"Believe You're The Sh-t": Brandy Reveals How To Find Self-Love After A Bad Breakup
Do you remember where you were the first time you felt like you were the "-ish?"
Was it your college graduation day? The day you got your first car? Place? Can you remember the first time you felt couldn't nobody tell you nothin'? Most likely, yes.
Well for Brandy, that feeling was not that long ago.
For a multi-platinum, Grammy award winning, Broadway stage singing, Hollywood actress and bomb mom, you'd think Brandy had no issues in feelin' herself. But as the entertainer has admitted, empowerment is something very new for her. And she's enjoying every moment of the feeling!
Especially when it comes to her dating life. And if you ever wondered what a breakup is like for Bran; during her last breakup she sat down to discuss how her song, "Beggin' and Pleadin," takes us through that process.
Begging and pleading, hoping and wishing for a change
Forgive me
Begging and pleading, hoping and wishing for a change
Told you, walk out that door, you can keep your last name
Now I’m down on my knees, it’s a shame
Good God almighty
Wave me back
All them bi**hes won’t love you like I, don’t wave me back"
Brandy opened up about the autobiographical track in a behind-the-scenes video:
"I went through a really hard break up and I wasn't able to let it go and get over it. So when I did the song it felt like a true apology, everything I had in that moment, I gave it!When I did the song, it felt real. It felt like a true apology. Everything I had in that moment, I gave it right there because of how I was feeling. It felt like the song was writing itself. This particular song is freedom, [It's] liberty to express myself in the most interesting, edgiest way possible.”
But rather than feel vulnerable by her raw honesty, Brandy admits she feels strength in sharing her truth, regardless of exposing a "weaker" side of her pride and bruised heart:
"It's like "Bish what!" It's like that! It makes me feel bossy; it makes me feel like, even if it's for 2 minutes and 45 seconds, I feel empowered by it. By the story. By the vocal, by the production, everything sounds fearless to me. That 2 minutes and 45 seconds is eternal to me.I'm here to touch a lot of people. I'm not here to touch a few. I'm here to touch a lot. And if you just listen, you'll be able to touch and reach and bring everybody together in music. Especially if it is authentic. Unity, that's what we all need. It's all about what you believe at the end of the day. I believe that I'm the shit."
[Tweet ""It's all about what you believe at the end of the day and I believe I'm the sh*t." @4everbrandy"]
*reaches over and brushes Brandy's shoulder's off*
And for the teen-star who grew up right before our eyes, she admits that the feeling of believing in herself and her worth is slightly new, and that she's adjusting!
"I'm just now getting that [feeling of being the "ish]. It still feels funny to actually say that and like, mean it. Like my heart is beating fast while I'm saying that. And I'm here to stay!"
Welp! They don't call her "Forever Brandy" for nothing!
Sometimes it takes us being at our weakest point to realize the powers that lie within. From what it sounds like, Brandy had a case of a broken heart, something we often feel can only be cured with the help of an ex or a loved one. However, self love is always the best love, especially after you've accepted that it's time to let go and move on.
Check out the footage below of Brandy breaking down the meaning and empowerment behind 'Beggin and Pleadin.'
A modest goddess who keeps it humble between mumbles. I'm a journalism graduate with a HERstory in digital media, print and radio. Roll the credits: Power 96, VH1, xoNecole, EBONY, SOHH. Deemed "Top 20 Women in Media" by Power 105. Bronx made me, Broward raised me.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Another season of Love Is Blind has come to a close, and almost two months later we’re still unpacking the drama that is Clay and AD. The finale, reunion, and post-interviews with Clay and AD after season six of Love Is Blind left millions of people wondering - why couldn’t AD see the signs? Clay told her he had a fear of marriage, his parents experienced infidelity, and he seemed to have many doubts about saying, "I do."
After changing his mind at the altar and hearing AD question why she feels like she’s never enough, I was finished watching. I didn’t need to hear anything else because, at that moment, I realized this wasn’t about Clay; this was about AD feeling inadequate before she ever met Clay.
If I’m honest, I don’t watch much dating television. TikTok keeps me updated with the clips that I need to see in order to be kept in the loop, but it’s difficult for me to watch an entire season of dating TV because seeing Black women settle for less and questioning their beauty is a trigger for me. In many ways, there were points in my life where I was AD, settling and ignoring red flags because I wanted to be loved.
Now, on the other side, it doesn’t feel good to see Black women lower their standards on national television. There have been many hot takes on this couple and who was in the wrong. Did Clay play in AD’s face or did she not listen to the truth of what he told her from day one? Was his reason for joining the show to promote his business and not to find the one?
We’ll never know the truth, but what we can do is learn tactics to better our self-worth. Founder and CEO of The Self Love Organization Denise Francis shared her expertise with xoNecole on what tangible steps to take to improve feelings of worthiness. “Self-love blooms in a garden where self-worth is planted, nourished, and whole. However, when your self-worth is challenged, displaced, or broken, it could be difficult to rebuild," Denise explains.
How To Rebuild Self-Worth
During her self-love coaching sessions, Denise likes to walk her clients through the cornerstones of rebuilding self-worth: grace and self-compassion. To her, self-worth is never lost, it's only displaced, so practicing self-compassion and giving yourself grace is a must. "We tend to place our self-worth in entities and people of ourselves such as relationship status, physical appearance, material possessions, social media followings, what others think of us, and more. Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth.
"Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth."
"When we place our value into people or things, we tend to feel that we are not enough, worth it, special, or important when relationship status, job titles, friendships, and physical appearances are lost or changed. We then tend to feel lost within ourselves because we’ve placed our value outside of ourselves. Using grace and compassion, you can rebuild your self-worth by returning home to who you are at your core," she concludes.
How To Return Home To Yourself
Denise advises taking a step back and using self-reflection through journaling by answering the following journaling prompts:
First, ask yourself, "What do you tend to attach your self-worth to and why?"
Is it your relationships, your job title, your finances, your appearance, etc.? Why do you think you place so much emphasis on external status? How does it make you feel when you are defining yourself through these entities and/or people outside of yourself?
Then, ask yourself, "Without these things, who am I?"
Once you have your answers, show yourself kindness, remove the shame, and, as Denise says, "Redefine yourself by detaching your value from the things and people you have no control over and no longer serve you. Challenge yourself to define yourself outside of titles and societal values."
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person. You begin to find value in the way you love instead of your relationship status, your compassion instead of your popularity, your drive instead of your income/job title, and your heart instead of your physical appearance," she adds.
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person."
"Be intentional with healing your self-worth by leaning into the people and things that nourish your core values. Surround yourself with the people who love and cherish you, they will always remind you just how valuable you truly are."
It all goes back to self-compassion and grace. As Denise explains, leading with those two things as you heal and rebuild your self-worth allows you to reduce negative self-talk that might come up for you. "This weakens thoughts like, 'I am not enough... why am I never enough?'" she shares, "And 'I don't deserve this while strengthening thoughts like 'I deserve better,' 'I am enough,' and 'I am worth it.'"
Denise continues, "Once you return home and remember the irreplaceable person you are, you can rebuild your self-worth by placing it back where it belongs. It belongs to you."
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