

Male-centric sex in my life has come to an end.
I was recently talking to a friend who told me that one of his greatest fantasies was to get the best head of his life on top of a mountain. He continued on to say he's never gotten any really amazing head before, to which I replied, "You put in what you get out. Maybe you haven't gotten any amazing head because you haven't given any amazing head".
"Oh, I don't do that," he said adamantly and without hesitation.
Really?
While I understand that every relationship is different, I was convinced that the oral sex double standard had been played out for years; I was sadly mistaken. Reflecting back on my own sexual experiences, I realize that when I was younger, it was taboo to ask a guy to eat the box, but now that I've grown into a woman, it's a requirement.
An interview between DJ Khaled and The Breakfast Club from 2014 recently resurfaced and has the internet up in arms about whether or not it's necessary for your man to reciprocate oral sex and prompting some hilarious commentary from onlookers. In the interview, Khaled said:
"It's different rules for men. We the king, so there's some things y'all might not wanna do, [but] it gotta get done. I just can't do what you want me to do. I just can't."
Khaled isn't alone in his thinking, as many cultures hail cunnilingus as a submissive act.
"I believe a woman should praise the man, the king. If you holding it down for the woman, I feel the woman should praise and the man should praise the queen but my way of praising is called 'How was dinner? You like the house you living in?' 'You like all the clothes you getting,' 'I'm taking care of your family. I'm taking care of my family?' You know, putting in the work."
Y'all smell that? Smells like the funky ass patriarchy indulging in some internalized misogyny at play here, and I want to get to the bottom of it. For years, vaginas have been used and abused for convenience, but I have made it my personal mission to end the male-centric sex in my life.
I have one golden rule in the bedroom, I come first.
Eating p*ssy is an obvious prerequisite for my strict requirement, and I won't have sex with a man unless he's down to lick all 32 flavors.
Stars like Dwayne Johnson, Amanda Seales, and even the dictionary weighed in on the comical double standard. Seales joked in an Instagram video:
"So, Khaled doesn't eat p***... How can someone that's so much about motivation and support not understand the value of putting your face in the box? And then you gotta wonder like, what is he doing, if he ain't eating the puss?"
Let's face it, vaginal orgasms from strictly penetration are pretty much a myth. If you know someone who's had one, please find her and ask her to call me, I need to understand how this happened. Women normally require some type of clitoral stimulation before achieving an orgasm, and it's time to retire the age old theology that the d*ck should be enough. It's just not bro. No matter how big, wide, and strong a man is, it takes some quality TLC to help a woman reach her level of optimal pleasure.
Although I personally need a bang for my buck, this writer from Madame Noire hit the nail on the head about the real message that men perpetuate by not being willing to go down on their lovers: that they are selfish, inconsiderate and ignorant.
"Perhaps, he has a rare woman who doesn't appreciate oral sex and she's happy with him. At the end of the day, everything ain't for everybody. But what's particularly troubling is the message that's being disseminated here. I'm not speaking about Khaled and his fiancee. It might work for the both of them. But being in a romantic relationship requires more than money to ensure that both parties are happy. Paying for dinner, buying clothes and taking care of family doesn't give men a pass to have all their needs met while a woman goes without."
As much as I enjoy watching a man's eyes roll back and his toes curl as I give him the the ride of his life, no man will enjoy the fruits of my fellatio without offering up some sloppy top first.
The misogynistic idea that women should be satisfied by mediocre dick and the fulfillment of basic financial obligations alone is dead. Millennial women have succeeded in pioneering and securing the bag and achieving sexual liberation, creating a culture of women who know that they too, deserve to have orgasms.
Reciprocity is key.
If you haven't seen the controversial video yet already, click here or watch it below.
- Dwayne Johnson Speaks Out After DJ Khaled Admits He Doesn't Go ... ›
- DJ Khaled Doesn't Like Giving Oral Sex to Women ›
- DJ Khaled said he does not perform oral sex on women because ... ›
- DJ Khaled Said He Expects Oral Sex But Won't Return The Favor ... ›
- DJ Khaled Doesn't Go Down On His Wife, Why That Sucks ›
- Breakfast Club Classic: DJ Khaled Explains Why He Doesn't Go ... ›
- DJ Khaled Said He Doesn't Go Down on Women and the Internet ... ›
- DJ Khaled Doesn't Eat It - YouTube ›
- DJ Khaled Explains Why He Doesn't Go Down on Women ›
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole