Fantasia On The Importance Of Knowing Yourself Before Falling In Love Again

"How can you know what type of man you need if you don't know who you are?"

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Whether it be your job, a relationship, your finances, or estranged members of your family, it's important to know that a breakup doesn't have to lead to a breakdown. Sometimes separation is the key to your breakthrough. Just ask Fantasia Taylor, who says that she had to lose everything to gain the life of her dreams. The "Free Yourself" singer recently sat down with the hosts of ESSENCE's Yes! Girl Podcast, where she revealed that her tears were just as real as her testimony.

From a very public extramarital affair to an accidental overdose, Fantasia says that at this point, she has no choice but to be grateful for her experiences. While many would have seen these situations as a reason to give up, this 35-year-old mother-of-two says her pain was a catalyst in pushing her forward. She explained:

"I put myself in a lot of those situations where we become victims and ask, 'God, why? Why don't you do this? Why did you?' And He's like, 'Why didn't you do it? I tried to show you.' I had to go through everything that I went through to get to this day. So I say to God, 'I see what you did, and I didn't listen, so you allowed me to go through that. You snatched everything away from me to help me realize a lot.' He works like that."

Saying goodbye to people, places, and opportunities that don't serve us can be difficult. But it's important to remember that every loss ain't really a loss, you feel me? Fantasia's story reminds us that every L we take is an opportunity to level up our perspective.

With newfound confidence and renewed faith, Fantasia credits much of her growth to her husband of four years, Kendall Taylor.

"I will have to say kudos to him because when he came into my life, he brought out a Fantasia that I didn't even know was there. It started with my whole transition and my fasting time, because if I didn't sit back and take the time to realize who I was and let go of some stuff, then I would have lost him. I say that a lot to women. They'll walk up to me, and they'll be like, 'I want that same thing. How do you get it?' And I feel like you have to sit back and realize who you are first. How can you know what type of man you need if you don't know who you are?"

Real recognize real, and some of these characters in your inbox ain't looking too familiar are they, sis?

It's probably because courtship hit different when you know yourself, and Fantasia agrees with me. The singer wants us to know that we attract what we are, and she had to know exactly who she was before finding her best potential partner. She told the podcast hosts:

"You have to get in that place where you realize who you are and what you want. You know what I mean? I believe that's when it'll come. When he came into my life, I realized the queen I was because of the king that he is."

To read the full interview, click below!

Did you know that xoNecole has a new podcast? Join founder Necole Kane, and co-hosts Sheriden Chanel and Amer Woods, for conversations over cocktails each and every week by subscribing to xoNecole Happy Hour podcast on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

Featured image by @tasiasworld.

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