after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with the home, family, close loved ones, and emotional stability. With Mars now direct here, new foundations can be built in your world, and you feel more supported and secure as you end the month.
TAURUS
This month is a time to reflect, accept, and move into your new beginning, Taurus. There is a lot to process this month, and with the Sun in your 10th house for most of February, a lot of your focus right now is on your goals, purpose, and life path. The Full Moon happening mid-month is an opportunity for you to see things clearer in the home, and to create space for more support and nourishment here. You are letting go of what is weighing you down or making your emotional world feel more difficult to process this month.
Mercury enters your 11th house of hope, community, friendship, and manifestation on Valentine’s Day this year, and you move into a time of inspiration. You are thinking of all the things that make you feel empowered, loved, and in tune, and it’s time to create more of this energy around yourself. We have a New Moon in this same area of your chart before the month ends on Feb. 27, and you are ready to look forward in life rather than at the past of what could have been.
Overall, this month is about listening to your heart and spending more time taking care of yourself.
GEMINI
February is a chance to take a break, Gemini. You need more time to process and prepare for what’s ahead of you, and you are taking the time to do so this month. February begins with Jupiter going direct in your sign after being retrograde here since Oct. 9. Jupiter, the planet of blessings, will be direct in your sign until Jun. 9, and won’t be here again for another decade. This is your opportunity to set intentions, focus on your dreams, and make some important achievements happen.
Extra good luck and support from the universe are with you now, and the key for you is to let things come to you naturally through patience and dedication.
On Feb. 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and some important culminations are coming through in matters of the mind. You are coming to some conclusions about something, and it’s changing your perspective overall. Before the month ends we have a New Moon in an area of your life having to do with your career, professional world, and reputation, and this is a good time to set your intentions for what goals you want to see through right now.
CANCER
February is a month of enlightenment, Cancer. You are aligned with the path you are walking on right now, and everything is starting to make a little more sense to your heart. This month we have a Full Moon in your 12th house of closure, and you are moving away from an emotionally heavy space. You are letting go of a lot of what has kept you conflicted, and there is a sense of peace that is being obtained in the process. This is your month of inspiring others through your resilience and gift of forgiveness.
Mars goes direct in your sign on Feb. 23 after being retrograde here since Jan. 6. With Mars retrograde in your sign since we began the year, there has been a lot for you to reflect on and emotionally process, and you are seeing yourself and your life with a new perspective and passion. Mars will be in Cancer until Apr. 18, and this is the time to take action on the things that you haven’t been ready to move forward with these past few months. On Feb. 27, we have a New Moon in Pisces, and you are leaving the month in the mood for an adventure.
This is the time to get out of your comfort zone, travel, or do something fun.
LEO
February is about protecting your energy and what you are bringing to fruition in your life, Leo. With a Full Moon in your sign mid-month, you are moving through a time of culmination, release, and inner clarity, and there is a lot to reflect on right now. You are recognizing your need to create boundaries from those who don’t serve you or your life path and are focusing on the things that feel good for you.
With the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month as well, you are gaining clarity on the relationships you want to move forward with, and where you need to create more space.
Venus is in Aries and in your 5th house of romance, self-expression, creativity, and joy for most of the month, and your heart is yearning for some excitement. When it comes to love in February, opportunities are coming to the surface for you to get out of your head and into your heart, heed the call. At the end of the month, Mars goes direct in your 12th house of closure, and you are moving into a breakthrough. You end February with less weight on your shoulders and more energy to just be.
VIRGO
Trust your intuition this month, Virgo. February is a month of getting organized, gaining clarity, and feeling purposeful. With Jupiter going direct in your 10th house at the start of the month, blessings follow through regarding your career and professional world. The intentions you have been setting and going over these past few months, are coming to fruition for you now, and you are being recognized and supported for your efforts here. This is a month of feeling a level up in your life, and like you are where you want to be.
Mars goes direct on Feb. 23, after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with friendship, community, and your hopes and dreams over the past month or so. With Mars now direct in Cancer, it’s easier for you to feel hopeful and to see and experience the magic in life. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in your sister sign Pisces on Feb. 27, and love takes on a new beginning. This New Moon is one of the best of the year for you to set your intentions for love, and trust where your heart is being called to right now.
LIBRA
February is all about perspective and the intentions you are setting in your life through the thoughts you are thinking, Libra. The Sun is in your house of romance and Venus is in your house of partnership for most of the month, and there is a lot to look forward to right now. New developments are coming to fruition within your relationships, and you are reaping what you have sown, feeling grateful for what has come to fruition for you.
This is a beautiful month for travel, moving forward in your partnerships, and feeling more commitment and support in doing so.
With Jupiter also going direct this month, your home life and foundations see improvements and expansion. Anywhere you have been feeling limited here is being lifted for you now, and you are able to breathe and think bigger about what is possible for you and your sense of stability in life. The Full Moon happening on Feb. 12, is a chance for you to connect with the people who inspire you, and to let go of anything that doesn’t feel authentic to who you are today or how you feel about things.
