

If it's one thing I'm sure of, it's the accuracy of how well SZA was able to capture almost every single phase, worry, and emotion that comes with being in your twenties on her latest album Ctrl.
You know what I'm talking about.
You're stuck in that phase where grocery shopping starts to feel less like a chore and more like fun.
You're in that phase where half of your old high school and college-mates are getting married and have children and the other half have charges pending.
You're in that phase where a job with guaranteed 40 hours a week and a full benefits package sounds like heaven but then again so does drinks and queso with your friends every weekend.
You feel like there's more that you should be doing, that you should be moving forward and yet you don't really know what direction that is.
I get it, I really do but it doesn't have to be this way.
Here are eight things you can do to help you master tf out of your uncertain twenties:
Engage the Power of Community

You are never in things alone, no matter how you may feel and it's better to learn that now. Spend time with and find a tribe of women that will encourage you, convict you when needed, and be that shoulder to cry on when you do have your down moments. There's strength in numbers, sis.
Get to Know Yourself

With all of the beautifully curated lives on social media and the plethora of gurus on television, it can be hard to decipher your wants, needs, and interests from the masses. Get clear on who you are. Not who you "post to be." Figure out what makes you happy, your affirmations, how certain things make you feel, and what's important to you. Dead the noise and get reacquainted with you.
Check Impostor Syndrome at the Door

Listen here sis: YOU ARE AN ACHIEVER.
Stop downplaying your accomplishments and everything you've got you've gotten through hard work and good work. Feeling like a fraud is fake news, okay? This is only the beginning. You're more than able and you belong in every room you find yourself in so walk like it.
Define Your Version of Success

For some people, success is three houses, five luxury cars, a rich spouse, and 2.5 children. For you, it might be getting through an entire workweek without taking a nap, not postponing wash day for two weeks, and cooking yourself dinner five days out of the week instead of going out. Figure out what success looks like for you and make it happen as often as you can.
Understand the Come-Up Doesn't Happen Overnight

Don't let the 'gram fool you. All we see is the highlight reel when it comes to our favorite influencers and celebs. Most of them didn't achieve their level or acclaim and significance right out the gate and you shouldn't expect to either. Use your 20somethings to put in that work that can set you up for a beautiful glow up in the future. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither was Oprah's bank account. Do the work.
Practice and Establish a Self-Care Routine

After you get done grinding, take some time to enjoy you. Center yourself in the morning by incorporating some prayer and exercise. Take a break midday and plug into your favorite music for a quick escape. Go watch your favorite movies and buy all your favorite snacks. At the end of the week, after all is said and done, go get your nails done and have drinks with your friends. Treat yo' self.
Remember You Don't Have to Have It All Together

