If it's one thing I'm sure of, it's the accuracy of how well SZA was able to capture almost every single phase, worry, and emotion that comes with being in your twenties on her latest album Ctrl.
You know what I'm talking about.
You're stuck in that phase where grocery shopping starts to feel less like a chore and more like fun.
You're in that phase where half of your old high school and college-mates are getting married and have children and the other half have charges pending.
You're in that phase where a job with guaranteed 40 hours a week and a full benefits package sounds like heaven but then again so does drinks and queso with your friends every weekend.
You feel like there's more that you should be doing, that you should be moving forward and yet you don't really know what direction that is.
I get it, I really do but it doesn't have to be this way.
Here are eight things you can do to help you master tf out of your uncertain twenties:
Engage the Power of Community
You are never in things alone, no matter how you may feel and it's better to learn that now. Spend time with and find a tribe of women that will encourage you, convict you when needed, and be that shoulder to cry on when you do have your down moments. There's strength in numbers, sis.
Get to Know Yourself
With all of the beautifully curated lives on social media and the plethora of gurus on television, it can be hard to decipher your wants, needs, and interests from the masses. Get clear on who you are. Not who you "post to be." Figure out what makes you happy, your affirmations, how certain things make you feel, and what's important to you. Dead the noise and get reacquainted with you.
Check Impostor Syndrome at the Door
Listen here sis: YOU ARE AN ACHIEVER.
Stop downplaying your accomplishments and everything you've got you've gotten through hard work and good work. Feeling like a fraud is fake news, okay? This is only the beginning. You're more than able and you belong in every room you find yourself in so walk like it.
Define Your Version of Success
For some people, success is three houses, five luxury cars, a rich spouse, and 2.5 children. For you, it might be getting through an entire workweek without taking a nap, not postponing wash day for two weeks, and cooking yourself dinner five days out of the week instead of going out. Figure out what success looks like for you and make it happen as often as you can.
Understand the Come-Up Doesn't Happen Overnight
Don't let the 'gram fool you. All we see is the highlight reel when it comes to our favorite influencers and celebs. Most of them didn't achieve their level or acclaim and significance right out the gate and you shouldn't expect to either. Use your 20somethings to put in that work that can set you up for a beautiful glow up in the future. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither was Oprah's bank account. Do the work.
Practice and Establish a Self-Care Routine
After you get done grinding, take some time to enjoy you. Center yourself in the morning by incorporating some prayer and exercise. Take a break midday and plug into your favorite music for a quick escape. Go watch your favorite movies and buy all your favorite snacks. At the end of the week, after all is said and done, go get your nails done and have drinks with your friends. Treat yo' self.
Remember You Don't Have to Have It All Together
With every phase of life that you find yourself in, you must remember that you've never experienced it before and neither have other people. You've never been in your 20somethings, your parents have never been in their 50somethings. Everyone is literally learning as they go and that's the beautiful thing about growing up. You never stop learning and the minute you try to rid yourself of that fact, you put yourself in an unfair position.
Allow yourself to get it wrong sometimes and know that it's okay. Allow yourself to not know how or what the next right move is and choose to not feel inadequate. Take solace in the fact that we all still honestly have some growing to do.
Good luck on them 20somethings!
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Tammy Hurt, Roxanne Shanté and Harvey Mason Jr.
Rob Latour/Shutterstock
“People ask me all the time, what do you think the purpose of you receiving the lifetime achievement award? Not, I didn't deserve it, but it's for all the times that I didn't say yes to things that other people may have said yes to. So it really is an award and a benefit of being able to say, I just stayed me, and when you stay you, the universe gives that to you. So because mine didn’t come from sales of albums, because I didn’t sell millions and millions of albums, and I didn't make millions and millions of records like everyone else. What I did do is I affected many lives, and I was there to push a lot of artists. So it’s for the things that I did behind the scenes.”
Now, Roxanne is gearing up for Rock The Bells Festival, which takes place this Saturday, June 28. The show is packed with groundbreaking artists like Busta Rhymes, Redman, Remy Ma and many more. But that’s not all. This year, the festival is switching it up a bit by featuring R&B acts like Lil Mo and celebrating Uptown Records, who were known for their R&B artists like Al B. Sure, Donell Jones, and Monifah.
“People ask me all the time, what do you think the purpose of you receiving the lifetime achievement award? Not, I didn't deserve it, but it's for all the times that I didn't say yes to things that other people may have said yes to. So it really is an award and a benefit of being able to say, I just stayed me, and when you stay you, the universe gives that to you."
Thai Randolph, strategic advisor and board member for Rock The Bells Festival shares why Roxanne is the perfect person to host the event. “Roxanne Shanté isn’t just hosting—she embodies hip-hop itself. A true pioneer, she laid the blueprint for generations of artists both musically and entrepreneurially,” Thai says.
“Whether you’re listening to her iconic track ‘Roxanne's Revenge’ or catching her captivating energy on Rock The Bells Radio, her authenticity, charisma, and genuine love for the culture always shine through. As a longtime fan, I can't think of anyone better suited to energize the crowd and set the tone for an unforgettable event."
For a lot of people, the rapper’s Netflix biopic Roxanne Roxanne was their first time hearing her life story. The film, which shows a 14-year-old Roxanne navigating life as an inner city kid and creating one of the biggest diss records with “Roxanne’s Revenge,” quickly became a hit with viewers. The radio host says it’s an “honor” that so many people resonate with her story as she wanted it to serve as a cautionary tale for fathers and daughters.
As far as making another film about her life, Roxanne isn’t opposed. “We've been thinking about it, talking to the Rock The Bells family, because we're now branching off and now going into doing podcasts and things like that. We were kind of talking like, you know what? Maybe I need to have a story time,” she says.
“I come with a story time with photos, and that's like one of the greatest things because it's one thing when people tell you a story, but it's another thing when somebody can bring photos and receive other people along with it. So we were thinking about having a real Roxanne story time. We're still thinking about that, but in the meantime, having a radio show that now has about seven million listeners per day, it's also a blessing. So I sit back and I enjoy that.”
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Feature image by Ron Adar/ Shutterstock