SCORPIO
February is a month of feeling loved, Scorpio. Everything's coming together for you exactly how you have envisioned it, and with the Sun in your house of family, support, and foundations, you are feeling closer to your loved ones in the process. We have a Full Moon in your 10th house of career in mid-February, and culminations are coming through in your professional world, as recognition for your efforts and hard work are here for you now. This Full Moon is about taking the time to congratulate yourself for how far you have come and to feel gratitude for your progress in life.
On Feb. 23, Mars goes direct in fellow water sign Cancer, after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with travel, adventure, spirituality, and education over the past month or so. With Mars now direct, travel plans follow through and it’s easier for you to see the bigger picture. The New Moon of the month takes place on Feb. 27, and this is a beautiful time for you to experience joy and pleasure. You are ending the month by making your inner child happy, showing up, and connecting with the love that surrounds you now.
SAGITTARIUS
This month is a transition month for you, Sagittarius. You are moving on from what has been, and a few of you may even be moving physically or traveling during this time. This is a month of getting into new energy and letting things go where it is needed. February begins with your ruling planet Jupiter going direct after being retrograde since last fall, and you are able to experience more of the blessings in love that you have been looking for.
Love turns a new page this month, and it’s because you are no longer settling for things that don’t align with what you want for yourself or your future.
On Feb. 12, a Full Moon is happening in an area of your life that has to do with your passion, inspiration, travel ventures, and perspective, and you are getting the full picture right now. This Full Moon is about accepting the truths that have come to the surface and following through on plans that you have had for yourself. Mars goes direct in your 8th house of transformation on Feb. 23, and you end the month experiencing a personal breakthrough. A lot is changing for you in February, and you are the one leading these efforts forward because you are owning the life you deserve.
CAPRICORN
A new month is here, and you are looking forward to all of the new experiences you are about to get into, Capricorn. February is an inspiring, passionate, and eye-opening month for you and you are making a lot of progress. With the Sun in your 2nd house of finances, values, and self-confidence for most of the month, you are spending a lot of your time developing new plans and intentions for yourself, especially financially. Mid-month we have a Full Moon in your 8th house of shared resources, and the support that you need to thrive and expand financially right now is becoming clearer to you.
Towards the end of the month, Mars goes direct in your sister sign Cancer, after being retrograde in an area of your life having to do with love, partnership, and harmony over the past month or so. With Mars moving forward again, so are you in love, and your relationship dynamics feel a little more balanced and empowered for you. On Feb. 27, we have a New Moon in Pisces to close out the month, and this New Moon for you is all about setting your intentions regarding communication, networking, and the ideas you want to build off of right now.
AQUARIUS
Your season is here, and everything is falling into place for you now, Aquarius. This is a month of feeling a positive culmination of everything you have been working towards, and seeing the rewards for your efforts. With the Sun in your sign until the 18th, all eyes are on you and you are focused on your personal goals, investments, and self-courage. Jupiter goes direct as we begin the month, turning things around for you in love and helping you see things with a new perspective here.
Blessings and understanding within relationship matters bloom for you now, and you can finally take a break from the confusion here.
With Venus in your 11th house of friendship for most of February, this is the month for connecting with the people who you resonate with on a soul level and giving your heart more time to enjoy the company. The Full Moon happening mid-month occurs in your opposite sign, highlighting your romantic life and sense of partnership. Love comes full circle as you let go of the past here and see the gifts of the partnerships you have been building in your life.
PISCES
February is your month of abundance and opportunities, Pisces. There is a lot to tend to this month, but you have the empowerment and passion to do so. Jupiter goes direct in your 4th house as the month begins, and you are feeling stronger foundations emotionally and within the home right now. Progress is being made in the spaces that are close to the heart, and you are feeling the blessings of support and stability in your life. The Full Moon happening on Feb. 12, is about letting go of unhealthy daily routines or habits and giving yourself more space to figure out what feels right for you.
On Valentine's Day this year, Mercury enters your sign, and your mind is focused on love, understanding, and connection. The conversations you are having now are fulfilling your heart and inspiring you, and you are gaining clarity in relationship matters as well. Pisces season officially begins on Feb. 18, and it’s your time to shine, to love, and to be loved in return.
Before the month ends we have a New Moon in Pisces on Feb. 27, and this is one of the best times of the year for you to set your personal intentions, manifest, and reinvent yourself.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Why We Get Dating Icks & When To Pay Attention To Them
A lot of us have been there. You're vibing with someone new, things feel promising, and then one night, you're out to dinner, and it happens. The moment that changes everything.
He calls the waiter over to ask a seemingly innocent question about his order because something isn’t quite right with his meal. Okay, fair enough. But instead of just listening to the explanation the waiter gives, he decides to prove how wrong the order is. He goes through his plate piece by piece, making the waiter watch as he dissects his food like a game of Operation. The waiter, clearly biting his tongue, picks up the plate of food and promises to bring him a new menu item that would be more to his liking. Despite the resolution, the entire exchange reeks of entitlement, and suddenly, you can’t unsee it.