With every phase of life that you find yourself in, you must remember that you've never experienced it before and neither have other people. You've never been in your 20somethings, your parents have never been in their 50somethings. Everyone is literally learning as they go and that's the beautiful thing about growing up. You never stop learning and the minute you try to rid yourself of that fact, you put yourself in an unfair position.
Allow yourself to get it wrong sometimes and know that it's okay. Allow yourself to not know how or what the next right move is and choose to not feel inadequate. Take solace in the fact that we all still honestly have some growing to do.
Good luck on them 20somethings!
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- Why Navigating Your 20s Is Hard | Goop ›
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- 20 Tips To Kill It In Your Twenties: As Told By a Woman In Her 60s ... ›
Writer. Empath. Escapist. Young, gifted, and Black. Shanelle Genai is a proud Southern girl in a serious relationship with celebrity interviews, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and long walks down Sephora aisles. Keep up with her on IG @shanellegenai.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Aries and Aquarius have an instant attraction and connection with each other. The Aries woman finds the Aquarius man intriguing, intelligent, and even a little mysterious. The Aquarius man sees the Aries woman as confident in her own skin, free-spirited, and someone who is dedicated to love, life, and the relationship.
Aries Woman and Aquarius Man Love Compatibility
There aren’t many faults to this pairing, and this is a couple that can last the long haul if their egos don’t get in the way of the relationship and the connection. Aries and Aquarius are the type of couple to support each other no matter what, and they are also quite playful with each other. These two are drawn to each other and make a happy and dynamic couple overall, as they both try to make the best out of life.
What attracts an Aquarius man to an Aries woman?
Aries and Aquarius are attracted to each other’s energy first and foremost. Although they move at different speeds, they value the energy that each is putting out there and they have a unique synergy together. Both Aries and Aquarius are more yang than yin and this brings a lot of excitement to the relationship. With both of them being more outgoing and free-spirited- this is a fun connection.
Aries is intrigued by Aquarius’ intellect and openness, and Aquarius loves to see Aries shine and take charge. The sexual chemistry between these two is off the charts and they are a couple that isn’t afraid to show how they feel.
What is the relationship like between an Aries woman and an Aquarius man?
The relationship between an Aries woman and an Aquarius man is one where there is always something happening. These two aren’t ones to push things to the side and they confront life head-on. This leaves a unique vulnerability and openness between the two, and the relationship tends to grow quickly. This couple is dynamic, original, and empowered.
Although, with a fire and air sign duo drama is especially likely, and tension can be thick between the two as well if things become shaky. If they can learn to handle minor disagreements when they happen, this will lead to fewer blow-ups in the relationship. Overall, however, these two often just get each other and move through life together well.
What is the sex like between an Aries woman and an Aquarius man?
As mentioned above, the sexual chemistry between an Aries woman and an Aquarius man is one of the best of the best. An Aquarius man does not open up to everyone easily, but something is enticing about Aries to Aquarius and they are ready to risk it all for them. An Aries and Aquarius sex life is passionate and progressive, and Aries tends to take charge here. They like to switch it up and try new things in bed, and their sexual chemistry does not burn out easily. An Aries woman seems to always have energy at her disposal and an Aquarius man likes when Aries takes charge here.
What makes a relationship between an Aquarius woman and an Aries man work?
The relationship between an Aries woman and Aquarius man works because they understand each other on a level that most don’t. Both of these signs value their freedom, independence, and authenticity, leaving enough breathing room for them both to feel comfortable emotionally. This isn’t the type of couple to smother each other, and they often build a strong network of community and friendships around them that they both like to spend time with together. Aries and Aquarius are a fun couple who values each other’s company.
The thing about both Aries and Aquarius is that they are both the type of people to stick up for someone and have someone’s back. This is the type of energy they put into their relationship as well, and they are the type of people to be there for each other through it all. Nothing is too weird or unusual for Aries and Aquarius, and they create a safe space within the relationship for both individuals to feel comfortable opening up, being vulnerable, and living in the heart space.
What may cause an Aries woman and an Aquarius man to break up?
The downfall of this duo is that they are both strong-willed and often don’t see themselves as being wrong or at fault. Aries, the first sign of the zodiac, is a leader naturally. Aquarius despises the idea of following anything or anyone, and will often try to challenge Aries' ideas and perspectives, no matter how innocent they may be. Egos are likely to clash from time to time with this duo as they both have strong ones.
Aries can also be quite possessive over their partners and this is the worst possible thing that can happen to freedom-loving Aquarius in a relationship. They can have difficulty feeling seen by one another at times even though they have many similarities, and when challenges do arise, things can get tricky. Things can get heated between the two, as energies can clash. Aries will want to address any issues head-on, and Aquarius doesn’t want to go there and will prefer to escape or focus on something else entirely. They both tend to have short attention spans as well, which can lead the relationship to trouble if not worked through.
Summary: Is an Aquarius man compatible with an Aries woman?
Aries and Aquarius are one of the best duos in Astrology. Air signs and fire signs often have this unique chemistry that is interesting not only to be in but to witness as well. These two often meet serendipitously and spend a lot of their time keeping up with this type of energy and enjoying their life together. Even if things get stressful, whether that be from life in general or the relationship, there is enough chemistry and connection here to help them overcome these times.
Overall, the compatibility is strong here and even when challenges do arise, the passion and true love is there to help navigate the relationship. This is a couple that wants to have fun, travel, spend time with friends, and be the best power couple they can be. This is a charming relationship where they both encourage each other and help each other grow in many ways. The love is definitely there, and this is a relationship in which they are both willing to fight for each other.
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Originally published on March 21, 2023