CurvyNoire Lets It Be Known God Makes No Mistake When He Creates Black Curvy Women
America has such a love-hate relationship with Black women, especially those of us with larger curves. One minute mocking, next minute on the surgery table imitating. One season it's trendy to be runway thin, the next minute being voluptuous is considered desirable. But here is the thing, being a curvy black woman is not a trend, it is a reality that so many of us live in a world where we are told we are beautiful and sexy despite of our weight, instead of because of it. CurvyNoire created an intersection where high fashion and plus-sized Black women could meet, set the runway on fire, all while having important conversations.
The event that took place during New York Fashion Week. And from start to finish, it was exemplary of the class, poise, and the divinity that plus-sized women ooze so effortlessly. Helmed by powerhouse blogger, entrepreneur, mother, and cancer warrior Maui Bigelow in partnership with MadameNoire, the collaboration blossomed to give the Big Apple something to talk about...or to be speechless about.
Highly sought after plus-size brands and designers like Rebdolls, Kenya Mollie, and Livirae Lingerie adorned the flawless forms of plus-size models and influencers such as Nzinga Imani and MsKristine, with industry veterans like Essie Golden nodding in agreeance that these women were killing it. Based off of Maui's vision of the event, the second the first model came strutting her stuff, the event was a success. The writer shares with xoNecole:
"It is important to me that we show the world that we are out here styling a profiling, and we deserve the same press, the same recognition, and the same love that everyone else is getting. We want everybody to take notice, we want everybody to celebrate women of color in fashion… It is time."
The respect that plus-size fashion and models deserve is long overdue which explains why the event was filled to capacity with a high vibration of love, acceptance, positivity, and creativeness, and celebration of the present moment. Patrons felt seen for who they are and were given an opportunity to take up space for once, instead of trying to fit into the confinement of straight sizes and small minds. Given Maui's track record for selling out these type of events, as she does with her lifestyle honors, her ability and desire to connect with as many people as she can on a meaningful level is what gave this event its magic touch:
"I think that I am my magic formula. A lot of times, people have these types of events, they outsource all of the work. They are not personal with their audience. They are not personal with their influencers. They are not personal with the brands, and it is time for that. A lot of times you have to take back your power and be more responsible for what you want from these events. The most important thing to me is to build strong relationships within our communities."
Each model looked distinctly different, which is so refreshing given the mainstream hour-glass standard of plus-sized beauty presented in magazines, and this was completely intentional. "Not everybody will be on the larger end of plus, and not everyone will be on the smaller end," Maui reveals. "We have models coming from all over the world. And that's exciting for me because only a select few models get that level of praise."
The discussion panel was as stimulating mentally as the models were visually due to an array of important issues within the plus-size community being raised and discussed. Black women are discriminated against in the healthcare field, even more so when considered overweight and obese. Major retailers are now extending their sizes in order to take advantage of the buying power of the plus-size community however we are mostly restricted to online shopping. Though events such as this one, alongside CurvyCon, celebrate how far plus-size fashion has come, they also tend to highlight how much further it has to go. For the time being, let's continue to promote body positivity, celebrate each other's uniqueness, and pop out!
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Essie Golden Doesn't Give A Damn If Her Body Makes You Uncomfortable
5 Curvy Fashion Bloggers You Need To Follow ASAP
Lizzo Wants You To Stop Calling Her Brave: "I'm Just Sexy"
Featured image by MadameNoire/CurvyNoire
New Jersey native creating a life that she loves while living in gratitude. She loves using beauty, and fashion to create a balanced lifestyle while prioritizing wellness. A devoted fur mom, and a full-time lover of laughter. She is out for revenge against the darkness by being light, taking her own advice, traveling the world, and letting you know that you are so lit! Connect with her via IG @iamzaniah and please visit Zaniahsworld.com
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images