It’s a canon event, I fear. And just like that, the chemistry that once had you feeling drawn to this person dissipates. You try to continue your meal like nothing happened, but it did happen. And now? Now, you’re experiencing the ick.
You see, "I got the ick" or "he gave me the ick" isn't something this generation of daters says to just say. The dating ick is very real and once it happens, it's hard to see past it. But what is the ick really telling us? Is it a sign to run? Or could it be exposing something deeper about the other person or, hell, about ourselves?
To get some clarity, I tapped Ashleigh Guice, dating expert and founder of Single Woman Chronicles, to break it all down for us. Below, she shares why dating icks happen, how to tell the difference between a silly pet peeve and a genuine red flag, and how to navigate icks when you're getting to know someone who might actually be worth the effort.
What Exactly Is a Dating Ick?
Guice defines an ick as "becoming completely turned off in the early stages of dating due to an action, characteristic, or physical attribute of a person." What might not have previously been a dealbreaker for you suddenly makes you question being in the relationship or connection. That's how turned off you are. That's an ick.
But where do these icks come from? According to Guice, they usually stem from one of three places. "First, as humans, we all have likes and dislikes—some things simply don’t appeal to us. Second, our past experiences can cause us to be immediately turned off by something that reminds us of a negative encounter. Lastly, some people are emotionally avoidant and use 'icks' as a way to avoid genuine connection with others."
Should You End Things Over an Ick?
This is where things with icks get tricky. Not all icks carry the same weight. At least, they shouldn't. Guice believes icks can be categorized as "shallow icks" and "character icks" and it's important to separate the two.
- Shallow Icks are usually about personal preference: someone's height, clothing choices, how they eat, or even the way they text. They might be annoying, but they don’t necessarily mean someone is a bad partner.
- Character Icks reveal deeper incompatibilities, like a lack of emotional awareness, disrespect toward others, or poor communication skills.
"If you're considering ending a relationship over something superficial, it might be time to reevaluate your criteria for choosing a partner," Guice explains. "But if the ick is character-based—like being rude to waitstaff or never asking about your day—it’s worth reconsidering if this is someone you want in your life long-term."
She adds, "Dating icks can signal potential red flags that should be examined internally first to determine if they're serious enough to warrant ending the relationship. If you realize that an ick is indeed a red flag, it should be addressed with the person, or, if it's still early in the dating phase, you might choose to end it."
Common Dating Icks
Guice has worked with her fair share of clients who have also experienced the ick in dating. Some of the most common ones?
Shallow Icks:
- "He's too short"
- "I hate how he talks"
- "His mannerisms are feminine"
- "I don't like how he dresses"
- "He doesn't like going to fancy restaurants"
Character Icks:
- "He only talks about himself"
- "He never asks about my day or life"
- "He doesn't take the initiative to spend time with me"
- "He is rude to strangers"
- "He talks badly about his ex"
- "He brought up sex on the first date"
- "He is too touchy-feely"
Something to note: If your ick falls into the character category, it might be a sign to pay closer attention. If it’s just about personal preference, there’s a chance you could move past it.
How to Navigate an Ick When You Like Someone
Okay, okay, let's say you like someone, but the ick is steadily creeping in. "It’s all about understanding your dealbreakers, offering grace, and practicing good communication," Guice offers as a solution to navigating the ick. She suggests a simple three-step approach before deciding to walk away:
- Ask yourself: Is this a dealbreaker? "A dealbreaker is something you can’t live with in a relationship," Guice defines. "For example, if your love language is quality time, a dealbreaker might be someone who is too busy for you." If your ick is not a dealbreaker, move to step two.
- Bring it up (if appropriate). If it's a shallow ick (like bad texting habits or being a little too glued to their phone), try talking about it. "Let them know how it made you feel and see if they’re willing to address it. If they aren’t, they may not be a good fit. If they are, proceed to step three," Guice advises.
- Give them grace if they’re trying to improve. "This means being patient, not getting upset if they slip up, and acknowledging their efforts when you see them trying."
Do Icks Happen More When Dating Outside Your Type?
According to Guice, the short answer is yes. "I believe dating icks happen the most when someone is attempting to date outside of their type because it’s uncomfortable," Guice says. "Change brings discomfort, and when you’re trying something new, your brain might create reasons to run back to what’s familiar—even if it hasn’t worked in the past."
So, if you’re dating outside your usual type and suddenly find yourself nitpicking, it’s worth pausing to ask:
Is this really an ick, or am I just uncomfortable because this is new?
At the same time, just because someone is different from what you're used to doesn’t mean they’re the right person for you. In this instance, Guice suggests following the same three-step process we described previously, assessing whether the ick is a dealbreaker, communicating about it, and offering grace, before making a final decision.
Dating icks are real, but they aren’t always dealbreakers. Some icks are just preferences, while others are warning signs that shouldn't be ignored. The key is knowing the difference.
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